IVF - Sisters

[janieleigh501]

Bailie- HUGE hugs to you too! I am sorry things are taking so long. It is so hard to wait. I think the more time you have waiting the more you start second guessing, stressing etc. I am praying that you can get started real soon AND that you get that job! You are definitely not alone!

[janieleigh501]

Well ladies I am going crazy waiting for my FET. I feel like I am going over everything again and again. The bad news is I have another 5 weeks before my actual transfer. Ughhh!

[Toad1979]

Thanks ladies. My DH is pretty calm as well and I was a little worried that he was weird because of that. He is stressed about the money part of it but he is really the most calm and patient man I know.

Thanks so much for the input. It makes me feel a little better to think that we aren't in this alone

I am good other than the stress of waiting to hear from my dr and such. I am really really hoping for the go ahead very soon

I'm sorry you're stressing! I hope you get the go ahead soon!!! I can't wait for you to go on this journey.

[Toad1979]

I feel like I'm missing out on a few posts here! I probably shouldn't be on APA while at work though!
I started typing this out earlier, hit the wrong button on my mouse and deleted everything! Don't you hate it when that happens!
My u/s today was good - pretty much the same as yesterday. He's very confident at this point I'm not going to hyper stim, which is good. He decided to up the follistim and menopur a little bit (knowing my eggs aren't going crazy!), but he's also adding in the ganirellex so I don't drop any too soon. So now I have my two shots at 6:00 and then the ganirellex at EXACTLY 10:00. YIKES! I still can't believe I'm doing this sometimes.

Monica - so crazy that it's happening this week! I'm truly over the moon for you!

Bailie - Keep your chin up and keep blogging! I haven't been over there in a few days - I need to go visit your page!

Janie - The good thing is that the next 5 weeks are going to go by SOOO fast! I think that's why I'm constantly amazed with this whole situation we are all going through. It really does progress quickly doesn't it? I always thought it was a long drawn out process! Not anything like I expected. I'm hoping and praying for you. Can't wait for your little girl to become a big sister.

I'm so glad I found all of you on here.... seriously. It's saved me in so many ways! As much as I enjoyed all of the other boards, this is the only one where I've felt that someone REALLY knows what's going on with me because they have it too. Although it sucks we are all in this boat, I'm glad we are in it together! Big, big to you all!

[mmd08d]

I feel the same way, Jodi! This really does feel like a 'sisterhood' of sorts. It's such a difficult thing, and I hate that any of us have to go through it, but I'm so glad we've got each other!!

Janie - the next 5 weeks is going to fly!! I still can't believe I started this thing in April, and here I am going in for my retrieval on Thursday. I'm just floored. I know it will go fast for you too. As much as I hate the meds, I do think all the medications make the process go quickly, ya know? It's like by the time I figure out what I'm doing and get in the routine of doing it, it is almost over! I can't wait for your FET and I will be saying loads of prayers for you!

Bailie - keep us posted on that job girl! I am seriously pulling for you!!

Nic - How are you doing? Anything new going on?!?

[SNG]

Hey ladies sounds like everyone is doing pretty well.

Monica – I am so so so excited for you!!! Congratulations. I haven’t been on the group long but it seems things have gone quickly for you and I’m hoping for the same. I really appreciate you sharing your numbers, helps me to know what’s “normal” and not. You’ll have to keep us posted on the ER I’m so anxious for that part. Our RE does 7am samples too. It works if you think of it as morning….

Jodi – So excited for you too. Also keep us posted on your numbers. I’m a couple weeks behind you & it makes more since when they talk numbers and you know about others. It will be your turn before you know it.

Bailie – I think our men like to put on a tough face for us sometimes. My DH is not hot on the money either, hence this is our only shot at it. As for talking… after going through this the past four years we’ve got good at really checking in and being good listeners. My DH has found a male co-worker that he feels safe talking to. It’s good because he’s not in our social circle and we’ve backed off of how much we’re sharing these days.

So some questions for you ladies. I am usually a control freak but for some reason I’ve surrendered my body to RE and doing as I’m told. I guess I didn’t realize there was an intimate restriction. What all have you been told about what to expect like do you get your period during this, no hanky panky time, recovery time, bed rest, when you find out, etc.

[SNG]

I think I've been missing post too. Your right APA and work don't mix It's funny my husband and I are sitting here as he's waiting for me to get off the computer and we were just talking about how great it is to have a support group of people who are going through the same thing. Thank you for being here.

Janie - I'm sorry that it feels like such a long time but I agree 5 weeks will go fast and before you know it you'll have a little baby to hold.

[Mrs.PMAL]

Janie: these next few weeks are going to be so full of excitement for Monica and Jodi you won't have time to be nervous for yourself. So excited for you

Jodi: YAYAYAYAYAYAY!! so stinking excited for you and so happy that your doc is confident you wont' over stim.

Monica: Thursday is not going to come quick enough!

Nic: Hows things??

AFM: Really truly thank you all so much for the support and positive feedback on my blog I so appreciate your support. I will Keep you posted about my job and hopefully my doctors office will call tomorrow with an update.....really really hoping for this all to get going soon!

[Mrs.PMAL]

I think I've been missing post too. Your right APA and work don't mix It's funny my husband and I are sitting here as he's waiting for me to get off the computer and we were just talking about how great it is to have a support group of people who are going through the same thing. Thank you for being here.

Janie - I'm sorry that it feels like such a long time but I agree 5 weeks will go fast and before you know it you'll have a little baby to hold.

That is too funny my husband says to me "I bet they are a bunch of serial rapists and murderers on the other end of that computer."
Obviously I tell him he is ridiculous! lol but I do very much appreciate having you all and I hope that I am supporting you as best I can

[Mrs.PMAL]

As for the blog tonights post is dedicated to you ladies

[SNG]

That is too funny my husband says to me "I bet they are a bunch of serial rapists and murderers on the other end of that computer."
Obviously I tell him he is ridiculous! lol but I do very much appreciate having you all and I hope that I am supporting you as best I can

That is totally funny!!!! I just noticed your blog link. Gonna check it out.

[mmd08d]

Awwww, Bailie that blog post is awesome! You are too sweet. Honestly I feel the same way. I feel so much stronger going through this process with you guys and I hope I can be that type of support to you as well. You are the best!

I gave my ovidrel last night at 9pm. I have to be there tomorrow at 7am. I cannot believe it is almost here. My bloat is about 75% better. How do I know I didn't ovulate or am not going to ovulate on my own?

[Mrs.PMAL]

Awwww, Bailie that blog post is awesome! You are too sweet. Honestly I feel the same way. I feel so much stronger going through this process with you guys and I hope I can be that type of support to you as well. You are the best!

I gave my ovidrel last night at 9pm. I have to be there tomorrow at 7am. I cannot believe it is almost here. My bloat is about 75% better. How do I know I didn't ovulate or am not going to ovulate on my own?

Don't overthink this too much! I have every confidence that you will be just fine for tomorrow mornings 7am retrieval! I will be thinking about you and praying for you
hugs

[SNG]

Bailie your blog was so nice. Thank you so much for your kind words. It does help having eachother.

Monica - Try and rest, relax, get a message, mani/pedi or something if you can. I am so excited for you and your hubby. Rest and let us know how it went. I'll be thinking of you and sending all kinds of good energy your way. As for the ovulating... have confidence in the RE. It also sounds like you have lots of eggs so you should be just fine.

[Toad1979]

Bailie - You rock. Thanks for the shout-out!!!!! So glad we are in this together!

[Toad1979]

Alright ladies.....
I'm having a "panic" moment right now and it's making me mad!
Maybe it's because it's getting closer to retrieval or my lack of sleep, but all of the sudden I'm paranoid about the amount of eggs I have and how many will be able to be fertilized! I've got close to 20, 15 for sure good ones. It seems like you hear and read that it always ends up being a good amount less that ends up being fertilized. Some people may have 25 eggs retrieved, but only 6 that fertilized, and even then, the amount that make it from there goes down too! I'm not sure why this has me worried all of the sudden. He seems happy with what I have going on, that's for sure. And no matter what, I completely trust him, but still! I kept thinking I would end up having a ton of eggs considering he was so worried about hyper stim and the amount I had to begin with. And I know that you can easily have "too many", plus it's the quality, not the quantity that counts. I guess I keep thinking/worrying that I'm going to be the one that has the bad quality eggs and it doesn't end up working for!!!
It really sucks and I'm mad at myself for letting my mind take me to this negative place. My husband said today "you look at the negative side of everything"! I honestly don't mean too - I've always thought I was being realistic not necessarily negative!
Any positive thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated right now!

And another questions - I know that not all eggs will be good upon retrieval. That's just a given because that's the way it goes. I get that. But should I be worried about my egg quality to begin with? Considering the amount of testing that I've had done (hormone and otherwise), if they were worried about my true egg quality or supply, that's something we would already know, right? I mean - shoot we would have known that in the very beginning when starting this whole infertility process, right? I know there are certain hormone levels they can test (isn't that the FSH or whatever?), and when it comes to clomid and everything else, my body has always responded exactly the way it should. From what I understand, that's a good thing. I guess I'm just trying to grasp on to anything positive at this point!!!!

[Mrs.PMAL]

Alright ladies.....
I'm having a "panic" moment right now and it's making me mad!
Maybe it's because it's getting closer to retrieval or my lack of sleep, but all of the sudden I'm paranoid about the amount of eggs I have and how many will be able to be fertilized! I've got close to 20, 15 for sure good ones. It seems like you hear and read that it always ends up being a good amount less that ends up being fertilized. Some people may have 25 eggs retrieved, but only 6 that fertilized, and even then, the amount that make it from there goes down too! I'm not sure why this has me worried all of the sudden. He seems happy with what I have going on, that's for sure. And no matter what, I completely trust him, but still! I kept thinking I would end up having a ton of eggs considering he was so worried about hyper stim and the amount I had to begin with. And I know that you can easily have "too many", plus it's the quality, not the quantity that counts. I guess I keep thinking/worrying that I'm going to be the one that has the bad quality eggs and it doesn't end up working for!!!
It really sucks and I'm mad at myself for letting my mind take me to this negative place. My husband said today "you look at the negative side of everything"! I honestly don't mean too - I've always thought I was being realistic not necessarily negative!
Any positive thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated right now!

And another questions - I know that not all eggs will be good upon retrieval. That's just a given because that's the way it goes. I get that. But should I be worried about my egg quality to begin with? Considering the amount of testing that I've had done (hormone and otherwise), if they were worried about my true egg quality or supply, that's something we would already know, right? I mean - shoot we would have known that in the very beginning when starting this whole infertility process, right? I know there are certain hormone levels they can test (isn't that the FSH or whatever?), and when it comes to clomid and everything else, my body has always responded exactly the way it should. From what I understand, that's a good thing. I guess I'm just trying to grasp on to anything positive at this point!!!!

Okay STOP.BREATHE.
First of all I think if your doctor was worried about your egg quality he would have mentioned so. So for goodness sake let your doctor stress its not good for growing eggs hugs

Second no not all of the eggs retrieved will fertilize and grow but you only need 2 or 3 of them to be good embryos to fertilize! Take a deep breath and take a walk or something God is with you and it will all be okay!

[Toad1979]

Okay STOP.BREATHE.
First of all I think if your doctor was worried about your egg quality he would have mentioned so. So for goodness sake let your doctor stress its not good for growing eggs hugs

Second no not all of the eggs retrieved will fertilize and grow but you only need 2 or 3 of them to be good embryos to fertilize! Take a deep breath and take a walk or something God is with you and it will all be okay!

Thanks! I chatted with the hubby and he made me feel better too. Honestly, I think it's because I'm SO tired. I couldn't sleep for crap last night (or any other night, really), and I can't keep my peepers open today!
I do KNOW that if they were worried or ever worried about my egg quality it would have shown up by now. Like I said - I'm grasping today! I want some wine but really don't feel comfortable drinking right now! Maybe a good workout will help instead! Yeah right.
Thanks friend. I know everyone isn't always on here during the day and I was so happy to see a familiar face respond to my crazy rant.

[mmd08d]

It'll be okay Jodi! I'm glad your DH made you feel better. I agree with Bailie, if egg quality was an issue, your docs would know that. It is true that they aren't all mature, and that they don't all fertilize...BUT that is true for everyone, regardless of egg quality. I just know it is going to be okay. As far as the wine goes, I did have myself a glass on Sunday night. I rarely drink, but I needed a little relaxation. I get myself a little worked up too! LOL! For some reason I am in a sheer panic over the retrieval tomorrow. I even worried so much that I was going to pre-ovulate before the retrieval that I called my RE this morning! I know they've got to think I'm crazy. They made me feel better though, and told me that I didn't need to worry about ovulating before the time. Then I decided to worry about the quality of DH's 'sample' since he will have to give it at about 6am. Anyway, my point is this...there will ALWAYS be something we can stress over. We will always be able to find something, kwim? That won't go away once we are pregnant, or once the babies are born, either (in fact, it'll probably get worse!). So we have to make a conscious decision to trust our docs, and our God and let the rest be out of our control (which it ultimately is anyway!). Love and hugs to you!!!

[Toad1979]

It'll be okay Jodi! I'm glad your DH made you feel better. I agree with Bailie, if egg quality was an issue, your docs would know that. It is true that they aren't all mature, and that they don't all fertilize...BUT that is true for everyone, regardless of egg quality. I just know it is going to be okay. As far as the wine goes, I did have myself a glass on Sunday night. I rarely drink, but I needed a little relaxation. I get myself a little worked up too! LOL! For some reason I am in a sheer panic over the retrieval tomorrow. I even worried so much that I was going to pre-ovulate before the retrieval that I called my RE this morning! I know they've got to think I'm crazy. They made me feel better though, and told me that I didn't need to worry about ovulating before the time. Then I decided to worry about the quality of DH's 'sample' since he will have to give it at about 6am. Anyway, my point is this...there will ALWAYS be something we can stress over. We will always be able to find something, kwim? That won't go away once we are pregnant, or once the babies are born, either (in fact, it'll probably get worse!). So we have to make a conscious decision to trust our docs, and our God and let the rest be out of our control (which it ultimately is anyway!). Love and hugs to you!!!

God.... you seriously rock! I wish we could meet in person sometime because we would totally get along! I'm glad I'm not the only one who stresses about this. I've already thought about voicing my concerns tomorrow with him. He knows me well enough by now... he's probably surprised that I haven't been asking a lot more questions up until now! I'm one of those people that a little reassurance will go a long way (well... most of the time). And you're totally right - there is always something to stress over! I can't imagine how I'll be when I do get pregnant. The first 12 weeks for me will be interesting to say the least! I started saying some little prayers and that has helped too. I wish I remembered to do that more often. It's amazing how caught up we can get in our own thoughts huh? We forget to just let it go and give it up to God. For someone like me who is a control freak, that can be a serious struggle.
I'm sure I'll be panicking over the retrieval too! I just know it's all going to go perfect for you! I still can't believe that it's time for you.... it's gone by so fast.
When you feel better and are more awake once you're home and everything, you have to keep us posted! I can't wait to hear how everything goes!!!

[mmd08d]

I promise to keep you posted! And from one control freak to another...

[SNG]

Good to know I’m amongst control freaks. Makes me feel less crazy.

Jodi – I totally hear what your saying. I like to know numbers what’s considered normal and what’s not. I have the same thoughts too mines more about implantation. Although I’m getting new ideas of things to be concerned about. My RE said for someone our age you should get anywhere from 7 to 30 quality eggs. He generally is happy with the middle around 15. So, I’d say your doing good. From my understanding when RE said quality he meant size. Personally, I think if you have any concerns you should totally call. Heck, we’re paying enough they can field a few phone calls and ease our stress. Please do breath and have a glass of wine if you want.

Monica – I’m glad you called your RE. We do need reassurance and there is nothing wrong with that. You are so close I can only imagine the range of feelings your experiencing. I know it will go beautifully for you and before you know it you’ll be going in for your ET. As far as your DH sample. I don’t think the time of day matters. In fact we’ve had so many IUI’s that I quit worrying about timing intercourse. I can tell you because I ask the numbers and motility every time that it didn’t matter if we had intercourse day before or not. Also he always gave samples at 7am and the motility was always above 80% and the numbers were in the multi millions. The plus side tomorrow is that they won’t get lost or distracted trying to find those little eggs. Wish you the best and I know it will be great.

[janieleigh501]

Oh girls I think it is so funny that we are all control freaks! And the most ironic thing about that is we are SO out of control! I always thought that by doing IVF I would feel like I was more in control because it is such a controlled process... Boy was I wrong! I felt even more out of control than ever. With IVF I just felt like I know had the knowledge of every little detail that I did not have any control over!

Monica- I know it is nerve wracking waiting for the retrieval. It will go well I am sure of it! Just try to take a few deep breaths and know you are being prayed for and we are all sending you hugs from accross the country! I am glad that you were reassured by your RE today. You are so right about the worrying part, if its not one thing its another. I am constantly trying to "let go" all the details and trust God. Much easier said than done, and its a daily, sometimes hourly occurance! I will be anxiously awaiting the news of tomorrow!

Bailie- Thank you so much for your wonderful blog! It is so honoring to be apart of each one of your journies! I also loved what you said about the next five weeks flying cause of my excitement for Monica, Jodi, Nic and hopefully you real soon. It is going to fly by. I just need to stop thinking about all the details right now. I can focus on everyone elses deatils!

Jodi- I agree with all the other ladies in that your RE would have TOTALLY mentioned egg quality if he was concerned. They have several blood tests that can give them an idea of your egg quality before moving forward with IVF. I know my RE uses several of those numbers to determine protocol as well. You have EVERY reason to be positive at this point! I can realte though to being "guarded" which sometimes comes accross as negative. I just think after you have had so much dissappointment its hard not to be guarded, BUT I still think you have every reason to be extremely hopeful!

[Mrs.PMAL]

Janie: <3 thank you

Monica: I feel like you should be a writer ;) And since we all seem to have a little 'Type A' going on I guess I will admit to mine as well. You said it perfectly..there will always be something to stress over
Anxiously awaiting news of this mornings retrieval

Jodi: you are getting closer every day! When is your retrieval??

Nic: When is your retrieval? How are your numbers

AFM: that doctors office still hasn't called me back UGH! I know I need the in house financing but seriously unimpressed to this point.....I am going to try calling them again today and see what happens.

[SNG]

Hey girls just checking in. If anything I think the thing that is most helpful is hearing others thoughts. I too have this internal battle over trying to stay positive but letting my mind get the best of me. If anything I’ve really learned how to find peace with things that are out of my control and how to be a better communicator with my DH. I’m sure you guys have heard this and it’s often used in the substance world (part of what I do as a counselor), but I think it fits this process too.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Awwww, nicely sums up fertility.

Monica – I’ve been thinking about you all day. I hope you are well and those little eggs are well on their way to being fertilized.

Bailie – I’m still on BCP and Lupron. I have my suppression check June 11th and then start stims.

Is it common to not have any blood work or US before starting stims? How many US and blood work is generally done after starting stims?

[SNG]

Question... Did Lupron or BCP make any one a little short or edgy? I'm on day 4 of Lupron 10 units and I've noticed the past few days I've got a really short fuse and am short with people. Also does Lupron make you bloated or the stims? It's either the meds or in my head either way it's just the beginning... EEEKKKK

[mmd08d]

Hey girls!

Egg retrieval went well this morning. DH and I got there at 7am, and I was in the OR at 745. They ended up giving me propofol (which I'd never had before) and the anesthesiologist referred to it as 'The Michael Jackson drug'. Anyway, I'd never had it before, but I did well with it. I thought I was supposed to have a full bladder during the procedure, so I didn't go to the bathroom right before like I should have. They ended up having to do a urinary catheter to drain my bladder during the procedure. Oh well, I was asleep for that part and didn't know any difference. The whole thing took a little longer than expected (about 1 hour) because they had to get......20 EGGIES!!!

I am thrilled that they were able to get 20, but the doc told DH that they won't all be mature and they won't all fertilize (which we knew, right?)

Afterward when they woke me up I felt fine, but I got really nauseated on the ride home. DH made me some toast and then put me to bed. I just woke up a few minutes ago. I am not quite as nauseated as a I was, but I still really don't feel great. My tummy is swollen but not terribly sore and I haven't had any bleeding at this point. My paperwork says bleeding can start 36-48 hours later. I guess we'll see. I am severely constipated and would do just about anything to go to the bathroom (TMI, sorry). I am definitely hoping that I feel better tomorrow. That is when they'll call with the first report!

I am heading back to bed now. Hopefully I can sleep off this barfy feeling. Thank you for all your love and support girls. Big hugs to you.

[janieleigh501]

Monica you are an egg machine girl! Cant wait to hear the fertilization report! I hope you start feeling better real soon. Get some rest and keep us posted girl!

[janieleigh501]

Nic- the bc and lupron made me on edge! That for me was the worst so hang in there!

[mmd08d]

Now I know what I'll look like 5 months pregnant...this bloating is INSANE! I don't know if I have a touch of OHSS or what? Fun times!