Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: What if we only had one child?

  1. #1

    Smile What if we only had one child?

    This article has an interesting spin on the only child, something to think about for those of us thinking about STC again.
    https://news.yahoo.com/blogs/what-if...130945952.html


    Erica 33, DH 34, STC for 4+ years, Diagnosed DOR 4/2011, mom to 4 , Barbados IVF March 2013!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    In my head
    Posts
    11,933

    Default

    With a smaller population, class rooms would have a little more elbow room. Right now, there is one teacher, for every 16 students. If there were fewer students, teachers would likely have more time to spend with each one.
    Since I work in a district with consistently declining enrollment, I can promise the author of this article that fewer students does not mean better student/teacher ratios. It means less tax revenue paid to district by the state due to fewer children enrolled, which means layoffs and ironically, much higher student teacher ratios, lots of unemployed teachers, and insanely busy workloads for those who manage to hold on to their jobs. Same would be true in a less direct way of anyone who works with children - pediatricians, daycare workers, etc.

    Sorry, I know this was posted in the spirit of cheering us up, but after watching my district be devastated by this exact issue I couldn't find it in me to gloss over that.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #3

    Default

    Interesting article, Erica. Thanks for posting it. I'm interested in reading anything that supports the idea that being an only child isn't damaging to a kid, After so many attempts of having babies through IUI and IVF, I am extremely grateful for our one, wonderful little boy. I want another baby so badly I cannot even put it into words. In fact, I am getting a blood test today to see if it's even feasible to give IVF one last try. So the perfectly innocent question I get almost daily at the park, the market, anywhere, "So do you have just the one child?" irrationally irritates me to no end. While I know most people have not had the financial and emotional struggle of trying for 6 years to have a baby, I wish there was some way people could be more sensitive to the issue. Just because I have one baby doesn't mean I don't want two or three more. It just may not be in the cards for me. But more often then not complete strangers feel the need to tell my my son would thrive with siblings and I need to get going to give him some. I pat myself on the back every time I can shrug and walk away. Anyone else feel this way?
    Code snippet: HTML, Used for websites, email and some forums.

  4. Default

    I don't post often but wanted to jump in here and give the perspective of an only child. Please don't ever feel like not giving your child a sibling is damaging to them. I am always baffled by these "studies" that seem to suggest there is something wrong with only having one child. You know what effect being an only child had on me? My parents loved me, cared for me, I had a good childhood, grew up, am a well adjusted adult with a good job, great marriage, and raising my own family. The same thing that would have happened if my parents had had 2, 3, or more children. I really don't think the number matters - it's what the parents put into it.

    As a child, I NEVER, ever thought about having a sibling or the fact that I didn't. Of course, I was aware of it and thought about it in that sense, but it never dawned on me that I "should" have a sibling or people thought anything about me or my family because I didn't. It was a complete non issue. I was fine.

    All that being said, the ONLY thing I could possibly think to add to the other side of the discussion, is that I sometimes, as an adult, wish I had a sibling. It's a little rough, as parents age, need help, and pass away, to deal with that on your own. BUT, just because you have a sibling doesn't guarantee you're going to get along or that they will even be all that helpful to you.

    If you want other children and truly feel it's in your heart, that's a different story. But, don't feel guilty or feel like you are depriving your child. They will be fine.

    Edit to add: I didn't realize when I posted this that it was in STC, so I wanted to add that I, in no way, mean to imply that you shouldn't be trying for more children if that's what you want. I can't imagine how emotional the situation is, but just wanted to give that perspective.
    Last edited by ladyjbd3155; 08-12-2014 at 11:38 AM.
    - Krystle (31) DH: Jason (34) DS: Isaac 4/22/12

  5. #5

    Default

    Thank you for your perspective on being an only child. I am always interested in hearing the opinion of an only child. My DH and I have one child by choice. We receive our fair share of judgment from people that think if you can, then you should, have a whole house full of kiddos. I mean no disrespect to those who long for more children I just wish there wasn't such a negativity surrounding having an only child. I once had someone ask me if there was something wrong with my child and that's why I didn't want more.....I was speechless.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ottawa, Canada
    Posts
    8,030

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nurse2008 View Post
    Thank you for your perspective on being an only child. I am always interested in hearing the opinion of an only child. My DH and I have one child by choice. We receive our fair share of judgment from people that think if you can, then you should, have a whole house full of kiddos. I mean no disrespect to those who long for more children I just wish there wasn't such a negativity surrounding having an only child. I once had someone ask me if there was something wrong with my child and that's why I didn't want more.....I was speechless.
    That's sad Most of our DS1 friends are only children and he's 8. I don't know if it's because he gets along better with only children, or if it's the new norm here. But I see these people's lifestyle with one child, and I am a bit jealous. I love all my children, and wouldn't trade it for the world. But there are SO many benefits for said child being an only.

  7. #7

    Default

    Hi everyone! Thanks for posting in the thread, I always love a good discussion! I didn't set out to cheer anyone up, or imply anything, just to provoke thought...


    Erica 33, DH 34, STC for 4+ years, Diagnosed DOR 4/2011, mom to 4 , Barbados IVF March 2013!!!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •