Chit Chat....

[ayles]

We are dedicating Mia at church on Sunday! I am very excited for that!

DH wants us (and his sister) to take his mom our for lunch, which we do every mothers day and is totally fine, but part of me wants to my first mothers day to have a little something special for me, even though I know it's just another day like any other day. But I really don't want to be disappointed if nothing happens (and by nothing I mean a card is all I need; I've gone birthdays/Christmas's/Valentines Days in the past without even that much). He knows better now about those holidays but this is a new one so it may throw him for a loop . I got the impression that for him mothers day is about his mom (which is understandable because in the past that's all it's been!). We aren't big gift givers since we're on a pretty tight budget - we only spend money on each other at Christmas so it's not like I would expect that anyway.
We don't have TV so I've never heard about this "Babies" movie - is it brand new?

Oh I can completely relate. My MIL lives about 2 hours away and I have been battling with whether or not to invite her to spend Mother's Day with us since DH is her only son in the same state. Butttttttttt it's my first mother's day too so I kind of want it to just be us three; so selfish I know I'm praying about it though and if God says yes then I will do it *pout* but she may have a date on Sunday so I am praying that works out for her

You can see the trailer for Babies here: http://www.filminfocus.com/focusfeatures/film/babies/

[Consensus]

Jenn - I really hope your DH remembers that YOU are a mommy now and therefore deserve at least a card.
How are you guys doing lately, btw?

Superficially better. Having the 5 hour fight the night before and 2.5 hours talking in counseling was like relieving the pressure in a boiling pot of water, but the water is still simmering. I know change doesn't happen overnight and feel we still have a long way to go. It's a little weird because I'm having to lead the charge on requiring real change for our marriage to deepen; I don't know that just feels weird. When I say I had to fight for him to go I mean it was a fight - which was just so unexpected since he was clearly unhappy too. I'm discovering that I don't understand him the way that I thought I did.
I do want to let you know that DH did put a card in my luggage (I'm on travel for work) thanking me for my dedication to our marriage and he looks forward to the rest of our lives together. It was very sweet

I didn't say anything about the verbal abuse/physical intimidation at the counseling meeting. The chaplain already knew about it and I think he kept expecting me to say something, but it was such a fight to get DH there I wasn't willing to do or say anything that would chase him out the door. I want the air to start clear for a few sessions and "hook" DH in before we started getting into deep stuff, because the chaplain said a few times he thought we needed professional counseling and I think if it comes up too soon he might stop coming to any counseling. The chaplain gave us a book to read which goes over a lot of fundamental communication issues, personality types, and how to repair broken marriages. I think in us reading the book and talking over things with the chaplain that the abuse will naturally come up, and that feels like a better route to deal with it. DH is going out of town next week though, and I think I'm going to go back to the chaplain for a little while to chat about this and how things are going so far.
At this point I would say there is a good chance we'll make it. The 'dream' persay of a lifelong wonderful marriage entices me in a way I can't explain (maybe I want to be prepared for a different sort of marriage with God?) and DH has so many good qualities if we can just push these toxic things out of our lives. But I know we can't just do it on our own; we need help. Counseling and God's. On top of everything now, I feel we owe it to Mia to give it the good fight - I won't accept a half-effort from either of us. Hence fighting for 5 hours to come to one counseling session. It was worth standing my ground and it brought us a good deal closer than we've been in a while.
Sorry this is a bit long for the chit chat board! But thank you for asking

[Sakura]

We are dedicating Mia at church on Sunday! I am very excited for that!

I'd like to see the Babies movie, too, but I think I'll end up renting it.

[KC's wifey]

Jenn - Good for you for fighting for you marriage! Marriage is amazing, and such a blessing, but it is HARD. (Hence the really high divorce rates, even within Christianity). Praying God gives you strength, wisdom, and grace to put your relationship back on track. You are doing great!

[caligirl07]

Jenn, glad to hear your up for the fight! Still praying for you guys.
I want to see babies too, but we are doing the dave ramsey plan... so no money in the entertainment envelope! but hey according to him we'll be millionairs one day... so I'll wait!

dh and I are going to make pizza from scratch with Tristyn on mothers day and he's doing the dishes! I love pizza so it works for me! Bummer part is he has to work during the day, so Im bummed that the girls and I will go to church without him...

[Fallenstar80]

So if you missed my post in venting my sister is getting a divorce. He husband has left for good. I could just kick the jerk. As soon as the judge oks it she will be moving back to California with my parents.

[ayles]

So if you missed my post in venting my sister is getting a divorce. He husband has left for good. I could just kick the jerk. As soon as the judge oks it she will be moving back to California with my parents.

I'm sorry; I'll be praying for her peace. Divorce is a difficult process. I'm glad she has her family's support.

[ayles]

My day has been so strange!

It looks like I won't be able to go watch Babies this weekend afterall because the church cashed our tithes check leaving us with a few dollars until DH gets paid on Wed. I am a bit disappointed but God has a better plan for me and I am thankful that while the last two weeks we were negative in our a/c without rent paid this week we have paid our rent and have a few extra dollars in the account.

I was praying about meals to prepare with the little we have in our fridge until Wed and I was able to figure out something until tomorrow and then was thinking we'll "worry" about tomorrow when tomorrow comes cause tomorrow isn't even promised so I'm not going to waste today worrying about tomorrow. This evening our landlord came up and invited us to the bbq she was having for her coworkers so we ate dinner with them which means we have meals covered until Saturday now.

Our Father certainly knows what we need, when we need it, and He is faithful to supply. PRAISE HIM.

[KC's wifey]

Katie - Pizza! Yummmm!!Sounds like fun!

Mary - She and her kids are in my prayers. I hope Cali will be a better place for them. I know that the circumstances surrounding the move are not good, but I'm sure you and your parents will enjoy having her and the kids closer.

Ayles - Gosh, I can so related. We went through not knowing if we would have enough food to last until the next check also. Have you checked out WIC or anything? We were only on it for 3 months, but it REALLY helped us get through that extremely tough time.

[Sakura]

So if you missed my post in venting my sister is getting a divorce. He husband has left for good. I could just kick the jerk. As soon as the judge oks it she will be moving back to California with my parents.

I hate divorce.

[ayles]

Polly~We had WIC when I was pregnant but I kinda didn't follow up with my appointments after he was born because I can't drink regular milk or eat cheese because Adriel has a dairy allergy and it was a really limited amount in terms of other things. I did apply for foodstamps but they denied me because I'm not a citizen. Funny how that wasn't an issue when I was working and had to pay taxes just like a citizen would have to but I am not eligible for government benefits

[ayles]

Soooooooooooooo the theater that's showing Babies is showing it next Wednesday night at 9pm and DH gets paid that morning so he says we can go then and what's crazy is that it would have normally been $9 instead of the $6 that the Mother's Day viewing was but Wednesdays it's $6 for everyone regardless of the show/time The only thing is it won't be the special lighting/sound that the "Mommy and Me" show will have but I'm expecting Adriel to fall asleep while nursing and it doesn't seem like this movie would be too loud anyway. I'm excited and thankful that while God always supplies our needs He also blesses us with wants from time to time too ;)

[Fallenstar80]

Soooooooooooooo the theater that's showing Babies is showing it next Wednesday night at 9pm and DH gets paid that morning so he says we can go then and what's crazy is that it would have normally been $9 instead of the $6 that the Mother's Day viewing was but Wednesdays it's $6 for everyone regardless of the show/time The only thing is it won't be the special lighting/sound that the "Mommy and Me" show will have but I'm expecting Adriel to fall asleep while nursing and it doesn't seem like this movie would be too loud anyway. I'm excited and thankful that while God always supplies our needs He also blesses us with wants from time to time too ;)

Just made pizza dough from scratch. Wish I knew how easy this was 5 years ago!

[CDWard]

Polly~We had WIC when I was pregnant but I kinda didn't follow up with my appointments after he was born because I can't drink regular milk or eat cheese because Adriel has a dairy allergy and it was a really limited amount in terms of other things. I did apply for foodstamps but they denied me because I'm not a citizen. Funny how that wasn't an issue when I was working and had to pay taxes just like a citizen would have to but I am not eligible for government benefits

Aren't you a citizen now after getting married? I'm not very schooled in such matters but I thought that you would be now.

[ayles]

Aren't you a citizen now after getting married? I'm not very schooled in such matters but I thought that you would be now.

I have to be a resident for 5 years or married to a US Citizen for 3 years to be eligible. I'll be a resident for 5 years this October so I can apply then.

[CDWard]

I have to be a resident for 5 years or married to a US Citizen for 3 years to be eligible. I'll be a resident for 5 years this October so I can apply then.

Hmmm, honestly can say I didn't know that. I thought that once you got married to a resident then you were considered one as well. I learn something new every day!! October is 5 months away though. Can DH ask for food stamps??

[Sakura]

Can DH ask for food stamps??

I was thinking this, too. Any little bit can help.

[ayles]

Hmmm, honestly can say I didn't know that. I thought that once you got married to a resident then you were considered one as well. I learn something new every day!! October is 5 months away though. Can DH ask for food stamps??

I was thinking this, too. Any little bit can help.

He did but he got denied because they didn't send him the paperwork and then closed the case. DHS is really iffy in Michigan at least. When I was working in the non-profit field I had to advocate for my clients constantly because they are always on a power trip and treat their clients horribly. I was thinking of appealing the denial letter but honestly it's so draining to keep going to them and them rejecting us for no apparent reason. I'll continue to pray about it though and see what the Lord says.

[Sakura]

He did but he got denied because they didn't send him the paperwork and then closed the case. DHS is really iffy in Michigan at least. When I was working in the non-profit field I had to advocate for my clients constantly because they are always on a power trip and treat their clients horribly. I was thinking of appealing the denial letter but honestly it's so draining to keep going to them and them rejecting us for no apparent reason. I'll continue to pray about it though and see what the Lord says.

There's a lot of things that are iffy about the government in MI.

Ooops! Did I say that out loud?

[Consensus]

Wow Ayles that has to be so frustrating. But if anyone can get through this you can The level of faith in God you have really struck me when you introduced yourself in the December due dates room last year. I hope one day to be so vigilant and faithful.

[ayles]

Wow Ayles that has to be so frustrating. But if anyone can get through this you can The level of faith in God you have really struck me when you introduced yourself in the December due dates room last year. I hope one day to be so vigilant and faithful.

Thanks for the encouragement Jenn

[KC's wifey]

One week left! My family will finally be together again!

DH got his care package yesterday. Lily sent her first artwork - her hand and foot print with "I you Daddy" on it, and the movie Avatar (the movie we went to for our only date night since Lily was born). Can't wait for more date nights!
He really loved it, especially Lily's art. Which is great, since he has been feeling so down lately. I'm glad it cheered him up.

[caligirl07]

One week left! My family will finally be together again!

DH got his care package yesterday. Lily sent her first artwork - her hand and foot print with "I you Daddy" on it, and the movie Avatar (the movie we went to for our only date night since Lily was born). Can't wait for more date nights!
He really loved it, especially Lily's art. Which is great, since he has been feeling so down lately. I'm glad it cheered him up.

How cute!

I have to say... I hate mothers day... maybe because I don't have my mom anymore... or maybe because dh is one of those "your not my mom" guys... and he has to work (every one since I've been a mom)... I don't know... but I do know that I don't love the day...

[ayles]

How cute!

I have to say... I hate mothers day... maybe because I don't have my mom anymore... or maybe because dh is one of those "your not my mom" guys... and he has to work (every one since I've been a mom)... I don't know... but I do know that I don't love the day...

Awww I'm sorry

[Sakura]

One week left! My family will finally be together again!

DH got his care package yesterday. Lily sent her first artwork - her hand and foot print with "I you Daddy" on it, and the movie Avatar (the movie we went to for our only date night since Lily was born). Can't wait for more date nights!
He really loved it, especially Lily's art. Which is great, since he has been feeling so down lately. I'm glad it cheered him up.

I have to say... I hate mothers day... maybe because I don't have my mom anymore... or maybe because dh is one of those "your not my mom" guys... and he has to work (every one since I've been a mom)... I don't know... but I do know that I don't love the day...

[caligirl07]

oh my gosh! I had to come back online tonight!!! Dh totally bought flowers and ice cream for mothers day! Seriously first time ever! Im thrilled!

[Fallenstar80]

So far not happy with Mother's Day and it is not DH's fault!!!! So I am now playing therapist for my sister. It is starting to depress me. I know she needs someone to talk to, but it is just making me fee really guilty for being happy in my marriage. Then DH and DS take me to this restaurant for a late lunch. First off it is pricier than I was expecting. Then the only thing I want is a breakfast item and they stopped serving breakfast 2 hours before we got there. Then our waiter was just bleh. Not really friendly, not very helpful, and not really good at his job. He didn't make any suggestions or ask if I wanted any suggestions. So I just got this small thing of marinated veggies and ate some of DH's fries. Then we are walking around and some punks are smoking pot on the street. Seriously????? Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! So my Mother's Day lunch was a bust. I was happy to spend time with DH and DS, but those other factors just put a huge damper on things.

[Sakura]

oh my gosh! I had to come back online tonight!!! Dh totally bought flowers and ice cream for mothers day! Seriously first time ever! Im thrilled!

So far not happy with Mother's Day and it is not DH's fault!!!! So I am now playing therapist for my sister. It is starting to depress me. I know she needs someone to talk to, but it is just making me fee really guilty for being happy in my marriage. Then DH and DS take me to this restaurant for a late lunch. First off it is pricier than I was expecting. Then the only thing I want is a breakfast item and they stopped serving breakfast 2 hours before we got there. Then our waiter was just bleh. Not really friendly, not very helpful, and not really good at his job. He didn't make any suggestions or ask if I wanted any suggestions. So I just got this small thing of marinated veggies and ate some of DH's fries. Then we are walking around and some punks are smoking pot on the street. Seriously????? Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! So my Mother's Day lunch was a bust. I was happy to spend time with DH and DS, but those other factors just put a huge damper on things.

[ayles]

oh my gosh! I had to come back online tonight!!! Dh totally bought flowers and ice cream for mothers day! Seriously first time ever! Im thrilled!

PRAISE GOD! He knows what we need ;)

[ayles]

So far not happy with Mother's Day and it is not DH's fault!!!! So I am now playing therapist for my sister. It is starting to depress me. I know she needs someone to talk to, but it is just making me fee really guilty for being happy in my marriage. Then DH and DS take me to this restaurant for a late lunch. First off it is pricier than I was expecting. Then the only thing I want is a breakfast item and they stopped serving breakfast 2 hours before we got there. Then our waiter was just bleh. Not really friendly, not very helpful, and not really good at his job. He didn't make any suggestions or ask if I wanted any suggestions. So I just got this small thing of marinated veggies and ate some of DH's fries. Then we are walking around and some punks are smoking pot on the street. Seriously????? Ugh!!!!!!!!!!! So my Mother's Day lunch was a bust. I was happy to spend time with DH and DS, but those other factors just put a huge damper on things.