Chit Chat....

[ayles]

Thank you ladies

I am working on a paper for school. It is so amazing how powerful prayer is. I have to summarize this article in 1500 words and you need to read it to know what I mean when I say it all looks like gibberish. The language is so wordy and technical; more than any article I've read in my entire four years of being in grad school. Anyway I almost cried last night while trying to decipher it and then took a minute to pray and seek God and I'm over 1000 words now and have no clue how I got here or what I've written except by the Holy Spirit's wisdom and words. And I know it's Him because I couldn't tell you what I've written He is so faithful! I have to encourage myself with 1 Thess 24 "The One who has called you is faithful and He will do it" when I feel overwhelmed with the work load because God has called me ot be a Christian marriage therapist and He will be faithful to do exactly that for and in my life. Praise God!

Brenda~That is very sweet of your Mom. I am continually praying for your health and strength No particular plans for Val day yet but my Dh bought these love notes/coupons from Family Christian the other day and left a coupon on my pillow the night before for a massage and a note about how wonderful of a wife/friend I am on the dining table yesterday So I am expecting a few more over the course of the next few weeks ;)

[Sakura]

Anyone have plans for V day????

Not really. We've never done much for Valentine's Day. We'll probably get heart shaped donuts from Krispy Kreme.

[caligirl07]

No particular plans for Val day yet but my Dh bought these love notes/coupons from Family Christian the other day and left a coupon on my pillow the night before for a massage and a note about how wonderful of a wife/friend I am on the dining table yesterday So I am expecting a few more over the course of the next few weeks ;)

super sweet!

[caligirl07]

Not really. We've never done much for Valentine's Day. We'll probably get heart shaped donuts from Krispy Kreme.

we dont' do much either, actually we usually hang out with the girls and dh brings home a heart shaped pizza then takes us for ice cream! We've never really been v-day people... love our bi weekly dates though!

[KC's wifey]

My DH has plans for V-day, but he is not letting me in on them yet. But he is taking Sunday and Monday off, which is awesome! That means he can actually come to church with us! And we are meeting with my friend and her husband (she is my team interpreter at church) after service and hanging out with them. I'm super excited about that, first because they are just awesome people. And second because KC doesn't have many friends here yet, and I think he will really click with them. I think having some good Christian friends to fellowship with would really be an encouragement to him.

On a totally unrelated note, I've been reading my friend's blog lately (same friend). She is incredibly gifted in language and expression. Its ridiculous. No wonder she is such an exquisite interpreter. But I read her blog and, no joke, I had to open a dictionary tab right next to it. I don't know anyone else who can use "platitudinous" without sounding pretentious. And that is just one example.

I think I need to sign up for the Word of The Day.

[Fallenstar80]

Nothing. My guess is DH will have to work late.

[pants]

Brenda~That is very sweet of your Mom. I am continually praying for your health and strength No particular plans for Val day yet but my Dh bought these love notes/coupons from Family Christian the other day and left a coupon on my pillow the night before for a massage and a note about how wonderful of a wife/friend I am on the dining table yesterday So I am expecting a few more over the course of the next few weeks ;)

Thanks....the prayers help! So far i've been feeling pretty good for a prego woman.

That's sweet about DH.........I have to find those coupons. Sounds like something i'd like to put in DH lunch box every day.

Our church is hosting a Valentines banquet this year with free child care. We plan on going to it. The speaker is a guest speaker from a christian camp in the NC mountains called "the wilds-http://www.wilds.org/". Our church sends our teens and youth there for teen and junior camp but Rudy and I enjoy going to the couples and family camps there too!! So we are looking forward to the speaker. We usually don't do anything really big for V day....just usually cards and something fun for each other.

[mrsbabyhead]

Hi ladies. Does anyone have good Christian books/websites about depression or other mental illness?

[Sakura]

Hi ladies. Does anyone have good Christian books/websites about depression or other mental illness?

Not that I can think of.

I think that Paul David Tripp is a Christian counselor type of person. I think he's written books on counseling, but I've never read them.

[Fallenstar80]

http://www.elysefitzpatrick.com/

She is awesome. She spoke at my church last year and is coming back this year. I highly recommend her books.

[pants]

Hi ladies. Does anyone have good Christian books/websites about depression or other mental illness?

Do you want a book that say you can use to counsel someone else with? Kinda like how to equip youself to counsel??? Or do you want a book to hand to the person that is needing the counseling???

If it's the former then really anythign from Jay E. Adams is a great resource to always have. You have to remember, as a christian, counseling is always seen and done through the eyes of scripture. The man made labels of depression and/or any other mental illness are tricky because if they are truely biologically based then they would be observable through testing of the body either through hormone levels or through nutrition levels. (ID PPD after birth or lack of vitamin D being linked to sadness feelings and depression). The rest of lifes issues are usually needing to be sort through via either a direct sin by that person OR an event in life like the loss of family and how to overcome and how scripture tells us to respond to those events. Some are both biological and heart issues (my parents have all of there depression/suicide counseling cases get complete bloodwork done just to make sure the person is not out of balance physically too) Like with depression needing to be directed on what true HOPE is. Depression=the lack of hope. Things like that. So you will not get manual that is like the DSM4/5...You will get books that help you see the counselor through the eyes of scripture and how to help them overcome their own heart issues or the destructive sinful heart of another individual. KWIM?

Anyhow if you are the counselor then this book is awesome to have!! (By the way Alyes if your reading this is a must for a christian counselor to keep on hand )

The Christian Counselor's Manual by Jay E Adams (the sister book to Competent to counsel by the same author)


If its the later then there are many different books based on individual topics that are good. But they should be coupled with a neuthetic/bible counselor to help keep you accountable and make sure your thinking and reading is on the right track.

Here are a few books on just depression that are highly recommended. Especially the second one.
When Will My Life Not Suck?
Authentic Hope for the Disillusioned by Gary Chapman

and

Depression: A Stubborn Darkness-Edward Welch

[mrsbabyhead]

Thanks for the book recommendations, pants, and the website url, Fallenstar80!

I have serious depression and anxiety. It is usually well controlled. Recently it has gotten much worse. I don't have a thyroid so my hormones are hard to regulate and cause some problems. Because of my upbringing and some of the things that happened to me, I have some neurological damage which cause the mood disorder and treatment resistant depression.

I know what you mean, pants, about needing to look at a physical basis verses life/spiritual basis of depression. Mine is biologically based but life situations can make it worse (if that makes sense). I really feel called to get back into the Bible and rely on my faith to help me through this. I'm on some medications which help tremendously and my psychiatrist recently added a medication. IMO God made smart people who made drugs to help people, and they have saved my life (literally). But I think I need to add God therapy too. I used to see an AWESOME Christian counselor who used biblical and Jesus based therapy. I've moved though, and so I don't currently have the support and guidance of a Christian counselor. But I am using some of her readings and scriptures on Jesus as healer and His miracles of healing...I just need more help. Money is very tight and so I was trying to do some reading on my own at this point rather than going to a therapist (Christian or otherwise).

Sorry for the book. Thanks for reading this long rambling post! And thanks for the suggestions ladies. I very much appreciate them. They mean more to me than I can adequately explain.

[pants]

I have serious depression and anxiety. It is usually well controlled. Recently it has gotten much worse. I don't have a thyroid so my hormones are hard to regulate and cause some problems. Because of my upbringing and some of the things that happened to me, I have some neurological damage which cause the mood disorder and treatment resistant depression.

I know what you mean, pants, about needing to look at a physical basis verses life/spiritual basis of depression. Mine is biologically based but life situations can make it worse (if that makes sense). I really feel called to get back into the Bible and rely on my faith to help me through this. I'm on some medications which help tremendously and my psychiatrist recently added a medication. IMO God made smart people who made drugs to help people, and they have saved my life (literally). But I think I need to add God therapy too. I used to see an AWESOME Christian counselor who used biblical and Jesus based therapy. I've moved though, and so I don't currently have the support and guidance of a Christian counselor. But I am using some of her readings and scriptures on Jesus as healer and His miracles of healing...I just need more help. Money is very tight and so I was trying to do some reading on my own at this point rather than going to a therapist (Christian or otherwise).

Sorry for the book. Thanks for reading this long rambling post! And thanks for the suggestions ladies. I very much appreciate them. They mean more to me than I can adequately explain.

A good CHristian counselor will always work with people who have imbalances biolocially. Scripture does deal with those. THink Paul and how he asked God to remove the thorn in his flesh (which we have no idea what it was, could it have been a mental illness??? who knows)..but God said no my Grace is sufficient. You can live a Godly and Christ honoring happy life in the midst of our physical bodies breaking down. I understand the tyroid issue and that can be hard. But at least you know where some of the source is. How did the psychiatrist test you for mood disorder and deem it untreatable?? Usually mood disorder is not tested in modern psych work. And I know it's not a term used in biblical counseling. But in the psych world IT's usually deemed untreatable after attempts of medication fail. Which honestly isn't a good "test". Just kinda curious on that one. Your situation is unique to you I understand that but I don't want you to be set up for failure. KWIM. Modern psych actuall though wanting to treat does set someone up for failure. The word "disease" and "illness" alone are hopeless terms that can be very discouraging. Though you have to live with certain physical issues you CAN overcome depression. Which in your case seems to have flared up again with the hard situation you are going through with your spouse. Let me PM you something.

[Consensus]

A book I'm reading now which I'm enjoying is "Emotionally healthy Spirituality". His introduction focuses on the fact that we can be spiritually 'mature', doing all the right things that we are told to do as Christian's, while remaining tied to our past and not really living our lives any differently than before we were Christians. He talks about our development as Christians as not being an overnight process, and the dark times that we have to overcome as we grow.

I don't find his experience translates 100% into my own, so I have taken the book as a guide to look introspectively and look to understand how my past makes me who I am today.
http://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-He...6743700&sr=8-1

I hope you find peace and resolution, and pray that you feel His presence cleave to you as you struggle through this

[mrsbabyhead]

A good CHristian counselor will always work with people who have imbalances biolocially. Scripture does deal with those. THink Paul and how he asked God to remove the thorn in his flesh (which we have no idea what it was, could it have been a mental illness??? who knows)..but God said no my Grace is sufficient. You can live a Godly and Christ honoring happy life in the midst of our physical bodies breaking down. I understand the tyroid issue and that can be hard. But at least you know where some of the source is. How did the psychiatrist test you for mood disorder and deem it untreatable?? Usually mood disorder is not tested in modern psych work. And I know it's not a term used in biblical counseling. But in the psych world IT's usually deemed untreatable after attempts of medication fail. Which honestly isn't a good "test". Just kinda curious on that one. Your situation is unique to you I understand that but I don't want you to be set up for failure. KWIM.

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I am a hopeless case! I just know (believe?) that my illness is the result of biological causes rather than some spiritual shortcoming. My doctors don't say the depression/mood disorder is untreatable. On the contrary, my doctors have always been very positive about it. It is very treatable with medicine and through coping mechanisms. Keeping spiritually healthy does help control the depression that is biologically caused. Does that make sense?

Just like a diabetic sometimes has problems with their sugar even when they have good control over it, I sometimes have problems with the depression. Illness, stress, and other factors out of the diabetic's control can make his sugar get too high; same with me. And just like a diabetic, I just have to take extra medicine, watch what I eat and do, pray, and keep hope that it will even out eventually.

It's keeping my faith that yes, this storm is temporary and God will get me through that is difficult for me. I need someone to help me keep my eyes on the Lord and remind me that despite all the chemical processes going right or wrong in my head, He is constant and will never fail me.

Sorry, I've hijacked the chit chat thread.

[Sakura]

Sorry, I've hijacked the chit chat thread.

Totally fine; that's what it's for.

[pants]

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that I am a hopeless case! I just know (believe?) that my illness is the result of biological causes rather than some spiritual shortcoming. My doctors don't say the depression/mood disorder is untreatable. On the contrary, my doctors have always been very positive about it. It is very treatable with medicine and through coping mechanisms. Keeping spiritually healthy does help control the depression that is biologically caused. Does that make sense?

Just like a diabetic sometimes has problems with their sugar even when they have good control over it, I sometimes have problems with the depression. Illness, stress, and other factors out of the diabetic's control can make his sugar get too high; same with me. And just like a diabetic, I just have to take extra medicine, watch what I eat and do, pray, and keep hope that it will even out eventually.

It's keeping my faith that yes, this storm is temporary and God will get me through that is difficult for me. I need someone to help me keep my eyes on the Lord and remind me that despite all the chemical processes going right or wrong in my head, He is constant and will never fail me.

Sorry, I've hijacked the chit chat thread.

Oh no I didn't think you were a hopeless case!! LOL...quite the contrary!!! I just know from my psych background and then training in bible counseling as well as my husbands psych degree and both of my parents are trained in bible counseling and psych that non-biblical psych can leave someone to believe they have something that they can't truely have victory over. Or that the something they have is only resolved through medication..which kinda means you'll never have victory over that. I just wanted to encourage you that you CAN have victory. You already have victory over death and that's through Christ!!! So your already on the right track.

I did ask my mom if she had some resources and she does have a few resource in their counseling library, small pamphelets and stuff on depression and an interesting one titled "blame it on the brain" which deals with the biblical approach to dealing with mental disorders and how to view them through the eyes of scripture. I can mail them to you if you want to PM me your address.

You can hijack away...that's what chit chat is all about!

[pants]

ummmmmmmm I made home made chocolate covered pretzel sticks....and i'm now on my 5th one!!!!!!! someone please tell me to stop!!!! I'm addicted to choc covered pretzels.......ahhhhhhhhhh

[Fallenstar80]

ummmmmmmm I made home made chocolate covered pretzel sticks....and i'm now on my 5th one!!!!!!! someone please tell me to stop!!!! I'm addicted to choc covered pretzels.......ahhhhhhhhhh

STOP!!!! I will send you my address and you can send the rest to me!!!!! I should totally make those.

I just decided this week that I am going to attempt to make fondu for my family for valentine's day. I bought some at Trader Joe's for our anniversary and DS loved it!

[Sakura]

Oooh, I love fondue. I'm considering having a fondue party sometime before spring.

[mrsbabyhead]

OM Gosh! I have a fondue pot that we got for a wedding gift that I forgot about! I think I need to try chocolate fondue soon...

[pants]

Oooh, I love fondue. I'm considering having a fondue party sometime before spring.

OH I AM!!!! We have a "core" group of friends we call "the 8 of us"...well i'm having a couples only Valentine dinner at our place in two weeks. The desert will be strawberry's and banana's to be dipped in chocolate fondue...I have a fondue maker!!! And we'll play a clean version of the newlywed game. Anyone of you ladies want to join??? Your welcome

[ayles]

OH I AM!!!! We have a "core" group of friends we call "the 8 of us"...well i'm having a couples only Valentine dinner at our place in two weeks. The desert will be strawberry's and banana's to be dipped in chocolate fondue...I have a fondue maker!!! And we'll play a clean version of the newlywed game. Anyone of you ladies want to join??? Your welcome

That sounds like fun. I wish I could be there really miss face to face fellowship and especially miss having one or two close sisters who I can regularly fellowship with. We have a few friends from church who we seem to hit it off very well with and we were hanging out a lot before the new year but then ever since we haven't spent any time together. Have fun!

[ayles]

Shannon~This devotional reminded me of your last few posts. I pray you find it encouraging; it was to me as I am in a similar season right now:


February 4, 2011

Coming Out of the Dark

Mary Southerland


Today's Truth
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" (Psalm 40:1,NIV).

Friend To Friend
Patience is not my greatest virtue. I do not like to wait - for anyone or anything - which is precisely why you should never get in line behind me at the grocery store. It doesn't matter if there are two people or ten people in front of me, my line will invariably be the slowest line. I do not like to wait on God either ... but was forced to do so when I found myself sitting at the bottom of a pit called clinical depression. I was empty and more tired than I had ever been in my life. I kept asking, "How did I get here?"

Depression is not an overnight phenomenon. I can honestly say that I don't know a single person who has climbed out of bed in the morning and said, "Hmmm ... I think I will jump into the pit of depression today." Deliverance from that pit is usually not an overnight process either. It takes time and patience.

1. Wait. The psalmist simply says, "I waited." Waiting is not passive. Waiting is meant to be a time of preparation, a time of rest and healing,

To wait means to accept the pit. Isaiah 45:3 (NIV) "I will give you hidden treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

Any time "LORD" is capitalized in Scripture, it means "Abba Father." This verse indicates that our Father has gone before us and in every dark moment or painful circumstance has buried a treasure or stored a secret. The only way we can find the treasure or learn the secret is to pass through that darkness. Some things cannot be learned in the light. To wait means to accept the pit, knowing it is for our good.

To wait means to admit there is a problem. Isaiah 40:29 (NLT) "He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak."
Emotional health begins at the point of emotional integrity with a willingness to say "I need help!" When clinical depression overwhelmed my life, my husband was the pastor of a large church in South Florida. We could choose to be transparent and real or we could sweep my struggle under the rug. We concluded that in order to be right, we had to be real. Dan and I shared my battle with the staff, the deacons and then with the entire church. Yes, we took a risk but learned an important lesson in doing so. A shared load is a lighter load. We were created to need each other.

To wait means to be still. Psalm 40:1 "I waited ..." To wait means to hope in and look for someone or something who will rescue us.
So much about God can never be known on the run. I was so wrapped up in serving God that I had failed to be wrapped up in Him. During those two years in the pit, I not only gave up every role of leadership, there were many times when I could not even attend church because of panic attacks. God taught me an important truth. He is more concerned with who I am than what I do. No one can take my place in His heart.

2. Be patient. It took twenty-two years for the McDonald's hamburger chain to make its first billion dollars. It took IBM forty-six years and Xerox sixty-three years to make their first billion. Harvey Mackay, in his book Swim with the Sharks, tells of an interview with the 88-year-old President of Japan's largest and most successful electrical enterprise. The interview went as follows:

Question: Mr. President, does your company have long-range goals?

Answer: "Yes."

Question: "How long are your long-range goals?"

Answer: "Two hundred and fifty years."

Question: "What do you need to carry them out?"

Answer: "Patience."

David said, "I waited patiently for the Lord." The word "patiently" means "without tiring and with perseverance." It took me many years to hit rock bottom. It took me two years to climb out of that pit and I am still climbing. Yes, I still battle depression from time to time. Depression keeps me broken and on my face before God - and that is a good thing.

Depression may not be the problem you are facing, but at some point in life, we will all face some kind of pit. It may be a pit that we have dug with our own hands of wrong choices or it could be a pit that has been uniquely designed for us by the enemy. But a pit is a pit - a place of paralyzing fear and numbing doubt that is constantly fed by our human frailty and desperate attempts to escape the darkness.

The good news is that God is drawn to broken people. Psalm 40:1 says "He turned to me." Notice it does not say that David turned to God. Honestly, I doubt David had the strength to turn to God ... so God turned to him. God heard the cry of David and he will hear yours. I don't know if you are in a pit and need help or if someone you love is in that pit and needs your help, but one thing I do know is that the purpose of the pit is to purify and then restore. Right now, surrender the broken pieces of your life to God. He can and will bring you out of the dark.

Let's Pray

Father, I am so tired. I can't hear Your voice or sense Your presence in my life. My faith is weak and I need Your strength to go on. Right now, I am laying the broken pieces of my life at Your feet and counting on You to come through for me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read Psalm 40:1-3. "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

Circle all of the "action" words in these verses. What does God ask you to do? What does God say that He will do? Do you believe Him? Are you willing to let Him be God in your life?

More From The Girlfriends
If you or someone you love is dealing with depression, I encourage you to check out these FREE resources on my website. My book, Hope in the Midst of Depression, is a practical guide for anyone dealing with depression and will help you learn how t

· Change a negative thought life into positive, healthy thought patterns.

· Control and use the power of emotions to avoid erratic mood swings.

· Enjoy better relationships by establishing replenishing friendships and managing draining ones.

- Re-set priorities to have a more balanced life

[mrsbabyhead]

ayles, I really needed to hear this, especially today, right now, this second. Thank you for being a blessing to me.

[Sakura]

OH I AM!!!! We have a "core" group of friends we call "the 8 of us"...well i'm having a couples only Valentine dinner at our place in two weeks. The desert will be strawberry's and banana's to be dipped in chocolate fondue...I have a fondue maker!!! And we'll play a clean version of the newlywed game. Anyone of you ladies want to join??? Your welcome

Oh, I'd love to come! That's be quite a drive, though. Both my sis and I have fondue pots and mini-crocks. My fam used to make pizza fondue frequently. Yummy.

[Sakura]

I think I'm 95% settled on the curriculum I'm going to use next year with ds. Whew! We're going to do the Sonlight P4/5 with kindergarten readers and language arts. I'm really really excited about it. (We've been doing My Father's World kindergarten and I'm not super impressed. It's decent, but I'm fairly bored and would like a little more for ds.)

[caligirl07]

Brenda, now Im hungry! Too bad we live on opposite sides of the country, I'd totally come!

Shannon, been thinking of you mama!

Amanda, I have to check out the Sonlight stuff, we decided to pull T out of preschool next fall and focus on homeschool full time. There just isn't enough academic focus and she is seeming sort of board there...

[Sakura]

A big downside of Sonlight is that it is one of the more expensive ones. But the vast majority of the materials are reusuable, so that makes it easier to swallow.

[caligirl07]

A big downside of Sonlight is that it is one of the more expensive ones. But the vast majority of the materials are reusuable, so that makes it easier to swallow.

We are lucky we have a resource non profit here, started by a great friend from church, she houses a big homeschool curriculum library, so its awesome I can go check stuff like this out. She has sonlight listed as one of the things housed.... so I just need to see if its the kinder stuff...


Whens Nathans bday? Is he old enough for kinder in the fall? Tristyn technically wouldn't be till 2012 (feb bday she's 4 this month), and I wouldn't send her to a traditional classroom right now, but she is defiantly ahead of preschool...