Hi every one my name is mary31 dont know if you remember me, ilost a baby in april 2008, well im back, my sister lost a baby the same day 3 years later than me she is so depressed.
The first time I got pg (3 years of STC, IUI+injectables) we told EVERYONE and then m/c'd at 10wks. So of course we had to tell everyone that we lost our babies. I finally got pg again in May (IUI+injectables again), and went to my SIL's graduation and had a huge family weekend with DH's family. He said that we shouldn't tell anyone that I'm pg again because if we lose it then it will start to become what everyone thinks about my SIL's 3 divorces, that everyone will know that I m/c'd again and roll their eyes just like they do when my SIL gets engaged. And then I went on to m/c the next week. Really? Miscarriage is the same as divorce and is something that people will roll their eyes at? I know that is how he feels about her divorces, I guess that's how he feels about my pgs and m/cs?
My last mc was may and natural..still horrible because I saw the two little blips on the u/s..,my DBF said well with all your other mcs why does this one matter.. Still reeling from it...our babies are our babies...I feel so alone with it but just don't ever speak about any of them.. This page helped me tonight to finally feel the sadness and know others experience tho horrible occurrence too... Blessings to you all...
Response 2) well at least this one is healthy, wasn't your only other live one in the NICU for a couple months
Response 3) The stare- the one that says what's wrong with you while say " we'll this will be a healthy boy"
Uughhhh...reading that reminded how little they all made me feel...
I want to give my in-laws benefit of the doubt, but sometimes it is so hard. Thus far, my SIL offered to be a surrogate for me, even though the loss of our baby had nothing to do with me, my abillity to carry the baby or anything I had done - the ambilical cord was wrapped too tightly and stopped blood flow - a freak incident. Then, my MIL asked me if we were going to try again - keep in mind we lost our daughter just 2 months ago. I said we were undecided and okay with that. She then said to me that if it were her, she would try again (she never had a pregnancy loss - good for her, not so good for the side of empathy). Then went on to say, I guess it just depends on how bad you want a baby.
Really? OMG - I was just like, you have no idea how much we wanted our daughter. For whatever reason, this just isn't working out for us, and I don't know if we can take another late loss. And then she said it again - it comes down to how much you want a baby. <SMH>
I hate the "how many pgs have you had" question...it always generates stupid responses...health care providers should know better !
I think one of the most stupefying things I've ever had happen was when the nurse strapped the fetal monitor on me when I was induced with my 19wk loss . I asked her why I needed it and she said it was "standard procedure"...my dr came in and told the nurse to remove it immediately. It was torture laying there strapped with nothing but deafening silence from the monitor .
I just (not even a week ago) lost my baby girl (Pipper May) and some of the things people have said to me are just soooo hurtful.
A girl i work with told me its a good thing i lost her cuz i am just to young to have a baby.
How is it ever a good thing to lose a child? I kn ow i am young but that doesnt mean i dont have a heart! or that i didnt love my Baby girl any less.
Hugs to all of you out there haveing to deal with the loss and the pain of other people not understanding.
My friend told me yesterday that its life you learn from your mistakes...I had an ectopic pregnancy at 6 weeks and had my left fallopian tube removed as well. She has 2 kids and she does porn videos and untasteful modeling. I'm not wanting to sound *****y or jealous cause I'm not. But she doesn't know who the father of her second child is...15 guys possible and that was during the week she was ovulating... one of the 15 being my ex boyfriend and at that time him and I were dating...how sad and pathetic...and I needed to learn from my "mistake" my BABY was not a mistake...I could have punched her in the face