I've seen a lot of these types of threads in other rooms (STC, bfing, etc). I figure it would be a good thread to start here. For any new preemie moms or moms that aren't as far into their preemie journey.
Moms can post here things they had wished they'd known about the NICU, or about preemie care at home.
I'll start, but my list is pretty short.
1: Don't put too much importance on your due date. Some babies leave the NICU weeks before, some leave right near it, and some won't leave for weeks after their due date.
2: Doctors and nurses are trained to know what isn't 'right' or what looks wrong in babies. But NOBODY will notice the little details of your little one like you will. If you think anything looks wrong or even just "different" than it used to be speak up, and don't be afraid to keep asking until you get an answer that feels right.
3: When it is time to be discharged from the hospital without you baby, you may want to leave, that doesn't make you a bad mom and that doesn't change your love for your baby.
4: There will be days when you don't want to go to the hospital and there will be times when you want to leave the hospital rather quickly. Just like above, that doesn't make you a bad mom, and doesn't change your love for your baby.
5: If there is ever a nurse that you don't feel comfortable leaving you baby in their care, feel free to let the charge nurse know you don't want that nurse to take care of you baby. That nurse will never know, and it won't be held against you. It is important that you feel good about the care your baby is getting.
6: Just because your baby is alive, doesn't mean you didn't experience a form of "pregnancy loss." You lost the last months/weeks of your pregnancy, and it is okay for you to mourn your pregnancy loss.
7: No matter how traumatic or horrible the birth or your baby was it doesn't change the fact that an amazing little person has come into your world to change your life forever. It is okay to celebrate your baby's birth; in fact I recommend it.
8: Most people will quickly tell you not to feel guilty, because there wasn't anything you could do. But I say it is ok to feel guilty, as long as you know it isn't your fault. Knowing and feeling are different.
That is all I have for now. Please add to the list!