Our renfest is in a wooded area so it's pretty shady! (in a good way)
That sounds like a great service, Chrissy.
Thanks for all the advice, guys.
At the moment, with DH not working, he would be daycare so that would be a big help. When he gets a job, we'd add the expense of daycare but also have his salary coming in, which we didn't before. And, my mom lives in the same city so we have her for a back-up when necessary. But I know it's a huge and scary expense and I have thought about it. We'll worry about that when it comes along. I did not think of the expense of breastfeeding supplements and supplies, though, so I'm glad you guys pointed that out to me.
I love the Ren fair! I haven't gone in a few years but I always have a great time when I go.
Our biggest baby expense is daycare by far. I've been extremely lucky and have no problems BFing, so my only costs for that were a pump and storage bags. We cloth diaper and buy a lot used or watch for the coupon codes where you get a free diaper if you spend X dollars. We got a lot of things secondhand, from clothes to gadgets. And I'm starting to re-sell some things on craigslist now that Asher is growing out of things. We aren't sure if we will have a third.
Good luck today, Kate!
I also had a pretty easy time of it bfing, and the only expenses were the pump and bags, etc. We had a diaper service that was comparable/a little less than buying diapers so we could cloth diaper without having to wash them. It was really convenient except that last time when I left the bag full of dirty diapers on the back porch and they never picked them up because they went out of business. Other than that, it was great!
Just went for a run and it felt really great - I love running pre-dawn. It is so much easier on my body, which hates the sun. Except I am so scared someone is going to jump out of the bushes at me that it kind of negates the great feeling. Glad I have a big black dog to run with. It is weird being all done with one of the most important parts of my day before the sun is up!
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
Good luck today, Kate!!
Good luck Kate!!
I didn't have much expense at all with both kids initially, I bought both a crib for less than $100 which included the mattress. Elle's I got from Ikea and Ky's from Kmart. It is interesting to me because people I knew when Ky was a baby kept going on and on about having a drop side crib for him but I couldn't afford that and his crib, which just had 2 levels was only $69 plus $19.99 for the mattress. Looking back I'm kind of glad I didn't buy one since they now are known hazards.
Elle's crib was $79.99 from Ikea. The Sniglar and she still sleeps in it as it converts to a toddler bed. I didn't buy anything else for her except a carseat and I'm like Chrissy and don't believe in brand names for car seats, especially since they all have to meet national safety requirements anyway. Both kids had Cosco Scenera's. Elle is still in hers even though I may get her a better seat soon, but it has lasted for over 3 years so I got my $50 worth.
I CDd Elle and only used prefolds and covers, nothing fancy so it was very inexpensive. I think I spent $50 total for the prefolds and covers which I got from a WAHM online. I didn't buy a lot of equipment for her like swings and such because I know that not all babies like them so I waited until she was born and tried a swing. She didn't like it. She did have a bouncy chair but it was given to us by a relative. Same relative gave her 3 huge boxes of name brand/designer clothes/shoes so I didn't have to buy her any outfits for 2 years due to that. I do buy her clothes now but I am a deal searcher, plus I shop for kid clothes at second hand shops. Last time I bought her 12 pairs of pants, 12 shirts, and 2 dresses for $30. I frequently buy her socks since it seems our dryer eats them or something but they are pretty cheap.
I agree that daycare is the biggest expense. I actually stayed home with both my kids for their infancy to save money on daycare since it costs more for infants to go to daycare and because I just didn't trust anyone to watch my baby. Elle stayed home with me for 2 years, Ky for 16 months. Luckily our daycare is nowhere near the price that L pays in the bay area. I have heard daycare out west is much more expensive. I only pay $400 a month for Elle's daycare and it includes all meals. It is an in-home facility though but I actually like them better since Elle is pretty reserved in big groups, at least she used to be she is much more open now, but she thrived in her small setting. She did tell me she wanted to go to a bigger school though next year so I am looking at putting her into a Montessori program, which will raise our childcare expenses to $720 a month. I also still have to pay for summer care for Ky but he goes to the Boys and Girls Club of America, which is only $35 per year for afterschool care and $150 for the whole summer so it is a good deal. He also goes there during winter and spring breaks and the $35 covers those too.
Last edited by Ky'sMom; 03-19-2012 at 06:44 AM.
Thanks guys. This morning was quiet because the troublemaker wasn't with us. The two boys we did pick up seemed to get along pretty well. They were talking about Walking Dead and the Hunger Games and I was like hey! I want to talk about this stuff! LOL But I didn't really feel comfortable trying to be friendly to the kids yet. I'm not sure which angle to take yet, if I should not try to talk to them at all or if I should try to get to know them a little so that if I have to speak to them or write them up at some point it might be from a friendlier standpoint than if I hadn't really talked with them at all before.
That sounds like a fantastic program!! Our WIC office does a peer counseling program that I hope to join for at least the summer this year, I would to help another mama out.
Kate, my neighbor's 14 year old and friends are often surprised that I actually get some of their references. Yes, they roll their eyes too. I think that nice and pleasant will probably do for now, and you can start talking once you get to know each other a little better.
We spent a lot of time at the playground yesterday, and there was one girl there, I'd say about 10, who was "different". Lots of ritualized behaviors, repetitive behaviors, unaware of the people/kids around her, not aware that her actions were impacting the other kids (she'd stomp on the stuff they were building in the sand pit). Most of the other kids were completely oblivious to her until she messed with what they were doing, and even then, it was a 'Hey, what'd you do that for?'. One kid got a little upset, and I just told him that it was okay, she wasn't really aware of what she was doing.
Mira was easily the youngest one there, and she seemed really puzzled by her, more so than any of the older kids. She watched for a long time, and asked me several times why the girl was doing what she was doing. I wasn't quite sure how to answer that. Then she started imitating her, and I just gently reminded her to go back to her work, and to use her words (she was humming, grunting, etc.). Don't really know the right way to handle this, honestly. I want her to be kind and considerate of the differently able, but she's a little too young for an actual talk on the subject.
Last edited by Suja; 03-19-2012 at 09:00 AM.
Two expenses I forgot about: daycare and the crib. I completely blanked on the crib because we bought one for $300 and NEVER.USED.IT. B slept between us the first 4 months in a cosleeper box with rigid wooden sides. Then he moved to a bedside bassinets before moving into our bed then into his own mattress on the floor (Molly's idea). Daycare wasn't an expense because I stayed home with B for 2 yrs. L was right that the first day you try leaving your child in a daycare situation to return to work is one of the saddest days for a mom. I couldn't even look at a pic of B on the job because I would start to cry.
Last edited by demigraf; 03-19-2012 at 10:22 AM.
Speaking of the crib, I thought I'd share some Monday morning yuks - photos Steve got of me the afternoon he struggled for 3 hrs to put together the crib. He was in such a foul mood from the confusing directions, that I started dancing around to make him laugh. I haven't shared these in awhile since the Belly Pic thread in our DD room:
I agree that the crib we bought was pretty useless. We did end up sidecarring it for a bit, but it was really big for that purpose.
For me, I always thought I would breastfeed but I had major supply issues, probably due to scarring from surgery. I tried supplements and pumped for 3 months before going 100% to formula. That really hurt me emotionally, and financially it's a huge expense if you don't count on it. The only thing I can say is that it's really hard to know how much a baby will cost you... there are great circumstances that happen that make new-parenthood relatively inexpensive, like family (free) childcare, breastfeeding and cloth diapering (on the cheap not fancy side), co-sleeping and making your own baby food or bed-led weaning, etc. But the big things that cost people you usually can't predict: the emergency room visit when your newborn is sick or childcare arrangements falling through or the carseats not fitting in your sub-compact car, necessitating a new car purchase. Those things jump out at you.
For me, the big expense was something Myles mentioned, I was really unable to leave Abbey and when I had to go back to work when she was 8 weeks old, it was nearly impossible for me. I started to have major anxiety and depression and both DH and I saw that the situation wouldn't hold. Considering I had a pretty successful and fortuitous career, it wasn't any small event. After a transfer moved us to Texas, I became a SAHM, which obviously wasn't something we expected, but I'm extremely happy about being home with Abbey. Before I had her, I never thought that would be true.
Haha, a new car. Yeah that expense is going to be a biggie. I had planned on keeping my car until it died. It's only a 2007, not even 50K in miles AND we went and paid extra for a lifetime warranty that covers most things except things like tires, batteries. Plus the car has been paid off for a couple of years. And now we are planning on using that to go towards a minivan and will mostly likely have a car payment again.
I can fit two dogs in my car, or one dog and a baby...but don't think it will work to have a baby, both dogs and all luggage/gear for when we go to visit our families....it's a five hour drive.
Healthcare is another expense for me. My work has an employee plus one plan that I use now but I will have to up it to the family plan.
I haven't priced out formula or diapers. I'm kind of ignoring that.
Mandy, really I think for us the biggest expense in having a baby (at least the first year or two) is just GETTING one in the first place.
Most of the rest just depends on what we want. I could buy a less expensive car seat but I want the one I want. I didn't need the nursery decor but again that was what I wanted.
I could get away with just a crib for furniture in the nursery as I already have a dresser in there....but DH doesn't want to stick with that color wood. So I'm going to be buying a crib, changing table AND dresser.....the dresser and changing table will be from Ikea but DH didn't like the crib. We're kind of picky on how stuff looks in our house. But again it's back to our wants and not needs. I am only planning to do this once and want to have fun with it as much as I can.
One tip on formula. Buy generic. It's the same thing, because it is regulated in the same way, and you don't pay for the brand name. Mira was on the Target generic for Similac Sensitive. They also have them for Enfamil. Actually, I still use infant formula for her from time to time, because when she gets into a cold-cough-puke cycle, I don't want her drinking milk. Puke is bad. Milky puke is For diapers, we use Amazon Mom, and do Subscribe and Save. That used to save 30%; now it saves 20%. Wipes, we use the Kirkland brand from Costco.
A little more Monday levity for you...
I'm working out of the satellite office today that houses much of the R&D and architecture people. They're the real brain trust when it comes to figuring out how to build the crazy things we come up with. We're talking folks who can keep 19 whiteboards worth of flow diagram in their heads at all times and instantly recall the details. And so why on earth would they feel the need to post this instructional sign in every stall in the bathrooms?
I think of all my daughter's good qualities, their strongest is their acceptance of people for who they are without any expectations of them to be anything except nice. Jesi & Bobbie especially have no tolerance for judgmental people. I like to think I had something to do with that, but they were always really good girls and I can't ever remember them being mean to anyone-not even when they were little. They might have ended up that way without any influence from me.
So, I'm home sick. I didn't get sick until I made it to work though and had to throw up in my garbage can under my desk. It was first thing, so I was able to hop my county bus after he dropped everyone off on campus and circled back around to downtown Ithaca. I'm glad I thought to bring a garbage bag with me. I must have thrown up twice on the way home. Embarrassing.
Chrissy! Hope you feel better soon.
My grandmother probably still has her little embroidered poem in her bathroom, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat." She had that as long as I can remember.
Our foreign psychiatrists were horrible about peeing all over the seat at the mental health clinic I worked at. It was definitely a cultural thing. I think they aimed for the seat, and they didn't raise it either.