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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #29551
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    Good morning!

    Holy Cow....it's supposed to be 80 degrees today. It's mid-March. Normal highs this time of year are 41 and we often have some of the biggest snow storms of the year. Instead we have been in the 70's all week and probably a of next week.

    Mandy if lining continues to be an issue (but hopefully this is the last cycle trying!)....ask the RE about maybe trying Femera instead of clomid.

    Yesterday we had the hidden fence guy over. Think that we are going to go ahead and install one. We like the professional one has a ton of settings, which we felt on ourselves, comes with a lifetime warranty and guarantee and he will help us train the girls. he did a demo with Poogie and I was amazed at how quickly she picked up on it. It will be so nice to let her run around the yard and get that puppy energy gone.....and hopefully chase Cosmo so she loses some weight. A little more expensive than I had hoped but worth it to keep them out of the street or going off after some critter in the field.

    Kate, how's Bo doing? Is he sleeping at night now?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I haven't had much to offer in advice about the bedtime issues. My kids must be freaks of nature as they have never given me any fuss about sleeping. I think they got the lazy gene from dh and me. The only rough patch we had was when we switched Travis to a big boy bed. It took nearly 2 months for him to get used to it.

    Myles, don't feel too guilty. We all lose our cool at some point with our kids. This whole parenting thing is not easy.

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    Bo is good! He doesn't bark at night anymore. We are still having problems between him and the cats but that is gradually getting better too. He doesn't bark at them as much anymore but one of them pretty much lives under the bed and the other one lives in our bedroom closet. We let Bo come upstairs once in a while and it's kind of funny to watch him run back and forth from the bed to the closet. The one under the bed hisses, he runs to the closet, that one growls, rinse and repeat.

    I got a trainer recommendation from our vet and I called her the other day and left a message but she hasn't called back. She does in-home training. I hope to get some ideas from her about handling him with the cats and also teach him some basic commands like down and stay. He does sit pretty well already.

  4. #29554
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Myles, I'm so sorry you had such a rough time. I was spanked as a child, and I can tell you that I think that there is a correct way to do it, and the way you described is it - dispassionate, not in anger, fair, and with fair warning. Done that way, the child is choosing that consequence, and I can tell you based on what happened with me that I *always* knew that I deserved it. My dad still tells this story about how he tried to comfort me after I got spanked, and I said something along the lines of "I know I deserved it. Mom is only doing it because she loves me. I don't need you to console me".
    I don't know that I ever felt exactly like that, but it was similar for me too. My father was a spanker, but like me & Rich, it wasn't often. I might have gotten 1/2 a dozen or so spankings in my life. All but 1 time I knew very well what I was doing was a 'spankable' offense and did it any way. There was only 1 time that I was spanked because a playmate lied about what I'd done and my dad didn't believe me. It was horrible. I'm paranoid of ever doing that, but I also don't want to be the parent that always thinks their child is perfect and can do no wrong. It's a hard balance when you don't witness what transpired. Not that I'd spank based on someone else's say-so...I'd never do it because of my own experience with that.

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I am seeing the recurring suggestion of next time leaving the room and redirecting. The good news is, I think can see ways in which that might work. It's at least something to try. I wouldn't have that response in my arsenal if I hadn't talked to you ladies, so that was worth the price of admission today.
    Here's hoping!

    We just got back from Rich's grandfather's funeral. I didn't even see my father in law and his wife, but they were there. Surprisingly, Rich's stepmother did say hi and say that we should get together some time, but his dad didn't even say hi to him.

    Beyond that, I was a mess. I cried and cried. When Rich & I were broke up all those years ago and I had Bobbie and Jesi (as babies) I'd stop in and visit grandma and grandpa Seymour every Wednesday. They were so good to me. They were the only ones on my daughter's paternal side of the family that remained close to me during that period. Uncle Bob gave the Eulogy (and he does well, even though it's religious). He said of his father that he was the kind of man that didn't say "Do as I say, not as I do." He just did it and led by example. The quiet type that went to work, provided for his kids, and loved his wife. He was also in the Battle of Okinawa, which I didn't know. The 21 Gun Salute is when I started crying, and I barely stopped.

    I've had enough of my share of funerals since December. People better start getting married and having babies. I want some joyful family get-togethers.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #29555
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Thank you, Mandy. Those are really good examples and a great framework to look at, especially using the bedtime example. In that context, would you think of doing anything about throwing the light? Or would you just tell him that it is not okay to throw things and continue on as normal?
    A real ABA expert, which I am not, would have included in that example I gave above to teach a replacement behavior that is more effective than the behavior you don't want to see. I haven't give this example too much thought, so I'm sure there's a better one, but I would likely tell him throwing is not okay, and model something that he could say instead, such as "I feel angry because..." Then acknowledge his feelings, and continue with the routine. Although my first emotional reaction would absolutely have been to give a "consequence" for throwing the light.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    DH is looking at bills today and asked me out of the blue how much per month you spend on a baby. I told him much of it is the up front costs such as a car seat, since breast feeding won't cost anything. Whether we would cloth diaper or not is up in the air at this point, as we both like the idea of it but don't know that we would be great with all that laundry. Car seat of course, and we will have a crib. I know there are threads that discuss what to buy/finances for a baby, but I'm not sure which ones. Someone point me in the right direction - or we can just discuss in here.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    One thing that I do with Travis is when I can see that he is getting angry with something, I've told him to put his hands in to fists and say "oomph!" to let out the anger. I've seen him do it unprompted as well, so I know it's working a bit with him. Most of the time, though, he just shouts and bawls when he's really angry.

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    Mandy I applaud you for bfing but I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you might want to budget for things like bfing classes, a lactation consultant, nursing pads and whatever other accessories. And budget for formula in case the bfing doesn't work out.

    I'm only saying this because I assumed bfing would come naturally and it didn't and I still hold a big amount of guilt for not being better prepared. I can only try to help someone else be better prepared.

  9. #29559
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    No, you're right of course. My sister tried to bf her first and had to stop because of her daughter's dairy allergy. She didn't try at all with her second. I remember her telling me I would never be able to bf because I was born with a milk allergy myself so my kids would certainly have one too so I couldn't bf. It makes me sad because I see so many mamas today who change their diet and continue to bf their kids in that situation and I have to say it's made me a little extra motivated to make it work. Her daughter is 17, though, so I guess that was a different time.

    But you're right, there are plenty of reasons why it might not work for me and I will remember that it might not be an option.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    A real ABA expert, which I am not, would have included in that example I gave above to teach a replacement behavior that is more effective than the behavior you don't want to see. I haven't give this example too much thought, so I'm sure there's a better one, but I would likely tell him throwing is not okay, and model something that he could say instead, such as "I feel angry because..." Then acknowledge his feelings, and continue with the routine. Although my first emotional reaction would absolutely have been to give a "consequence" for throwing the light.
    These ideas are all fine and good, but there are some kids (like Conner) that appear not to hear a word they say once they're to that stage. I know we can rarely change the course of his outbursts because they almost always happen suddenly and without any premonition that they're going to happen. The other night he threw his milk cup because I put it on the wrong side of his plate. Trying to talk, discuss, or calm him from then on is a no-go. He simply WILL NOT engage.

    I can't speak for other kids. I just know how Conner is. One tap on the ass, however, and he'll be quiet and then we can talk. I'm not saying spanking is right because it certainly doesn't feel that way. I just know there are moments when that really is the only trick that will work. And we're seriously just talking about one little pop on the butt.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    No, you're right of course. My sister tried to bf her first and had to stop because of her daughter's dairy allergy. She didn't try at all with her second. I remember her telling me I would never be able to bf because I was born with a milk allergy myself so my kids would certainly have one too so I couldn't bf. It makes me sad because I see so many mamas today who change their diet and continue to bf their kids in that situation and I have to say it's made me a little extra motivated to make it work. Her daughter is 17, though, so I guess that was a different time.

    But you're right, there are plenty of reasons why it might not work for me and I will remember that it might not be an option.
    The biggest difference is the internet wasn't a household thing. If you weren't close to people that were knowledgeable, there was no place to go. My WIC office is very pro-breastfeeding so I was lucky. They had free lactation consultants, however all my kids nursed like they were pros from birth. If I had had problems, I knew they were there because they were very encouraging to breastfeed, to the point where bottle feeding mamas complained. For the mamas that weren't eligible for WIC though, I don't know what they would have done. And I've heard that not all WIC offices are pro-breastfeeding around the country, which is sad.

    It's a gorgeous day here. I had the windows down and my Dirty Dancing sound track blaring. I even got out at one store and danced a bit just to tease my kids-who were sufficiently horrified!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #29561

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post


    We just got back from Rich's grandfather's funeral. I didn't even see my father in law and his wife, but they were there. Surprisingly, Rich's stepmother did say hi and say that we should get together some time, but his dad didn't even say hi to him.

    Beyond that, I was a mess. I cried and cried. When Rich & I were broke up all those years ago and I had Bobbie and Jesi (as babies) I'd stop in and visit grandma and grandpa Seymour every Wednesday. They were so good to me. They were the only ones on my daughter's paternal side of the family that remained close to me during that period. Uncle Bob gave the Eulogy (and he does well, even though it's religious). He said of his father that he was the kind of man that didn't say "Do as I say, not as I do." He just did it and led by example. The quiet type that went to work, provided for his kids, and loved his wife. He was also in the Battle of Okinawa, which I didn't know. The 21 Gun Salute is when I started crying, and I barely stopped.

    I've had enough of my share of funerals since December. People better start getting married and having babies. I want some joyful family get-togethers.
    , chrissy. You have had more than your share of heartache, PERIOD. That amount of crying is very exhausting, I know. So I hope you're getting some time to rest and recover.

    Mandy, I think your major expenses in the first year are car seat(s) ($100-$350), diapering supplies (we did cloth, so the biggest expense was up front, and we then made up for the cost over the 2nd/3rd years), and feeding supplies which, as Kate said, could come in the form of formula or lactation support/tools. You could also end up investing minorly in things like carriers, monitors, bouncies, swings, strollers, binkies (we should have bought stock in MAMs), baby bath products. You can do it cheaply (secondhand items and garage sales) or you could do the $300 bamboo high-chair and $1000 "travel system". There is no shortage of companies out there willing to part a parent from his/her money for a baby gadget.

    Honestly, I don't think I spent more than $1000 on Bodhi in the first year, including medical expenses. The unexpected expenses are mostly the ones where you come across things that are adorable for your sweet baby and have to make the splurge. Ooops, oh yeah, and we had 1 ER visit that set us back nearly $2k. That, of course, depends on your insurance.

    Ashley, I got a kick out of imagining travis curl his little fists into balls, shouting "oomff!". I'll bet he's adorable when he does that.

    OK, I'm getting some work done (on a Saturday. Boo!) while B naps. Back to it...
    Last edited by demigraf; 03-17-2012 at 03:40 PM.

  12. #29562
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    , chrissy. You have had more than your share of heartache, PERIOD. That amount of crying is very exhausting, I know. So I hope you're getting some time to rest and recover.
    Thanks. As you know, there's no rest for the wicked. I went shopping like normal, but it is such a nice (unseasonably so) day out I couldn't help but have my mood lifted a little. The sun was out, we were in shorts, our windows were down, the radio blaring, and we were singing. This was me, my mom, Bobbie and Sydney. I even 'danced' in the car to Footloose. Later, Rich, Bobbie, Sydney and I made a macaroni salad together (our first of the year!) and Rich is currently cooking hamburgers and hotdogs over an open fire outside. I think he's actually using wood too.

    I've been up and down a lot all day. I'm tired and hoping to take a nap in my recliner after I eat like the old fart I'm quickly becoming. I haven't been sleeping well again...this has been going on for a few weeks. I am also having a very difficult time remembering to take my antidepressants. If I remember at all, it's usually just once a day. Lately, I'm even forgetting that. I'm thinking about stopping them altogether because it's just not working out.

    I know this is all over...I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I cannot make myself make sense.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I don't have too much time to post, but just wanted to say that I hope everyone is having a great weekend!!

    Many Chrissy, he sounds like he was a wonderful man!

    Were going to the Renaissance Festival tomorrow and I am stoked We don't get out of the house much so this is a big deal Won't be staying long because we will have Nolan, but hopefully the weather is nice and we can enjoy ourselves!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #29564

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    Took J to see The Secret World of Arriety today - it was really sweet. Another one that I think I enjoyed more than she did (if you haven't seen Arthur Christmas, see it!). And I loved their little house! I wanted to go home and decorate JoJo's room just like Arriety's room, with oversized flowers and leaves everywhere. I won't, of course, but still! I loved that kind of story when I was little.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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    Chrissy, I was forgetting my thyroid meds several times a week, and physiologically my body can't function without them. I ended up setting an alarm on my cell phone that goes off about 5 minutes before I have to leave for work. I started that a few months ago, and I've only skipped one pill since I did that. It made a big difference for me, and having the meds consistently made me feel a lot better.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Chrissy, I was forgetting my thyroid meds several times a week, and physiologically my body can't function without them. I ended up setting an alarm on my cell phone that goes off about 5 minutes before I have to leave for work. I started that a few months ago, and I've only skipped one pill since I did that. It made a big difference for me, and having the meds consistently made me feel a lot better.
    I do think about doing that...but at times like now when I'm so tired I don't feel like getting to my phone and playing with it. I will though, I have to. Things are so bad here today between me and Rich that I'm convinced we're over. I cannot do this any more. I won't.

    Sadly, poor Syd is upset and she screamed at me for treating her dad like an idiot. I wish this house weren't so small. The kids don't need to be in the middle of it. Conner came outside and gave me a big hug and said he loved me. He's 5 and trying to comfort his mother.

    There were a number of issues with Rich and I today, but the final straw for me was over a stupid YouTube video. I was trying to be supportive/thoughtful because his grandfather's memorial was today and one of the things I did was post a Youtube video on FB and tagged Rich in it (The Judds, Grandpa song). Rich has complained for weeks that a lot of youtube videos won't play on his phone and I've told him and told him that many aren't posted in mobile compatibility mode. It's not his phone. He has a laptop he can watch them on. The one I posted today happened to be one, but I didn't know it. He saw the post when I was out grocery shoppping and when the video didn't play, he threw the phone far down into the neighbor's back yard. Then he b!tched at me about it later. I can't take this.

    I know this one little thing doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's been getting progressively worse over several weeks. Today it was one episode after another. I'm done.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I'm glad JoJo liked Arrietty! We didn't see Arthur Christmas. We'll have to add that to Netflix or look for it in the library when it comes out.
    Arrietty is based on The Borrowers which is a childrens chapter book. I don't remember much about it but if you think JoJo might like it you should check it out.

    I'm at my dad's house. He was totally surprised when I showed up (I came to go out to dinner with him and my stepmom for his 65th birthday) I did end up getting that wine decanter and he likes it.

    Hugs Chrissy Sorry things are bad there today.

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    Chrissy, I'm sorry. I understand why you feel that way.

    Kate, I'm glad your Dad was happy and surprised to see you.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Mandy, there is a book called Baby Bargains which is excellent for reviews of products, and being honest about what to spend money on: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188...Q7JWR376N08XGH. Oh, although I breastfed Mira for 14 months or so, the entire thing was a huge struggle, and I must've spent a small fortune on lotions and potions to keep my supply up. On top of buying formula.

    Chrissy. You've had too many curveballs thrown at you lately.

    Can I say how much I hate this time change nonsense? It makes the kid's already bad sleep pattern worse (late to bed, early to rise, cranky all day), and now she has a cold (which I also despise), which equals 8 or 10 wakeups a night. I can't wait for her to be old enough where this stuff doesn't bother her so much, or I can tell her to not be such a baby about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I don't have too much time to post, but just wanted to say that I hope everyone is having a great weekend!!

    Many Chrissy, he sounds like he was a wonderful man!

    Were going to the Renaissance Festival tomorrow and I am stoked We don't get out of the house much so this is a big deal Won't be staying long because we will have Nolan, but hopefully the weather is nice and we can enjoy ourselves!

    Jealous! There's a big ren fest that comes around here, but not until summer.

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    Awww Chrissy. But please don't stop the meds until you talk to someone. Maybe a different one is needed or it just needs a little more time.

    Mandy, so far I have spent around $300 for the nursery decor. Not necessary but I wanted it anyway. I also spent $46 for a pack n play...great sale at amazon and I had some amazon money from my credit card.....I charge basically everything I can to get the rewards and than get stuff from amazon. Right now I'm saving up points for this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...=ATVPDKIKX0DER
    Crib will be 150-200 probably plus the mattress. I will likely get a changing table from Ikea for 69 and probably a dresser there too. Paint for the baby room will be done, I forget I think that room is about $40 to paint.

    I will register for things like little bouncy seats and expect to get a decent amount of clothes at a shower. I don't think that we will do a shower though until baby is home with us so we will for sure know gender. I figure for now as long as I have a car seat and pack n play, I can get baby home and put it somewhere to sleep.

    When I thought I might have more than one, I thought about cloth but with one kid, I'm pretty sure that we will not bother with that. And I will definitely be feeding formula. I will probably only take 6 weeks of leave and the whole process is too complicated for breastfeeding in adoption. Plus we don't have custody of our baby until 3-5 weeks old.

    The biggest expense I can think of would be daycare. We are hoping to get away with not using it since we work opposite shifts and hopefully MIL will be here to help out, if not right away maybe by toddler stage.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I hope you have fun Christina! You sound like Rich & I...we almost never went out until the kids were much older. And even now, we don't go very often. I think it makes the times when you do 'get away' much more special.

    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Mandy, there is a book called Baby Bargains which is excellent for reviews of products, and being honest about what to spend money on: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188...Q7JWR376N08XGH. Oh, although I breastfed Mira for 14 months or so, the entire thing was a huge struggle, and I must've spent a small fortune on lotions and potions to keep my supply up. On top of buying formula.

    Chrissy. You've had too many curveballs thrown at you lately.

    Can I say how much I hate this time change nonsense? It makes the kid's already bad sleep pattern worse (late to bed, early to rise, cranky all day), and now she has a cold (which I also despise), which equals 8 or 10 wakeups a night. I can't wait for her to be old enough where this stuff doesn't bother her so much, or I can tell her to not be such a baby about it.
    bwahahaha!

    It'll happen at some point. My girls don't really say anything to me any more when they're sick, except to ask for medication and if they can stay home from school. Jesi will say, "Ugh, I have a cold" and that's about it. Now that I think about it, I'm really lucky because when I'm sick I'm a freaking baby. I'm glad the girls don't take after me in this.

    Mandy, in my experience it cost more with your first. There's the excitement of having a new baby, but also a little concern or paranoia that you have to have such and such. Don't forget-you'll have a baby shower (or 2) so if you register for things you want/need, you may not have to buy them. People are usually very generous for those things, especially if it's your first.

    By the time I had Conner, my list of 'had to haves' was quite a bit different than the one I had for Bobbie. Mine were:

    -Car seat (less than $100, but name brand isn't a big deal for me)
    -Diapers
    -28 changes of clothes (sleepers and onsies)
    -7 'going out' outfits
    -Baby carrier (bought one from Diva on here--what's her user name? Gosh I'm horrible. I've kept that and plan on using it for my grandbabies. I love it that much)


    We did buy a small portable crib for Conner but didn't use it. We also got a free crib that he barely used. I have video of him jumping in it at about 1 year. I didn't buy any soaps/lotions/baby wash clothes or towels because I got an abundance of them at his baby shower. The same for receiving blankets. I didn't need a baby changing table because I'm comfortable changing on the couch. You'll want a mat to protect the baby from germs at the public changing stations and your couch or bed at home, but most diaper bags come with them now (and again, I got like 7 diaper bags for my baby showers so I didn't need to buy any). I did buy a 'hunting bag' with Conner's name on it before he was born. It's made by a sahm on the internet and is really nice. He's 5 and still uses it to go to Grandma's house every day. It's Mossy Oak pattern

    I did buy some stuff later-like the jogging stroller. I didn't need it right away, but by the time he was 5 months I had one. I've used every style stroller out there and imo a jogging stroller is the best. I wish I'd had one for all my kids. You can take it anywhere! The tires will go through gravel without struggle and have good suspension so the baby doesn't get woken up by cracks/bumps in the sidewalk.

    Anyway, what I'm getting at is that the list of 'necessities' is really quite small. You will be given baby bottles at your shower too, even if you plan on breastfeeding. If you know what style you want, you may want to register for those but I'd advice trying 3-4 different types because each of my own kids did better with a different one. Parental comfort/affordability goes right out the window when your little one is getting too much air or just simply refuses to suck a particular nipple. I breast fed 4-6 months with Jesi, Syd and Conner, but still had bottles on hand for them.

    I can't wait for you and Jen to be expecting your babies. I have plans.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I you guys. Really, I do.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I couldn't love y'all more if we lived in the same neighborhood and hung out all the time.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I you guys. Really, I do.

    Me too.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Mandy, childcare is the single biggest expense for me. Car seats are one-time purchases, and can be done fairly economically. Diapers are ongoing and can be more or less expensive, but they're also spread out and are a little easier to budget for. Cloth diapers can be super cheap, especially if you are willing to buy used. Despite ER visits and stuff, I pay hardly anything for those because I have low co-pays and I also do health care deductions through work. I don't pay much for clothes and supplies because I tend to get used clothes in bulk from APA moms (I will buy a box of a year's worth of clothes for two kids for $50) and go to multiples sales around here (open to the public, also) and stock up on clothes for $2-$5 per item.

    Most of my equipment after the first year I bought used or got from the loaner library because I realized how quickly they outgrew things and how silly it was for me to be constantly making purchases of things they might not be interested in or would no longer need in a few months. For example, the twins hated bouncers, but loved swings. I quickly traded my useless bouncer for a second swing, and everyone was happy. Baby S. hated swings and bouncers, but when he was in the midst of his colic phase I didn't know that, and wanted to try everything, so I got one of each to try out (futilely).

    I spend $2330 per month on childcare, and that is getting off easy around here, since I'm using my mom for a good part of it and I'm only working 3 days a week. AZ is less expensive than the Bay Area, but it's not cheap. You can save by using in-home daycares, not having as many children, compromising on some work hours vs childcare hours or maybe switching hours around with dh, but remember any hours you give up means less retirement income as well. Next year, when the twins start kindergarten, I don't think I will be able to decrease my childcare expenses at all. They may even increase, despite not having twins in preschool or a baby in preschool yet. I will still pay my mom to watch Baby S, and I will need to pay for aftercare at school, because it gets out at 2:30, and I will need to pay for it for five days a week because my schedule is not set for the same work days every week. I MAY need to pay for a college student to come take them to school on my work days because my mom doesn't drive them and my dh has to leave for work before they have to be at school. And then I have to figure out something to do with them during summer vacations, Spring break, and Christmas break, and all of the random days they just don't have school because they have planning days.

    Of course, you will have another six years to start figuring that stuff out. But daycare alone is probably the single biggest expense you will face as a new mom, and leaving your baby at daycare will be one of the biggest heartbreaks, until you get used to it. Having a job that is demanding and utilizes your talents helps a lot, though. I think it helps to create a good balance to enjoy your work and feel like you're making a difference, and I get that feeling from you, so no matter how difficult it is at the beginning, it helps a bit to feel like you're doing meaningful work at your job. For me, no matter how difficult or demanding my job is, it's still different enough from my home life that it feels like a bit of a vacation. People mostly listen to me there, and there isn't as much yelling. I feel very appreciated.


  27. #29577
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    Ouch L! The most I paid for daycare was $1500/month! That was only during summer vacation though.

    I forgot about swings and bouncers. All my kids loved the swing. Bouncers weren't around for my girls, but Conner had one of those as well and loved his. They can be bought 2nd hand though for $25-50 bucks. And again, if you register for it you may end up with one at a baby shower. Utilize your shower(s)!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #29578

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I couldn't love y'all more if we lived in the same neighborhood and hung out all the time.
    Yeah, you'd probably get sick of us if that were the case. ;)

  29. #29579
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I hope you have fun Christina! You sound like Rich & I...we almost never went out until the kids were much older. And even now, we don't go very often. I think it makes the times when you do 'get away' much more special.

    It really does. It's so nice when we do get to go out! DH basically has 2 jobs these days and than with my work/school work it is really really hard for us to just go somewhere for even a couple of hours... It's really depressing

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Jealous! There's a big ren fest that comes around here, but not until summer.
    Awesome! We try to go every year!!

    We had alot of fun at the Festival. I was wearing Nolan in the Moby and I think I had the people there make 20million jokes about having a growth It was really (and I mean really) hot, so we only stayed about 3hrs. There is NO shade anywhere in the whole festival and it's just too much for Nolan to be out in the direct sun like that, plus he was fairly unimpressed with all the people trying to talk to him

    Daycare is without a doubt the biggest expense when it comes to having the baby. And like Suja, as was BF'ing unfortunately. I spent so much money (and time) on supplements and pumping supplies that it probably ended up costing the equivalent of FF'ing without a doubt. CD'ing can be really cheap if your ok with used (I know some people aren't), but it can also get pretty pricey depending on your preferences. The laundry isn't too bad IMO. I mean with an LO your constantly doing laundry anyways, so whats an extra load

    Being out in the sun today just drained me. I'm tired and want to Veg, but alas Cost Accounting awaits me....

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  30. #29580
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    It's too bad services vary state-to-state so much. I know in my area, Stay Healthy (Where I used to work actually) has a breast pump rental program (free for low income families). They supply brand new hoses & such too so there's no worry about a used pump. They only rent out the Medella (sp?) pumps and they keep them maintained, so if yours stops working you just bring it in to exchange it. They also have a free lactation consultant available as well as RNs for general questions (most common, should I go to the ER for this?). They weigh new born babies too (all services are free) so if you're breastfeeding it's easy to stop in and do a weight check.

    Really, I think Stay Healthy should be all across the country. It's an awesome program. They don't just deal with mamas and babies either. The Nurse Direct line is free for any New York State resident (they will not answer questions for people calling from out of state due to licensing issues).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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