Molly would she react to you being disappointed instead of mad? It would give you something to work with that would affect her and yet allow you to remain calm and not have to yell.
I suggest this because this is what my MIL told me worked on DH. Nothing else really worked, timeouts, yelling, taking things away....but a quiet calm, I'm disappointed in your behavior or I'm disappointed in whatever he did....worked like a charm. He was just really sensitive to his mom's feelings. Conversely she also praised him and made sure to tell him how proud she was of good behavior.
Still works on him today. We were fighting Sunday and I was yelling...didn't work all that great. Later on when we were talking I said I was really disappointed in him for over-reacting (dog related...both girls were naughty that day) and that I knew he could have done it better. That hit him and he was like, you are so right and I'm so sorry. I will try to do better.