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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #28531
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    Oh, and we've ignored for months (a solid year?) at a time without mentioning it at all. That didn't even work.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #28532
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    Chrissy, I almost wonder if you should try counseling or something for the PT. It seems like it is more of a mental/emotional resistance than a physical problem.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I agree. It sounds like a big issue, whatever it is.

  4. #28534
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    That sounds incredibly frustrating, Chrissy. Have you tried letting him poop while wearing his diaper and sitting on the potty? I know some kids just hate the void and possible splash underneath them, and that may help narrow down the problem--if he can sit down and go while wearing the pull-up or diaper, then it's not the actual place or scenario, but maybe that he needs something there and not the cold wet bowl underneath. Maybe then you can figure out the next step.

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    I am having a non-weekend glass of wine and feeling much screamed-upon. Bleh. Although I did a nice q-tip dot paint project and bath with glow sticks with all three of them afterward and they were fine. I'm just so mentally exhausted from all of the shrieking. I wonder if it's some residual illness, or if this is terrible twos. He denies feeling bad. Just says he's mad.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 03-02-2012 at 03:27 PM.


  5. #28535
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    His dr said there's nothing physical. When I mentioned going to counseling he didn't think it was that big of a deal. But he's a very 'hippie' like dr in that he believes kids will go when they're ready. I fully believed in that...last year. It also could be a power struggle thing with him, although I don't see how because we really did ignore it and try to wait it out for months. If we ever brought it up at all, it was conversational and without any pressure or expectation involved.

    The most likely scenario is that it's his way of getting individual attention. Not that he doesn't, but with everything his sisters have been through in the last 14 months or so, I'm sure he's felt the stress from that. It breaks my heart because I really tried to shield and protect him as much as possible. But he lives here...there was no escaping it.

    I have brought it up with my therapist already and at some point family counseling will probably be a reality. I'm not sure when...

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #28536
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    That sounds incredibly frustrating, Chrissy. Have you tried letting him poop while wearing his diaper and sitting on the potty? I know some kids just hate the void and possible splash underneath them, and that may help narrow down the problem--if he can sit down and go while wearing the pull-up or diaper, then it's not the actual place or scenario, but maybe that he needs something there and not the cold wet bowl underneath. Maybe then you can figure out the next step.

    I had to bring the kids in after 10 minutes of playing in the back yard today because S. screamed like I was killing him when I tried to make him stop dismantling our drip irrigation system. No distraction worked. No jollying him out of it worked. Just a solid, high-pitched, "NOOOOoooo, Mommy," like I was putting out cigarettes on his arm. This is so awful, and this was after he screamed at me for another hour while trying to get him to nap today. I did not want the neighbors to call CPS on me, or have their own kids awakened from their naps. He is so incredibly loud. I brought them all inside and he continued screaming and hit me and ran at me and pushed me. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "Pushing Mommy!" in between screams. I put him in time out for two minutes, first time ever. He spent the first minute screaming and the second minute collapsed in my arms, quiet and touching my face.

    I am having a non-weekend glass of wine and feeling much screamed-upon. Bleh. Although I did a nice q-tip dot paint project and bath with glow sticks with all three of them afterward and they were fine. I'm just so mentally exhausted from all of the shrieking. I wonder if it's some residual illness, or if this is terrible twos. He denies feeling bad. Just says he's mad.
    Conner doesn't use diapers or pull-ups. We've discussed making him wear pull ups (he doesn't want to) just because Rich & I are so fed up with cleaning out his underwear every day. We still have a little potty that he's chosen to try to sit on to poop.

    He did try for a 2nd time, so maybe taking all his toys away will work (?). I don't know. It's not my first choice but we're really at our wits end with this. He's asked a number of times for his dinosaurs but we repeat that he can have them when he poops on the potty and he seems ok. And he's trying...so we're going to stick with this.

    He usually goes pretty late, so there's still hope he'll do it tonight. Then we'll have to decide, do we take all his toys away again tomorrow?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #28537
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    Oh and L I wanted to give you great big I felt exhausted & worn out just reading your post. I hope if it is the terrible twos that it's a short lived phase for you. It must have been incredibly frustrating for you.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #28538

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    Chrissy, do you also get him to try on the regular toilet too?

  9. #28539
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    He'll pee in the regular toilet but he's afraid to sit on the seat on it. I won't force him to till he's ready.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #28540
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    It sounds incredibly frustrating, Chrissy.

    And L, that post of your exhausted me, too. You will get through this.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #28541

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I hope the tests aren't expensive. Poor kitty. Our dog has an awful skin condition. After we moved, I tried to buy the dog food from the local vet but they said we needed a script to get it. I haven't made it out to the vet where we used to go to get her food, so she's been eating what I can buy at the pet store. Her skin is getting bright red and tough feeling again. I really need to make her an appointment.
    Why don't you call your old vet and ask them to call in a prescription to your new vet? I did that for about a year when I switched vets - it shouldn't be a problem.

    Hugs to all having a hard time right now.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  12. #28542
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    Nm. Didn't read properly.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 02-20-2012 at 09:10 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #28543
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    Mandy, skin issues could be really difficult to treat. In lieu of doing the diagnostics with a spendy allergy panel, can you try an elimination diet of some sort? Pick a no grain diet with a novel protein maybe, or go raw: http://www.rawfedcats.org/.

    Chrissy, do you have a Costco near you? They have a very nice grain free food that is very affordable. Heck, you could probably try any of the grain free foods out there, and it will likely be less expensive and do as good a job as the prescription stuff.

    L, you sure have your hands full. I swear, what hair I have, is all turning gray from dealing with the little monster's shenanigans. Hope your kids settle down soon.

  14. #28544
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    Already tried elimination diet with rabbit as protein. Currently we're feeding her Blue Wilderness which is grain free. There has been no difference. Old doctor thought it was potentially an autoimmune disorder or environmental allergy but did not recommend the allergy panel.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Why don't you call your old vet and ask them to call in a prescription to your new vet? I did that for about a year when I switched vets - it shouldn't be a problem.

    Hugs to all having a hard time right now.
    I don't think she had a prescription from the other vet. I just walked in and bought it every 3-4 weeks as needed. Unless they recognized me every time, they never asked who I was or who it was for...they just sold it to me. But it is possible that they knew who I was because the town was less than 800 people and most of them were there for generations. All the new people are easy to recognize.

    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Chrissy, do you have a Costco near you? They have a very nice grain free food that is very affordable. Heck, you could probably try any of the grain free foods out there, and it will likely be less expensive and do as good a job as the prescription stuff.
    No, we don't. I thought about going to Petco or Petsmart (not sure which we have) and see what they have on the shelves too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #28546
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    Petco has a good selection of decent foods, usually. Solid Gold Barking at the Moon, Blue Buffalo Limited Ingredients, Nature's Variety instinct, Wellness Core, Natural Balance LID, etc. are ll good quality foods. Right now, they have a 20% off sale with free shipping - maybe something you can look into.

    Mandy, if it is environmental or autoimmune, there is not a lot you can do, unfortuntely.

  17. #28547
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    So is an allergy panel worth it? Or should we just continue with the steroid that works, but will build up in her system over time? I suspect we'll end up continuing with the steroids, allergy panel or no allergy panel.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    So is an allergy panel worth it? Or should we just continue with the steroid that works, but will build up in her system over time? I suspect we'll end up continuing with the steroids, allergy panel or no allergy panel.
    Do you have the option of consulting a holistic vet? In your shoes, I'd try that first. I only know about cases with dogs, but in most cases that I know, the tests have provided information, but not much relief. Maybe find out first what the treatment options are if the tests reveal environmental allergies, before you do it. I know that veterinary dermatologists are expensive, as are the tests and allergy shots (if necessary).

  19. #28549
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    I will definitely ask if the results would change treatment in the end.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #28550

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    Another good grain-free food with different protein sources is Taste of the Wild. We feed our dog the venison and bison flavor and she loves it. It's all wholesome ingredients. I buy it at pet life but I think pet quarters has it too.
    AKA Lisa724

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Petco has a good selection of decent foods, usually. Solid Gold Barking at the Moon, Blue Buffalo Limited Ingredients, Nature's Variety instinct, Wellness Core, Natural Balance LID, etc. are ll good quality foods. Right now, they have a 20% off sale with free shipping - maybe something you can look into.
    Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by MashedUp View Post
    Another good grain-free food with different protein sources is Taste of the Wild. We feed our dog the venison and bison flavor and she loves it. It's all wholesome ingredients. I buy it at pet life but I think pet quarters has it too.
    I don't think we have either of those stores in my area.

    Mandy, how often does she need those steroid shots?

    good morning everyone I'm settling in to my new job nicely (I think). In our corner of the world nothing is off limits to be said. My new boss (Lisa) said she was sorry she f'd something up (she said the whole word). I was a little taken aback by that because she doesn't look like the kind to drop the f-bomb. She's very sweet and nice and dresses conservatively, and then swears like a sailor. Well, once she did. The guys are hilarious but I do wonder what they would have done if they'd hired someone uptight because they can be blatantly crude. I find it funny-and so does Faye (my colleague that's training me). They claim she has a potty mouth and she's nodded her head in agreement with the devil in her eyes but I haven't heard it yet. The office dynamic is very interesting to me. And...they are lucky I'm not easily offended. Scott (the guy that stated with me) keep looking at each other like, "I cannot believe they just said that!" It's all in good fun, I assure you, and nothing like that is said out on the floor. It's all kept to our corner of the world. I don't think I've blushed this much since 8th grade.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 02-21-2012 at 07:02 AM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #28552
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post

    And L, that post of your exhausted me, too. You will get through this.
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    Last edited by 3andMe; 03-02-2012 at 03:26 PM.


  23. #28553

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    Oh, jeez Lydia.

  24. #28554
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    Quote Originally Posted by MashedUp View Post
    Another good grain-free food with different protein sources is Taste of the Wild. We feed our dog the venison and bison flavor and she loves it. It's all wholesome ingredients. I buy it at pet life but I think pet quarters has it too.
    This is what I have my girls on too. I switched after realizing the diet food I had Cosmo on was not good quality. Right now we are doing the wetlands formula and the girls seem to like it...but not so much that they overeat and will leave food in their dish sometimes. I think that we were going to do the bison one but it didn't say for all life stages on the bag and the wetlands (duck, quail, turkey) did.
    And really the price is pretty similar to what we were paying for eukanuba or science diet. I do get mine from a local pet store where they have all the premium brands and sell things like rawhides made in America.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #28555

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    Yeah, I think most pet stores carry the Taste of the Wild brand. I didn't notice the all stages wording, but we only have one dog who's an active 6 year old.
    AKA Lisa724

  26. #28556
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    Oh wow Lydia....


    Mandy, don't know anything really about cats. Can they give them benedryl? What about an oral steroid like prednisone instead of shots?

    But I have to say that your IUI's are somewhat cheap. I was told it would be over 1K per cycle and that was what, 3 or 4 years ago. And not with donor sperm or injectibles other than a trigger. It's why we said forget it....between paying for a few tries of that and an HSG (that was going to be 1375)....and for me, the IUI didn't increase my chances of a pg by much at all.

    So I think that I have talked DH into talking to someone in a few months about installing an invisible fence. Putting in a regular fence isn't an option....he's totally against it because it would ruin the view. Right now our back view is a field and woods behind that....and off to one side the freeway and it's fun to watch that. Cosmo knows her yard and listens pretty well if I tell her to stop when we are outside. But no way do I trust Poogie to come when called. But I also want the girls to be able to run around and chase each other and not have to have Poogie tied up.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I'm sure you know this already, but make sure the girls are supervised when outside anyway. IFs do fail (ask me how many dogs we've pulled with IF collars on), and it doesn't keep critters or people with ill intent out.

  28. #28558
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    My store didn't have the puppy version of the taste of the wild but some of the formulas say for all life stages and one or two I think said something else. Even has directions on it for how much to feed based on age and weight of the dog. This was so helpful because I was at first doing a puppy food and Cosmo was on diet food. But each wanted to eat the others food. It was such a PITA to feed them...and of course Poogie needed food like 4 times a day back than.

    Now it's so much easier, in morning I put out about 1 1/2 cups of food and do the same at dinner. I watched to see if one (Cosmo) was eating all the food but she wasn't. They will take turns eating out of the dish. It's cute how neither is aggressive about food.

    Cosmo is actually almost too nice to the Poogie. It was good when she was a baby but she's 5 months old and Cosmo will just stand here and let her hang off her back and neck and lick her face and eyes. Except that leaves me yelling at her to knock it off because with the eyes, I don't want Poogie messing with them....not with us putting the steroids in them 3 times a day and that leaves Cosmo at higher risk for infection should she get a scratch on her cornea. Poogie just really loves her big sister Cosmo and I think Cosmo loves her but is like just leave me alone sometimes.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #28559
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    Oh yeah I wasn't planning on just leaving the girls outside. Especially given that I'm pretty sure that I saw a wolf right at the woods treeline last year (it was NOT a coyote). I know we have fox in the neighborhood. And it's not unheard of for a bear or two to be spotted in town every spring....I'm right at the end of town.
    Right now I do let Cosmo out in the back and will stand on the deck and watch her when nice or when not, stand inside right at the door watching her. If we go out the front, I will stand out on the porch. When it's dark we do NOT go out the back....it's scary out there and too dark. At least the front we have a streetlight a few houses down and I put the porch lights on.
    I just want to be able to be outside with them or be working in my garden and have them both out with me and not worry that if Poogie gets it in her head to not listen to me, she would be stopped. She is a HUGE drama queen and sensitive so I think it would not take much of a little static to stop her.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    view front.jpgview from deck.jpg

    That front area by the porch is one spot I was thinking of invisible fencing in. We like to sit out on our rockers on the porch quite a bit and this is where we go potty outside at night. And I'm really hoping that eventually Poogie will mostly be pottying outside like Cosmo now does.
    Other picture is from the deck of the left side of the yard and is the view that DH doesn't want to interrupt (eventually there might be houses back there if a developer ever buys the land). Farmer behind us grows soybeans...at least the past two years and off the one side corn. There is woods behind that and that treeline is where I saw the wolf one night around dusk. We do get deer out there....and in my yard eating my veggies.

    Oh and one thing I know I need to ask about is we have a gopher issue in the spring....later in the summer I think that they decided to eat the soybeans instead of our grass. I don't know how far down they go or if they would disrupt the wire.
    Freaking gophers...never hated an animal like I hate them.
    Last edited by Cosmosmom; 02-21-2012 at 11:12 AM.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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