I'm very glad for your sake, and your mom's, that you were able to forgive her and let all that go and see the wonderful person that she is. That gives me hope, but at the same time it concerns me. I cannot do this for 3-4 years. I know every relationship is different and maybe it won't take me that long...but it might take me longer. And what is this doing to our kids? Lots of questions (and no, I don't expect anyone to answer them for me, I'm just thinking out loud here)
When I first thought about leaving (back in August?) I was adamant I was done. Done done-forever. Then we had a huge flood and there weren't any apartments available. Actually, that's still an issue because 75% of my town's homes, apartments, and businesses were significantly damaged during that flood and many places aren't habitable yet. And those that have been repaired are quite spendy. Anyway, by November I was thinking that maybe a break would do us both good. If I leave it doesn't mean we have to be divorced or separated forever. Maybe being away from him will help me let go of some of that anger/resentment. Maybe missing him would be a good thing.
Again, I'm just thinking out loud. The con to leaving and taking a break from our relationship is that there are 4 other people besides us that would be impacted. It would break Rich's heart. I would devastate our kids. I don't want to be the cause of hurting them and that's really the biggest hang up I have. If it were just me alone, I'd have been gone a long time ago. At least to test my theory about having a break as being a cure for what ails us.
Ok-I feel better. I got all the ugly thoughts out. Tomorrow is a new day and at least I'll be at work. Right now, that's my happy place. :/