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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #28321

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    I eat organic foods as much as possible and what some people would consider overly healthy, I guess. Anytime I fall off the whole-food wagon my body and mind react badly... I feel slower, both physically and mentally.

    I won't give Abbey food dyes or refined sugar. I know there are people who think I'm snobby about food because I'm at their house and won't eat whatever food is around (or let Abbey eat it either). I've never once said that other people shouldn't eat whatever they want, but sometimes just by virtue of making sure Abbey and I are eating healthy, people think I'm a food snob. I'm not going to eat meat or processed cheese or Oreos just to be a nice guest.

    Oh I understand! I don't mean you would have to eat it just to be nice. But not knowing anything about what I feed Josh, this woman was scoffing about fruit snacks and go-gurt right in front of me. I guess she was assuming that since I was at a meeting about healthy eating, I probably don't feed my kid those things. But I do.

  2. #28322

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    Hi all!!

    SCUBJIA here after my trip to Disney and Universal for Ky's birthday. I am beat!!! I mentioned I was going but not the actual date because saying when I'm leaving town on the internet is a big fear of mine ever since we got money years ago and bought stuff. I will be totally POd if someone steals my stuff while I'm gone and honestly I am not even that attached to it but still, it is my stuff. But anyway....

    There are a lot of mean and nice and sweet things I remember my parents telling me. Usually when I tell other people, they think I have some sort of hang up about them but I don't. My family is pretty jokey and looking back I know that the majority of the things they said/say are jokes but back then I was super sensitive and I remember going to cry in my room or crying in front of them, which would make them laugh at me then apologize because they didn't think I was really sad about it.

    One in particular I really remember is watching a movie by Spike Lee called "School Daze." It is kind of a snap shop of what it is like to go to a HBCU (historically black college/university) and it actually is one of the primary reasons that I ended up going to an HBCU (the movie was also filmed on the campus of the college I went to). In the movie there is a scene where the college girls are singing the dark skinned/nappy haired girls versus the light skinned/wavy/straight haired girls. The girls with nappy hair are called "jig-a-boos" by the other girls and my mom always used to complain about combing my hair when I was about 9 or 10 saying how thick and nappy it was and she would sing that part of the song to me and call me a jig-a-boo and I would tear up. Usually I wouldn't cry but once I did and she told me I was "too sensitive."

    I also remember wanting to take ballet lessons when I was 7 and my mom had just got me a training bra since I had breast buds at the time, which I hated since I was a tom-boy and I just really hated that I was getting boobs. My mom told me I couldn't take ballet because my "tits would get too big." That really pissed me off and I was upset at her for a long time. She later told me she just made up that excuse as a joke because she was ashamed she couldn't afford for me to take ballet.

    The worst thing I remember though was when I was 18 and my mom was involved in her cult-church and I needed some money for something important that I can't remember now. She kept giving me excuses when I asked her for $30. She was getting child support of $60 a week for me at the time from my dad that was garnished from his paycheck so I asked her if I could get half of it. She kept telling me she needed it for church and what they were going to do at the cult-church with the money and I got kind of peeved because she just kept changing the subject and so I asked her why she wasn't listening to me she told me it was because I never said anything she wanted to hear. I stopped talking to her after that for a long time, about 3 years. During that 3 years I probably only spoke to her twice a year. She apologized for that as well after she got out of the cult-church.

    Erin

  3. #28323

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    I was pretty shocked about Whitney Houston.

    I mostly felt horrible for her mother Cissy Houston, who I have read has been the one constantly trying to get Whitney off of drugs and sending her to rehab, Cissy and Dionne Warwick who is a relative of Whitney's. I also fell horrible for her daughter. Even though she was an addict, she was her daughter's mother and I'm sure her daughter loved her and will miss her terribly. I also feel bad for Bobby Brown and feel he is probably shocked and saddened as well. I don't really see celebrities for their problems though. Everyone has problems. Unfortunately some people's problems are broadcast to the whole world so we can judge them. I always think, what if that were my mom or dad. Both my parents did drugs, my dad was more than likely a worse addict than Whitney but he was my dad and I adored him, even the years he was a crack head. I would have been devastated if he'd passed away, even during those times. Even though he was on drugs, IMO he was a good dad. He was there for me. I knew him and knew he loved me. He took me places. I never knew he did any drugs except marijuana, which I thought was cigarettes. We had a great relationship and I do think, with all his faults, he did a good job as a dad.

    I am sentimental any time I read or hear about any celebrity's issues. I get upset about it really since no one cares about "regular" people dying of drug overdoses or smoking fake marijuana, like what happened to Demi Moore and getting seizures. I would never want to be rich or famous. Too many people looking at you with a microscope.


    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 02-12-2012 at 11:12 PM.

  4. #28324
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    I agree, Erin, I would never want to be famous because I don't want to live under a microscope.

    And OMG about your mother and the cult and the comments about your hair!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #28325

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    I'm saddened by whitney's passing, but not shocked. I'm mostly sad for her family.

    I went to the funeral for my mom's best friend's DH on friday night. It was an amazing, spiritual, but non-religious service. It was peaceful to me to attend a funeral that wasn't all about god or heaven, especially because I know it was exactly what he would have wanted. He was a very spiritual, meditative person.

    Asher woke up with a fever this morning. He's been battling a cough off and on for a few weeks, so I'm hoping it isn't anything bad. DH stayed home with him because I have a busy day at work today. I may have to make an appt for him later or in the morning, depending on how things progress.
    AKA Lisa724

  6. #28326

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    So today was the meeting for the ethical eating curriculum that I mentioned to you guys. It sounds like it's going to be neat. I don't think we'll be doing cooking classes every week but we'll be talking about stuff like gardening, food situations around the world (how different cultures eat, how there is less food for people in certain regions), how to eat healthy, the effects of different kinds of food on the body, etc.

    I feel a little hypocritical helping out with classes on eating healthy. We're not shy about fast food and I had to laugh (inwardly, of course) at the other moms who were turning up their noses at fruit snacks! I really can't stand snobbery when it comes to how other people eat. I mean yes if vegan diet works for you or you avoid food dyes and chemicals and all that, that is great but don't make other people feel bad for not doing that.
    That is a tough one, Kate. I have a hard time telling whether people are being judgy & self-important (snobby), or just expressing really strong opinions without trying to make others feel bad. I used to argue all the time with an ex- about where the line is between opinionated and judgmental. Either way, it can be hurtful and hard to hear someone more restrictive than you say: "I would NEVER do ______", when you do that very thing. The thing I've come to realize is that we're all composed of opinions, and each of us has a list - whether we vocalize it or not - of things we would emphatically "NEVER" do. And someone else might be completely offended if s/he could hear just how much I would "NEVER" do something that s/he does. What I'm trying to say is... since we all have opinions, I don't really fault or ridicule people for holding an opinion that's strongly against something I do. I assume there's an implied judgment in there with every opinion because those just tend to logically follow. To me, it's all just part of coexisting with other unique human beings.

    I do think some - when feeling judged - feel the need to judge back - maybe even project malice onto the other person where there was none - and round and round they go. Conflict created where it wasn't necessary. Honestly, if I get a vibe in conversation that someone's trying to use her own restrictions to puff herself up and assert she's better than me, I think, oh that's just because that person is insecure and needs to feel better than other people. The opinion is fine, that person just needs to work on his/her self-esteem.

    All I know is, to some people I'm super restrictive about what I eat, and to others, I'm not doing enough for my health and the general good. You can't please everybody. When I weaned Bodhi at 30 months, for some it was too soon and for others it was "about time". APA is well-stocked with people who have really strong opinions, AND people who have a very hard time not taking strong opinions against something they do as a personal attack. Sometimes, you find both of those things in the same person. If anything, this site should teach people to be a little more sensitive in the way they express their opinions, while simultaneously helping everybody have a thicker skin about conflicting perspectives. The diversity here has made me a lot more accepting, I can say that much.
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-13-2012 at 12:48 PM.

  7. #28327

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    Lisa, I'm sorry to hear Asher isn't well today. If it makes you feel any better, my little dude has an awful, awful cough right now and it's hard to see him battling it. But I know it's even harder when the sicko is your baby who can't talk or tell you what's really bugging him.

    I am glad to hear the funeral was a relatively positive experience for you, though.

    Erin, I'm horrified at some of the things your mom said to you. She really put you through the wringer at times, didn't she? I'd say I'm sorry, but look how awesome and empowered you turned out. I'm sure episodes like the one where you had to ask her for to spend your child support on you taught you a lot about being your own advocate. Love you!

    ****

    ETA: Chrissy, I know you're at your new job today. I'm thinking of you and wish you the best!
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-13-2012 at 11:49 AM.

  8. #28328
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    Welcome back Erin!! Tell us about your trip!! How did the kids like it? Was it everything everyone was expecting?

    I'm at my new job and as you can see, I have time for APA!! I don't know how much I'll be able to be on, but if it's occasionally I'm happy! Everything is going great. Everyone is super nice and there are perks I didn't even know about when I accepted the job. 2 biggies-free access to a gym (with pool) and free coffee all day long (that Kurig kind-or however you spell it). I'm a happy camper.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #28329

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    What you said is very true Myles. I tend to take things too personally and I wrongly interpret people's strong opinions into some kind of reflection or judgement of me. The same thing happened when I was taking Josh's behavior personally come to think of it. Why do I keep doing that?

    That is awesome that they have free Keurig coffee Chrissy! And access to a gym! Glad you're enjoying the job so far.

  10. #28330
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    I tend to assume people are expressing opinions more than judgment. It has stood me in good stead most of the time and keeps me happier, although I do tend to miss some nuances that way.

    All of my kids are sick, too. Hacking coughs, fevers, crankiness abounding. I had to bow out of a Valentine's cookie decorating party that the twins were really looking forward to yesterday. Baby S. has been screaming in his sleep every 15 minutes or so. And I actually have a doctor's appointment for DD today, unrelated to the colds, because her abdominal pain has been getting more frequent and more severe and despite us pretty much minimizing it and telling her to go lie down on the couch on her left side and she can play again when she feels better, it doubles her over and makes her cry and makes her skip dessert if there's one available. It's been going on for more than two weeks. I have a feeling there is nothing that will show up.

    My birthday is tomorrow and I normally handle it pretty well, but I feel like crap this year. I have had several patients tell me lately that I look old. Not in so many words, but with a kind pat and "You have fair skin and you've been out in the sun a lot and it shows, dearie." Plus this new spontaneous lactation, the uncontrollable bleeding with my periods, and a couple of other symptoms I've been having have been making me feel like my body is falling apart. Today DS told me, "I love Daddy more than I love you" and yesterday he told me he wished everyone would die except for him.

    DD has been shrieking at me for the littlest things. I cried yesterday after DD yelled at me for putting blueberries in her pancakes, and DH was talking to me about how much food goes to waste in our house. I said I spend so much time planning healthy meals that everyone will like, shopping for groceries, and cooking all week long (sometimes four separate meals per evening), and it is so hurtful to have everyone be so rude about it. DH was very kind. We came up with a strategy to put just a small amount of food that we want them to have on their plates, and then a common platter of foods they might be able to supplement from in the middle of the table, just a little bit at a time, so we can save it if they don't eat it. DD actually ate some of the main dish last night, after yelling a bit.

    DH and I are having our annual date day tomorrow, and I can honestly tell you I am really looking forward to a day without children.

    I hope all of the sick children get better! Chrissy, glad your new job is going well. Free Keurig coffee, wow. That company must be doing well. Erin, glad to see you back, although the stories about what your mom told you give me shivers.


  11. #28331
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    Daggum, L, sounds like you've had it rough lately. I hope you have a super duper date day and the kids all start feeling better soon and life will seem better then.

    We are all slowly getting over our sicknesses. I still have a sore throat and feel a little lethargic, but the boys are feeling better, so they've been happier little souls. Today, we took Travis to the eye doctor over his squint that he's developed and he told us that Travis is far sighted and we have to take him back next week to get his eyes dilated to get a correct diagnosis; he'll have to wear glasses to see properly. I feel really silly but it made me want to burst in to tears when he told us that he'd need glasses. DH and I looked at each other when the doctor was telling us that and we both gave each other a look like we could cry. Travis has gorgeous hazel eyes and I feel like glasses will hide his beautiful little eyes. I know it's silly and he'll be just as cute with glasses.

    Erin, I hope you had a fun trip!

  12. #28332

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    So sorry for all of you going through illnesses. I am really hoping that we do not get anymore sicknesses in the foreseeable future.

    Chrissy so good to hear things are going well at the new job and cool that you get access to a gym and pool! I so wish my company had access to a gym. Before she left, my last boss was considering buying us a corporate membership to the Gold's Gym location that is in our highrise building (they are on the bottom level) and we were all excited about it since we would be able to work out at lunch.

    We had a great time on our trip. I took Ky and a little cousin of ours who is 12 who is really close to Ky and who spends the weekends with us twice per month. Both of them were super excited that they got to get on roller coasters. Neither had been on one before and neither had been the Disney or Universal before. They had a ball on the Incredible Hulk ride even with their upset that the Spiderman 3D experience was going through some sort of upgrade so it closed the day we got to Florida. They got on all the big coasters at least twice since all the waits were 20 minutes or less. The Hulk was only 5 minutes so they got on that multiple times.

    They also both enjoyed Disney. We only went to the Magic Kingdom and man that place is HUGE!!! I have also never been to Disney before so it was an experience. I was kind of peeved we didn't see any characters walking around so that Elle could say hi. Instead there were lines to see characters so I was disappointed with that. The character lines were longer than the ride lines. Elle also peed herself on a ride The Carousel of Progress. She wanted to go on it and it was pretty long and halfway through she had to pee but we couldn't leave. I knew if she peed all over her pants and new shoes we'd brought her for the trip she would flip out so I used her jacket to catch the pee since her stroller was outside and I didn't have her pull ups on the attraction with me. She also hates pullups but I have an old bag that I take on trips just in case of pee accidents. She ended up not getting pee on herself or her new shoes but she was still upset that she couldn't make it to the bathroom. We had a good rest of the day after that though and her favorite ride was the Pirates of the Carribbean. She has been saying "argh!" ever since LOL! We also got all 3 some swords from the pirate store and so I spent the rest of the trip telling them not to sword fight in our condo.

    The condo was REALLY nice! I was happy I went that route instead of staying at the Disney resort, which my FIL wanted to do. It was decorated really well, in an African theme and called "Simba's Pride" after the Lion King movie. The kids just loved it. Not only was it super less expensive than the resort but we had a lot of freedom to ride around and see things in town and some relatives from the Tampa area came down to see us as well. DH had to go to another meeting in Chicago about the firefighter job he might get as soon as we got back yesterday. His flight left at 9pm and we got back around 4pm so it was a rush to get everything he needed, take back our rental car, pick up the dogs from the dog sitter and get him to the airport on time. He will be back tonight around 10pm tonight, which is good since I actually miss him when he's gone.

    I forgot tomorrow was Valentine's Day until just now when I came online. I am not a big Valentine's Day celebrator. I think I will ask DH to give me some good sex for Valentine's Day! For some reason I am super horny right now (I know TMI but I really am).

    Erin

  13. #28333

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    Glad you had a good time Erin!
    Sorry your kids are sick L. Josh had a bad few days too, he was up half the night crying on Thursday and I took him to the dr. on Friday and she recommended Benadryl. I didn't have high hopes for it because I swear we tried it before and it didn't do anything, but I tried it and it worked like a charm. I was so glad he (we) didn't have to have another miserable night.

  14. #28334

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    Oh, forgot to mention, that the things I said above are the only 3 incidents that I remember that my mom said horrible things to me. And really only the last one was upsetting to me, mostly because I felt it was really personal and I was just really pissed about it. She really did a lot to earn my forgiveness for it as well and we have a great relationship now.

    Even though she would say some crazy things, most of what she told me was good advice. She was always telling me that I was smarter than she was (she still says this and I don't like it that she does) and that I could do anything I wanted. She really believed in me and was always building up my confidence. I think she did more right than wrong. My dad also gave great advice. He also never said anything negative about me. He just loved me and called me his "hero." He told me that that Mariah Carey song "Hero" was about me. He says he thinks of me everytime he hears it because he thinks I have a fighting spirit and can overcome anything. He makes me blush and I love him. He is a great dad even though in his own personal life he makes horrible decisions for himself sometimes and he also undervalues his intelligence. He never got a high school diploma or a GED and feels he isn't smart enough to get one now. He is the only person I know who can add, subtract, multiply, and divide large string of numbers and even algebra equations in his head. He had to take a test similar to the GED test for a job he got a few years ago and he aced it but he thinks he's too old now and not smart enough to get a GED, plus he feels he is too old and it isn't worth it now. But he has constantly told me I was beautiful, nappy hair and all LOL! And that I was smart and sensitive and deserving of all the great things and people that come into my life. He has his issues but they were never with me and I have never had a reason to deny that he felt anything but true, unconditional love for me.

    Erin

  15. #28335
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    That sounds like a really good trip, Erin! I hope to go to Disney one day. DH went when he was 17 and he loved it. I'm glad y'all had a good time; you definitely deserved that! And I had to LOL at your Valentine's gift idea; I wouldn't mind that for my present either! I got DH a card and that's all he's getting from me present-wise!

  16. #28336

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    Forgot to mention Ash that I bet Travis will look super cute in his glasses! And don't worry about not seeing his eyes. They will still be beautiful!

    I remember being worried when I was younger about getting glasses. I was 9 when I got glasses for my nearsightedness. I thought that people wouldn't notice my beautiful eyes anymore. I have huge doe eyes like Ky in my siggy pic and they are my favorite feature of myself. Everyone still noticed them and I even still noticed them. I think I look better with glasses now than without.

    Erin

  17. #28337
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    Sounds like a GREAT vacation....minus the progress ride (probably wasn't the best time of your life on that one! LOL). Agree with you that renting something like that is the best way to do Disney...we did that but had a house and that was still cheaper than a hotel plus you get the benefit of a kitchen. Sorry that they didn't have any characters walking about. They did last time I was there but they spread them out it seemed over a number of the parks.

    Ash, I think that glasses attract people to look at the eyes even more than without. The thing I think detracts from seeing eyes is if people have too much hair hanging in their face. Glasses, though, are frames for the eyes and draw attention to that space.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #28338
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    I'm going to write first and read later. So, DH spent an entire day in DC trying to sort the visa stuff out. First, they went to the embassy (at 9:00 AM), because my BIL knows someone, and it turned out, he was on vacation. That guy had recommended someone - who was in a conference. 0 for 2. They waited to see if someone else could help, but in the meantime, DH had filled out all the paperwork for the exemption, and had an appointment at the place that does the visa. They go there since things at the embassy were going nowhere, and yup, they said we don't do the exemption visa, go back to the embassy. They go back to the embassy and they tried to send them back to the visa place. Finally, they admitted that they didn't have the first clue what to do for the exemption, asked him to do the app for an entry visa (that doesn't have the stupid 60 days between visits rule), and he got his visa. At 6:00 PM.

    Before he went to the airport on Saturday (his flight was at 9:45, he left at 5:15), he said 'Watch, the people there won't know there is a difference between entry visa and tourist visa and won't believe me', and sure enough, that's what happened. Luckily, we had anticipated that, and printed out material from the internet that a) showed what the visa page looks like and what the information means, and b) the different rules. It took two hours, but finally someone read through the stuff and let him go, with apologies. DH got home safely, his dad had the procedure today, and is in ICU. If he continues to do well, they'll move him down to his room tomorrow.

    My brother has been visiting with nephew for the past 4 days. I don't know how those of you with two kids do it, especially those with two kids close in age. Things have been KUHRAYZEEEE!!! Mostly, they're fighting. When they're not, they're cooperating on something they shouldn't be doing. Like trying to run away from the playground (together, holding hands; it's cute except for the fact that they're trying to run away), or pushing furniture around to get to stuff they can't otherwise reach. Two kids are like 10 times the trouble. We did go to the play area at the mall and the Baltimore aquarium, where they had a blast. There was a 4-D Diego & Dora show playing, which they both really liked. My kid wanted to put the glasses on top of her head, so I held my glasses in front of her eyes, and she then really looooved the special effects (it was cute, watching her duck and try to grab and stuff), and cried saying 'More, More' when it was over. The only kid there that did that.

    Things have been going okay in school. She acts like I'm taking her to slaughter when I leave, but is fine like 30 seconds later. Her teacher was telling me last week that she's very smart. Today, she said (I'm paraphrasing a little) "Sujatha, she is VERY smart. She has the cognitive skills and abilities of a 3 year old. She has very nuanced skills when it comes to negotiations. Her language skills are so well developed, I can't believe she is not even two yet, and is bilingual on top of that. It has been a very long time since I have had a kid like her, and I am really looking forward to working with her. It's going to be amazing". Honestly, that scares me a little. Everywhere I turn, people are telling me how smart she is. I'm not sure how to handle it, and it has rarely ended well for the kids I have known that have been considered smart at a young age (wasted potential is what I generally see, even when the kid has done okay in terms of not screwing up).

    Now, off to read.

  19. #28339
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    I'm glad things ultimately worked out with your dh's visa. But man, what a pain.

    Your daughter sounds amazing! Just enjoy it

    Conner has his first loose tooth. I told him the tooth fairy was going to come and he said very sarcastically, "Mooo-ooom! The tooth fairy isn't real!" I guess he told me.

  20. #28340
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    Suja, my niece is an extremely bright child and at 17 is doing very well. She had a 2 or 3 word vocabulary at 6 months old and has been ahead in most things all her life. She won a full scholarship to a $30K/year private school in 6th grade and has been there on the same scholarship ever since. She is planning to be a robotics engineer. She also is the captain of the varsity fencing team and used to do competitive Irish dancing. She also is studying for the AP physics exam and has taught herself most of the material from the study guides. She hasn't taken the class yet. My dad is a physics professor and he watched her doing the work and had never seen anything like it. She grew up in a bilingual home (English and Japanese, although she did not speak as much Japanese after entering Kinder) and I am fully convinced that is a large part of the reason she is so advanced. Bilingualism has been shown to have a positive effect on IQ. So don't worry too much. Maybe she'll turn out like my niece.

    Personally I think her younger brother is smarter (said his first word at 4 months, and entered kindergarten reading at a 3rd grade level), but as the second child he is the rebel and school isn't his thing. He is on scholarship to the same school, primarily because of his older sister, but he has to maintain or they wouldn't let him stay there and he is doing fine. He plays the bass and I'm waiting for him to be a rock star. He has the hair already, the kind that flops in his face.

    I'm glad your DH got his Visa. Typical that he had to print out the rules for them to read, though.

    Chrissy, the gym and free coffee sounds great! I hope you enjoy this new position.

    L, I read your stories and just felt tired for you. I'm so sorry you're feeling so emotional over it. That sounds like a good idea to consolidate food, though. I hope it works out.

    Ash, I had glasses at about 10. I agree the glasses will just draw attention to his beautiful eyes. My other nephew had glasses at about Travis' age and he was simply adorable with them on.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #28341

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    Lydia, I could have written the part about working so hard to cook healthy meals and have everyone be so rude about it. I've cried over that before. Dbf for all of his faults loves my food and goes on and on about how delicious everything is. But between Savana and Kai sometimes I find myself wondering why I don't just make them pb&j's every night. I am so sorry you're having a rough go and glad that dh showed you kindness when you needed it.

    Chrissy, I'm excited for you and your new job. It seems great! I love how they left a little welcome pack on your desk!

    Erin, you are an amazing woman. The more I get to know you, the more I think that. I really like the way you think, such a "dust yourself off and move on" type of gal. I strive to be that way. Your vacation sounds awesome! Great idea to get the condo.

    Ash, I understand you feelings. Of course I am one more person that thinks kids in glasses are pretty dang cute.

    Kate, I really hope I've never done what you describe those ladies as doing. It's something that always makes me cringe around dbf because if people offer our children something we'd rather they didn't have, instead of just saying no thank you he will say something like, "We don't eat at that kind of stuff". Ugh. It makes me want to bury my head in the sand and then I feel obligated to say something self depricating. lol

    Savana had her first therapy appt today. I wasn't impressed but I am so cynical about things like this sometimes. Just can't decide if we should continue but will probably give it one more visit at least.
    Last edited by Bridget; 02-13-2012 at 08:40 PM.

  22. #28342

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    I hope the therapy will be beneficial for Savana. I really do think it is about the therapist themselves and the way they connect with patients, especially children. I have mentioned that I went to therapy as a child. I started at 10 years old and out of all of them (I had about 5 different therapists) only 1 was worth anything. I hope that Savana gets a good one the first time. Mine was the fourth.

    Suja, whew just reading what your DH had to go through for the visa!! Glad everything worked out okay. And I agree with you about the awe at those who have kids close in age. I don't think I could do it and if I did I would probably be in a haze for a few years. It takes a lot of strength. I also wouldn't worry too much about your DD she sounds like a great kid. But I understand the worry. A lot of people in my family are and were considered of exemplary intelligence. I was as well and the majority of us didn't do anything spectaculor with it.

    Ironically I was speaking to my aunt about this a few weeks ago. She basically told me that she expected a lot of me and I did not live up to it. If I were the thinned skinned type it would have been insulting but I just wondered what she expected. She couldn't give me any details, just more. I thought that was strange. I don't think I'm a waste and I do love my life the way it is. I also don't think that people have to have certain careers or make a certain amount of money to be considered successful and I feel that most people, including my aunt feel that to be the case. If you are not rich you are not successful. Honestly though I have never wanted to be rich and still wouldn't want to be rich. If DH ends up getting this job I would consider us rich because of the pay they want to start him out as and especially if I continue to work. It is frightening to me. But the conversation I had with her made me think a bit. I don't consider my intelligence a waste since I'm not a criminal and I feel I make good decisions most of the time. I also don't see knowing a bunch of useless information (what I call the wealth of stuff I know about) as being better than anyone else. I'm alive and good person and to me that is success enough. I told her that and she got all apologetic and thought she insulted me, but really she didn't. I feel people who are kind, loving, responsible, and all around decent people, no matter their income levels are successes. I don't think she believed me. She then started talking about my brother and how he has wasted his talents. Maybe I am just a minority though in that I don't see money or degrees as evidence of success but that is okay I guess.

    Erin

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    Bridget, no I can't recall you being like that. Honestly I was probably just being oversensitive about it. It wasn't like I said "I love fruit snacks!" and then she proceeded to bash them. But it must be weighing heavy on my conscience still because I went out and bought a bunch of fresh fruit today.

    What was Savana's therapy like?

    Ash, I agree, kids in glasses are cute. Some of Josh's friends have glasses.

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    Erin, I think you are an amazing success story. Your aunt is crazy!

    LOL, Kate, I do things like that, too. Enjoy the fresh fruit!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I don't see money or degrees as evidence of success either. In fact, I think neither have much to do with it at all, though they can certainly be assets.

    Savana's therapy was just very, eh. I didn't feel like the therapist really tried very hard to engage Savana. I knew it would be hard to draw her out but the therapist seemed almost uncomfortable when Savana wouldn't answer her. She also hadn't read through any of the paperwork I filled out answering questions and listing behaviors so asked me a lot of them again in front of Savana which I was hoping she wouldn't do. I always made a point to ask Savana if she felt like what I was saying was true, or if she had anything to add, so she didn't feel like we were just talking about her without involving her. But I won't give up quite yet.

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    I hope you can find the right fit, Bridget. I agree it's all about personality. If this person doesn't work out, maybe you can try to find someone else who is a better fit?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Chrissy, your new job and coworkers sound lovely. Glad you got a little down time to check in here.

    Lydia, I hope everything around you starts to settle down some. It sounds like you really could use a break.

    Ash, I also think little kids look cute with glasses. There was a little girl at the aquarium yesterday with glasses on, and it really showed off her big, beautiful blue eyes.

    Bridget, I hope the therapy sessions improve, as you all get to know each other better.

    Erin, your vacation sounds great. I love roller coasters, but am considering sticking DH with Disney. I have a cousin who lives nearby, so the two of us can hang out while he gets to go have fun with the kid. I must say that you have an interesting family.

    DH and I have both done very well in terms of education and finances, but I still think that I have wasted my potential. I really would like to have made a bigger contribution to science. I know my fears come at least a little bit from that. Ultimately though, I just want her to be happy, healthy, and a productive member of the society.

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    Coincidentally, Bodhi's getting his eyes ch'ked tomorrow at school. I know this is a negative way of looking at things, but I'm nervous to learn the results. My vision is fine, but DH had very poor vision from early childhood - near legal blindness - and tells me how much his coke-bottle glasses detracted from his life, labeled him, and occasionally made him feel ostracized. Ack. Ah well. We'll do our best to not give Bodhi the same experience.

    Erin, your poor baby girl in line for the ride. I can imagine how disappointed she was with herself... having been in her shoes myself as a kid. Twice. Once at age 3 in a Thrifty store and another time in a line at school in the first grade. I was very ashamed. The rest of the Disney trip sounds awesome. I remember when you were still just thinking about going. I'm so glad you made it happen for you. I'm sure it's something they'll never forget. Oh yeah, and I really liked School Daze. It still trips me out to see Giancarlo Esposito now much older on that fairytale show on ABC. Time has flown. Seems like only yesterday I was doin' Da Butt while the EP spun on my record player.

    L, happy birthday! I hope you have a day full of love and kiddie kisses. You look absolutely beautiful, so I don't know what those people are basing their rude comments on. The fact that they're calling you 'dearie' seems to be a tip-off that they might not have all their faculties any longer, though.

    chrissy, yay! to a good first day. I always find the hardest part of Day 1 for me is staying awake.

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    I got glasses when I went into first grade. I got picked on some but only in a good natured way. I got contacts when I went into high school and only use glasses at night now. I think little kids in glasses are cute

    I want to go to disney again! We took DD to disneyland when she was 14 months. She was too young to enjoy most of it, but I had a business trip right down the street so we took advantage of being there. We will go again in a few years when the kids are older.
    AKA Lisa724

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    I don't know if it makes you feel any better about glasses but I had to get some when I was about 9, and wear a patch over one eye (I can't recall if I ever had to wear the patch to school or just at night at home). I had a lazy eye. So for about 5 years I wore really unattractive glasses and then it just kind of righted itself. It made for some awkward years but that happens anyway, glasses or not.

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