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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #28141
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    Isn't that a Disney movie? LOL!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #28142
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    TBH, I'm still a little confused at the distinction between "Mommy eat" and what could be considered a routine phrase. By routine, did you perhaps
    mean something two words repeated versus wo words assembled from single words she'd never heard said together before?

    I'm afraid I'm one of those people who gets easily confused because I need specificity. I guess that's why I write a lot of specifications for a living. I'm fairly quick to notice where more detail could be filled in, but annoyingly bad at making correct inferences.
    Exactly. I was looking for the ability for the child to independently assemble her own phrases/sentences, not just imitate what she had already heard. "Thank you" does not qualify as a two-word phrase. We call it a "chunk." If she said "mommy eat," you KNOW she put it together herself because she wouldn't have heard an adult say that, ever. I don't think she did that with "I'm hungry" because I didn't hear her using "I'm" or "hungry" separately in any other context or anything else remotely similar. If that makes sense.

    It probably wasn't the greatest example, though... doggie bark? cookie mine? Something along those lines.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #28143
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    I wouldn't have understood by the first explanation Mandy, but I got it when you clarified for Myles.

    Jennifer, your babes are adorable. They look like they're best friends already.

  4. #28144

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    Oh, Target. I always go in there for one or two things and come out with a cartful. I don't care if they're great deals either. There's just something about it. Apparently red, along with making you hungry, also makes you want to buy stuff.

    Mandy, I would have understood what you meant. You were looking for original observations as opposed to repeating something the child hears a lot.

  5. #28145
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    Kate, I hear that all the time about Target but it doesn't have that effect on me. I've gone in in desperation to get items I couldn't find elsewhere and wasn't able to find anything at target either. I've never been tempted to buy anything else, and I have walked around looking at stuff. I always wonder why people say they buy more than they intend there because I've never once saw anything special.

    I think in this I'm just wired different than other girls. I'd rather shop at Radio Shack.

  6. #28146

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    I have no idea what it is about that place. I'm there almost every day (it doesn't help that it's two blocks from where I live). I'm not a Radio Shack girl though. What do you buy there?

  7. #28147
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    I love Target. I can definitely go crazy there.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #28148
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    Electronics! I don't go often because I hate shopping in general, but if I ever lose track of time in a store it's in one like that or Best Buy. I can read labels on cameras, TVs, computers all day.

    I've bought various wire crimpers and other tools on the spur of the moment. That's the only type of impulse buy I would do. Definitely not clothes or household items.

  9. #28149

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    I'm with you, Chrissy. Well kinda. I really do not like any dept stores at all and avoid them as much as possible. If I do absolutely have to go, i do prefer Target however.

  10. #28150
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    Well ONE of them thinks they are best friends....Cosmo's not totally sold yet.

    I often walk out of Target empty handed. I do better at Walmart...ours is actually pretty nice but I hate the parking lot. Most of the time I go to Shopko....anyone else besides Bridget have those? I do go in there and come out with things that were not on my list.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #28151

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    LOL


    I buy mostly food or little things for Josh (gee, I wonder if they put the $1 section at the entrance for a reason) or little goofy things I don't really need but look cute, like kitchen towels with hearts on them-I do seasonal stuff in the house and I have no Valentine's day stuff yet. Heck, I even bought a second scale there the other day because I was convinced my scale was wrong (it wasn't )

  12. #28152
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    Mandy, I'm not sure how you could have explained it differently than asking her if she combined two words together in her own way. I guess you could have asked if she combined two words together in a way that her mother did not routinely combine them. And then maybe asked her if she was talking about something she was doing, such as eating, and she described it, like "Look, Mommy's eating a banana. Bananas are yummy. Do you like bananas?" Would her daughter ever reply with similar words and put them together in her own way and in a way that made sense, and not just copy the phrases?

    But if she just didn't get it, she just didn't get it.

    To me, it was intuitive. One of Baby S's first words was "There you go." (It was kind of pronounced "Day-oo-go"). He knew only a handful of words then. I was not fooled into thinking that this was his first sentence. It was intuitive to me that, to him, it was a sound that represented him showing me an object, or me showing him an object. It was not three words. It was a multi-syllabic sound.

    Mean things that stay with you--my dad once told me I'd never be anything special because I got a C on a chemistry test. Although I do think that was the worst thing I ever heard. I was pretty lucky.

    ETA: Geez, you guys move fast. I think there were about 6 or 7 posts while I was writing this. It's obsolete now.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 02-07-2012 at 09:25 PM.


  13. #28153
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    You would be amazed at how many people are confused by that, though, and would consider "There you go" to be a three-word sentence when spoken by a child with extremely limited communication. I have to work to get to the bottom of it.

    I read a developmental history form that said a child said his first word at 9 months and also began speaking in phrases at 9 months. But didn't have a 5 word vocabulary until 2 years. You know something isn't right...

    L, I can't imagine someone saying that to you about a Chemistry test. But I suspect you're like me, and that sort of comment just makes you want to prove to that person how wrong they are.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #28154

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    I have never been to Ikea. I want to go, but the thought overwhelms me. I am not a shopper. The closest one is at least 3 hours away. I could sure use some organization though!
    AKA Lisa724

  15. #28155
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    I could write a book on all the horrible things I heard growing up. It doesn't matter though. It made me the kind of person that doesn't take 'no' for an answer on anything, because like you said Mandy, it made me want to show them they were wrong.

    I'll tell you the saddest thing I heard from my mother's side was, "You have to be really smart to go to college." It wasn't said maliciously or in a way to try to make us (myself, brother, cousins) feel bad. My grandmother, aunts & uncles actually thought people that went to college had superior intelligence. Now that I've done it, they still think that. They don't believe I'm just of average intelligence at all. They think I'm near genius. Maybe not genius-but I think you know what I mean. They're convinced I'm a lot smarter than they are and that I must get that from my dad's side of the family. It's not true, but I don't know how to convince them of that.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 02-08-2012 at 06:16 AM.

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    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #28156

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    I can't recall any horrible things that were said to me growing up. Everything I can remember was always very positive. I guess I was/am very lucky.
    AKA Lisa724

  17. #28157

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    I don't remember anything specifically mean being said to me. I do think that my mom's general disgust and anger at my average grades made me hate school (the academic part, loved the social part) and not ever even want to try. But I have no hard feelings. She did the best she could. I look back on my childhood as mostly happy memories.

    Sawyer has started to kiss and hug us. It is the sweetest thing ever. For his kisses he just leans with his lips pursed and goes right for the lips lol! And his hugs are all out arms around the neck and tight squeeze. Such a great feeling to get hugs and kisses from your baby!! I totally forgive him now for waking me up nurse about 15 times a night this week. *yawn*

  18. #28158

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    Baby hugs are the best! Asher is a wicked cuddlebug, he puts his head right down and buries his little face in your neck. I definitely feel your pain on the nursing 15 times a night though! Thank goodness for cosleeping!
    AKA Lisa724

  19. #28159

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    Yes, indeed. I don't know how I would function if I actually had to get up and down all night. I just stick my boob in his mouth and fall back asleep!

  20. #28160

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    You would be amazed at how many people are confused by that, though, and would consider "There you go" to be a three-word sentence when spoken by a child with extremely limited communication. I have to work to get to the bottom of it.

    I read a developmental history form that said a child said his first word at 9 months and also began speaking in phrases at 9 months. But didn't have a 5 word vocabulary until 2 years. You know something isn't right...
    At Gilly's 2 year appt, the pedi only asked if he was saying 5 words, and he was. But he was stuck on the phrases
    "what's that?" and "where'd it go" he said those 2 phrases for several months. We finally did speech therapy when G was 2.5, and it helped him a lot. We only went for 4 months, we had an insurance issue, but the SP's advice and tips helped me, help him at home. Now he's talking non-stop. It's hard for me to remember when he couldn't communicate. Mandy, your post the other day about seeing your clients again, makes me want to stop in and see his SP, and show her how much progress he has made. It's been 1 year since she saw him.

    I am so not a shopper, I get that from my mom who loathed shopping-well except grocery shopping. I made the big mistake of running to Publix last sunday-dummy me forgot it was SuperBowl Sunday-oy the store was crammed with people. My city this time of year actually drives me crazy, we have a lot of snow birds down here, and they all drive so slowly!!! The weather is nice, which is why people are here, so I like to go out and about, but I have to contend with all the traffic.

    I don't remember any mean comment from childhood, if it did happen I probably blocked it out. I tend to do that, only remember the good times. Except it seems when it comes to my MIL, I remember all her snarky comments to me.

    baby snuggles are the best, mmmm. Around here, I get all excited if I ask G for a hug and kiss and he replies "sure" sometimes he will smile and say "no it's closed, maybe tomorrow"

    Remember that post L shared about the best toys for kids are sticks and rocks, leaves etc. Well I had to laugh the other day because Gilly found this bungee cord in the back of the pickup, and he played with it for hours. We sat on the tailgate while G "fished" with the bungee, he caught my flip flops and his rainboots. He had the best time ever. Then last night he found a plastic food scale, it's round, so G was pretending it was a spaceship, flying it around the house. He loved that thing so much, he took it to bed with him last night. I am just loving this age, his imagination amazes me every day. I swear I was not this smart at his age!!!
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  21. #28161

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    I remember during a time when I wasn't really doing well in school my mom pulled out her college or maybe high school report cards. She never got anything lower than a B. I don't know what showing me those was supposed to accomplish but it has stuck with me.

    Also I have always been pretty low maintenance as far as makeup, outfits, etc. Well I must have been in middle or high school when she told me I had to keep up with my appearance better or people wouldn't want to associate with me. I took that to mean she didn't think I was pretty enough or something when I think she just meant I should brush my hair more often. But I remember being really appalled that she was being so superficial.

    Does anyone remember when Seventeen magazine used to publish photo shoots at high schools? (Idk, maybe they still do) I used to obsess over those pages and think I wasn't as pretty as the average high schooler, when in reality they all probably got a couple hours in hair and makeup before the shoot.
    Last edited by daylilies; 02-08-2012 at 08:06 AM. Reason: haven't had my coffee yet

  22. #28162
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    I don't like to shop, but end up doing most of it because DH hates it worse, and getting him to buy stuff is like pulling teeth. Not only do I have to give him a list, I have to specify quantity, otherwise he'd come home with two onions (pretty much everything I make has onions in it ) and 15 heads of Broccoli. The one place I love to linger is a home improvement store. I just like looking at tiles and hardwood and faucets and stuff.

    My parents were never mean, really. Two incidents I remember though. I must've been 7 or 8 and dad decided he would help me with my math. Mom was the one who always helped. He asked me to bring my textbook, my workbook and scratch paper, which I did, putting one inside the other to save my place in the books. So he asks me again ro come back when I had all three things, and I kept trying to give him the one bundle in my hands. Finally, he said that if I didn't fet it right away, he was going to give me a kick in my pants, and when I stood there insisting I had everything, he did! It disn't hurt physically, but the unfairness stung A LOT (as a kid, I had no problems taking my punishment as long as I had done something to deserve it; when dad tried to be all sympathetic once when mom had punished me and I was crying, I actually stood up for her and said that she only did it for my own good, and that I had deserved it).

    The other time, this was when I was 11 or 12, I came home with a 97 on my math test, and dad asked where the other three points were. Shortly after that, my brother and I found HIS marks. He basically scraped by, not a spare point to be seen. He never asked me that sort of thing about my grades again.

    Mandy, I was talking to some friends last night, and stuff Mira says came up in the course of the conversation. They kept saying 'Mira says that? Maggie doesn't', regerring to another friend's 3 year old. Apparently, multiple people have told them that maybe they should have her evaluated. She is active, curious, friendly, affectionate, but will not talk except on her terms. Like, she found a stuffed toy someone had dropped, came up to them and said 'Look, a puppy!'. That was it. Any further attempts to talk about the toy she found or puppies was met with a whole lot of nothing. She doesn't show much interest in books, pictures, etc. and has a limited vocabulary. The mom looked up stuff on the internet and decided the kid was just fine (my friends came to a different conclusion) and won't seek an evaluation. In the meantime, she failed the entrance to the Montessori they were planning on sending her to, and she says she'll homeschool the kid. Her idea of that is to work with her for half an hour, every other day. I just feel bad for the kid.

  23. #28163
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    I love shopping but hate the big crowds of people. One thing that I used to never really bother about that I do now is shoe shopping. Growing up in Arkansas, I only ever wore shoes to school and in shops, so I never really cared what shoes I wore. I still do prefer to be barefoot, but I have discovered shoe shopping since moving to the UK and I have some nice boots, pumps and shoes.

    I was going to try to post a long post, but the kids are home now and Travis is demanding that I make him some pancakes, so I better go do that before I get attacked by 2 hungry hippos!

  24. #28164

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    I didn't realize how well DD spoke until her daycare expanded and there were other kids close to her age around. She's almost 33 months and basically speaks like an adult. I can have a normal conversation with her now and it amazes me. And she corrects herself if she says something wrong or phrases something wrong. She's going to give me a run for my money though because she catches on too fast!
    AKA Lisa724

  25. #28165
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    Travis was like that with talking, too. He'll be 4 in May and he still talks like a little old man. For example, we'll be driving along and from the back seat, he asks, "Is everyone OK up there?" LOL. He spoke a lot more than Cash does at his age. I know you're not supposed to compare your kids, but I do. Travis at 17 months could say things like, "Where daddy go?" or "This mummy car." Cash has a few words but has not put any together yet. One thing Cash is really good at, though, is singing. He can hum twinkle twinkle little star and bah bah black sheep as well as that theme music that Finn McMissile comes out to in Cars2 at the beginning of the movie. I'm really impressed with his musical ability.

    Going back to the subject of parents saying things that stick with us, I can remember the one and only time I ever made a D! It was on a pop quiz in English and I accidentally conjugated the verb go by saying "has went" instead of "has gone." I had to get my dad to sign it and he looked at me and said someething like he couldn't believe I'd done that. I never did forget it's "has gone" after that! And I still cringe when I read it if other people write it that way!

  26. #28166

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    I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

    I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
    My dad is pretty great.

  27. #28167

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

    I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
    My dad is pretty great.
    I guess we know where you get your awesomeness
    AKA Lisa724

  28. #28168

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    My parents were never mean, but they had a sort of gallows humor about things. It's also perhaps in our cultural psyche to tease. My mom comes from a province that eats dogs, for example, and though she'd only tasted it once, my dad used to call her "The Dogeater" now and then. She'd just giggle and roll her eyes. My dad was a chemical engineer, so that made him my chemistry tutor by default. He one time was so frustrated with me, he slapped his hand on the table and shouted, "I can't believe YOU'RE my daughter". I just said, "Oh yeah? Well maybe I'm not! Hah!" That pretty much broke his irritation with me and he smirked. To be fair, it was really hard on him to tutor me in English when it wasn't his first language.

    Bridget, I am going to completely steal that from your father. That's so true. And bravo to him for voicing a fundamental thing all parents should say to their kids.
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-09-2012 at 06:37 AM.

  29. #28169

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

    I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
    My dad is pretty great.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  30. #28170

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    Aww Bridget.

    So I had a messed up kind of day! I totally forgot Josh didn't have school, so I had 2 dr. appts. I had to bring Josh to. One was my therapist-I sure didn't get into many deep thoughts with Josh bouncing around. But I had to leave early anyway for my other appt, which I thought was with a GI (gastroentrologist). It was my first appt. so I filled out the paperwork with my GI problems in mind. Cited "frequent diarrhea" as the reason I was there. I got in there and met the dr. and told him I'd been having digestion issues and he said "So you've come to a neurologist?" *facepalm*

    Turned out this is the guy I was supposed to be going to for my shunt, because it hasn't been checked up on in years, but he explained I'd be better off going to a neurosurgeon for that, which he is not, and furthermore, if I was not having any symptoms like headaches, vision problems, etc. then everything should be fine and dandy anyway and not to worry about it.

    On the way out I crossed out "frequent diarrhea" on my paperwork and filled in "follow up on shunt"
    Last edited by daylilies; 02-08-2012 at 01:53 PM. Reason: still haven't had coffee today

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