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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #28021
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    Fingers still crossed for you, Mandy. Good luck for Monday!

    Josh is such a sweety, Kate!

  2. #28022

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    So after the brownies cooled he wanted to write a message on them in icing. He said "Dear Dad I hope you feel better soon, Love Joshua" I told him that was a bit long to fit on the brownies and I told him "Get well soon" was the customary message you give to sick people. He seemed okay with that.

  3. #28023

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    That is so cute and wonderful that Josh is thinking so much about his dad. See, you're doing something right!

    Yesterday my bff came over. Her oldest (6) is handful. I blame his dad (her jerk husband). He uses intimidation to discipline the kids. So the boy walks around like he is angry and he tries to be really intimidating to Kai. I walked into my kitchen to see the boy with his fists clenched, towering over Kai in a very aggressive manner. Kai was sort of cowering away from him. This was after a half dozen times of either one of my kids or his little sister coming to tell us something he had done or said that made them sad. I told Kai to go in the other room with my friend and I knelt down in front of her son and told him to look at my eyes. I used my sternest voice and said, "You listen very carefully to me. This attitude that you are walking around my house with and this angry face that you have on it stops now. This behavior is not allowed at my house. You have been here before. Do you remember my rules?" He nodded. I said, "Turn around. Go downstairs into my closet. Look in there until you find something that is interesting to you and bring it to me. Do not go in my laundry room. Do not break anything. (He had already broken our baby gate, knocked a painting off the wall, tore down the canopy I have hanging over our play kitchen.) Do you understand?"
    He said yes and went down and found a magnet kit and brought it to me. Would you believe he was practically perfect the rest of the time here? It's like he craves limits. I love him but I'll be danged if I let anyone bully my Kai.

  4. #28024
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    Kate, that is just awesome about Josh. What a sweetheart

    Bridget, I feel bad for the boy that he's raised in an environment and doesn't know any better, but you handled it perfectly. I hate, hate, hate 'talking to' other people's kids but occasions have warranted it and I've found the same thing to be true no matter how old the kid is. If you're direct, clear, and firm they're generally ok and almost relieved.

    There are two clear exceptions that I can recall. At Bobbie's 17th bday party one of her friends shoved Conner from the couch to the floor. I spoke to her and she left. I couldn't convince her to come back so I had Bobbie call her grandparents to come pick her up off the road. Another time, a 14-ish-year-old kid was riding his bike at the park where I was running and every time he went around he'd skid stones at me. Speaking to him like an adult didn't work, so the 3rd time I threatened to kick him off his bicycle if he did it again. Wouldn't you know, the next time he came around he just nodded and from that point on we were on friendly "hello, how are you doing?" terms.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #28025

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    I feel like I can't take much credit for Josh. He's just a good kid. I get comments a lot from his friends' parents that they hear Josh say nice things and he has quite a following on the playground. I know he's a great kid. Why is it that I can take credit for his crazy behavior and not his good behavior?

    I feel bad for that kid who has learned to be aggressive. It sounds like you handled him well though Bridget.

    Chrissy I get it that not all teenagers like little kids but that was rude of her to put her hands on Connor.

  6. #28026
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I feel like I can't take much credit for Josh. He's just a good kid. I get comments a lot from his friends' parents that they hear Josh say nice things and he has quite a following on the playground. I know he's a great kid. Why is it that I can take credit for his crazy behavior and not his good behavior?

    I feel bad for that kid who has learned to be aggressive. It sounds like you handled him well though Bridget.

    Chrissy I get it that not all teenagers like little kids but that was rude of her to put her hands on Connor.
    I have that same issue Kate-I feel like I was lucky with my kids. One of the worst things Bobbie ever said to me was that I blamed them when they made mistakes but took credit for all their achievements. Nothing could be further from the truth. I've never said or felt that ever.

    And yeah, that teenager that shoved Conner really got an earful. I probably scared her because I marched right at her, pointing and yelling. I was furious. I lost it, but even now looking back I know I'd do it again. She was 17 and knew better.

    I will say she's the only teenager I've ever met that had an issue with Conner. All the other friends get along great with him. It's been amazing.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #28027

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    I'm thinking I would have reacted that way too, Chrissy. It's one thing when a young child cannot control their impulses but she was practically and adult. How did your girl's react to that?

    Lemme run this scenario by you all. Dbf has this guy he met a while back and they share the hobby of saltwater aquariums so they've gone to some trade shows together and traded things between each other and formed a friendship. Dbf keeps saying how he wants me to meet the girlfriend so that we can all hang out sometime. So yesterday the guy came over with his girlfriend. They walked in the front door and i said, "Hello! Welcome!" I was sitting on the couch with all three kids. She looked at me, didn't smile or say hello, then looked away and walked over to the fish tank where she chatted with dbf like they were old pals. I was totally taken aback that she didn't even acknowledge me! In my own home! My first instinct was that maybe she was shy but she certainly talked up a storm to dbf. At one point dbf left the room and they guy turned to me and was asking me about the daycare and trying to converse but the girl just kept her back to me and her attention on the fishtank.

    After she left I told dbf that she rubbed me the wrong way and that i don't appreciate someone coming to my house and not acknowledging me or my children.
    Dbf thinks she probably did not mean to be rude and thinks she is just shy but I don't buy that, really. She only met him once before and was very talkative to him. Also, I am shy around people I don't know and I would never in million years walk into someone's house and not greet them and introduce myself. I'm not shedding any tears over a lost friendship here but am I wrong or is that just poor manners?

  8. #28028

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    That is totally weird Bridget!

  9. #28029

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    Rude, and really strange! She's sounds like at the very least, she has issues with other women.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  10. #28030
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    Bobbie was actually very angry with me and thought I overreacted. Her sisters, however, were mad at her for not being more protective of her little brother. We all saw it happen, but Bobbie tried to minimize what her friend had done.

    As for that chick, she was way out of line and if that happened here, I'd think that she had the hots for my dbf and was jealous of you. In fact, something like that did happen to us a few years ago. There was a girl that was one of Tim's friends gf. She got a flat tire in front of our house and Rich offered to change it for her. After that, she'd always wave at Rich but never at me. If she saw Rich outside she'd stop in but as soon as I showed up she'd give me a cool look and have to leave. If I wasn't home, she'd stick around until I got home. Rich was beside himself not knowing what to do about her. I laughed and called her his gf.

    She couldn't say that she didn't wave at me because she didn't recognize my car either because at the time we had a minivan that was covered in sunflowers (painted on) and was recognizable from a mile away. She never once waved at me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #28031
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    Yeah, Bridget, that is weird. I can remember meeting Rich's friends for the first time when I first moved over (and their wives as well) and I always tried my best to converse with them and I am one of the quietest people in the world. I have a hard time making small talk with people but I certainly do try.

  12. #28032
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    Aww Josh is so sweet!


    Ummm, it could really either go either way. It could be she is just rude or it could be shy and didn't really know how to relate to you with the kids and stuff. I can be pretty shy at least at first in person. But get me talking about something I'm really into, usually my dogs and I turn chatty. I do try to make some small talk. But maybe she has something off with her in social skills? Last time my mom was complaining about someone being really weird and rude, I was like didn't you know she has aspergers? Mom didn't know but said that explained a lot.

    Speaking of my girls, I have just finally fallen in love with Molly this weekend. She hasn't bite me once all weekend and is just so sweet and loving and cute. And she hasn't eaten any poo. I loved her before (though it took a while) but now I am really feeling attached to her. It's like something clicked and she is finally getting the house rules. Snuggling is so much nicer when someone isn't trying to bite you. Still a lot of training left but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Last edited by Cosmosmom; 02-05-2012 at 12:06 PM.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #28033

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    I'm glad Molly is settling in Jennifer!

    As you guys know, I like to say I'm pretty socially inept. But if I were over someone's house for the first time even if I was just tagging along with DH I'd do my best to be friendly to the people who lived there. Maybe she was in a bad mood or didn't want to be there for whatever reason but wow I've never been in such a bad mood that I ignored someone who welcomed me into their home. And the fact that she was chatty with your dbf but not you or your kids makes it worse.

    I was bored earlier and I looked up on facebook our former neighbors when we lived in Tennessee about 10 years ago. Their son was about Josh's age when we knew them so of course he's about 15 now but it was still a shock, seeing the pictures. I feel old.

  14. #28034
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    That happens to me too...even though I have kids that have grown, I'm still surprised when i see others that have as well. It's like I expect time to stand still for them or something.

  15. #28035
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    The Giants win!!!! YAY!!!!!

    Kidlet starts new school tomorrow. I'm nervous, and hope she has an easy transition. This also means my days of sleeping in are over. Sadcakes!

  16. #28036

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    Aww! I hope your DD likes the new school Suja!

    I'm bummed that the Pats lost, of course, but I don't care that much about football. I just have pride for my city.

  17. #28037

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    Just popping in to say for your beta tomorrow, Mandy!!! to you!



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  18. #28038
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Oh yeah, I kind of heard that there was a football game on or something today. I even knew who was playing, which is more than I can say for my dh. That must have been the reason our neighbor Crackie was dancing out on the street all day today-- not that he needs a reason.

    I met Krystal5 and her DD Maiya out at one of our regional parks yesterday. The weather was lovely. We left our husbands at home. While we were out, my dh built this awesome organizer (from Ikea) for the kids' room. I am beyond thrilled with it.



    Ever since we realized we couldn't sell our house and move somewhere bigger and better in this market, I've been trying to think of ways to make the most of our tiny house, and I've been brainstorming on how to make the nursery a little more space efficient and transition it more into a room where the twins will be able to hang out and do their school work later on, as they enter grade school. I started out with the bunk bed, and I got them a little table with two chairs, and we are going to install a couple of shelves over the table to hold paper and art supplies for the time being. Everything is more complicated because we have to keep certain things out of reach of Baby S. With this shelving system, we put all of the board books within his reach and all of the big-kid books and other things on higher shelves. I was able to even get some games and puzzles out of various closets so they will be more accessible. I am so excited!

    Here is a picture of me with all three kids on me like a 3D puzzle on our playdate that I wanted to share because I think it's hilarious. Krystal5's DD is standing in front of us but I couldn't pick her up right then too.



    Suja, I can't imagine you sleeping in. You seem like a really hard worker, dawn til dusk. I hope the transition goes well for you.

    Bridget, I saw your post in NM and I don't know what advice to offer you. My kids do ask about doing something if the other one got to, but they never count so many pages or things like that. I (and my mom) take turns with them. Like tonight, I was putting together the bins for that Ikea shelving unit, and they really wanted to do it with me. So DD helped me with one, and then DS wanted to help me too. So I said that only one could help me at a time and DD helped me last time so it could be DS's turn next time. But he kind of lost interest halfway through, and DD finished it and then did the last one with me, so she got to do a lot more than he did. If they start squabbling too much over something, I don't let anyone do it or have it. I just put it away. If they start squabbling too much with each other, I ask that they play separately if they can't play together nicely, and have them go play in separate rooms. They have been fighting a lot over helping me cook dinner lately, so I tell them one can help me cook dinner one night, and then another can help me cook another night (because I cannot cook if both of them 'help'). There is no talk about fairness, ever. We talk about taking turns, and sharing, and sometimes those turns do not involve the same thing. Sometimes one turn involves someone getting something he wants and the other person waiting, and then the other person gets something she wants, and the other person waiting. It's not always the same thing, or even something equitable. Mine haven't ever even thought about comparing things equally yet. And I hope they don't start.


  19. #28039

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    It didn't start so much until Savana started school.
    Love that shelf. I need that in every room of my house.

  20. #28040
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    That's a great shelf, L.

    I'll keep you all posted about the beta. I have to call first thing and they will put in an order at the lab. I can't call until after I start work, though (I start earlier than they do, or just about the same time) and I won't be able to leave work right away to do it because I have appointments all morning and one from 1-2:30. So either I'll do the bloodwork tomorrow afternoon, or Tuesday morning. So we'll all have to keep practicing our patience, myself included. No AF yet - she's due tomorrow based on date of ovulation after the trigger shot.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #28041
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    Good luck with the beta today, Mandy!

    That's a great photo, L! I thought I did well carrying 2 kids around some times!

  22. #28042
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Just popping in to say for your beta tomorrow, Mandy!!! to you!
    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    That's a great shelf, L.

    I'll keep you all posted about the beta. I have to call first thing and they will put in an order at the lab. I can't call until after I start work, though (I start earlier than they do, or just about the same time) and I won't be able to leave work right away to do it because I have appointments all morning and one from 1-2:30. So either I'll do the bloodwork tomorrow afternoon, or Tuesday morning. So we'll all have to keep practicing our patience, myself included. No AF yet - she's due tomorrow based on date of ovulation after the trigger shot.
    Eek-this suspense!!!!

    L-that pic is adorable of you with all your babes hanging off you! I love it!! That bookshelf is great too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #28043

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    Love the shelf and the picture!
    We have a shelf like that but I've been keeping the toys in labeled green buckets in each space which has not really been working out since Josh can't read yet. Right now it's all in a pile in the dining room because we're painting the living room. We should be able to finish that this coming weekend and then we need to majorly reorganize Josh's things.


    Good luck Mandy!

  24. #28044
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    L that shelf is great!

    Mandy fingers are so crossed for you. How you had the strength not to try a test yourself this morning is beyond me.

    I'm thinking of changing my name to coughsalot. Not really but I'm starting to annoy myself already. Cold is mostly gone but this is when my asthma rears it's ugly head and I start with this coughing bs. And I realized yesterday that my inhaler expired March of last year. Ooops. Can tell I only use it like once a year. Good thing is that I'm at work so I called the doc's office and they are calling in a new inhaler for me....so later on I will just walk to the other side of the hospital and pick it up. Hopefully the generic isn't too much money because my insurance changed and I pay everything (high deductible with an HSA) and not a copay....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #28045

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    Sorry Jennifer! A persistent cough really sucks!

  26. #28046
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    Feel better Jennifer!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #28047
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    No need for a beta. AF came this morning, along with incredibly painful cramps. Everything about this cycle has been about x100 in intensity.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #28048
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    dammit I'm sorry.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #28049
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    Oh no Mandy I'm so sorry.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #28050

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    I'm sorry Mandy

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