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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #27961

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Even at 4.5 months old, she needs a lot of supervision and it's like, ok what does Molly have in her mouth now.... The first four weeks, I did feel like I was going to go crazy....she was little so didn't sleep through the night. But unlike a baby, when she cried, I had to ignore it lest I teach her that crying gets her out of her kennel (exception was to go potty of course). Took a while before she knew her name or really any words like no or sit.....yet was mobile and curious.

    Definitely easier now that she knows some things and sleeps all night. Will be even better when she stops biting and stops eating naughty stuff (tissue out of the bathroom garbage, Cosmo poo (we do pick it up but Cosmo runs into the litter so fast and Molly is right behind her faster than we are)...chewing on my couch though the apple bitter spray seems to have helped that.
    Puppies are super hard! I wish I still had the picture of my friend's black lab mix, "Bruce", as a puppy sitting in front of a pile of leather and stuffing that used to be Grampa's chair. Oh my! He had the most adorable little hangdog expression when they caught him; it would have been impossible to be mad at him. I have another picture of Bruce fast asleep ...with his head hanging through the stair rails because watching his family eat supper proved too tiring for him.

    You just reminded me about the first couple of nights we brought home our bigger dog. He was maybe 7 months old, so almost fully grown, but still in need of crate training. He howled the first night nearly ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I totally forgot. I CIO'd with my dog.

    Actually, the thing that got him to stop crying from his crate was me sticking my head out the bedroom door at 2 am, shouting "Cut it out!" each time he'd start to whine. Like, I cut him off the second he made a peep. DH was amazed that it worked. Either I had the touch, or our big boy's a fast learner.

    Maybe you could let puppy Molly drag her leash around the house so she starts to get used to it?

  2. #27962

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    You ladies are reminding me of how Ky used to act when he was younger with the constant tantruming if you told him "no." He would just freak out. I would dread saying the word and actually stopped using "no" and instead would find a synonym for no or use extra words just so I wouldn't say it. But it didn't work and he would still freak out.

    It is amazing to me that he doesn't do that anymore. He is still very sensitive though and emotional. Today he had big glassy puppy dog eyes when I picked up him and DH. He didn't want to tell me what was wrong but eventually we figured out he was sad that DH didn't buy him a snack. Elle being her typical 3 year old self kept talking about how she had a snack. She had an orange so Ky got all upset and yelled at her to stop talking about her snack and tears started running down his eyes and I was like "um....you can have an orange too..." I think he just wanted some junk food from the store since DH usually will get him whatever he wants when they get "snacks." If he was younger he would have screamed and hollered outside about it. I'm glad he doesn't do that anymore and honestly it just magically stopped between kindergarten and first grade, that is when he just got visibly emotional instead of all out flailing crazy. DH said later that we should "take something from him" because Ky was mad he didn't get a snack, which I thought was crazy since he didn't get what he wanted anyway, plus he really doesn't have much "stuff" to take. DH said he was being a "spoiled brat" but Ky rarely gets things he wants just because he wants them and honestly he doesn't ask for anything. Plus it is funny to me because DH is very emotional too and is prone to adult temper tantrums. His are worse than Ky's so I am thinking I will tell him I need to take something from him too.

    I've never heard about the dog story and Mitt Romney. I actually feel that the GOP would be crazy to not let Romney run versus the other people in the pack. He is the least crazy IMO and since he likes to strap dogs on top of cars, that right there is telling you something.

    Also on the SGK thing, I read on a political form I'm on, where the majority are all railing against SGK, that PP has now gotten enough donations to cover what SGK was giving them from the public, so that is great. Also that some local offices of SGK are still going to give their money to PP. And I learned that SGK is frowned upon in the cancer community because they are always suing people for using "find the cure" in other cancer organizations. Also that only 20% of the money they collect goes to research or outreach, which is appalling considering how much money they take in per year. Their CEO makes 500K per year and they spend over 50% of the money they get on their employees' salaries and consulting fees.

    Erin

  3. #27963
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I've never heard about the dog story and Mitt Romney. I actually feel that the GOP would be crazy to not let Romney run versus the other people in the pack. He is the least crazy IMO and since he likes to strap dogs on top of cars, that right there is telling you something.

    Erin
    Between this and thinking about telling your dh that you ought to take something away from him, you made me lol I you!!

    I had a couple ok days, and I'm back to feeling very anxious and wanting to cry about my job. I want the next week to drag on forever because I just don't feel ready for this. I'm such a wimp.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #27964

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    You guys are not making me want a puppy so much anymore I think one would be great for Josh but I'm not sure I could handle one.

    Hugs Chrissy! You really will be fine.

  5. #27965
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    I always recommend an adult dog from a rescue that fosters for people looking for dogs, especially if they have kids. Less work overall, and a pre-screened adult has less variables.

  6. #27966
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    Chrissy.

    Jennifer, this is a local service where I live but is there something similar in your area? We used them twice, first on the day of my wedding when all my family was at the wedding and no one was available to go check on the dogs. Second time we used them, I had them watch the animals when DH was in Florida and I went to visit. We are incredibly happy with them. We told them we wanted a certain number of visits per day, and the woman came over first to meet the animals and learn the routine and the layout of the house. She fed them, played with them, brushed them, and even took my trash out to the curb on trash day! If you had a service like that near you, you could schedule 30 minutes or even an hour for them to come play with Molly and then she'd be fine in her crate until you came home. Especially if she got to meet them in advance and they brought treats (like they did for us).
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #27967

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I always recommend an adult dog from a rescue that fosters for people looking for dogs, especially if they have kids. Less work overall, and a pre-screened adult has less variables.

    We are considering that too but we thought if we got a puppy it would be more in our control of how it turned out rather than getting a dog with possible issues from being abandoned, abused, etc.

  8. #27968
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    We are considering that too but we thought if we got a puppy it would be more in our control of how it turned out rather than getting a dog with possible issues from being abandoned, abused, etc.
    That's why it's important to get from either a rescue that fosters dogs (so you know what the dog is like), or from a responsible breeder that breeds for temperament, does the appropriate health tests, works or shows the dog (so you know it's going to look/act like the breed is supposed to )etc. Often, people get random bred dogs as puppies, thinking they can influence behavior, and while that is true to some extent, the role genetics pay cannot be ignored.

  9. #27969

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    That's why it's important to get from either a rescue that fosters dogs (so you know what the dog is like), or from a responsible breeder that breeds for temperament, does the appropriate health tests, works or shows the dog (so you know it's going to look/act like the breed is supposed to )etc. Often, people get random bred dogs as puppies, thinking they can influence behavior, and while that is true to some extent, the role genetics pay cannot be ignored.
    Good to know-thanks

  10. #27970

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    Erin, I think it's so funny that your dh is acting that way. He does need something taken away from him, lol.

    Oh wow all this puppy talk reminds me what it is like to have a puppy. How quickly I have forgotten. We adopted 2 Dachshund puppies once, and it was so much work. I remember thinking this is what mother of twins go through!! They would wake up in the evening and romp around, and you could tell they were thinking what can I get into?! I had a huge fat cat at the time, he would jump into the kitchen where we kept the puppies, and the pups would jump on him, drag him around by his neck. My cat was such a cool laid back dude, he loved the attention. Aw those pups turn 15 next week, they are my dad's dogs. They live in Idaho, so I never see them anymore. I miss them.

    Chrissy, sorry you're feeling this way. How long have you worked at your current job? I always hate starting a new job. I feel a huge pit in my stomach.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  11. #27971
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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Chrissy, sorry you're feeling this way. How long have you worked at your current job? I always hate starting a new job. I feel a huge pit in my stomach.
    Just 4 years. And I'm not nervous about my new job. I'm sure I'll like it and the people. I'm having a hard time leaving my current position and some people I hold in great affection.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #27972

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    I know I say this all the time Erin but it is absolutely crazy the similarities between our SO's. Dbf always saying, "She/He should lose something" whenever the kids act up. I'm always asking him how that is relevent to the situation at hand? I alway laugh to myself when he says that because I figure if he thinks they should lose something then he should get up off his dooper and make it happen.

    Chrissy, change is hard. Whenever I am in a situation where the anticipation of change is making me anxious, I like to look back and review all of the other times I felt that way and realize that I got through it all and am all the better for it.

    I attempted thurs night dinner and Sawyer screamed all the way home. My poor little bumpkin. He's such an incredibly happy little dude that listening to him scream back there is especially heart wrenching.

    Today I looked at my hand while I was patting Sawyer's back and i was so startled at how much it looked my mom's hands. It made me smile. I miss her so much. It's her birthday on saturday.

    Oh! My brother got a new job as a director of a preschool. I'm so happy for him.

  13. #27973

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    Congrats to you brother about his job!! That is so exciting. I didn't know he was into early childhood education as well. It would be cool if you two got along well enough to open a center together.

    And I think your DBF and my DH are really similar to based on what we share. My DH is very charismatic and yours seems the same. I bet they would get along great. My DH gets along with most guys though as long as they aren't staunch republicans politically he is okay. They could both b!tch about their women together LOL! I would eaves drop and we could giggle at them!

    Our bigger dog still cries like a puppy and he is almost 3 years old. DH treats him like a baby though and the dog, Bruno, really only likes DH IMO. Our older dog we found on the street and the vet said he was about 6-7 months old when we got him and he is just a wonderful dog. Very sweet and always trying to please us, very quiet and such. We didn't have to go through the worst of the puppy stages with him and house training was easy with him as well compared to Bruno. I have already told DH that if we ever get another dog I'd rather get an adult from a rescue and no more puppies. I always feel bad for the older dogs.

    Erin

  14. #27974

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    We are considering that too but we thought if we got a puppy it would be more in our control of how it turned out rather than getting a dog with possible issues from being abandoned, abused, etc.
    IMHO, second chance dogs are the most loyal, grateful, sweet pups ever. I've spoken to others who have both first-time owned and rescued dogs and they seem to have made the same observation. It's true, that abandoned dogs could have issues that need effort and attention, but it's so rewarding once they turn that corner. All I know is that our doggie that we brought home from the pound was ker-azy when we got him at 7-months. Granted, he's still nervous around other dogs when he's on-leash, and we did have to take him to two levels of obedience training, but he's the gentlest, biggest, bestest loverboy ever now. I honestly think he's thankful for us in comparison to whatever sad situation he came from. The L.A. pound is a horrible place to abandon a dog to.

    (We rescued our other dog too, but we think she was a well-loved escape artist who got away from a caring owner, because she was very well groomed and affectionate when they found her wiggling down Venice Blvd.)
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-02-2012 at 11:07 PM.

  15. #27975

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    Congrats to your brother, Bridget.

    That's so sweet that you saw your mom's hands in yours. The only thing I seemed to inherit from my mom are my freckles, so I love them.

  16. #27976

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    I would love to open a center with my brother. It would be like a dream come true. Many years ago we worked in a center together in one of the "worst" neighborhoods in our area. We always said we should run the place because the people who ran it kind of sucked. I say worst in quotes because it was a really rundown poor area but the crime rate was not high and the sense of community in that neighborhood always really touched me. They all loved us there because we were so young and energetic and adored the kids we took care of. I will never forget one night being at a local hip hop show and running into a bunch of the mama's from the daycare and as we walked away we overheard them telling their friends that we were "the hippy kids" that took care of their babies. lol We've discussed running our own place several times.

    I think dogs are so much work. I am sure that I don't have it in me to have a dog right now. Dbf would love one but I say no every time he brings it up.

    And yes Erin, I would get a giggle to hear what dbf would say about me. I know i am hard on him but I don't feel bad about it because he needs me to be. Did I tell y'all I stopped doing his laundry 2 weeks ago because he said some crazy rude stuff to me. Well ****ed if he has not even noticed! Wth? Now I am so sick of looking at his pile of laundry down there that I just started doing it today. So much for that grand statement lol.

    Jennifer, I forgot to say that I hope you can work something out for Molly and that Cosmo's problems are not too extensive.

    Where is our Lydia? Hope everything is ok wherever you are!
    Last edited by Bridget; 02-02-2012 at 08:17 PM.

  17. #27977

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    Noooooooo, you shouldn't have given up about the laundry!

    I stopped doing DH's laundry a few months ago. I did tell him though that I wasn't doing his laundry anymore because he was always complaining about how I did it, plus he has a ton of clothes, more than me and Elle put together so I stopped. It took him over a month to wash them himself and he had to ask Ky how to use our washer, which we have had for over 3 years, it was pretty funny. He kept giving me dirty looks but that has really taken a load off of me.

    I started a trend that anytime DH complains about something I do for him, then I will stop doing said thing if I feel the complaint was unnecessary. He used to complain about the way I fold his clothes . He also used to complain about the amount of food I used to put on his plate when I used to be nice and make his plate for him at BBQs or something. That was the first thing I stopped doing for him. To this day when we go to older ladies' houses they will ask me if I'm going to make a plate for him and I say no and they give me a dirty look like how I am a horrible wife or something for not making his plate. He will then go on and on about how I don't "care about my man" LOL so I will tell them how he used to complain about it and they will start giving him dirty looks and lecture him on being grateful for things that people do for him. He will usually find a way to leave the room. One of these situations happened about a week ago and it was still as hilarious as the first time it happened.

    Erin

  18. #27978
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    Erin, I you.

    Where is L? I was wondering, too.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #27979
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    DH said to me tonight, "What's the status of the triplets?"

    After making fun of me last night for wanting to test...
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #27980
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I am here, about to go to bed. Sorry I've been absent. I've been trying to read here and there, but I'm sure I've been missing posts. I tried to catch up while pumping gas today on my way between work and preschool today.

    I have been super-busy the past week. My other volunteer job caught up to me and I had to go to some meetings and put together and publish a newsletter, and then one night S. projectile vomited so I spent hours cleaning him up and trying to get the room to smell like grapefruit oil instead of vomit. And one night he stayed up all night long. I think the night he stayed up all night was one of the last times I posted. Oh yeah, dh's birthday weekend last weekend. I was so tired, and got a migraine, and dh was sick, and DD and Baby S. were both cranky from not getting enough sleep that DH went out hiking with Ro and I stayed him with the two crankypants. We didn't do anything very special except dessert (which is pretty special, because we never do it), and we might do a fun trip sometime soon.

    I am in the ranks of all of you hoping this is it for Mandy. I'm counting every twinge and extra pee trip along with you. Fingers crossed! I didn't have any early symptoms at all except for an occasional weird little bit of vertigo that was barely perceptible. I wouldn't have even noticed it, except that I felt a little motion sick when driving on curvy roads.

    I am off work tomorrow and have a playdate then and a playdate on Saturday. The cool thing is on Saturday it's another APA mama (Krystal5 and Maiya), so that means within two weeks I will have had meetings with friends I met via APA.


  21. #27981

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    DH got fed up with looking for an adult dog because everyone we tried to contact through petfinder had zero interest in helping us. We filled out a couple applications and either they didn't write back or they'd give some lame excuse like "I'm sick and haven't been able to check the e mail, I'll get back to you in a couple days when I catch up" and then never hear from them again. IDK if it's because we've never had a dog, or because we have a young child, or what.

    I went to one shelter in town and it just made me sad. The cats were all kept inside in nice little cushy cages with blankets and toys, and the dogs were down a hall in a cold concrete room, each in their own cage, taken outside in shifts. They only had 5-6 dogs and most of their papers said they can't be homed with kids under 10.

  22. #27982

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    Do you know what dog breed you want? You could look for local breed rescue groups. That is where we got our rescue Dachshund.

    We already had my old Doxie, who was 13 at the time. Rudy was not used to being an only dog, so when my 16 year old doxie died, we contacted the DARE rescue group. We wanted an older dog to be mellow with our Rudy. We found 9 year old Susie. She was so sweet and docile. Her owners were divorcing, they had 3 dogs, and the woman was taking 2 dogs, and the man was going to put Susie to sleep. So sad. There was nothing wrong with Susie. They just didn't want to "deal" with her. anyway, Susie was a real sweetheart and she was the perfect companion for Rudy.

    An older more docile dog would be better for a young child. Like Suja said, talk to the foster parents, for the best fit. There is a 8 week puppy in our neighborhood, she's so cute, but I know a puppy and my 3.5 year old would not work. First she bites everything, and she jumps. She has no manners, and I know I don't have time right now to teach a puppy proper manners.
    Last edited by raspberry; 02-03-2012 at 07:45 AM.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  23. #27983
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    Kate have you looked into something like this http://www.gsrne.org/AvailableDogs.htm I just remember you mentioning that breed before.

    Ha Shelley, that about sounds like my baby. Lots of biting...though at 8 weeks she didn't so much. That has gotten really bad in the past few weeks due to teething. Lots of jumping up, which we are working on. It's a lot of work teaching manners. I'm saying no all the time or off all the time. At least potty training was pretty easy as that first week or two, I was great at management and we have a litter box. She always makes it to the laundry room and usually makes it to the box or really close to it.
    OMG though seriously those first weeks are HARD. I took her potty every 30 minutes when not in her kennel or if she ate, drank, played. She needed to be fed 4-5 times a day and could only be in the kennel up to 3 hours before a potty break, even at night. Didn't know her name, didn't know any commands.

    At least we are now caught up on shots. 3 rounds of distemper, 2 lyme I think, 2 for kennel cough, 1 rabies. So probably like $200 in shots. Now we just need to get her spayed and we are good for the next year. Think that we are doing that end of March or early April.

    All that said, I do think that getting an older dog is great and I know many people who have only done that. I likely will go the puppy route again but hopefully not for 15-16 years. Dh liked it better just having one dog vs two. Course sometimes a dog just falls into your lap and you go with it. My sister got her dog that way. Found him on the street, tried to find an owner and contacted the shelter but they ended up keeping him. rocky and chewie 4.jpg He's a funny looking little dog but has a cute personality and was pretty healthy. Potty trained and has some manners but they are building on that.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #27984

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    Thanks for the site. They will not adopt to families with kids under 7 though I think we ran into that site before.

    I really like German Shepherds, but everyone I tell that to kind of makes a face. My former math teacher is friends with me on fb. I saw him mention he has a GS and I asked him to tell me about them, and he has had 3 GS's in succession and recommended I wait until Josh is in 1st or 2nd grade because if they are rough housed with too much then they will be aggressive with everyone like that. I think that might be less likely if we got an older dog that was already trained, though.

    We hear labs are wonderful but I am in love with the look of GS and the embodiment of companionship and loyalty that they seem to give off to me. We do not need a guard dog but I'm looking for a smart dog who will be a good companion and a good outlet for some of Josh's energy I feel bad for picking a dog almost purely based on looks though and I'm sure I'd love any dog that is good with us and Josh and the cats.

  25. #27985
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    Omg, Jennifer, your sister's dog is such a cutie! I'd like a dog that size when we do eventually get one.

  26. #27986
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    Kate looks are important. There are some breeds that are just not it for me based on looks....but there are people who love them. Like a boxer. I like furry dogs.

    Hmmm, good with kids, yeah labs are there, goldens...super smart would be a standard poodle (which I think are really great looking dogs when not cut stupid for show). If DH would ever agree to a big dog, I would totally get a standard poodle. Another one that I love is boarder collies. However, we are not the right people for them.....we are just too lazy a family. One important thing to remember is that smartest breeds are not always the easiest ones....if you don't give them jobs and work with them, they will find trouble the fastest.
    I also love a collie but again DH isn't a big dog guy so I'm thinking that our next one will be a sheltie. I was actually thinking that would be it after Cosmo but than the person at work had the litter by accident and well the little poogle was cute and DH likes beagles but I would never agree to a full one and I love poodles and so would be a good size fit....and yeah we ended up with Molly.

    OMG I can't believe you think he's cute Ashley....I think that he's such a goofy looking dog. LOL Supposedly they think he's a cheweenie so they call him Chewie.

    So uh you all who don't want to get pg have noticed the big birth control pill recall right? I wonder how many babies this might have created and if we will see a spike in births in say 8-9 months from now?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  27. #27987
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Thanks for the site. They will not adopt to families with kids under 7 though I think we ran into that site before.

    I really like German Shepherds, but everyone I tell that to kind of makes a face. My former math teacher is friends with me on fb. I saw him mention he has a GS and I asked him to tell me about them, and he has had 3 GS's in succession and recommended I wait until Josh is in 1st or 2nd grade because if they are rough housed with too much then they will be aggressive with everyone like that. I think that might be less likely if we got an older dog that was already trained, though.

    We hear labs are wonderful but I am in love with the look of GS and the embodiment of companionship and loyalty that they seem to give off to me. We do not need a guard dog but I'm looking for a smart dog who will be a good companion and a good outlet for some of Josh's energy I feel bad for picking a dog almost purely based on looks though and I'm sure I'd love any dog that is good with us and Josh and the cats.
    A lot of rescues won't adopt to people with young kids, which is unfortunate. I volunteer with the Virginia German Shepherd Rescue, and do home visits on prospective adopters. We do not have age restrictions, and do adopt to people with children ALL the time. Little kids and herding dogs tend to not mix, but we have had lots of dogs that are great with little kids, and we've even had some that must be placed with kids. I actually did a home visit for this family that had two wild and crazy kids (not malicious, just rambunctious, about 5 and 7), a cat, and an African Grey. It was pure mayhem when I was there. The two kids were fighting, so the parents told the older one to not hit the younger one. The younger one comes crying, and the older one goes 'You didn't say I couldn't kick him...' For the record, the little totally instigated it. The kids wanted to keep my dog. He would probably have run away from that home. Anyway, they passed the HV (I loved them, actually), and I put in my notes that they will need a very carefully screened, 'special' dog - one that is energetic enough to keep up with the kids, but loves them, and would put up with pretty much anything (IOW, no guarding instinct and bomb proof). Later, I saw a note from one of the fosters that she had placed her foster with them, and ended her note with 'God help them all'. Near as I know, they're all happy together.

    Anyway, I wish you guys lived closer - VA, MD, DC. We would totally adopt to you, and hey, I might have even volunteered to do that home visit myself.

    Jennifer, if you ever go the Sheltie route, make sure you meet a whole bunch. They have a very low threshold for barking (it's a breed trait, unfortunately), and if there is one thing I can't stand, it's yappy dogs.
    Last edited by Suja; 02-03-2012 at 09:19 AM.

  28. #27988

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    Aw, I didn't know you do that, Suja. I wish we lived there too!

    DH saw a standard poodle that was not shaved the goofy way they do it for shows and he didn't even realize it was a poodle until the owner told him.

    I like the medium/big dogs as long as they don't jump up. I'm only 5 feet tall so it's a little scary when a dog that's taller than me puts his paws up on me. I'm not a big fan of small dogs.

  29. #27989

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    Thought those of us commenting on SGK would find this informations

    Komen reverses, says it will continue to fund Planned Parenthood


    The populace is powerful when we come together. It took less than a week for them to reverse the decision. Honestly though, I don't think I will support them anymore after what I have learned about their organization. I would rather support the American Cancer Society.

    Erin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Thought those of us commenting on SGK would find this informations

    Komen reverses, says it will continue to fund Planned Parenthood


    The populace is powerful when we come together. It took less than a week for them to reverse the decision. Honestly though, I don't think I will support them anymore after what I have learned about their organization. I would rather support the American Cancer Society.

    Erin
    Too little, too late here as well. I am sending my money elsewhere.

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