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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #27271
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    I often hear people refer to bat wings as 'bingo wings' here in England. That always makes me laugh inside to hear that phrase. I think I'll leave the idea of plastic surgery behind. I think I can live with my extra bit of fat on the tummy...maybe I'll love it one day for its purpose of keeping me warm in the winter. ;)

    Myles, good luck with your laser hair removal!

    Mandy, good luck with the clomid!

    And along the lines of kids/pets being possessed. Add Travis to the list. I had some strawberry cider to chill out last night once he went to bed. He has become so naughty lately. It feels like he's really mean to Cash all the time and he's very angry with me when I try to correct his behavior. Last night, he slapped my arm when he was angry and he was trying to pick up every single toy truck so that Cash couldn't pust one around, so I told him after dinner time that he wasn't having a dessert since he'd had a bad evening. He started kicking and shouting and complained about not having a dessert til he went to bed...he just seems so angry lately; do y'all think that's normal for a 3.5 year old to have so much anger/to have such a temper....I wonder if we should put him in some kind of therapy or something to work out any anger issues he's got going on....DH and I are similar in that we are very laid back but we both blow up at times from letting things that bother us build up too much.

  2. #27272

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    I think it's normal. Three is a rough age. Kai was a piece of work up until very recently and he is four and half! The kicking, screaming, hitting, etc. Sucks but it's normal.

  3. #27273
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    I think that my puppy is probably about the equivalent of a 2-3 yr old human right now......course she is pretty good all day for daddy but at night for me, there is a really rough hour or two.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #27274
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    I think it's normal too Ash. Each one outgrows it in their own time. Conner still has bouts with it from time to time, but it's not as bad as it was. His new thing is picking on Bobbie when she's in a grumpy mood...which is often. She'll be venting about something and he'll walk up and shut her laptop lid or swat her on the arm for no reason other than to antagonize her. Of course, we can't address it fast enough and we always get a lecture from Bobbie about how 'he needs discipline!' As if we're not trying to redirect him. It must be nice to be 18 and have it all figured out. Ugh.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #27275
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    Thanks for the reassurance, ladies. I feel like every day I tell myself to be patient and calm about everything and that all flies out of the window by the evening if not before and I get to the point where as soon as DH walks through the door, I hand the kids over and say that I'm done for the day!

  6. #27276
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Thanks for the reassurance, ladies. I feel like every day I tell myself to be patient and calm about everything and that all flies out of the window by the evening if not before and I get to the point where as soon as DH walks through the door, I hand the kids over and say that I'm done for the day!
    I think that's a common thing and for some, it causes strife. Some men come home tired after a long day's work and then they're met at the door with a wife passing an unhappy child off onto him. There's been a lot written about that very thing.

    Not helpful, but at least you know you're not alone. There is no harder job than being a mother.

    One thing I've noticed with Conner is that he'll get his own clothes out of his dresser for his dad, but he refuses to do so for me. As much as he can, he has me take care of him a lot when he's fully capable of doing some stuff for himself. It's so much easier to just do it too, even though I know I'm not really doing him any favors. I justify it by saying to myself that no grown man has their mother coming to their house and getting their clothes out of the dresser for them in the morning, so at some point Conner is bound to outgrow it. Right?!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #27277
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I think that's a common thing and for some, it causes strife. Some men come home tired after a long day's work and then they're met at the door with a wife passing an unhappy child off onto him. There's been a lot written about that very thing.

    Not helpful, but at least you know you're not alone. There is no harder job than being a mother.

    One thing I've noticed with Conner is that he'll get his own clothes out of his dresser for his dad, but he refuses to do so for me. As much as he can, he has me take care of him a lot when he's fully capable of doing some stuff for himself. It's so much easier to just do it too, even though I know I'm not really doing him any favors. I justify it by saying to myself that no grown man has their mother coming to their house and getting their clothes out of the dresser for them in the morning, so at some point Conner is bound to outgrow it. Right?!
    Oh, yeah, I know what ya mean. I only actually ever do that to DH if the day has been a really really bad one and I'm on the verg of my breaking point. Just going and lying down on my bed in the dark while he sorts their dinner out is a big help. And I think DH understands since he has the odd day off through the week sometimes, so he knows what it's like when both kids are being little crabs.

    And you're right about helping them out; there's no harm in it really. Travis goes to "school" 2.5 days per week and one of the things they keep asking parents in every meeting I go to is to try to get the kids to do lots of things for themselves since they don't have time to help them at school, like putting their own raincoats and boots on, etc, so I have started letting Travis do it by himself and it's surprising how much he does on his own without a fuss (until he has trouble getting a t-shirt off or something and I hear him screaming in anger...lol).

  8. #27278
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    I can't get Conner to do stuff on his own. He'll do those things for Daddy, but not me. It's not that he can't. He's a stinker and knows what he can get away with with Mom I guess.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #27279

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I

    Myles, good luck with your laser hair removal!

    Mandy, good luck with the clomid!
    The contrast here made me giggle.

    "Good luck getting wasted at the party Snooki! / Good luck saving the world, Superman!"
    Last edited by demigraf; 01-10-2012 at 04:05 PM.

  10. #27280
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    :giggle: The contrast here made me giggle.

    "Good luck getting wasted at the party Snooki! / Good luck saving the world, Superman!"
    I know. Lol. I tried to think of something clever to say about the hair removal this morning but drew a blank. How did it go? You won't find yourself in any hairy situations now, eh?

  11. #27281

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    Ash, I think the behavior is normal. At least, everyone keeps telling me it is.


    It has really helped since you all and my therapist said I shouldn't take things so personally. I feel like I was too close to Josh's emotions, if that makes sense. I have to kind of remove myself from the situation and realize it's not all about me. That his behavior is just that, his behavior and isn't really indicative of anything I'm doing wrong. It has taken a lot of time for that to start sinking in, but it has really helped to just step back and kind of raise an eyebrow at the meltdowns instead of flying off the handle.


    Does anyone know if skydiving would be bad for someone with back problems? We're starting to plan fun things for my cousin who's getting married in June and my other cousin wants to take the bridal party skydiving (both indoors and outdoors were mentioned). I'm a little like, wtf? but I'll try it. Especially if it's indoors--that's just where you float over a giant fan, right? I just don't want to hurt myself.

  12. #27282
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    I have a harder time with my own patience if I'm already tired or exasperated about something and then Conner starts acting up. We're all human. Most the time, though, I look at it as his way of expressing frustration because he hasn't yet learned appropriate coping skills. Maybe when I react badly to his poor behavior it's because my own coping skills need work. Gah! My first therapy appointment is this afternoon.

    I haven't the foggiest idea about skydiving with a bad back. I only know I won't be doing it even with a good back. Unless I happen to be on a plane that's on fire and that's my only chance at living.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #27283

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    Good luck at the therapy!
    I'm sure skydiving is an amazing experience once you stop screaming ;)

  14. #27284
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    lmao Kate!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #27285

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    Kate I'm glad to hear a new perspective has helped you. You sharing that here has helped me too, in regard to my situation with Savana's behaviors. Have I thanked you for that? Seriously, I've thought about it several times and you are right, it does remove a good amount of stress from the whole irrational child scenario.

    Today we went on a walk and right around the corner from my house, where we walk all.the.time, the cleared a bunch of dead brush and there is this awesomely huge tree that fell. It's roots are high in the air on one end and the rest of it is perfect for climbing. So perfect. It's big and low to the ground so the little ones can do it! I never ventured in because it's probably private property and it looked creepy behind all that brush. Like alligators would live in there (it's swampy in the spring) even though I know there are no alligators in wisconsin. But now that it's out in the open it doesn't feel intrusive because it's like 8 feet from the road and I'm pretty sure roadsides are owned by the town. At least ours is since I almost had to move my flower garden since we don't "own" that land.
    ANYWAY. Perfect climbing spot. The kids were so psyched. Kai kept saying over and over that he has always wanted to climb a tree and it was finally happening. Then he sat on this big bow and said, "I've always dreamed of sitting on a little crook in a tree and just sitting." lol he is so cute and uses the funniest language that he picks up from stories. He also mentioned he hoped we would see a little forest creature that was hurt so he could rescue it. I am so thrilled we found this little treasure just around the corner and both Kai and I are very excited to show Savana. It's the kind of spot that kids could spend hours. I'll take a little photo when we go back.
    Ahhhh, it's the little things
    Last edited by Bridget; 01-10-2012 at 01:20 PM.

  16. #27286

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    That is so cute! Whenever Josh does something new he says something similar, like "Wow, this is the first time I have done this!" and I can't help but wonder if it's going to be one of his lasting memories.

    And you're welcome...but you shouldn't thank me, but the ladies who suggested that perspective to me. I forgot who that was, specifically, but you all have helped me and I'm glad you've also helped Bridget, through me

  17. #27287

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I know. Lol. I tried to think of something clever to say about the hair removal this morning but drew a blank. How did it go? You won't find yourself in any hairy situations now, eh?
    it made me smile to see someone pun myles.

    Mandy, I hope the Clomid is just the thing your body needs to get preggo. Lots of good vibes coming your way. goodvibes.gif

    Abbey's potty learning and doing great. She went with her bff to a bounce place today and when her friend saw her use the potty, she wanted to try too. Abbey was so cute and super helpful "C'mon, you can do it! Do you need to use my potty seat?" Her friend was still a little gunshy, but it was pretty heartwarming.

    Someone here (or elsewhere, I can't remember anything lately) said something about how kids give different behavior at school and at home (like wild/misbehaving at home and super sweet at school). Abbey is the reversal of this, wonderful and loving around me, and crazy around anyone new. It makes me worried for school, since DH is still set on outside schooling in kindergarten.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  18. #27288
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    I'm with Chrissy there is no way in h*ll I will be skydiving anywhere!

    Mandy I hope the Clomid works for you

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #27289

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    Molly, Elle is the same as Abbey. She is relatively sweet and calm at home (she has a mini-tude though and is also needs mini-anger management at times) but she can be a hellion at school and we are really working on it.

    It sounds strange but I get frustrated that they aren't as consistent as they can be and I get an earful on Elle's bad days. I feel bad that she is demanding at school/daycare. She has a very powerful personality and I love that about her but she will go overboard if she is not reminded to think of others and the daycare just doesn't do that as much as I do and they also react more often and to a higher degree than I do. She will have a screaming fit there, which she hardly ever does at home and if she does I tell her to stop and she stops.

    But I also wanted to comment to you Ash that T's behavior is normal. Elle is going through the 3 year old anger management stage as well. I went through it with Ky so was expecting it and honestly Elle is way better than Ky was. She does have her moments though but luckily she is much more rational than Ky was and will actually listen to me talking to her when I remind her that she should not get angry and I can tell that she attempts to not get angry and will try to find another way of getting her anger out, like punching or screaming into pillow or deep breathing which are options that I have told her she can do or just going to sit in her room and look at books to calm down.

    That is so exciting Bridget, the tree you found! Elle would love something like that as well. I just love talking to her because she is always talking about having a "new adventure." She told me she wants to go on a ferris wheel so next time we go to Chicago I am going to take her to Navy Pier so she can have a big adventure on a ferris wheel. She is also excited that she is starting pre-ballet this weekend. I told her last week that she would go to dance class "next Saturday" and this past Saturday she got up super early, put on her tutu skirt, a tight shirt, and her gray and pink tights and was all cute and said "c'mon Mommy, you have to take me to dance class!" I felt bad because it wasn't until next Saturday and I forget with how clever she is that she is only 3 and doesn't understand all the references to next or last when it comes to days of the week.

    Erin

  20. #27290
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    Skydiving sounds like a lot of fun. I have friends that have done it, and most start saving up for their next dive. I think it should be okay if you have a bad back, but best to seek advice from whoever is offering it, and run it by your doctor.

    Fingers crossed for you, Mandy. Hope Clomid's the charm.

    Also, y'all are scaring me with all this 3 year old stuff. Little Miss Bossypants has quite a temper already, and I really hope it doesn't get any worse.
    Last edited by Suja; 01-10-2012 at 03:35 PM.

  21. #27291

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    Not to scare you further, Suja, but Bodhi is also clearly making the transition from the Terrible Twos to the Kill-Me-Now Threes. He's always been intense, but now he's trying to use reason ... intensely ... and with only minor success. It's funny to hear his "sass" include if/then statements. But today, DH left me a voicemail at work to tell me that he put himself to sleep during naptime today. A major first. As in, he's only ever done that one time before. We have wanted to get to this for some time, and figure we're ready because Bodhi actively tries to kick us out of his room much of the time.

    Mandy, I am so, so hopeful that the Clomid will work its magic on you. You would be such an amazing mama.

    So the laser hair removal is done. My underarms are still numb from the lidocaine. But tell me, how is it that I can't feel the pressure of my touch in the area, but I can still feel myself sweating there? Bodies are weird, yo.

    Kate, sorry I am no help. I will never jump out of a plane, so you won't hear me recommending it even to people with titanium spines. Nuh uh.

    Molly, please hug Abbey for me. I can't believe we're gonna have 3 yr olds!

    Chrissy, good luck with your first session.

  22. #27292
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    I'm not the Princesss of Patience (as a friend of mine likes to say), and she's already trying it. And I'm willing to bet she'll start early. She's always early with bad behaviors.

    I finally used the vacuum seal bags I bought a while ago. There is a great deal of pleasure to be had at watching comforters and pillows shrink to nothing. Yes, I know my life is SO glamorous. Also organized the child's closet. She has way too much stuff. And now that her shelves have more space, I'm considering filling it up with 3 year okd clothes. At what age do they start forming opinions on clothes anyway?

  23. #27293

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    I've been waiting for the terrible threes to end for over 2 years now
    No really though...he started to get a little better around 4.5.

  24. #27294
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    That tree sounds awesome Bridget. When will you get to take Savannah and show her?

    I do think the 3s are worse than the 2s. At least they were for Conner. Bobbie and Jesi didn't really have a 'terrible' stage. They were quiet little girls. What happened? lol I remember Jesi throwing 1 fit in a store because she saw horses that she wanted. I also remember her tugging on a doll that was stuck in her toy box and she said, "god**** it!" Sydney was far more demanding than they were. I think she's still in her 'terrible' phase. j/k...she's simply more vocal about what she wants.

    All my kids got picky about their clothes at different stages. I think Conner is worse than his sisters were at this age.

    Therapy was ok I guess. My therapist is like 10 so that's going to take some getting used to, but she was very empathetic and said, "You really have been through a lot this last year" with big eyes. And I didn't even get a chance to tell her everything. At least I'm not crazy. She's also very intelligent so I'm sure she'll be good.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #27295

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    As for forming opinions on clothes, I hear lots of moms of girls say that around now (age 4-5) they want to pick out their own clothes but moms of boys mostly say their boys don't care so much.

  26. #27296

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    That tree sounds awesome Bridget. When will you get to take Savannah and show her?

    I do think the 3s are worse than the 2s. At least they were for Conner. Bobbie and Jesi didn't really have a 'terrible' stage. They were quiet little girls. What happened? lol I remember Jesi throwing 1 fit in a store because she saw horses that she wanted. I also remember her tugging on a doll that was stuck in her toy box and she said, "god**** it!" Sydney was far more demanding than they were. I think she's still in her 'terrible' phase. j/k...she's simply more vocal about what she wants.

    All my kids got picky about their clothes at different stages. I think Conner is worse than his sisters were at this age.

    Therapy was ok I guess. My therapist is like 10 so that's going to take some getting used to, but she was very empathetic and said, "You really have been through a lot this last year" with big eyes. And I didn't even get a chance to tell her everything. At least I'm not crazy. She's also very intelligent so I'm sure she'll be good.
    That made me giggle But I completely understand how disconcerting it is when someone you're supposed to look up to is younger than you. Most of my bosses in restaurants were younger than me (and had more experience, to boot) My therapist has at least 10 years on me though.

  27. #27297
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    The reference to horse reminds me - the friend of mine who I went for a walk with over the weekend, turns out she bought a horse over the summer. Supposed to be super gentle, good for inexperienced riders and kids. I'm hoping to introduce Mira to her whenever we get a nice, warm weekend. And try my hand at riding. I've always wanted to do that.

  28. #27298
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    I agree, an angry/defiant phase around 3 is pretty normal.

    I remember when I was about 8, and we had a big oak tree that was struck by lightning. It fell across our lawn and eventually my dad had it chopped up into firewood and removed, but for a little while we had this fabulous place to climb. What a great memory! I had almost forgotten that.

    Myles, which of us is Snooki and which is Superman? I don't quite look the part for either of them.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Myles, which of us is Snooki and which is Superman? I don't quite look the part for either of them.
    Whichever one of you wears underwear as outerwear is Superman. DUH!

  30. #27300

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    I typed out a post an hour ago and thought I posted it and now it's not here!
    Anyway, I mentioned how I thought each challenging stage phases out just in time for the next challenging phase.

    We took Savana to see the tree right when she got home from school. Of course she had to act totally unimpressed since we discovered it without her but she couldn't resist it's awesomeness for long.

    Chrissy, I so hope therapy is successful for you. Gosh you really have been through so much this year. Where you start?

    Did I tell y'all I might have to start opening my daycare for a family at 5am? OUCH.

    My kids are rocking like crazy to a Veggie Tales cd down in the daycare right now. Like top of the lungs singing.

    Have we heard from Lydia? Wondering about the great car exchange.

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