Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

That breaks my heart that she went to bed crying poor little girl.

I don't know if I could ever get to the place where I'd be ok upsetting my kids on that level. When I say they were upset, they were upset like I'd never seen them. I imagine it's how they'd be if one of us died. That bad.

[Ky'sMom]

Poor Savana! I also don't like it when my kids cry at bed time. I just think when we go to sleep and when/if we part in the morning for the day they should be on a happy note, not plagued by sadness or anger.

On another note, I was re-reading the thread about the #1 song the day you were born and someone's was George Micheal One More Try, which is one of my all time favorite songs. I have been listening to it continuously now for 15 minutes LOL! I can't believe she thought it was blah. I love that song. I know some people just don't like George Micheal but I always thought he had one of the best singing voices, plus I just love a lot of 80s music. One More Try is one of my favorite songs to sing. Listening to it is making me think I need to find a karaoke bar and belt it out really well. Last time I went to one was years ago when someone mentioned Purple Rain to me and I got all fixated on Purple Rain and had to go sing it so I could get it out of me. Man, now I am thinking about Purple Rain....


ETA: This reminds me of when we mentioned Aerosmith's "I don't wanna miss a thing" on FB and I was stuck on that song for a while after that and got on DH's nerves so bad. He hates road trips with me because I still have old Prince, George Michael, and a greatest hits Aerosmith CD(s) and I will sing every song on each CD about 3 times on our trips to Toledo or Chicago by car. But he likes a song called "Leroy Brown" and he sings it over and over and over on road trips so he doesn't have any room to complain.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Erin! I need to go karaoking with you!! Although, I don't sing all that well. I still enjoy it very much.

[Ky'sMom]

I don't sing all that well IMO either. DH thinks I sing pretty well, so does Ky but neither of them can carry a tune so I don't put much on their opinions LOL!

My grandma was a trained singer and pianist. She always told me that I could be a good singer if I got singing lessons and learned to control my voice. I do want to do that one day, maybe when the kids are grown and out of the house. I can carry a tune and sound decent though but not all that great doing karaoke. But I love to sing ballads, especially heartfelt ones like One More Try and I love to sing screamy types of songs like Purple Rain. My favorite part is when he goes "I know, I know, I know Times are changin'" because I can scream it really loud and everyone in the car will plug their ears and Elle will tell me "Mommy, you too loud!!!" and give me one of her famous evil old lady looks.

[daylilies]

I love that George Michael song too. What bothers me is that I knew it when it was new or at least newish (on the radio a lot), and it came out the year that person was born...LOL
I think it used to remind me of someone, but I can't remember who now. When I was a tween and teen I was all about attaching songs to the boys I had crushes on. I still remember some of those connections, but I've forgotten a lot now.
I've never been to karaoke. I don't know anyone who does it and DH wouldn't be caught dead doing it. I would rock some NKOTB though

[Cosmosmom]

I will try to reply more tomorrow but thought I would update....vet was thinking glaucoma based on the irritation/redness of the whites of the eye and that they felt a bit hard/bulging to her. Did the eye pressure glaucoma test (just like they do to me every eye test) and was surprised that it was negative. Had another vet double check and he said the same thing and neither knows what it is. Highly suggested we set a vet ophthalmologist in the Twin Cities....closer for us than say Madison where they have another one. It will be about a 2 hour drive. Currently we have an appt for Feb 10th but might try to change that if we can. I wasn't thinking and it's 8:45 in the morning when DH doesn't get home until 7:30am so he would have to leave work early. And of course I get to stress out that the weather might be crummy and we have to reschedule it.

I just really hope that she isn't hurting and I'm really annoyed because it's been going on for a while now...just a little worse than it used to be. Asked the old vet a couple of times and got that it wasn't an infection and probably just seasonal allergies. She doesn't seem to be in pain and definitely hasn't lost vision yet but I guess since we don't know yet what it is, guess that is a something that might end up a reality. At 8 she is considered to be a more senior dog now.

And of course I have tried to research it even though eyes super gross me out and I usually give all the eye searches to my boss. But I can't find anything that fits totally....it does sound like glaucoma except of course that the eye pressure test came back normal.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh and my song was Ooogie Boogie. 1970's music was so mostly suckage. 1980's was much better. And of course I love me some 90's grunge. One road trip song that is a must on our play list is Peaches by United States of America. LOL And ummmm, I confess a couple of Aqua songs. I love Barbie Girl and DH's favorite is Happy Boys and Happy Girls.

[Ky'sMom]

I hope you can figure it out Jen. I also don't like looking at eye infections but poor Cosmo. I hate any sort of eye irritation. Our nice dog Mr. Hyde is prone to eye problems as well. He gets really goopy eyes and he has drops. They are pretty nasty looking. I think he has a ESP or something because as soon as I mentioned him here he came up to me to try to get me to pet him. He is a trip with all his petting. He will literally move your arm and put it around his neck so you can hug and pet him. It is so nice since he was such an anxious prone dog when we got him and he would run from people. Now he will go up to them and rub himself on them like he is a cat and try to get every person who comes in our house to pet him LOL.

And Kate I used to attach all songs to myself. I was and still am in a lot of ways very self centered. I always felt that song was about me. I also used to love to sing a Whitney Houston song - Greatest Love of All. I think I was around 5-7 when that song came out. My mom used to giggle at me when I sang it because of my arm movements and dramatic way of performing. She would have me sing it for her friends when they came over LOL! I really thought that song was about me because it began "I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way." I remember thinking "yeah, I'm the future, you better do right by me." I was very silly as a girl and very self centered. Even when I got into gangsta rap when I was a middle schooler I used to relate the songs to myself personally. I used to like a rapper named Spice One, who my brother used to joked killed a person in every song and I used to think of myself as the characters he was talking about. I still am kind of like that about songs. Yeah...I am a weirdo.

Erin

[3andMe]

I am having a really hard time jumping back in here. I just keep thinking "...." and then nothing.

Molly, are you feeling okay now?

Bridget, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. And I'm picturing DS being in the red zone forever because he loves sticks and rocks so much and even if he hears a rule, he can't stop his hands from reaching down and doing whatever they're not supposed to be doing (although I hope that improves as he gets older).

Chrissy, I've been hoping this year will be better for you, too.

[Gwenn]

Jennifer, so sorry about Cosmo's eyes. Weird that the pressure test came back normal.

Erin, I never liked George Michael when he was really popular but I remember watching him perform on American Idol a few years ago and just being blown away at his actual singing skill. I'm not a big fan of his style but I downloaded Father Figure on my iPod just to sing along with because I'm so impressed by his technique. Your raving post actually made me go download One More Try! I would SO love to go Karaoke with you! My specialty is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On from Titanic. Super cheesy, I know ... but I was really into the movie when it came out and I remember telling DH (very soon after we had met) that I could sing that song better than Celine Dion could. He refused to believe me, and one night we went to a bar with some work friends of mine and it was Karaoke night. Everyone kept trying to get me to sing and I was too nervous (I had developed horrible stage fright when I was a voice major) but at the very end of the night I got up and sang it. I don't like to sound arrogant, but I blew everyone in the bar away. They all stared at me, jaws dropped, and the DJ wanted to know why I hadn't sung anything all evening. DH was blown away too, and I always thought of it as "our song" because of that. Sadly, DH was really drunk and didn't really remember it afterward. He doesn't remember that happening at all anymore. He decided our song was Footloose. Primarily for the humor value. It has always pissed me off. Wow, tangent. I think I've only gone to Karaoke twice and I'm a little nervous. My training is singing art songs and such, so I'm afraid I would sound like an idiot singing the stuff I really enjoy listening to.

I always had some complex inner story for songs I enjoyed, too - and they were either about me or some boy I had a crush on. Depended on the focus of the song. I wonder why we all stopped doing that? I kind of miss it.

Oh, and Erin - my Aerosmith obsessive song was What it Takes. I sang/listened to that constantly for an extended period of time. That would be fun in Karaoke.

[3andMe]

Oh, Jennifer, I got called away earlier but I wanted to mention that sometimes red eyes can be totally innocent. I went in to the eye doctor scared out of my mind last summer because my eyes had been super-red and were starting to get really painful, and I'm always a little worried about my eyes because the same thing that causes my recurrent meningitis can cause blindness, but I got tested completely and they said it was just because I wasn't getting enough sleep. Go figure. Apparently my eyes were not closed enough, so were just not getting the rest they needed, and were spending too much time open and they were getting dryer and more irritated, and each day I spent with less sleep and more time awake, the more red and irritated they got.

Natural tears helped a lot.

[AmeriBrit]

Erin, you posted on the birth song thread that you'd not ever listened to The Kings of Leon-you must find their songs and listen to them! They are an awesome rock band! I love them!

I'm typing from my phone, but want to reply more. I'll have to log on with the laptop after while!

[AmeriBrit]

Erin, you posted on the birth song thread that you'd not ever listened to The Kings of Leon-you must find their songs and listen to them! They are an awesome rock band! I love them!

I'm typing from my phone, but want to reply more. I'll have to log on with the laptop after while!

[demigraf]

Ack, I fell asleep with Bodhi again at 9:30, so I'm up super early, and will become a zombie later in the day. And for some reason APA won't let me multi-quote so pardon the lack of citation up ahead...

Erin, I love it that Ella speaks of herself in the 3rd person too! We are raising a couple of megalomaniacs. LOL. And talking about songs getting in your head... I have started singing the old jingle for those Mon Chi Chi dolls from the 80s to B for whatever odd reason. He doesn't know it was a product, so he thinks I made up that song and he's my Mon Chi Chi. So last night I was in the other room singing the song... "with her thumb in her mouth she's really neat... fun to wiggle her little feet... ya ya ya... ya ya ya... happy happy Mon Chi Chiiiiii!" And I hear his little voice from the other room, "No, mommy. HIM. Me. Bodhi. Boy. I am Mon Chi Chi." (I think he meant I should be singing "with his thumb in his mouth..." I'm not describing it that well, but it was crazy cute at the time.

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

On the topic of forgiveness, I agree that it's one of the hardest things to do. I read somewhere once that the main reason to forgive another person is to let go of your own suffering. Because while you still haven't forgiven a person, you're reliving the pain that caused your anger and carrying that experience around with you your whole life, which is a disservice to yourself. And so you choose to forgive as a way of saying to yourself, "I am more than this experience that was hurtful to me once." If you can do that - that is to say, somehow see the person that hurt you as human and imperfect and dealing with his/her own suffering - you free yourself from the pain you carry around with you, which isn't doing you any good.

Ah, I had more to say about karaoke, cookie-cutter school reward systems, jalapeno allergies, my son's daily snogs , and poor Cosmo, but I feel a wave of sleep coming on, so I'm gonna try to ride it back to slumberland if I can. See you laters, alligators.

[missychrissy]

... I would SO love to go Karaoke with you! My specialty is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On from Titanic. Super cheesy, I know ... but I was really into the movie when it came out and I remember telling DH (very soon after we had met) that I could sing that song better than Celine Dion could. He refused to believe me, and one night we went to a bar with some work friends of mine and it was Karaoke night. Everyone kept trying to get me to sing and I was too nervous (I had developed horrible stage fright when I was a voice major) but at the very end of the night I got up and sang it. I don't like to sound arrogant, but I blew everyone in the bar away. They all stared at me, jaws dropped, and the DJ wanted to know why I hadn't sung anything all evening. DH was blown away too, and I always thought of it as "our song" because of that. Sadly, DH was really drunk and didn't really remember it afterward. He doesn't remember that happening at all anymore. He decided our song was Footloose. Primarily for the humor value. It has always pissed me off. Wow, tangent. I think I've only gone to Karaoke twice and I'm a little nervous. My training is singing art songs and such, so I'm afraid I would sound like an idiot singing the stuff I really enjoy listening to....

I think the point of karaoke is for everyone to sing for fun. You don't have to sound good. Or I hope not, because I know I don't. But singing is fun!!!

That said, when we all go out to karaoke together I don't think I'm gonna sing with you Mandy. It's ok if everyone else is as bad as I am.

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

He's definitely made changes. Except for New Years, he hasn't drank since October. Before that, it was a daily occurrence. Worse on the weekends. He's really stepped up about cleaning the house and being more patient with Conner and understanding with the girls and stuff. But he's also making more of an effort to tell me he loves me or that I'm beautiful, and in those things he never failed. He's always said those things and done things that let me know his eyes are only for me and he loves me a great deal. Now it's so frequent and all over facebook it's just become annoying. I guess what it really is is that every time he says something like that I feel guilty for not having the same feelings for him, so I just don't want to hear it.

I don't want him hugging me, kissing me or anything. I just want to co-exist and try to really process what's going on with me. Maybe with time I'll warm back up to him, but not if he keeps pushing.

[Smplyme89]

Savana came home very upset today that she "got on yellow". They have a behavior system where they stay on green for "being good" and then move to yellow, and eventually red for "bad behavior". I am sorry for all the quotes but I have to be sure that no one thinks that's my terminology. I detest the words good and bad being used to describe children's behaviors. Anyway, she picked up a stick outside at recess and the teacher told her to put it down. Then she forgot and picked up another one a few minutes later. I'm sorry but what a crock of BS. I asked her what she was doing with the stick and she said "looking at it". And I've no doubt that she was. She collects sticks, rocks, leaves, and such all the time 'round here and we encourage it. Anyway, I guess they are not allowed to pick up sticks at school. Why? I mean, is it that difficult for a playground moniter to just moniter the way they are using the sticks? I am sure I'm making to big of a deal but I just feel very passionately about not putting mundane restrictions on children that prohibits them from following their natural instincts. Plus, she is super upset about it. Like, sit on the couch sullenly all night upset about it.

Unfortunately that is just one of those 'public school' things. I really don't think it warranted moving her to yellow though

I just had a pretty major allergic reaction to jalapeños, of all things. I was literally in the worst pain of my life, it felt like my face and hands were being burned off. I was really worried it scared Abbey (I was screaming with pain before we found some lidocaine and I took a Benedryl). But she was OK, actually she was just helpful and concerned. Good thing her and DH were home.

That is SO scary!!!! I'm glad your OK!

I will try to reply more tomorrow but thought I would update....vet was thinking glaucoma based on the irritation/redness of the whites of the eye and that they felt a bit hard/bulging to her. Did the eye pressure glaucoma test (just like they do to me every eye test) and was surprised that it was negative. Had another vet double check and he said the same thing and neither knows what it is. Highly suggested we set a vet ophthalmologist in the Twin Cities....closer for us than say Madison where they have another one. It will be about a 2 hour drive. Currently we have an appt for Feb 10th but might try to change that if we can. I wasn't thinking and it's 8:45 in the morning when DH doesn't get home until 7:30am so he would have to leave work early. And of course I get to stress out that the weather might be crummy and we have to reschedule it.

I hope that everything is ok with Cosmo Can't beileve they can't get you in any sooner!

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

I couldn't agree more. Many Chrissy.

[daylilies]

Actually I still do attach songs to people, just not quite as much. I attach songs to events too.

[missychrissy]

I always had some complex inner story for songs I enjoyed, too - and they were either about me or some boy I had a crush on. Depended on the focus of the song. I wonder why we all stopped doing that? I kind of miss it.

Who says we all stopped?

[Cosmosmom]

I will sing....but I might need some liquid courage first! I am really not a very good singer. It's why I went into orchestra. Even more amusing is that I have a really off sense of rythmn. I managed ok in orchestra though....I can minic something if I hear it enough usually or if I practice enough or if playing with others in orchestra. I did almost make it to state playing a solo but just missed it one year in high school.

So I think that I just dx'd Comso this morning....thought I was going to stay away from the computer on this one but the librarian in me won out. I would bet money that she has this http://www.veterinaryvision.com/dvm-scleritis.htm That first eye looks a lot like hers and she is part cocker spaniel. She has the redness in the whites of both eyes and I didn't know this but the vets yesterday both thought the eye was bulging some and harder than it should be.....which is why they both thought glaucoma right away. And were surprised when the pen thing measured the pressure as normal. Sounds like this is better as it doesn't lead to blindness like glaucoma but is less common. Sounds like the inflammation might be causing some discomfort too. My poor Cosmo has been having this issue for years....though it's gotten worse over time. She's a trooper though because she acts normal and seems to really enjoy life. Probably feels like normal to her now.
I'm REALLY po'd though that our old vet place....where we asked a few times about her red eyes just blew it off and never suggested seeing a specialist.

Chrissy, first I support you no matter what. But I'm glad that you are staying put for now instead of making such a change until seeing if meds and therapy help. It does sound like he's really trying...even though he's overdoing it. I remember how you used to talk about him and have hope that it can get back there again. Maybe after some time working on yourself, you might be ready for some joint therapy. Maybe you put down in writing some things for him to do/not do that you think might help. Like maybe 1. Tell me what you think/feel in private. 2. Do not post on FB or comment there. 3. Do not initiate a hug, wait for me to hug you. I don't know, just thinking it might help to have a sort of contract in writing....sometimes when emotional, you forget what was said to you.

[daylilies]

I'm afraid to click the link, I'm kind of squeamish about pictures like that, but poor Cosmo! I hope it's not causing her much discomfort.

Josh was asking me all sorts of big questions today. Where did we all come from, how did dinosaurs get here, etc. I need to check the library for a book of questions and answers like that, or something.

[Ky'sMom]

Mandy I also love "My Heart Will Go On!" I cannot sing it that well though because I don't have a strong voice like that. I would love to go karaoking with you just to hear you sing it! My favorite Celine Dion song to sing is "Because You Loved Me" the one featured in the movie with Michelle Pfieffer and Robert Redford where Michelle was a news reporter. I love that movie as well it is one of my favorite romantic movies. I have sung "Because You Loved Me" at karaoke before and it was decent but not all that great but I just wanted to sing it.

I admit though that I also don't put so much into music as I used to. I played a lot of instruments as a kid/teenager my grandma also made me join the church choir when I was 10 because she heard me singing some song and was impressed. Currently I don't really have time to listen to music other than being at work and when I go home I like quietness so I usually don't turn on the TV or listen to the radio. DH loves to listen to the radio but will blare it REALLY loud and it makes me get a headache so I rarely listen to music for enjoyment now.

And Chrissy, I also agree with Myles about your situation. I want the best for you and for you to be appreciated for all you do. I know that it sucks when we give so much and no one acknowledges it. I also can understand you feeling of being smothered. It is probably overwhelming for you trying to deal with so much personally and then having R keep trying to get your attention even if he is just trying to show you some concern or affection. Sometimes we just need some space to gain clarity so I truly understand that.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Can they treat that Jennifer?

Chrissy, first I support you no matter what. But I'm glad that you are staying put for now instead of making such a change until seeing if meds and therapy help. It does sound like he's really trying...even though he's overdoing it. I remember how you used to talk about him and have hope that it can get back there again. Maybe after some time working on yourself, you might be ready for some joint therapy. Maybe you put down in writing some things for him to do/not do that you think might help. Like maybe 1. Tell me what you think/feel in private. 2. Do not post on FB or comment there. 3. Do not initiate a hug, wait for me to hug you. I don't know, just thinking it might help to have a sort of contract in writing....sometimes when emotional, you forget what was said to you.

Thank you. I do hope the therapy and anti-depressants help. I'm trying to stay open minded about my, our, future.

And Chrissy, I also agree with Myles about your situation. I want the best for you and for you to be appreciated for all you do. I know that it sucks when we give so much and no one acknowledges it. I also can understand you feeling of being smothered. It is probably overwhelming for you trying to deal with so much personally and then having R keep trying to get your attention even if he is just trying to show you some concern or affection. Sometimes we just need some space to gain clarity so I truly understand that.

Erin

Thanks Erin, and that bolded line is exactly what I've been trying to convey to Rich all along. It's not about whether I love him or not, it's just that I need space to sort things out. Without confusion.

Kate, I have no idea how I'd answer those questions! Josh is really inquisitive. Conner hasn't even asked where babies come from yet, but less big questions like that!

[Suja]

I wish I could sing. In my head, I can, but even my mom tells me never, ever, to sing in public. I have always liked George Michael's songs. Celine, I can totally do without. I might be the only person on the planet that watched Titanic and went 'Die already, I want to go home'.

Jennifer, hope you do get an answer for what (if anything) ails Cosmo. Even if it is Glaucoma, it can be managed.

Kid had an ear re-check (clean), a urine check (clean), and I got her school forms filled out. She's been up since about 5:30. Woke up and played a little, then told me poop was coming. I told her it was okay, she has a diaper on, and she insisted on going to the toilet. I thought it was a ploy to get out of her room, but put her on the potty anyway, and sure enough, she pooped and peed. She's exhausted right now, so overly emotional, and MEAN. Wants to hit everyone. Watch her fight her nap.

[missychrissy]

Sounds like a rough day. I hope she goes right to sleep.

[daylilies]

I hope she feels better soon, Suja

Chrissy, he asks where babies come from too. That's easier for me since I have a pretty good grasp of how that works. Oh, he also asked me how the earth started.

[missychrissy]

He has a very inquisitive mind indeed. That's good though. He's smart.

[daylilies]

I love that about him.
I suck at putting things together, and playing physical games, but I can answer questions. Most of them anyway.

[Bridget]

Kate, check out this site. I love it.

[Suja]

Umm... Just how do you tell little kids about the birds and the bees?

Kid fell asleep in her stroller, woke up 30 minutes later, and fought me tooth and nail about going back to sleep. I really need a nap.

[Ky'sMom]

Kate, check out this site. I love it.

That is an interesting site! It even mentions one of my favorte Nova (PBS program) shows on it at the bottom about Darwin's personal struggle with the theory of evolution versus religious creationism. That was a good one!

About the birds and bees, I am just very direct. I also checked out a book from the library for Ky and told him as simply as possible how babies are made. I mostly focused on the sperm/egg part though and the travel of both and what happens after fertilization moreso than the actual sex. DH was too embarrassed to talk to Ky about it and then he was upset that I was so "graphic" but I'm like, um....that is what happens! I think I told him around 4 years old or 5 one of the two.

Erin