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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #27091

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    Ugh. When my dh says "I'm sure we can figure it out on the fly" that really means that I will spend the week trying to get it all organized and set up so it all works out. Sometimes I really don't like being the wife.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  2. #27092
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    Those were some beautiful kids, Myles!

    Kate, definitely try to dwell more on the positive than the negative and don't let the whole parenting thing get you down. It's not an easy job!

    Katy, sorry you're left with organizing everything; maybe look on the brightside and organize something you really want to do if he doesn't want to have any input on the decisions!

    It has been raining for 3 days now with 60-100 mph winds.....look at my poor little tree on my front lawn!



    There have been a few deaths from the winds; one guy got impaled by a tree branch that flew through his front windshield and another got hit by a big truck that overturned from the wind at a pedestrian crossing! I think I'm just going to stay inside til it passes over (hopefully some time this week/end!)

  3. #27093
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I hope you're right Chrissy!
    He was a sweetie tonight...he wanted to cuddle for a long time after I read him his book and he loves to play with my hair. He messed it all up and said "You look beautiful like that, Mommy"
    I'm sorry about the rought time at the library But that is so incredibly sweet

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #27094
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    There have been a few deaths from the winds; one guy got impaled by a tree branch that flew through his front windshield and another got hit by a big truck that overturned from the wind at a pedestrian crossing! I think I'm just going to stay inside til it passes over (hopefully some time this week/end!)
    WOw that is scary! I would definitely being staying inside as well!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  5. #27095
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Ugh. When my dh says "I'm sure we can figure it out on the fly" that really means that I will spend the week trying to get it all organized and set up so it all works out. Sometimes I really don't like being the wife.
    It's hard being responsible for everythhing, it sucks.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #27096
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    Ash, that's crazy. I can't even imagine what 100 mph winds would be like. I think I heard about the guy being impaled by the tree branch somewhere in the last day or so. I didn't know it was near you. Stay safe!

    I had a talk with Rich last night and it was awful. I was nice, of course, and tried to be honest without being accusatory or anything. I just told him how I felt and it made him cry which made me cry. And then he had to tell me how he felt and I couldn't handle it. I feel selfish and mean but I had to stop him and say, "I can't do this any more." I cannot think of his feelings to the exclusion of my own, which I think I've done for too many years already. I did tell him that I didn't know what I wanted to do and that moving out wasn't anything that was going to happen in the imminent future. I don't want to give him false hope but I don't want him getting all upset about it either. Ugh.

    Right now I don't know what's harder. Parenting or being a spouse.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #27097
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    Chrissy, I don't know what to say hon I just wanted to offer some

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  8. #27098
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    It's ok. I know no one else can give me any answers.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #27099
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    It's ok. I know no one else can give me any answers.
    I have the ultimate solution.

    We both ditch our husbands and run off together

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  10. #27100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I have the ultimate solution.

    We both ditch our husbands and run off together
    Awesome!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #27101

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    Wait for me!

  12. #27102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Wait for me!
    Sweet!

  13. #27103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I have the ultimate solution.

    We both ditch our husbands and run off together
    My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.

  14. #27104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Sweet!
    Maybe we can start an all female commune?

  15. #27105

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.
    That's awesome. My best friend and I always talk about raising our kids together and ditching our men.

  16. #27106
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    Sounds great, except the one night stand business. Ick.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #27107

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    Ash, I hope everything is okay over there!

    Am I too late for the commune?

  18. #27108
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    It's never too late!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #27109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.
    Too funny!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Am I too late for the commune?
    Definitely not! The more the merrier!!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  20. #27110
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    Chrissy.

    Yeah my MIL says she is done with men. Tried marriage three times and in the waiting part of divorcing number 3. Had some dates and chatting online but says they all turn out to be pigs or game players. She is just waiting friendship and companionship now. We just need to get her up by us already.

    Not sure that going lesbian is the answer though....those relationships can have just as many issues!

    I too like having my hair played with. I LOVE going to get my hair done and when I get it washed, the scalp massage...OMG that is great. My sister and I used to do each others hair all the time....and we did dad's hair (he actually had a LOT of hair back than....long, wavy thick red hair....I consider my hair brown but look like a redhead in the sunlight) a lot but we couldn't use scissors, gel or hair spray. Brushes, hair accessories and a bit of water were ok.

    So I get American Girl catalogs....and DH LOVES looking at them. He used to think that they were so expensive but now he's like, well isn't any worse than buying Legos. LOL I know his mom wants a boy and said she told Grandma before she died to find us a boy (they are catholic and believers). I think that DH and I have a bit of a preference for a girl. But yeah he likes all the accessories and animals and stuff you can get for those dolls. Like the new one this year is into gymnastics and he was like they have everything but a locker...they dropped the ball there and she should have a locker. LOL

    I'm happy, it's almost Friday. And it's sunny out and i think that we might actually hit 41 degrees! That is super warm and might be close to record breaking this time of year. I think that last year we only had a few days all month that we were not below zero at some point in the day.

    Oh and Kate, ummm I think that I even see my dogs as a reflection of myself. LOL And I know DH takes it personally when the dog doesn't listen or is not behaving. He was not happy with molly whining so much in class, doesn't seem interested in the treats like the others and how she sticks to us and doesn't want to play like a lot of the other puppies. But than we did a follow me exercise and a name recognition one and she was a champ at that so he was a lot happier that we got something she was so good at.
    I told him if she never did anything else....I want the dog that is attached to me and follows me around and comes when called. That she can sit and lie down is a bonus. So far so good! Really hoping that with some more work and time that she can be in the yard like Cosmo without a leash...our yard is not fenced in and probably will not be (I'm not on a busy street).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  21. #27111
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    I am not going to join the commune....but can we still be friends right?

    I had enough of all female living in college going to a women's college.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #27112
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    Of course, we're friends for life Jennifer!

    And I gotta warn you, I had 3 girls and none of them took to dolls or anything girlie at all. Much to my own disappointment, because I loved dolls growing up! I guess so much so that I couldn't wait to have a real life baby of my own.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #27113

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    Hey all, Ashley those winds sound brutal. I hate wind. I heard that report about the man being impaled, how sad.

    I feel like a total wimp, we're having a cold front and I am frozen, my hands and toes are so cold. I keep drinking hot tea. Even though I do like the change of seasons, I loathe being cold. On the other hand I also hate being hot. I want a perfect 76 degrees all the time, thankyouverymuch. Not sure where I would find that, San Diego maybe?

    speaking of communes. One time my sister and I were on vacation in Honolulu, and our hotel room looked down upon a very laid back kind of a commune looking apartment complex. We spent way too much time watching the people come and go, tend to their rooftop garden, it was actually fascinating. This was years ago, but I can still see the dreadlocked guys. I was a teenager, so I am sure my hormones were the ones fascinated, heh.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  24. #27114
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    Coming from 90 degree weather to relatively cold weather has been brutal. Plus, the kid keeps wanting to go outside (she practically lived outside when we were in India), and unhappy when she can't. I'm like Shelley - don't like hot or cold weather, although if I had to pick one, I'd choose cold over hot. Someone I know moved from Ithaca, NY to Fairbanks, AK, and they've been clocking some impressive temps in the -40 degree range. That kind of cold, I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle.

    I love having my hair played with, but not by kids, although I've been known to let them play with it so it would buy me some peace and quiet. If my mom would let me (I haven't tried lately), I'd still lie on her lap and have her stroke my hair. I've always loved that.

    ETA: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/...ber-23/250830/ Interesting that work-life somehow translates to work-life with kids. What about work-life balance for everyone that doesn't have kids? They don't need it?
    Last edited by Suja; 01-05-2012 at 11:33 AM.

  25. #27115

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    I would pick hot and muggy over cold any day. I used to say it's because I was born in a tropical climate, but I guess not if you can be born in India and prefer the cold. Thanks for throwing my hypothesis out the window, Suja! LOL.

    Those are some scary winds, Ash. Of all things to be paranoid about, I now have to be afraid of the combination of branches in the breeze. Oy!

    Chrissy, , it sounds like you had a really tough conversation last nite. I can see how hard you're trying to be a friend to Rich. Feel free not to answer this, but can you talk with us more about what's missing? Do you feel like he lacks independence and initiative (as you'd mentioned before)? Or is it mainly that you don't feel a certain way about him that you want to feel for your husband? Or maybe there are things he needs to work on, where, if they went away, you'd actually want to stick around? Honestly, you don't have to respond. I'm just curious and want to be able to provide feedback where I can.

    I understand the commune thing. I had similar ideas once. My high school BFF and I always said we'd live together if we weren't attached by a certain age, and that we'd just give each other high fives every night before going to bed.

    Speaking of high fives, Santi has just this week started to greet B in the mornings with a deep embrace and a kiss on the lips. I want to offer a correction, but don't want it to seem like it's because I'm anti-gay. I'd be uncomfy with it even if it were a girl buddy doing it that way. Santi's mommy is just very hands on, an so that's how he must have learned to show affection. It's actually very sweet and cute, but probably an area where some guidance is appropriate. Should I teach them a new special handshake just for them?

  26. #27116
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    Hot or cold doesn't matter to me.

    I absolutely loathe humidity though!!! Miserable
    Last edited by Smplyme89; 01-05-2012 at 11:58 AM. Reason: I can't type

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  27. #27117
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    Growing up in AR and reading the Bronte sisters' novels, I always thought I'd love living in grey, cold England, but I'd prefer something a bit sunnier and warmer. I think about Spain often! LOL.

    I hate having my hair touched. I can get over sensitized (is that a word? My brain is slow today) very easily. My brother used to pull my hair as he walked past me any chance he got, so maybe that's why I don't like anyone touching my hair now. I don't mind getting my head massaged or having my hair done but I don't like people just playing with my hair.

    Myles, I don't know what I'd do with the S&B greeting situation. Do you think if you ignored it that he'd eventually greet him some other way?

    And hey, Shelley; I haven't seen you post here for a bit and was wondering where you were! Glad to see you're still hanging out with us!

  28. #27118

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    Gilly used to hug and kiss everybody he met, it was fine when it someone we knew, but one day when he wanted to kiss the grocery store clerk, I had to gently get out that situation! He eventually outgrew it.

    Oh and I love to have my hair played with, my dh does it and I love it. And I know this will sound weird but I love to have my feet tickled. My oldest niece, who is 11 years younger than me, she and I started tickling each other's feet one day, and now we do it when whenever we see each other. My 2 other nieces do it too. I know most people don't want their feet touched, let alone tickled, what can I say, I am an odd one.

    Ash, I never realized how much the weather affected my moods until I moved to Florida, where it's almost always sunny. A couple of winters back, a friend who in lives in NY, told me it's harder to be depressed when it's sunny outside all the time. So true. When I lived in Alaska, I lived like a bear, eating and hibernating all winter long and waiting for spring.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  29. #27119
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    Weather definitely affects my mood as well. A couple of sunless days, and I turn even *****ier than normal. Back when I had PPD, sunshine was part of the treatment.

  30. #27120
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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Ash, I never realized how much the weather affected my moods until I moved to Florida, where it's almost always sunny. A couple of winters back, a friend who in lives in NY, told me it's harder to be depressed when it's sunny outside all the time. So true. When I lived in Alaska, I lived like a bear, eating and hibernating all winter long and waiting for spring.
    Yes, that is so true! I think we've had a particularly grey fall/winter this year after not much of a summer, so it's really affected me this year. I think I might look at getting one of those SAD light boxes and see if that helps. The other day when I was feeling homesick, I browsed a realty web site for my home town and just looking at the pictures of the houses in all the sunshine made me long to be there right then and there!

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