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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #27001

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    LOL, once I ran all the appliances in the kitchen at once (microwave, oven, toaster oven) and blew a fuse.

    Fortunately nobody we know drops by unannounced. My inlaws won't even set foot in the house anymore since I kicked them out for calling us lazy when Josh wasn't potty trained yet.

  2. #27002
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    My MIL (who lives 6+ hours away) once dropped by with 15 minutes notice because she didn't want me to clean up for her. She nearly gave me a heart attack, trying to clean the whole house in 15 minutes. I don't think I have ever quite forgiven her for that. Who makes a 6 1/2 hour road trip to visit someone without any notice? What if we had been out of town?

    I have not talked to the teachers yet. We haven't been back to school yet. We're still on Christmas break. Tomorrow is their first day back.


  3. #27003

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    Ohh, I missed the part of that where you said he told you just the other day.

  4. #27004

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    Oh I read that as your mil stopping over for some reason. Now if my dad stopped over it wouldn't phase me a bit because he knows I suck at housekeeping!
    Running any electric appliances in our house is an art because certain things cannot run together or we blow a fuse.

  5. #27005
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    Our electric is like that and now that everyone has laptops, tablets, smartphones that constantly need charging, and electric heaters, doing anything has become a strange balancing act. We've learned we have to unplug the bathroom heater before blow drying our hair. Unfortunately, the girls forget to plug it back in. Brr!

    My brother is in and out of our house all the time. My in-laws have stopped in numerous times. They never say anything about my house even though my mil is ocd and her house is always spotless. I actually like having company so I don't mind people dropping in.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #27006

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    Ky is very disappointed that school does not start until Wednesday for the new semester. He said he is bored at home since our cousin Brandon left. I always invite kids over for Ky to hang with when he is on an extended break so he won't be too bored by me. I always will find something he doesn't like to do if he tells me he is bored and sometimes I feel bad about that but honestly I figure he has a good imagination and has lots of toys and our yard and even Elle to play with, even though he told me that she is starting to annoy him LOL! But usually if he tells me he is bored I'll have him wash dishes or do laundry or iron or some other chore he doesn't like to do. I find it encourages him to find something fun to do on his own, but he misses his friends at school and wants to tell them about his Christmas and what he did and such so I can't blame him.

    I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it much. I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

    Erin

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    Ugh, Erin. I have to back tomorrow, too. I know what you mean about just toughing it out. So long as I can manage to not deal with our dept head or one of her office staff, my job is delightful. I had a nice break, but I'm not ready for it to be over.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  8. #27008

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

    Erin
    I got fired from a job because I didn't appear to be panicked all day long. That was one of the reasons at least.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  9. #27009

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    How strange that people want you to be stressed out at work. I guess that's why I never liked cooking though. The low quality establishments are all about speed and accuracy and no quality and the high end places want all three. You can't win!

  10. #27010
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    omg Erin! I'm shocked that she only gave you a 2 out of 5. She sounds like a nutjob. I'm glad you got the 10k raise, but sometimes it's not about the $ at all.

    Myles, I cannot believe you got fired for not looking panicked enough. (I believe you, I'm just stunned). People never cease to amaze me.

    I'm supposed to return to work today, but I have my head shrink appointment instead. It's an intake only, so no real therapy will get done. Depending on what time I get done (and what the weather is doing), I may or may not go to work after. I think I'll be there from 9:30-12, and my work is an hour away. It doesn't seem worth it, but I don't want to waste all my sick hours either.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #27011

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    My MIL (who lives 6+ hours away) once dropped by with 15 minutes notice because she didn't want me to clean up for her. She nearly gave me a heart attack, trying to clean the whole house in 15 minutes. I don't think I have ever quite forgiven her for that. Who makes a 6 1/2 hour road trip to visit someone without any notice? What if we had been out of town?

    I have not talked to the teachers yet. We haven't been back to school yet. We're still on Christmas break. Tomorrow is their first day back.
    My MIL does that too. When she lived 3 hours away she would call and say she was "One her way to see us" after two hours of driving. Now that she's 12 hours away, she just changes up what day she'll get here. Like for Christmas when she called to say she'd be here a day earlier, the same day she got here. But in my case my MIL is pretty awesome, and I think the no-notice thing is just her wanting to see Abbey rightthisminute. Anyone who loves my daughter like that makes me happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Ky is very disappointed that school does not start until Wednesday for the new semester. He said he is bored at home since our cousin Brandon left. I always invite kids over for Ky to hang with when he is on an extended break so he won't be too bored by me. I always will find something he doesn't like to do if he tells me he is bored and sometimes I feel bad about that but honestly I figure he has a good imagination and has lots of toys and our yard and even Elle to play with, even though he told me that she is starting to annoy him LOL! But usually if he tells me he is bored I'll have him wash dishes or do laundry or iron or some other chore he doesn't like to do. I find it encourages him to find something fun to do on his own, but he misses his friends at school and wants to tell them about his Christmas and what he did and such so I can't blame him.

    I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it much. I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

    Erin
    2/5 ?!! I'm sorry your boss is crazy. Why would she want everyone around her to be unnecessarily stressed out? Maybe she's trying to make up for the fact that she's MIA most of the time by appearing really busy and overwhelmed while she's there.

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Myles, I cannot believe you got fired for not looking panicked enough.
    That was Katy, not Myles. Actually, where the heck is Myles? wherever you are, and hope you are doing OK!



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  12. #27012
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    That was Katy, not Myles. Actually, where the heck is Myles? wherever you are, and hope you are doing OK!
    D'oh...obviously I'm not awake yet. I do know the difference between them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #27013

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Ugh, Lydia, that would bother me. I actually remember sort of enjoying school but still would much rather have stayed home with my mom. I loved the weekends and dreaded monday. In fact, I do remember praying to god at night to make the night last really, really long so that I'd not have to go to school so soon. But while I was actually at school I'm pretty sure I enjoyed myself. Because of those feelings I think I can understand where Savana is coming from.

    Kate, all I can say is that I am glad my mil is not close enough to ever surprise me and see how we live when we don't have company! lol. Last night I was a little horrified myself when I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and saw my kitchen. The problem around here is that I cannot run my dishwasher and my washing machine at the same time so if I'm running laundry the dishes pile up and vice versa. When the washer is filling you cannot even get a drink of water. Is that a first world problem? That's what I tell dbf and Savana when they complain about it. We have clean water right?
    This reminded me of my laundry related FWP: My front loading washing machine has such a high capacity that it takes forever to get a load of clothes to fill it up, so I have to wait a week to wear my favorite jeans again.

    ---
    I forgot I had a story to share. Yesterday afternoon DH decided he was going to use his Christmas $$$ (from the ILs, I used mine on cooking gadgets) go buy and install a reverse osmosis filter for under our kitchen sink. I'm thrilled because then I'd have good water to cook with too. So he gets the filter and after dinner starts installing it, with a tiny apprentice. Abbey is over-the-top beaming because she's helping Daddy fix something, I have never seen her like that. She also surprised me by knowing what a ratchet is ("wachet", lol). So DH goes to the garage to get something and Abbey stays under the sink to keep an eye on things, when suddenly I hear a shriek and see water gushing everywhere. I run behind the counter and pull out Abbey, who is holding a hose that is squirting water all over the kitchen. I start yelling for DH saying "Help! Something is happened! Something is happening!" because my preggo brain can't think to say "water everywhere". DH runs in and ducks under the sink to turn some valve, then we all look around to see the flooded kitchen and soaked Abbey. I clean up everything while DH soothes Abbey's wounded pride and then they go back to "fixing", until DH breaks an important (only orderable online) piece and the project is packed up until he can get a new part.

    At this point, I'm at my mom's group meeting, but according to DH, Abbey threw the biggest tantrum he's ever seen. Granted, we never really see tantrums, because she's super calm, but according to him, she's MAD. She wanted to keep "fixing" and she was super angry about quitting time, screaming, red in the face, completely out of character for her. When I got home, she had calmed down and was taking a bath but the first thing she said to me was "I wanted to keep fixing. I just stopped being mad at daddy now." In the end she convinced him to get out the set of wrenches again so she could fix the table, and he gave her some extra tubing, so she was happy again. But poor DH had a hell of a night. Then I loved him even more because instead of complaining about all the 'help' he got, he said to me "I love working with Abbey. She's so cute. Did you see how she didn't want to stop when she was in the middle of the project? That's just like me. I'm going to get her a set of little wrenches for her birthday."



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  14. #27014
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    That's adorable

    Bridget, that reminds me, I was gonna say that we used to have an issue with not being able to run 2 water appliances at our current house before, but since getting water conserving dishwasher and washing machine, as well as using a shower head that restricts the water flow, we can actually use all 3 at the same time now. And flush the toilet. We haven't made any other changes either.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #27015
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    Molly, that is so sweet about your husband!

    Erin, I can't believe your boss scored you so low, but there are so many crap bosses out there. My DH had a horrible boss with his last position and he finally moved and his confidence has gone back up after taking a real battering from the last evil boss. I'm glad you have the confidence and know that your boss is just a nutter.

    I e-mailed my sister today to ask her if we could try to be friends again. It's my new year's resolution to try to be nicer to people. I feel like I should give it one last shot before I completely cut her out of my life. It's been a year since we last properly talked. My cousin who has been missing for 18 months has a sister and she recently was talking on FB about how she wished she had spoken to him more then last couple years before he disappeared but his life choices weren't good ones and she didn't want to involve herself with him, so it makes me feel like I should at least try with my own sister.

    The weather here has been so grey here lately. I think I might invest in one of those S-A-D boxes to see if that helps, but I've started recently daydreaming of moving back to the US just for some sunshine! I've never had an urge to move back to the US, so I think the lack of sunshine might have something to do with it.

    We went out today to one of those soft play places with my SIL and her 3 kids, my MIL, and 2 other friends and their 3 kids. It was OK for the most part but I couldn't socialize at all because I was chasing Cash around and then in the end, all the other kids turned on Travis and kept being mean to him (all of them were throwing balls at him from the ball pool and then were all trying to hit him at another time when he was trying to go in the playhouse with him.) I lost it at the end because I was so upset for Travis and shouted at them all and told them they were all "naughty children!" I think the other mothers were a little shocked by my outburst and came running over and apologizing for their kids' behavior. I felt like I could cry and just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Travis has a hard enough time making friends and to have all 5 of the other kids turning on him just really upset me. I suppose that's another reason I'm thinking of the US now. I guess I'm nostalgic of my own childhood and a little sad that there are experiences I had as a child that my own children won't have like playing baseball and football with the neighborhood kids, and watching American sports on TV, or going and playing in the woods and walking down dirt roads and playing on the neighbors' bales of hay.

    I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'll stop for now. *sigh.*

  16. #27016
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    I got an email from Mylah about Bodhi's upcoming birthday the other day, so she's not completely absent. I have noticed she's not been around here much though. Come back, Mylah! We miss you!

    That is a sweet story about Abbey, and how cool that your dh was able to find a common bond like that instead of just being unhappy about the tantrum. Aw!

    I have not been doing anything with my hair since I got back from vacation, and yesterday I just put it back in a ponytail, which I never do because I don't think it looks very good with my face. Better to just leave my hair down and clip up any particular bothersome bits. DD looked at me and said, "Mommy, you look adorable!!!" and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She loves ponytails, because she doesn't get them very often and she considers them very special.

    We can't do multiple water-using appliances at the same time, either. Our house is pretty old and was not designed for modern appliances and plumbing.

    I did some 2012 New Year activities with the twins yesterday. Questionnaires about the past year and the year to come, and collages. DD said her goal was to learn to read, and she thinks she needs some glasses and then she would be able to read. She also said what she loved most about 2011 was "Playing with you, Mommy." DS said his hardest thing of the year was "Flip drip crip tip pips" so I decided the real answer was either speaking English or answering questions seriously. Sigh. They are such a contrast. Last night DS, instead of eating dinner, watched his hand move around and then babbled nonsense and fell out of his chair a couple of times. At one point, it occurred to me that he was acting like he was on drugs. I mentioned it to DH and he said, "Yes, exactly, or schizotypal." So of course I started worrying a bit, because his behavior has been getting worse and worse, and then I remembered that when he's around another boy his age, he is actually the one who is less inclined to babble nonsense, and he is better able to sit still, and he is less likely to shout random things or just be inappropriately loud. And his teachers tell me he's just fine. And when we are at parties and stuff, people love him and talk about how polite he is. I don't know.


  17. #27017
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    I would be ok with my MIL dropping by because we live almost exactly the same when she is visiting. Only things I really do different are wear nightgowns instead of short t-shirts to bed....I have my own bathroom but get up in the night to bring the puppy to the laundry room.....and always shut the bathroom door....which we both don't do all the time if it is just us home and the bathroom is down the hall. One of the reasons I think MIL will pretty easy to live with is that we can be us around her.
    We have both been talking about terms of when she moves in instead of if.

    My house was built in 2010....so you would think it wouldn't have any issues. But still once in a while we go to flip a switch and nothing happens. And it's not because of using a bunch of high power things at once. So DH has to go downstairs and flip the switch back on.

    Erin, we learned when young not to complain about being bored. My mom would tell us that only boring people got bored....otherwise we should be able to find a book to read or something to play. Or she would find chores to for us to do.

    Aww Molly that Abbey story is really adorable!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #27018
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    OMG I was just checking my cc statements and realized that I spent over 1K on Legos for DH. In a 3 week time frame. Some was for xmas and some for his birthday in less than 3 weeks. But still I hadn't added it up like that before. Thank god most of the stuff on his wish is now bought! Especially the few things he really wanted that were discontinued and therefore expensive on Ebay. Seems like a good idea...people buy certain sets, hold onto them a few years and sell them for 4 times the price, if not more for unopened sets.
    Dh will rarely spend money on himself so it's good that he's gotten something he enjoys for once. Except he might freak out when the bills come in the mail....usually he likes to spread out purchases much more. Least I haven't done any shopping for myself....if it wasn't for legos and puppy vet bills, it would have been a good month. I will be happy once Molly is done with her shots and is spayed....going every few weeks adds up.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #27019
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    Ash, it's awful to see your child ganged up on. I would have reacted the same way. Those mothers should have intervened before you called them naughty children.

    L, of course it's totally normal to worry about our kids. I'm sure they're fine and will be fine, but nothing will alleviate that worry.

    that's a lotta legos Jennifer.

    I had my intake appointment at mental health. This therapy thing is going to be a lot tougher for me than I anticipated. I didn't want to tell the therapist anything. When she tried to get specifics about why I was there, I was like, "oh, you know...stuff." Gah. Next week I see 'my' therapist so hopefully I'll be able to bond with her and tell her about the 'stuff.'

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #27020

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    I hope you can connect better with your actual therapist, Chrissy. It's always hard for me to talk about "stuff" with therapists too. A good one will drag it out of me, ask me good questions.

  21. #27021
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    For all I wanted to cry just a couple weeks ago, that was my biggest fear today. I absolutely didn't want to talk about anything that would make me cry.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #27022

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    I cry a lot at the therapist. It makes me emotional to talk about things that bother me or make me ashamed. But it's okay. They've seen it all before!

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    Yeah, I know. I think part of it for me was knowing she wasn't going to be 'my' therapist and that I'd have to go through everything all over again. The other part was knowing I'd have to go to work after and I didn't want to get the water works started and not be able to stop them. Going forward, my appointments will be after work so it won't be a big deal if I start crying.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #27024

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    I hope it helps

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    Me too. I wonder how long you have to be in therapy before it starts to feel like it's doing any good. Just a rhetorical question.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #27026

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    I think it depends how good and proactive the therapist is and how open you are about everything. If you go and just kind of talk about stuff and don't feel like you're making any progress then things won't get better.

  27. #27027

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    Therapy is hard. I had to go through a lot of it as a child and teen to deal with the abuse I suffered as a child.

    I only had one good therapist though out of about 5 or 6 of them. The others I thought were idiots. I remember reading something though that put a lot into perspective for my own situation and has helped me throughout life. It was written by someone on TV so at first I didn't take it seriously, I think it was Iyanla Vanzant. Basically she said that once you can talk about something that used to make you emotional and cry without getting emotional and crying, then that means you are starting to heal. I used to always choke up when I thought of certain things or moments in my life but after a while those emotions got less and less and I do think I am fully healed now from all of that. Many in my family don't believe me but honestly I think I am since I do not think about it, I do not think "what ifs" anymore and I can speak matter of factly about former traumatic events without speaking through tears or not being able to speak at all about it and becoming a bumbling mess.

    I even feel I am getting past the tough spell that DH and I went through after Elle was born because for a long time I would get so POd that I'd cry if I even thought about her birth or the months preceding her birth and what an a$$ he was. I think I am finally getting over it since we talked about that time period last week and I didn't get upset and didn't feel tears in my eyes. So her advice was to talk about those situations often and put them into perspective, find out if they have a lesson for you, or if you need to forgive someone, or what sort of action you need to take in your life and move on from there, or if there is nothing to learn, do your best to get past that time.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 01-03-2012 at 03:17 PM.

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    Erin, that makes perfect sense to me. I know exactly what you mean. Most the time, I'm like that when talking about my mom or things I experienced because of her illness. It's really behind me and not something that bothers me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #27029

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    I need advice on this pants wetting thing. I was on the treadmill and I saw Josh pulling at his pants crotch like he does when he either has to pee or has already wet himself. I told him to go pee and asked him if he was wet. He said no and I said I was going to check him in 3 minutes and he had that long to go change if he was wet. He just sat there and when I checked him he was indeed wet. He didn't even seem to care that he was wet or that he lied to me.
    We were at the library after school and I noticed he was wet there too. I don't even know how long he was wet for since he never seems to tell anyone.
    We need a throwing hands up in the air in defeat smily...lol

  30. #27030
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    Travis tries to hold it til the last minute and sometimes has a little wet patch by the time he dances to the toilet. What I do a lot of times to avoid that is when I see him doing the pee dance and he says he doesn't need to go, I'll pick him up and put him on the toilet and say, "I think you need to pee." And he'll pee and say, "Yeah, I did."

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