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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26971
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    I feel like I was ran over by a train. Not hung over, but sore from dancing. My body isn't used to moving in those directions.

    I have to put ice in my wine. All of it. I would puke if it were less than fridge temp.

    L, I hope that your ppd is going away and you'll get that serenity back.

    Last night was great until the end. I went outside to smoke and was talking to this kid (21). I was really feeling good and I don't remember a lot of it, but he was telling me I was a milf basically and I was laughing at him. I remember telling him he was my daughter's age and saying something about my husband...who came out the door at that moment. I'm ashamed to say that my husband attacked the poor kid and it got to be a cluster-f--k really fast. My brother came out and saw my husband fighting with a few guys and he had to jump in even though the bouncers almost had it broken up. I was so humiliated. Talk about a buzz kill. Rich was mad because I'd left him to go dance and didn't show up for an hour and a half, and then when he found me he saw another man's arm around me. My argument is that he knows I love to dance-I always have. I blame it on being raised by a bass player that was always active in a band and always took me along. And drunk people often talk with their arms around each other. I didn't feel threatened in the least. We were outside in a group of people just having a good time. I'm sure all our problems recently contributed to Rich's rage. Plus, he drank for the first time in months. He cannot drink but I'm not going to tell him what to do. Anyway, we've been out before and he knows once I start dancing I don't stop for hours. This was nothing new.

    For me, he pretty much undid all the progress I felt we made in the last week or two. We had a really great time up until the last 10-15 minutes and unfortunately that's gonna be what I remember the most from the whole night.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 01-01-2012 at 01:28 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #26972

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    So sorry Chrissy. It sucks when you're having a great night and one dumb fight ruins it all. That happened to us last NYE.

    Yes Karen, I think her father was the 5th doctor. She is pretty!

    I drink red wine at room temp but I like white wine really cold. Last night I had some of my favorite sparkling red wine which I drink cold because it's like champagne.

  3. #26973
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    So sorry Chrissy. It sucks when you're having a great night and one dumb fight ruins it all. That happened to us last NYE.
    Really? I didn't know that. I thought we were much too old for that nonsense. I still think we're too old for it. I told Rich and Tim both I'm never going out with either of them ever again and Tim said, "I don't blame you" and laughed at me. The truth is, I like having my brother around because I feel safe with him. He's never had to do anything other than look intimidating. He wouldn't have even gotten involved if Rich didn't start a huge fight by the front door.

    Tim did have his own drama of sorts. I don't know what he said or did to this chick, but she was driving away and saw him outside. She stopped her car in the street and came at him shrieking at him and swatted him upside his head with her large purse. He just stood there and I laughed at him. She was maybe 5'4" and 120 lbs if that and my brother is a huge guy. He just said, "Women" when she got back in her car and drove off. I have no idea what that was about and when I asked Tim about it today he remembered it happening, but doesn't know why she did that or who she was.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #26974
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    We're a bunch of rednecks. There's no escaping it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #26975

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    I am laughing at the image of the woman hitting Tim upside the head with a big purse!
    Drama isn't just for rednecks ;)

    Yeah, last year, NKOTB and the Backstreet Boys performed at the ball drop in Times Square. We watched it and drank and ate, and had fun and then had a stupid fight because I didn't want to have sex, which is normal. We just fight more about it when we've been drinking. Last night was a semi-fail as far as sex goes too, but we didn't fight about it. But I was so upset that he ruined was was otherwise a really fun night last year.
    By the way NYE is also Joey's birthday

  6. #26976
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    It really was funny. Later I thought about it and kinda felt bad that I didn't come to his defense. I didn't even think about it, but I expect my brother to have my back if I get into trouble.

    Oh, I remember you talking about that now. What a bummer. I hate it when one thing can ruin an otherwise perfect evening.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #26977
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    Ugh, sorry for the drama. You're right, he's too old for bar fights! If it makes you feel any better, my DH would flip if some guy had his arm around me, too.

  8. #26978

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    Yeah, dbf would have probably not been cool with that either. Not sure he'd fight the guy but likely sxchange some words.
    Lydia I don't feel serene lately either. I feel totally unwound most of the time and astounded that dbf just sits there while the kids run circles around me. I also feel like I am always yelling. Not angry yelling but just to be heard. I want to change that fo sho.

  9. #26979
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    My DH would have fought him, too.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    My dh almost got into a couple of fights in Mexico with people who shoved past us in line or took our taxi. I'm not sure how he'd feel about someone with his arm around me, though.

    ETA: Not really almost got into fights, I should add. That didn't happen. He had sharp words several times for people who cut in front of us or who were presumed to cut in front of us. At one point he apologized to someone who he snarled at by the airport shuttle, "You don't really think you're going to cut in front of my family, do you?" and the guy said "No, I was just walking over here to get in line," completely innocently and dh said it had been a long day full of rude people. Still, I tend to not be very aggressive in situations like that - I don't get angry, but I have enough assertiveness to tap someone on the shoulder and point out that the line is over there. I get a little embarrassed about dh's immediate jumping to conclusions that everyone is out to get us and we need to get them back sort of mentality. It's probably my WASPY background, which is weird because I also have plenty of redneck in me.

    However, the cab situation was bad. We were there first, we had 9 people, a large van pulled up and a regular taxi at the same time. The other family of 6 said "We can't fit in that cab, so we'll take the van." The mom in the group said that we were there first and we had more people, so we should take it. Her mother said "Nonsense, they can wait for another one." The mom said, "Why don't we put as many people as we can in our taxi and then try to share the van with them?" (We were all going to the same place.) Her mother told the other taxi to drive away, climbed into the van, and said something to the effect of finder's keepers. I was furious. It had been a long wait for a cab, and we ended up walking the whole way back, my mil with her bum hip and me carrying a 30-pound baby. We had a couple of bad run-ins like that with people from NYC, so dh was feeling pretty aggressive.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 01-01-2012 at 08:41 PM.


  11. #26981

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    Oh yes DH would definitely jump all over someone who had his arm around me. I can see it all playing out now.

  12. #26982

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    My computer is acting up AGAIN... so sick of AT&T here. Just wanted to post a hi in case I cannot get on this week. As I am typing my service is going in and out. Did I mention I am sick of AT&T...oh well..

    Erin

  13. #26983

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    I had a really great post all typed out but lost it and don't want to figure out how to find the saved message I typed but to sum it up. I just wanted to let you know L that I also know what you mean about losing your calm. I had PPD after Ky and I know I had it after Elle but it was not diagnosed because I just knew I had it and was dealing with too much with DH and our relationship at the time and didn't want to go to a doc about it or speak to anyone about it because I felt I had enough on my plate and that it would eventually pass, which it did.

    That thread in Random, about what we think is awesome about ourselves, I put my calmness. I am VERY calm and peaceful most of the time. It irks people, mostly DH that I can be so peaceful and not get upset at things other people will get upset about. When I went through PPD after both births I was not myself and I was VERY frazzled and not calm and it was tortuous for me so I know what you mean. It took me a lot of intense focus on regaining myself to stop being frazzled and pulled every which way. I hope you can regain your serenity soon as well because it sucks to feel like that. I know for me it does. ETA: It took me about 18 months after each birth for me to feel myself again, actually it was after they weaned from BF before I felt totally right.

    We didn't do anything for NYE except watch the ball drop and I made New Year's Nachos, which is nachos with beef, chicken, and shrimp and other homemade toppings like guacamole, salsa, pico de gallo, and others. I only make this on NYE so Ky loves it and looks forward to it every NYE. DH decided to stay home with us this year. He has horrible luck on NYE going out and always has a horrible time so he decided to give up on trying to find a good time this year. We had a great time. I also bought some sparkling cider to drink. I thought of maybe getting wine but I get sleepy and horny when I drink wine and NYE was the last day of AF so I didn't want to get horny since neither DH nor I like to DTD when AF is around.

    Elle cracked me up about the cider. I poured her some when there was about a minute left until midnight (she did really well but got kind of nutty around 11pm, which is what she does when she is sleepy, she acts like a fool!) She immediately wanted to drink the cider and I told her she should wait until New Years so we could toast and drink it together. She said "Toast! I want some toast!!" and was all excited. DH said since his baby wanted toast he would make her toast and he made her some, then Ky wanted some and we all toasted the new year with actual toast instead of cider. I thought it was cute.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 01-01-2012 at 11:42 PM.

  14. #26984

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    Erin, that is the best nye toast story I have ever heard!

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    That is awesome, Erin! Here's a toast to you and yours! And thanks for giving me more hope about getting my calm back.

    DD has been asking me about when she can move out. She asked if she would live with us in college, or if she could move out before then. I told her that she could keep living but a lot of people move out when they go to college, and she would probably like to do that, too. It's easier to make close friends if you live at the college with other people your age. I added that she would be a grown-up then, anyway, so she could move out and live on her own. She said, "What the--!" (a new expression she and Ronin have been repeating ad nauseum that DH says he's very proud of, because they learned it from him and it was due to a certain amount of restraint on his part).

    She asked when she would become a grown-up. I told her that in the US, you are officially a grown-up at age 18 and can do just about everything grown-ups do except drink alcohol. She said, "Why can't you drink alcohol? That doesn't make sense, if you're a grown-up."
    -----
    DS has been talking about wanting to go to grad school, although he keeps getting confused and calling it grade school. Unfortunately, he doesn't even want to do his preschool homework, so I think it's just wanting to be like DH rather than any particular dedication.
    -----
    We were playing 20 questions at dinner the other night, and DD said that Baby S. wanted to take a turn. I asked her if she was sure, because he might have a hard time answering our questions and remembering his object. She said she would help him.
    So she turned to him and said, "Is it an animal?"
    Baby S, who is so good at certain things, chanted "No no no no no!"
    She turned to me and said, "He says it's something you draw with."
    I leaned over and said, "Is it a pen?" (He had just shown a predilection for pens before dinner by chewing some nibs when he was supposed to be drawing.)
    DD and Baby S. both shouted "Yeah!" and high-fived me.
    -----
    I asked DH last night if he would be okay with showing each other a little affection in front of the children occasionally. I told him I wouldn't develop any expectations of anything more, but I thought it would be better for the kids if they realized that physical affection occurred between married people as well, and not just parents and their children. I thought it would be healthier for their adult relationships. He said that would be okay. I'm hoping for a little hand-holding, an occasional hug or kiss. I think it will probably be hard for him, because he feels so exhausted from the constant demands for attention that he can't even tolerate a cat on his lap after the kids go to bed, but I think it's important.


  16. #26986
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    Aw, L, that's definitely important for kids to see. I hope your DH tries for their sake (and yours!---it's nice to have a hug and cuddle at any time, isn't it?) My parents never showed any affection like that in front of us kids and I still have a hard time being affectionate towards people now as a grown up but I do try my best to be better at it. Just the other day, my SIL and FIL both told me 'Happy New Year' and gave me one of those European hug&kiss your cheek actions and I just hugged them back without doing a kiss (I don't think I'll ever get used to the air kiss thing people do towards your cheek while they hug you....lol). DH and I hug in front of the kids all the time, especially when he comes home from work. I always give him a hug, which is usually broken up by both boys tugging at his leg, wanting to be held and hugged instead!

    Chrissy, I'm sorry your nye night ended badly. That scenario reminded me of the only time I ever went out with my brother and his wife. They live in a dry county but the country clubs serve liquor, so we went there to dance/drink/play pool and my brother ended up saying to his wife's boss's husband, "If you're feeling froggy, JUMP!" and attacked him. LOL. I'll never forget that. We left pretty early after that and then when my brother got home, he was so drunk, he ran to the bathroom to throw up but didn't make it in time and spewed all over the bathroom door.

    Erin, I like your new year's toast....did ya have jam and butter on it? I love strawberry jam on my toast. I find myself saying jam instead of jelly like I used to because jelly here is used to refer what Americans call Jell-o....it gets complicated....lol

    Travis has been a little grump these past few days. We've not had a chance to get out of the house the past week since Cash was bad with diarrhea and then the weather has been gross, too, so I think he'll be better once school starts back up. And we have a play date tomorrow at one of those kiddie play places, so hopefully, he'll run off some of this negative energy he's had lately. It takes all the energy I have to be patient with him. I wish patience was easier to come by!

  17. #26987
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    Erin, that's really sweet about toasting in the New Year with toast!

    L, I agree that showing affection in front of the kids is healthy. I hope it works out and becomes natural and effortless for your dh to reach out and grab your hand.

    As far as Rich fighting that poor kid, I'm still irritated with Rich about that. He knows how I am when I go out drinking. I can't remember the specifics, but it's just as likely that I put my arm around that kid as it was him doing it to me. I get very social and think I'm bff's with everyone. Normally, Rich would laugh at me. I really think it's only because of our recent problems that he reacted so badly to it. Last New Years I remember dancing by myself and some younger guy came up to dance with me. He put his arm around me and the only issue Rich had was that his put his hand on my butt. Even then, though, Rich didn't do anything but complain to me about it later. I just laughed at him and said, "Oh, you know how drunk guys are." I would never go out without my brother and/or dh. Not because I think dh doesn't trust me, but just to make sure I don't accidentally get in over my head with some guy.

    Any-who, right or wrong that's how I am and it's not new.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #26988
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I wish patience was easier to come by!
    Me too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #26989
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    Erin, that "toast" is adorable. Love it!

    L, I agree that showing affection is important for the kids and for you. And if you can make that happen by asking DH to work on it, that's great.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    My kids have been having fun with Google translate this morning.

    Turn your volume on or up and click on the Audio button on the lower right side of the right-hand box. It's hilarious. You can do English-English and type in real phrases, or just let your kids type in nonsense (which has resulted in complete collapses of giggles, here).


  21. #26991
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    Speaking of showing affection with your spouse or s/o, have any of you had your little ones get between you when you're hugging or kissing? I remember my girls would sometimes do that, but it seems like Conner does it all the time. Not that we've been openly affectionate too much lately, but in the past we were quite often. Conner would do it laughingly.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #26992
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    Yes, Travis does that. If he sees us hugging or kissing, he'll say, "Me, me, me, I want love, toooooooo!" And he'll wedge himself between us. LOL.

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    I have a single mom friend that started dating this wonderful guy. Her son adores him, but then has moments where he acts like he doesn't want the bf around mom. I've told her that I think it's normal for little boys to act like that in those situations, even if it's dad that's doing the hugging.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #26994
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    OMG, L, that google thing is hilarious....I just got Travis to help tidy up by typing it on the laptop and he said, "that lady told me to tidy up!" LOL

  25. #26995

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    Ky will get between DH and I to this day when we are affectionate. Elle will not but Ky always does. DH blames it on the fact that I left him when Ky was a baby and he feels that Ky thinks I am his. I told him that some kids are just like that and Ky just loves me and wants me to himself. I remember he was relieved that Elle was going to be a girl because I always told him that he was my favorite boy (he still is my favorite boy) and he didn't want to have a brother because then he might be my favorite boy and not Ky.

    Erin

  26. #26996

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    Kai and I did that language translation thing for about 25 minutes. He was fascinated by the japanese and chinese letters.
    Erin, I believe that is just why Savana wanted Sawyer to be a boy. She likes being my only girl.
    Speaking of Savana, she went off to school this morning totally happy. She said she hates school a couple times but I can tell she doesn't mean it. She just doesn't want me to be right since I had told her she'd love school.

  27. #26997

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    Bridget, I was wondering this morning how Savana was doing at school. I'm glad she still likes it. I think a lot of kids say they don't like school even when they do. Josh says he doesn't, but doesn't have any reasons why.

    I completely forgot that my dad and stepmom were coming over today. We had just finished lunch and the doorbell rang. DH answered it and I heard my stepmom and went into panic mode. The house is not in order and DH was in the middle of painting the living room. Oh well. Now they've seen how we live when we're not expecting company. LOL

    Fortunately there is a good pizza place nearby DH went and picked up food from for them.

  28. #26998
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    I'm glad to hear Savana is doing well.

    DS has been reluctant to go to school for months now, but he's always pretty happy when I pick him up. I kept asking him if there was something in particular, but couldn't get an answer. He just said he wanted to stay home. Well, the other night he mentioned in passing that he didn't like it because another boy was punching him in the stomach every day. DD said she'd seen it a couple of times. They both said they'd talked to one of the teachers about it one time when it happened, so when I said I was going to talk to the teachers they said I should talk to her because she knew about it. DH and I both know that we can't necessarily believe everything they say, but we feel sad and protective about him. And it was incredibly sweet when DD put her arm around him and said that she would try to stay close to him and protect him from the other boy.


  29. #26999

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    How sad Lydia! Did you end up talking to the teacher?

    I tried google translate-Josh loved it too! It's perfect for his curiosity about the Chinese language.

  30. #27000

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    Ugh, Lydia, that would bother me. I actually remember sort of enjoying school but still would much rather have stayed home with my mom. I loved the weekends and dreaded monday. In fact, I do remember praying to god at night to make the night last really, really long so that I'd not have to go to school so soon. But while I was actually at school I'm pretty sure I enjoyed myself. Because of those feelings I think I can understand where Savana is coming from.

    Kate, all I can say is that I am glad my mil is not close enough to ever surprise me and see how we live when we don't have company! lol. Last night I was a little horrified myself when I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and saw my kitchen. The problem around here is that I cannot run my dishwasher and my washing machine at the same time so if I'm running laundry the dishes pile up and vice versa. When the washer is filling you cannot even get a drink of water. Is that a first world problem? That's what I tell dbf and Savana when they complain about it. We have clean water right?

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