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oh my goodness Myles. Short of someones death, I can't imagine a more awkward way to spend a holiday with family. Were you able to manage to have any fun out of that? I don't know what I'd do if I found out Rich were cheating on me, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't announce it to the world. I'd tell my mom, and she would.lol
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
L, sorry to hear about you and J getting sick on your trip. Do you think it was Montezuma's revenge? Anyway, I hope you feel better.
B & I got the terrible head cold while we were in Vegas. I took an 11-year old's dose of children's Benadryl last night and it knocked me out cold for ten hours. B was still opening his presents (he seriously got way too many to the point where we're worried it's too much) and was excitedly playing with a new electric train set when I passed out on the couch at 7:30 pm. DH had to force me to go to bed, not letting me changing the sheets because I could barely change into PJs and brush my teeth.
Chrissy, no I don't love my engagement ring. But I think I mentioned before that I love that DH did so much research in picking it out. The band is just so delicate and "girly" to me. I would wear it right now anyway, but it's kind of sharp and I'm afraid of scratching Bodhi with it. So I just keep it hidden away for now, maybe until all my kids are too heavy for me to lift.
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Hopelessly Devoted
Now i do recall you mentioned that. Maybe at some point you can get another one. I've tossed around the idea, and I absolutely love mine. I happen to have a thing for diamonds though and wouldn't mind yet another one.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Myles, I'll trade you your girly ring for mine! I don't love mine either...I think the setting is up too high, I still bang it all over the place even 7 years later. I would love a low set, girly little ring
The thing about the car commercial made me laugh-DH had this joke going that he was going to give me a key to a Lexus for Christmas...not a Lexus, just the keyThen he did end up giving me a key--to the treadmill!
I forgot he also got me a joke gift. We have this running joke about how I like puzzles and my husband would rather shoot himself than do a puzzle. So he gave me this little wooden box that appeared to be completely sealed shut and told me I had to figure out the trick to open it and get the present inside. After I played with it for a couple hours he said, "Don't you get it? It's a PUZZLE!"
Luckily I like my engagement ring since I believe I will be wearing it indefinitely
Myles, unbelievable drama! It's always interesting when the whiskey starts flowing.
So the little girl whose mother thought she had whooping cough just called me and said they went to the dr this morning and it is not. Phew. I am still hoping that Kai and Sawyer kick it soon.
I always laughed about those car commercials too. I'd be so pissed if dbf bought a car without telling me!! lol
We usually get eachother something but we do sort of kind of have our own money. I sold some curriculum books to buy dbf a home beer brewing kit and he sold some fishtank supplies to buy me an electric mixer (that hasn't arrived) and a new breakmaker.
Wow, it was so quiet in here and now everyone is back!
I am on day three of Primal eating. All I can say is I'm ****ing starving. For dinner last night DH mad coq au vin (which he's never made before). It was amazing, and I ate two whole chicken breasts (I've never eaten two chicken breasts in one meal in my life) and I was still starving all night. I've been staving off starvation with cocoa almonds and left-over deviled eggs from our Christmas Eve dinner. The eggs helped a lot, but I ate the last two last night.
At some point I'll do a work-out as well, but I'm still recovering from my fall, which concerns me slightly. I'm not in severe pain, but I'm still experiencing low-level pain in my knee (the same one I hurt earlier) and in my back around my rib cage. I can't imagine anything is broken because it doesn't hurt badly enough, but I'm concerned that it still hurts. The part in my back is horizontal across my back, where I hit on the stair step.
My DH is actually a fantastic gift-giver. He really enjoys spending money on me but this year was pretty low key as DH is not working. He did get me a set of headphones that were apparently quite expensive. I like them, but would never have bought them. My parents usually buy me a few things as well, and this year they bought me a pair of Dansko shoes that I picked out. They really wanted to buy us a new stove for Christmas and basically decided that was what they were going to do. Dad kept emailing DH with very expensive stoves he wanted to buy for us, but it just didn't make sense to DH and I because we really need to replace our cabinets and I just can't see the sense in buying a brand new, very high quality stove to put in a kitchen with 70 year old cabinets. I would rather wait until we do a kitchen remodel to buy a new fancy stove. So after a lot of discussion between DH and I, I asked my parents to take the money and put it towards helping us with a cycle of IUI (because IUI would be cheaper than the fancy stoves he was looking at). My mom agreed immediately to do the IUI. Then my parents both felt bad - Mom because we "weren't getting K anything" (as though the IUI is just for me!) and Dad because he really wanted to buy a stove (My dad is slightly obsessive/Asperger's and right now is really into cooking). Mom told me Dad said, "Can't we get them a stove AND IUI?" Ugh - I love my parents but ack! I had to explain to my mother all the reasons we wanted to wait for the stove. Apparently during Christmas my dad and K spent a long time talking about stoves and K said basically that my dad was determined to buy us one anyway. So I may soon have both IUI and a stove - but in the meantime I got a pair of headphones and a pair of shoes.
As for engagement rings, I adore mine. I had a friend who worked in a jewelery store when I was finishing my Bachelor's, and of course one day I met her at the mall and we looked at rings together. This was a couple of years before DH and I got engaged. Well, years later DH called up my friend and got her to take him engagement ring shopping. They couldn't find a ring exactly like the one I wanted (I liked a design that had a larger stone in the center with two smaller ones on the side). They picked out a solitaire with a very nice stone, then my friend wasn't satisfied so she went to another store after DH had bought the solitaire. M found the perfect setting that was just what I loved and called DH up. He ended up buying the setting from one store and having it set with the stone from the solitaire at the other store. It's gorgeous and I have always adored it. It's just the sort of thing DH usually does for me - just to my taste and a little more than I was expecting.
ETA: Those Lexus commercials are horrible. DH and I made fun of them constantly.
Last edited by Gwenn; 12-29-2011 at 11:03 AM.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Yeah I would be really annoyed if DH showed up with a car. Even if we talked about it and he knew what I wanted. Just the fact that we didn't go and pick it out together would upset me.
But he hates giving gifts anyway. Not the giving part but the thinking of something cool and picking it out and making sure that it's something the other person wants. Totally stresses him out. If he's stressed, I'm stressed.
I generally end up getting whatever I want anyway....some things I just have to wait around for him to agree to but he eventually does.
L, sounds like a nice trip but hopefully the illness is short lived!
Myles, yeah that is some drama! I have a small family on both sides so we don't have much drama. But uh yeah, if DH did something like that to me, I would probably be pretty nasty about it and could see telling his whole family. I would certainly tell his mom and I know she would take my side.
Chrissy, MIL is going to be 61 in March so she has to wait until probably March of 2013 and can do early retirement at 62. She will not get as much in benefits but living with us would be certainly much cheaper than on her own. The biggest issue really is healthcare....right now she is still on her husbands. He wants a divorce....asked in Oct 2010 but she has been putting it off because of insurance and the house. He wants the house but cannot afford to buy her out and put in his name only. And the house is underwater some right now. Cannot get medicare until 65. He's mostly moved in with his brother so it's nice to not deal with him daily but she is also lonely down in Chicago. All her friends and family are in Milwaukee....and her heart is with us. Probably best would be a part-time job for her a few days a week up here and the other days helping out DH with the baby once we have one.
Oh and we also need her dog to go....I really don't want to live with him and he's already 13 yrs old and has some health issues...but he's not quite ready to go down yet. I don't see him going much more than another year. Not a small dog...his breeds average life span is 12-14 years. If he was younger and healthy....I would of course take him along with her.
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
I feel really sorry for R, my cousin's wife. I really do. It's just the decision to create a huge emotional mess across my whole family on Xmas eve was pretty selfish and thoughtless. I don't think she imagined my 94 year old gramma crying herself to sleep that night, but even then. It took a really long time for me to realize how uncomfortable I could make people with my drama, and now I consider it a sign of maturity if a person can step back and think for one second how to share information about themselves that can scandalize other people. I mean, it would have been one thing if she'd contacted me individually and said, "I'd really like your support with this situation." But for me to just be on the receiving end of a hysterical text message... really doesn't make her look good here or win her as much sympathy as she maybe deserves.
The next day, we were sitting around doing the post-game analysis of the night before. And I noticed my cousin K (JB's sister) wasn't trying to hide anything from her kids - 7 and 14. So I asked her if they knew, and she said they "probably figured out by now what's going on." So I suggested she maybe say a few words to them to put it all in perspective. And my sister interrupted and said "I don't think you need to say anything unless they ask." I wanted to tell her off at that moment, but instead calmly explained to my cousin that if they're going to hear things, it'd be better if she presented the information to them with a little perspective rather than just have them overhearing stuff and coming to their own conclusions. I added, "It's called parenting." I don't expect someone like my sister to understand.
Last edited by demigraf; 12-29-2011 at 01:04 PM.
I don't wear my engagement or wedding ring anymore since I got my eternity ring. My wedding ring is too big for me any how since I lost 25 pounds after we got married. When I first moved over here, I was a junk food junkie and no one bothered telling me that I was gaining a lot of weight. It wasn't til I went home after our honeymoon that family in Arkansas were like, "woah, look at you; you like your cake, don't ya?" that I realized how much weight I had gained. So, DH bought me an eternity ring last year. I had dropped major hints (basically saying to him, "I need a new ring to wear!!!" and pointing at every shop window that we passed by and he got me the perfect one). It's got diamonds nearly all the way around and is dainty and feminine and I love it.
Mandy, that diet sounds really strict. I don't think I could do anything like that. I've started cutting back on my "treats." I'm down to just one treat a day which is my cup of coffee and chocolate cookie that I usually have around 11am. I'll eventually cut that out, too. Tonight I am going to try to do my aerobics dvd and see how that goes. I'd like us to eat more organic in 2012 as well, so we'll be using our local farmers' market more instead of the big grocery stores.
Travis went out with his grandparents today and came back with a train track that he bought with his Christmas money. I wondered if y'all have any advice on how to get him better at sharing with Cash? Cash is still at that babyish stage where he'll tear down the train track just after Travis has built it or wanting to hold a train while Travis wants all 5 to himself. Any advice on how to get Travis to stop snatching out of Cash's hands and shouting, "NOOOOO, CASH THIS IS MIIIIIIINE!!!!"? I've been telling him that I'm going to take the track and put it away if he doesn't stop being so selfish; what would y'all do??????
Ugh, Myles, what a mess that is! That's so sad about your gramma. You're right, it is a shame she didn't stop to think of how she would be affecting others by this news. I suppose she was past caring but that doesn't excuse it, just makes them both seem immature.
And no, I suppose your sister won't understand.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Oh, and Myles, sorry I skipped over your post about the family drama. That's really sad about how's it's all gone down. Your text to him was brilliant; it's a shame he didn't take your advice!
L, sorry y'all are sick! It sounds like you had a good time, though, and I'm glad of that. I know what you mean about needing a vacation from your vacation. We always say that when we get home from being away. Our next trip is our Gran Canaria Royal Caribean Cruise...should be interesting to see how the children adapt to being on the boat!
The diet is very strict. DH builds in "cheat days" every so often and on those days apparently I can eat what I like. The idea behind that is that if you follow a strict diet 80% of the time, you can do what you like the other 20%. I get that, but we'll see how I do jumping back and forth. It might make it harder to adjust each time, but at the same time knowing I only have to hold out until the next "cheat" time has helped my focus. You're supposed to not do any cheat days for the first 30 days but DH said I could have a cheat day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it!Originally Posted by AmeriBrit
I don't have great advice about sharing - just redirecting, patience, and continuing to explain. It's very hard.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
We are going through the EXACT same issues here with sharing and with Sawyer being the master of destruction and drool, neither of which makes the older two very happy. I encourage mine to do their building and delicate playing either up on the kitchen table or in their rooms. I also encourage making a trade with Sawyer, finding him something he likes instead of snatching. I also ask that they call for me if they need to get something away from Sawyer or get him away from what they are doing. It's a rule that it is never ever ok to yell at the baby or make the baby cry. Ever. I am constantly reminding them to speak to him softly and singsongy and show them how funny it is that you can make him forget about things to easily.
Did I mention the reminders are constant? I 'm not sure if that's helpful but that's what we do!!
What a lot of drama, Myles! Sorry your evening was spoiled.
I don't have an engagement ring. I guess that solves that problem, huh?
Senior Geek
Hopelessly Devoted
Kate, that puzzle box idea was hysterical! I would have loved to watch you try to figure that out!!
Myles, I don't know how I would have reacted in your shoes. I think you handled it beautifully and tactfully though. I admire you.
I have no words of wisdom for getting the older kids to be more patient/tolerant of the younger ones. Bobbie and Sydney are still like oil and water together and they always were. If anything, I think it's gotten worse.Maybe you guys will figure out the secret and not have to listen to the petty back and forth like I do.
Mandy, you're so lucky to have a guy that can just get the right gift like that. I do believe it's a talent and some have it and others do not. I don't think I'm good at choosing gifts, which is a big reason why I opted for cash and gift cards for my older girls this year.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Mandy, I'll bet your papa & K would have a great time cooking in the kitchen together. Maybe on your new stove. Who knows? If it's a freestanding one, it could always be your motivation to remodel. But I do understand why you'd want to hold off on a remodel if you're going to be investing in IUI and other procedures.
LOL Chrissy, DH even had Josh trying to figure it out. Even when we broke it to him that it couldn't be opened, Josh was like "Hold on, I think I know how to do it..."
They actually made Christmas dinner together and had a ball doing it. But you're right, I don't want to spend $ because I want to have it available for the RE.
LOL ... that is so cute!
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
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Hopelessly Devoted
What a sweetheart!!
Conner was great for me today...till this evening. He started being sarcastic, demanding, obstinate and throwing things around. We made him go to bed for a few minutes. For some reason I thought of you KateI was definitely starting to feel powerless and overwhelmed. I'm still not sure what triggered it, but setting him on the bed for 15-20 minutes cured whatever ailed him. He's been fine since.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Yes, sometimes I send Josh up to his room. He either completely loses it and keeps opening the door while screaming, or forgets why he's there and starts playing.
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
Hopelessly Devoted
We do very similar things here. It is very normal and reasonable to want to build a train track and not have it destroyed immediately. I would be upset, too. I encourage my older ones to play with things like puzzles, trains, magna-tiles, etc. during baby nap time or in their room with the door closed. Things that would be damaged by Baby Godzilla on a rampage are not to be done around the baby. They are now to the point where they will suggest things to do during nap time, or that they might want to go do something in their room. I also encourage trading toys, and if the baby has something they want, finding a toy to offer him instead that might make him want to trade. Grabbing something away from him is not allowed. Like Bridget's house, they have to get help from a grown-up if trading doesn't work.
I don't really force sharing or talk about being selfish with the baby. I talk about strategies for dealing with it and rules and a little bit about how the baby doesn't know much about what he's doing, but I don't put much pressure on them to be less selfish, because they are putting up with a ton already. The baby is on them and in their faces and pulling their hair and taking away not only their toys but a lot else besides that. They're pretty good. However, I do not like it when a certain older DS of mine has 20 cars and refuses to allow younger DS to even play with one, so then I try to talk to DS about how his brother has no cars at all and would be happy with just one, and this way he will learn how to play cars with him. I emphasize that the more practice he gets with their toys, the sooner he'll be able to play with them. Happily, just recently, I have noticed that our baby is getting so that he is actually playing WITH the twins sometimes, and not just with pretend role-playing games where he gets to be the baby. Tonight the two boys were playing with airplanes side-by-side in the living room, and driving cars off the back of the couch together and then running around to see where they landed. It's pretty cool to see. Someday, he'll help them build their train tracks and not just destroy them.
And yes, like Bridget said, the reminders are constant.
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Mylah, your holiday sounds amazingly craptastic. How awful. When I told you I hoped you found some adult activities, I meant FUN ones!!!! Sheesh!
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!#&%&*#(!
WOW. I don't know what happened, but I just lost my entire post. Then I wandered around APA for a while, trying to find it. I read the FAQs, looked at my settings and my profile, then came back here, everything was still blank. Then after all that, I saw a little button down below that said "Restore Saved Message?" and I clicked it and everything came back and now I'm going to post and get out of Dodge before I lose everything again. Whew.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
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Hopelessly Devoted
Nice save! Glad that feature is an option.
It sounds like you have a great plan for helping the older ones be more tolerant of your baby.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I confess I'm dying here. I'm doing some very last minute continuing ed so I can renew my license. I'm reading an article about prosody (rhythm/intonation of speech) and it is seriously the most boring thing I've ever read.Somebody help me!
Although I am chanting Erin's "scientific method" in my head as I read about the design of the study.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Thanks for the advice on sharing, everyone. That is pretty much what we do already as well. Like with Travis and his Leggo. He's only allowed to play with that when Cash is napping. The thing with the train track is that Cash really just wants to push his train along it, too. I feel bad for him that he just wants to play along and there's Travis shouting that he doesn't want him playing with him. The cousins have started saying that, too, so there's poor little Cash left on his own.
Mandy, did you finish reading that study? It's so hard to keep reading that kind of thing if it's not something you're interested in or written in a dull style.
I haven't slept much the past 2 nights and am starting to feel it. Last night the kids had a decent night but my tendonitis in my wrist flared up, so every time I tried to turn, I woke up from the pain.
Thanks for the advice on sharing, everyone. That is pretty much what we do already as well. Like with Travis and his Leggo. He's only allowed to play with that when Cash is napping. The thing with the train track is that Cash really just wants to push his train along it, too. I feel bad for him that he just wants to play along and there's Travis shouting that he doesn't want him playing with him. The cousins have started saying that, too, so there's poor little Cash left on his own.
Mandy, did you finish reading that study? It's so hard to keep reading that kind of thing if it's not something you're interested in or written in a dull style.
I haven't slept much the past 2 nights and am starting to feel it. Last night the kids had a decent night but my tendonitis in my wrist flared up, so every time I tried to turn, I woke up from the pain.
I just finished it. It was brutal. I now know that autistic children can distinguish between HOT dog and hot DOG as well as non-autistic children, but when asked to say the word they use the correct stress but take longer to say it and sound different (acoustically and perceptually) than the non-autistic control group. My life is enriched by knowing that.
Several more to read yet, but the rest should be way more interesting. The next is about how parent response to the child's interest influences word learning in autistic children in a natural play context. Much more my thing.
Last edited by Gwenn; 12-30-2011 at 01:51 AM.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Um Mandy, that doesn't sound that much better! LOL I'm always glad that I get the fun part of finding articles...but not reading them!
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
Ouch, Mandy. I'm glad you made it thru the article. Do you ever take notes even if you don't have to? Just to re-state to yourself what you've just read? I find that if I'm plodding through something incredibly dry, it lengthens my attention span if I'm actively engaged in expressing the content in my own words. Probably what I should be doing right now, actually.
L, I like the story of R playing cars (ETA: not planes) with S off the back of the couch.
Last edited by demigraf; 12-30-2011 at 12:52 PM. Reason: cars, not planes
My DH has watched Dinosaur Train...he said it's two really things in one show. LOL
Oh I have heard good things about Just Dance...I know my friend got her daughter a Wii for xmas they were enjoying that too.
Chrissy....Lego has a new Dinosaur line.....
Jennifer, 34, DH 36
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Hopelessly Devoted
I bought Just Dance when I got our Wii last year. I tried holding off on gaming consoles as well, but I figured at least with the Wii, you're active. it's been a lot of fun.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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