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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26821

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    Hugs Christina

    Chrissy, I'd be even less worried about 3 teenagers at the mall than 2 teenagers and a 5 year old!


    Bridget I would take Kai back in to the doctor, and just tell them you suspect one of your day care kids has been ill with something more than the common cold and you would just like to get him checked out. I hope it's nothing!

    Josh told me today when he grows up he wants to marry me. When I told him you can't marry your mom he started asking about all the other females in our family like my mom and DH's mom and sister. He was quite confused when I said you can't marry anyone who's already in your family.

  2. #26822
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    Christina, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. It's hard, but you really have done all you can to help him, and he knows you're there IF he is willing to get his act straight.

    FIL did not have his procedure. Long story, but basically, he is "acting fine", so MIL and FIL are refusing treatment for now. MIL even insinuated that DH and his sister is taking a perfectly healthy man and turning him into a very sick one, so they're backing off for now. They have a little time (like 3 months) to convince them that he really does need the procedure. MIL especially can be infuriating, because she can be very stubborn, and no amount of talking to her will change her mind (there is no logic/science/reasoning that helps). It's terribly frustrating.

    Anyway, we'll be back in a few days. As always, will be happy and sad about that. The kidlet will especially miss having so many adoring fans.

  3. #26823

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    Kate that is so cute about Josh. Kai and Savana always say they are going to marry eachother. I just say ok lol. I don't feel like having that discussion. They asked me a few weeks ago why my last name is different and I told them because daddy and I are not married and Kai with his dramatics has been saying every now and then since then, "Ohhhh, why oh why do I have to have my family with different last names? Ohhhhh, when are you and daddy going to get married?" He is really dramatic and moany and groany about things and it's hilarious. Yesterday I asked one of my daycare parents if she got anything good for Christmas and she said she hasn't gotten anything for years and that once your married you don't get gifts anymore and Savana said, "Oh mom. Good thing you didn't marry dad or you would not have gotten your bread maker." lol we had a good laugh about that.

    So with the pertussis, I was reading last night that it's not always the barky cough. I don't know. Maybe I am jumping the gun on this one. It just really threw me for a loop when she mentioned it so casually and then when I said, "Isn't that dangerous for babies?" she just said yes and kind of shrugged her shoulders like no big deal. I really like her normally. I'm going to try some natural remedies for the next couple of days and see if there is any improvement.

  4. #26824
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    lol I think that's cute! I when little kids say they want to marry their parents. It means they're doing something right and he/she can't imagine life without them. It's an adorable, innocent age.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #26825

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    Maybe I shouldn't have broken his heart by telling him you can't marry your mom. LOL He seemed to take it alright though.

    That's bullcrap that you don't get good presents once you're married! Some men just think that they shouldn't have to win over their wife with presents if they're already married but that's not true. You should never stop wooing your wife

  6. #26826
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Maybe I shouldn't have broken his heart by telling him you can't marry your mom. LOL He seemed to take it alright though.

    That's bullcrap that you don't get good presents once you're married! Some men just think that they shouldn't have to win over their wife with presents if they're already married but that's not true. You should never stop wooing your wife
    That is SOOO true

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  7. #26827
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    Suja, I hope your fil will do what he needs to do to get healthy.

    That's utter BS about not getting good gifts after you get married!! I wouldn't stand for it! lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #26828
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    Oh, and we went shopping after Bobbie got her license (yay! ) and I bought an outfit for New Years Eve. I was going to keep it to myself until that night, but Katy asked for a link to it. There's none on the store's web site, so I took my own pic. This is what I'm going out in:



    It's a sleeveless silky dress and leopard print jacket & matching shoes.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #26829

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    That looks like a firecracker outfit! Cant wait to see photos of you in it!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  10. #26830

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    That is a sweet little outfit. Very funky. Love it and can't wait to see it on you!

  11. #26831
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    Ok, I couldn't wait to try the whole thing on together as I'd only tried them on one at a time in the store. Sneaky Rich snapped a pic of me coming out of the bathroom. Here it is:



    Don't pick on me about my nasty uncarpeted floor. I'm so ashamed of my house it isn't funny. Springtime can't get here fast enough for me (that's when we're doing the whole remodel thing).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #26832

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    Very cute Chrissy!

    I confess for the first time in my entire life, I ran on a treadmill today. I have never tried it because I hated running with a passion when I was in school. I was self concious about the way I run because of my physical issues so I never tried at the gym either. Now that we have a treadmill at home I just slap on my pajamas and go. It's wonderful, no wondering if Josh will be in the mood to go to the gym, no battling him to go home when I'm done, not having to be in the mood to drive out there, etc. I just ran for a few short spurts and it went well.

  13. #26833
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    That's wonderful Kate! I'm glad you enjoyed it

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #26834

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    You are one hot mama, Chrissy! Love it!

    Good for you, Kate! I have always been self-conscious of exercising in public because I am fair-skinned and get so red in the face and apoplectic looking that people think I am about to die - it is embarrassing. But I finally just decided that exercising was important enough and fun enough to try not to let it bother me. Every once in a while I remember what I look like when I catch someone looking at me. I hope you keep up with it!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  15. #26835
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    I do the same thing when I work out. I get beat red in the face. I hate it but when I chose to exercise, I don't let that stop me. I have a million other reasons to not work out I guess. lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #26836

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    Oh yeah I get so red in the face too!
    I hope I stick with it too...I've lost track of how many people have asked me if I'm pregnant over the last year or so

  17. #26837
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    That's so incredibly rude of them Kate. I can't imagine It would bug me too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #26838
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    Hubba Hubba, Chrissy!

    I'm so proud of my little girl. Yesterday, she was playing in the soil at the temple behind my SIL's house when she told me that she had to poop, and then held it until I rushed her all the way back to the house and put her on the potty. She did something similar today. Potty training is going well, and when she has accidents, it is usually because some adult wasn't paying attention to her when she said she had to go.

  19. #26839

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    Good for you Kate for getting on the treadmill! DH broke my treadmill a couple years ago and I think I'll get another one in a couple months since I cancelled my gym membership when I had bronchitis because I wasn't going and didn't want to waste the money. I am looking forward to starting to run again.

    I got over being embarrassed though a LONG time ago while exercising or really doing anything. I figure everyone gets embarrassed sometimes and I really don't have any shame anymore. DH thinks I'm a nut. I'm a horrible sweater when I exercise, like I am just sweating buckets and it is really abnormal, people have mentioned to me that my sweat is really excessive, even people at the gym I don't know. Both my mom and grandma sweated horribly as well and unfortunately Elle does too so I hope she will get over the embarrassment before she is 20 but I doubt it. I get totally soaking wet all over after exercising and it continues for a couple hours even after taking a luke warm shower. But I like getting on the treadmill even though I sweat like a man and my boobs flop too much if I have on a bad bra and look like they're going to knock me in the eye!

    And Chrissy you look GREAT in the dress. Also, I didn't notice the floor until you mentioned it and it really isn't extraordinary to me since I lived for a few years as a kid in a house with no carpet or standard hardwood flooring or tiles. Just base boards like that. I remember when we got carpet my mom was so excited that she came and got us from school early so that we could all walk on it barefoot LOL! She hated those wood floors with a passion but didn't have the money to cover them for a long time.

    Suja, I hope your FIL turns out to be okay. It is always difficult when people refuse treatment, especially if it is something that is easily treated. I hope that MIL and FIL will change their minds about the procedure soon.

    And Bridget I also have heard a pertussis cough and it is very noticeable. I don't know if it was the later stages or not though, it was a cousin of mine who had it but it was horrible and scary sounding. I would go and get the kids checked out though and mention that the daycare parent mentioned pertussis, especially with Sawyer being so young. I would be frightened and want to get tested for that. Pertussis is on the rise and I remember being really concerned when Elle was an infant about it and Hib since there was a Hib shortage at that time so Elle was behind on a shot due to that for a while. Honestly though I think you all may just be dealing with what I had, bronchitis. I would get checked out because if it lingers it can turn into pneumonia, which is what happened to me. I caught it from a co-worker and it didn't go away for over 6 weeks and I had a persistent cough along with horrible asthma wheezing and coughing to where I could not sleep at all. I would want to get the kids checked for both pertussis and bronchitis. Is it a wet cough? Usually bronchitis has some wetness to it. Mine was dry for the first couple weeks then developed into a wetter cough with phlegm. My mom told me that she has been coughing for 2 weeks as well. It seems like lingering coughs are going around a lot this year.

    Anyway, just checking in. I have been having issues still getting onto this site. I think I just need a new computer actually but I was typing something here last night and my screen just froze so I just gave up and went to bed. We had a good Christmas. For some reason my friend decided to give Ky a baby turtle for Christmas without asking me because he "knew I would say no." I'm like, if you knew I would say no, why would you get it?? I was kind of peeved about it since now I feel I will have to either let Ky handle it and that would more than likely mean a death sentence for the poor turtle or I will have to step in and help take care of the turtle. I already had to go and spend around $30 for a new habitat and rocks and food and such for this gift. It irks me when people do things like this but if I get rid of the turtle Ky will be heartbroken so I am really trying to decide if I want to just let him have the responsiblity for it and not get involved. I think I will ask DH to help out now that I think about it since he is just as excited about the turtle as Ky is. He is such a little boy! He even told on me to my friend about how I made him let a snake go free that he (DH) found in the yard. He is always bringing home snakes and toads and frogs like a little child. It is cute. Since I went and got the turtle food I guess that both of them can keep a turtle alive.

    Erin

  20. #26840
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    Hey, y'all. I wanted to check in too since I'm on the laptop right now as Travis is out with my in-laws and Cash is happily playing. DH went back to work today. Boo for that. (I miss him!)

    Chrissy, I love that outfit, especially the shoes! You look sizzlin'!

    Suja, sounds like your DD is really getting the potty training; that's brilliant! I was so relieved when it finally clicked with Travis. He is even night-trained now, so we only have to buy Cash diapers (I nearly wrote "nappies" then as that is the Britishism for "diapers.")

    I'm starting my new year's workout regime tonight. I have an aerobics dvd that I'll be trying to do every night or every other night at least. I need to tone my jelly belly before we go on our cruise in April. I think I have defective sweat glands; I hardly sweat at all even when exercising but I turn neon pink from not sweating.

    I'm a little miffed at my DH but am getting over it slowly. He is a horrible gift buyer. Always has been. I finally blew up at him this Christmas as all he got me was a pair of pj's and they weren't even a color I like. He knows that I love to open presents and I told him not to spend much but I was expecting something more than just one pair of pj's to open on Xmas day. I know it's really petty and I've let it go, but he really lacks a romance bone in his body and it's the one thing I'd love for him to try to improve on, but I figure that's just what he's always going to be like, so I'll just have to deal with it!

  21. #26841

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    Aw, Ash. I totally understand why you'd be disappointed in PJ's. I think it's been a really long time since I got a present I truly loved. That's why I usually ask DH to build something for me to my specs on birthdays & Xmas, because if he picks something for me on his his own, it's never to my taste. I actually don't want him to pick extravagant gifts for me anymore, because the times he does, like with my engagement ring or my surfboard, I'm always disappointed in his taste and feel a) he spent too much money for it to be something I don't love, and b) I have to put a thrilled expression on my face to match the look of expectation on his that I'll think he's the greatest husband in the world. This year, I asked him to build me wrap-around shelves with dividers (so it kind of looks like wrap around cubby holes about a foot from the ceiling) for the sewing room. They'd be done by now, but for some reason the "pickled oak" stain we've had so much success with in the past isn't working with the type of wood he's using.

    Erin, I would be LIVID about the baby turtle. How would she like it if you gave her a live animal to care for day after day? Not much of a present, is it?

    Bridget, I would probably take Sawyer in to be checked out, just to be on the safe side. I know there's a terrible cough going around her and we took Bodhi in yesterday to his doctor and were told it was just a bad head cold. He's ended up in the ER with pneumonia in the past, though, so we're fairly vigilant when it comes to bad coughs.

    Kate, that is so cool you got a treadmill! I would love to have one even for just walking. One thing I've wanted to do for awhile is improve my walk speed. I think somewhere near 4mph, it starts to feel easier to run than walk, and that's where I want to be able to hang in and just keep walking rather than start jogging. Some people can speed walk 5mph and I'm so impressed with them. It takes a different set of muscles to walk than to run, and it's a great low-impact activity.

    Chrissy, *wolf-whistle*... you have a great silhouette. What an awesome outfit.

    Christina, I am so sorry about your brother and his crap-tastic ex-gf. It's so much easier to say let him destroy himself than it is to step aside and watch him do it. Sometimes that's all you can do in the cases of addiction & drug abuse. .I hate that your mom has to get put through the ringer watching him go through this. I can't imagine what I'd do if Bodhi started doing hard drugs like that. No one wants to see their kid self-destruct.

    Suja, yikes, I hope your FIL does agree to his treatment, and without much of a fight. Your MIL sounds really frustrating to me. I hate trying to reason with people who refuse to use reason. Seems almost pointless. I had a very frustrating talk with my dad just yesterday about some pills he was told to take by one doctor. I told him to talk to his liver doctor about any side-effects the medication might have about his liver, and he kept saying his other doctor told him it was ok for his liver. And my point was that he should get a second opinion, and at one point, he said "what will I do if my liver doctor tells me not to take the pills?" I told him "Make an informed decision. Isn't it better to know than to feel like there's more you could have known?" And he pretty much admitted he just didn't want to deal with any more information because it would just inconvenience him to have to change course on something he already started. His laziness and lack of priorities scare me sometimes. Especially when it comes to his health.

  22. #26842

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    I have short little legs so I can't go much over 3.0 before I have to jog. I was going 4.0 yesterday at a pretty quick jog.

    Erin, pets are a terrible gift and are probably a big reason why so many animals are abandoned, or worse. I wouldn't dare assume anyone wanted a pet for a gift even if I knew they were a huge animal person!

  23. #26843
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Hi! I'm back from a tiring trip to Mexico! We got in last night at 1 am because our flight was delayed, and dh got a stomach bug the last night we were there and spent all night in the bathroom with chills and fever and we had the last morning in Mexico spent trying to get prescriptions and keep the kids away from the hotel room. I just picked up one thing that he'd thrown up on and I was sick for about 4 hours, too. I have a feeling dh is going to be in bed all day today.

    But the hotel was lovely. The kids loved the kiddie pool. It was really nice to have lounge chairs up against the side of the pool and have us all taking turns going in the water with the children and ordering food and drinks right there. The children loved the pool and splashed around for hours. We had a dolphin encounter tour, and our whole family got to go in the water and pet a dolphin (S. did not approve, and I had to take him out), dh and I went on an ATV tour in the jungle. There was a turtle hatching while we were there, so everyone got to release a baby turtle on the beach at sunset to go out to the ocean. Meals at our hotel (not where dh got sick) were very tasty, but the dinners with 9 people (because my mom, my MIL, and my sister and bil were there) were long and pretty intolerable for the kids. They usually ended in S. not approving very loudly about an hour into it, despite all entertaining I could do, and either falling asleep in my arms or yelling loudly enough that I had to take him back to our room before everyone was done.

    Now I need a vacation from my vacation.

    I hope you all had a good Christmas.

    2/3 of my kids are awake now, and the noise level in here has increased dramatically, so I better do the rest of my catching up later. I missed you!


  24. #26844
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    Uggg pets are the worst gift! Ok so I did bring home a puppy for xmas four years ago BUT I was told by my parents to go get him and bring him down and they paid me back for him. So the only one surprised was my sister.

    I need to get back to exercise too. I just don't like sweating and really just am not a fan of it. I do not run...the last time I tried jogging for just a tiny bit I got a hairline fracture in my foot. And I don't even really like walking all that much unless it's to something (like on vacation or the mall or something). I do have an elliptical in the basement and I don't mind doing that. Just haven't since getting the puppy. The basement is insulated but not drywalled and I think that she would be still not bright enough and too much a puppy and might try to eat the insulation. I try to avoid kenneling her at night since she's in there at night sleeping and for a nice chunk of the day when DH is sleeping. So we really try to have her out a few hours in the morning and from the time I get home until I go to bed. Well she is already much easier than she was when we got her almost 7 weeks ago. Probably just another month or two should make a big difference.

    On gifts....my DH basically doesn't give me any. Once in a while flowers but that might be one time a year if that. I picked out and found my own engagement ring...for which I'm glad because I LOVE it just as much now as I did 11 years ago. Clothes I'm hard to fit and after the first year he stopped trying. There was this one sweater he got...and I don't remember exactly but he got like a large or something and I was like a 3x at that time.
    Last year we didn't do gifts because we had just gotten the house and were spending a ton of money on that. This year he said I got a puppy....and she hasn't been cheap. I said fine, all I wanted anyway was some new dog toys. I LOVE getting the girls new toys. Plus a few months ago we put in the first big payment to the adoption agency (about 1/3 of the total cost).
    I have been buying him a bunch of legos but he already knows about them all before they arrive....I just order them because otherwise he would probably think about it too much and change his mind. He is bad about buying fun stuff for himself.
    I do think that there is something there with once married, the gifts aren't the same or stop. It just doesn't make sense really, especially when set up like we are with EVERYTHING being joint. If I really want something, clothes, something for the house, something fun for myself....I just buy it. And we talk about everything before we buy it anyway...especially things that cost a bit more than say $20.

    Been talking with his mom more and it sounds highly likely that once she can retire early, she will probably be moving in with us. She's thinking that by the time the stairs are are too much for her, our kid might be a teen and want the downstairs. We have a ranch house so really the basement steps are the only ones in the house.

    Now I'm kind of thinking that I would really love to get a minivan. DH is NOT going to want to give up his Pt Cruiser...he LOVES that car. I would do mine but we have a lifetime warranty on it for about everything other than things like tires and wipers. Grrrr. Not really sure how we are going to fit a carseat and both dogs in our cars we have now though....especially when you add stuff like a suitcase. I would like something that we could put his mom in, us, the baby, the dogs, and extra stuff for travel. Maybe in a year or two he would change his mind about his cruiser.....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #26845
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    Erin-I'd freak about the baby turtle too! omg-what nerve!! As for our carpet, I had Rich & my brother rip all of it out before we moved in because there was so much mold/mildew on the walls. I didn't want to risk it. We could have put cheap stuff down, but I opted to be frugal and wait till we start the real remodeling in the spring. At that point we're gutting the bathroom and then by summer hopefully the kitchen. Anyway, it's just the hall and 3 bedrooms but it does bother me. Ah well. At least I don't have to worry about mold spores living in the carpeting.

    Ash, I'm so sorry about the pjs. Surely there must be a way to help your dh out at Christmas. My Rich wasn't always that great of a gift giver either (he'd buy things like a blender. ugh) but he has gotten better. It really helps him out because every year I now expect a $100 gift card to the mall. If I didn't get that, I'd almost never buy clothes for myself because of mommy-guilt. I hate shopping, so doing it once a year suits me just fine. I was very vocal this year about a pair of knee high brown boots that I coveted and I showed them to Jesi when we were out one day. I even said, "If Daddy asks you what Mommy wants for Christmas..." and I shook the boots Sure enough, I got them. The sweater he bought me is really nice and I was surprised that he picked it out himself...and that I like it. I really don't like other people buying clothes for me, but this was a good one. I can't say I was disappointed by anything he got me this year, but it's a first.

    I think you should give him a list of maybe 5 things that you like and tell him to buy at least 2 of them and then let him try to pick something on his own. It may take time, but eventually he'll learn your taste and maybe start getting you stuff you truly love.

    Myles, you didn't love your engagement ring? Did you ever tell him? Did you keep it and if so, do you wear it all the time? I recently had a conversation with another friend about this. She knows her bf is going to propose in the next year and I asked her if she was worried he'd get an ugly ring. She's not concerned at all. With me, I went with Rich and picked out my ring. Both times (he'd sold my first one after we broke up, so I made him buy me a bigger one to replace it ). My father was clever and took his current wife out shopping and she picked out 4 that she really liked. He went back without her and got one.

    L, I'm sorry your dh got sick and the dinners were a bit of a struggle, but it sounds like other than that you had a great time. i hope you don't catch what your dh has It's impossible to be a full time mom and be sick. There's really nothing worse and if it were up to me, no mom would ever get sick.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #26846
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    Oh, and Suja, wtg to your baby girl for doing so well going potty!! I think she should have a chat with my Conner!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #26847

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    Gorgeous, Chrissy!

    2/09 6/09 4/14 9/14

  28. #26848
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    lol...it looks like we're all back. Jennifer! It sounds like you and your dh did 'buy' for each other, just not exactly on Christmas day. My dad used to do that. I wanted a new stereo one year and he got it for me in late Nov, early Dec. He just couldn't wait all the way till the 25th to give us the really big gifts. Plus his mom really went nuts over Christmas. Looking back and knowing how many children, spouses, and grandkids she bought for I suspect that she worked full time just for Christmas. It was nuts!

    How soon do you think your mil will be able to retire?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #26849
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    Thanks for the compliments ladies. I swear I feel like a 'people of walmart' character and then when I see a photo of myself like that I don't even recognize myself. I can't wait to go out New Years Eve. It's been since Oct since I went out and I haven't been in the mood to dance since. I think that was a depressive symptom and I'm glad that's fading. I've been horrible about remembering to take my Wellbutrin since I've been on vacation and I'm worried I'm gonna start feeling bad again.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #26850

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    I totally get what you're saying about gifts that can be bought not making much sense when they come out of the same pool of income, Jennifer. Those commercials where the spouse surprises the other spouse with a new car always make me snort because... aren't they both going to be making payments on it? And didn't the down payment come from some sort of shared pool of money? Even with our finances as separated as ours are, I'd never think to buy a car for my DH without talking to him first. Even if it's from my earnings that I saved up, we would still have to make the decision together on how to use that money. Maybe somewhere out there in some alternate universe, spouses just sit on a huge pile of cash that the other spouse can't touch (and the other spouse doesn't mind about), it being so big that to dip into the pile barely makes a dent, and that's where the money for the car with a big red bow comes from. Ack.

    So I've been wanting to gossip to you girls about our Xmas drama this year, but could never find the time. But now I'm back as of yesterday. I was pretty excited that it'd be more fun than usual since the cousins I grew up with came out from LA to Vegas too, so it wasn't just DH, B & I with a bunch of retirees this year. My sister and her DH were there too (sorry I didn't answer your question about that sooner, Bridget), and we were cordial but distant all week.

    Anyway, on Xmas eve, which is when we've always had the big party, I find my female cousin K in the room crying on the phone. She tells me, "thank goodness you're here. I can't take this anymore." Turns out she's on the phone with the wife of my cousin JB, who is also her brother. The reason JB was out in Vegas with us while his wife & kid were back in LA because his wife's dad was visiting from Uganda. Well, JB's wife, R, had discovered just that day that JB had been cheating on her with some woman from his new job and had decided to text EVERYONE in her phone directory, including JB's father that "JB has been cheating on me with a woman named G. He has ruined our marriage and doesn't care one bit about our son." She'd found out by finding a receipt for $90 to a spa that said "Merry Christmas sweetheart" on it, and then checked his phone logs and found a lot of calls to this one number. She called the number and got G's voicemail and told her she was JB's wife and she wrecked their home. So R was crying on the phone to my cousin K how devastated she was and how much she hates him and wanted to humiliate him.

    By the time K got off the phone with R, the party had turned into a weird scene. All the cousins from LA were out front smoking with my sister and drinking whisky and JB's dad is out there too, yelling at him. Turns out the huge house JB's dad bought for them a couple years ago has the dad's name on the title but JB & R's names are on it too. JB's dad is yelling at him, disowning him, calling him an uncaring father. By the end of the party, JB's dad (who's my mom's brother) had basically told everyone in my mom's generation what was going on, even my poor Gramma.

    JB comes and talks to me and gives me basically the same shpiel he gave everyone else at the party, about how he's so sorry the "truth had to come out this way. I was planning to tell her. We'd already talked about a 2 month separation and in my mind we were already on a break. I haven't been in love with her for a long time. She was always trying to make me into something I wasn't."

    You know. Cheater's logic.

    And then he started fuming that R his wife had called his new girlfriend G, talking about how afraid he was that G was going to dump him now too. He said "You know how girls are so emotional." I said, "Oh because the decision to lie and cheat on your wife for a girl you've known 2 months was a perfectly rational one?" But he was drunk and not making sense, and it made me sad to see how much more concerned he was about his new relationship than he was about his wife or son. Very pathetic and disturbing at the same time. The hilarious part is that my sister is out there, giving JB who knows what advice (ETA: drunken advice), while her husband is inside the house still unaware of the affair she may still be carrying on.

    So I'm just standing by to hear the fallout. JB texted me the next morning to apologize for R dropping this bomb on the whole family on Xmas eve. I texted him back (secretively, phone hidden in the folds of my scarf while in church) something like: "Don't apologize for R's decision to drag the whole family into your business. You can still be the best person you can be from this point onwards. Don't tell a single other lie. It takes a lot of courage to be honest. I wish you strength as you try to make things right. My two cents are: Don't spend too much time thinking about the things you feel R did wrong. You won't find any growth there. Focus instead on what you could have done differently. And most importantly, anytime you start to worry about yourself, worry more for Kn (his son). Anytime you feel sorry for yourself, feel more sorry for Kn. Remember a happy parent makes a happy child. And the same can be said about a troubled parent. But you'll always have my support and compassion while you go through this long and painful process."

    Didn't do much good. JB stupidly went home and talked to R, admitting his affair to her. Then in the next room, told a bald-faced lie to R's mom that G was "just a friend". Man, he's so lost. Well, that's the drama of the week, anyway.
    Last edited by demigraf; 12-29-2011 at 11:06 AM.

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