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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26461
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Isn't that always the way...as soon as someone else comes along there's no evidence to be found. I was just discussing that phenomenon with someone the other day. I bet you run into that...people trouble call you and you go check it out and it's working fine.

    Yup! for me it would be looking for a book on the shelf and just NOT seeing it. I ask someone else if they see it because well things get misshelved sometimes. And bam it's right where I was looking. Doh!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #26462
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    I love Christmas

    We never had any traditions or anything and it is importnat to me that we do that different with Nolan. My dad never really participated much and was always such a humbug. When I got old enough me and mom decorated everything while my dad was complaining (from you know sitting on his butt all day) that he was too tired to hang decorations Despite the fact my mom had back problems and really didn't need to be on a ladder. Than DH came along and he took/takes care of all that for us With just a wee bit of coaxing

    I got to say though that I have noticed a huge improvement in my dad since Nolan has been born. It's little things that really stick out to me. Going Trick or Treating with us and even walking Nolan up to houses to get candy. That is someting he never in a million years would've done with my brother or I. I never even remember him going with us, not one time. Better late than never right??

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  3. #26463
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    I so know what you mean, Christina! We accomplished a first on our last trip home to Arkansas-we actually got my dad to go inside a McDonalds to play with the boys. He'd never take us there when we were young and had never been inside one. Funny the things they'll do for grandkids.

  4. #26464
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    Oh, and Erin, your childhood Christmases sound amazing. I wish I had had Christmases like that! Christmas wasn't that big a deal in our house. We were more excited about Thanksgiving. Lol.

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    It just amazes how much different he is with N than he was with us growing up. Becoming a Grampy has turned his brain to mush

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #26466

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    My dad too. I ask my dad all these questions like "were I and <my sis> like this when we were B's age?" and he'll tell us flat out... "I don't know. I didn't pay much attention to you when you were that little."

    Gee thanks, Dad! :/

    Just sharing because I think these are funny. Bodhi got into my undies not too long ago...


    (thumbnail links 'cause the pics are huge)

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    OMG, Myles, those pictures are priceless! What a cuddly little boy...and nice undies! LOL.

  8. #26468

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    Thanks, Ash! Perhaps I should clarify that they'd just been laundered?

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    Awww I can't see the pic at work, Boo!!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  10. #26470

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    My mother claims I had no behavioral issues at all, which would have been nice since I had so many physical issues, but I doubt it's true.
    For instance I clearly remember being a royal pain when it came to transitioning (hmm, sound familiar?). I recall, not just through stories but my own memories, that I would have all out fits when it was time to leave the beach. Home was just so boring compared to the beach.

    Great pictures, Myles!

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    I have no memories (that don't come from stories that I've been told) from before I was in middle school... I always thought it was a ittle strange I had no childhood memories

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #26472

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    Sorry to change the subject, but Chrissy & Kate, I know your boys are super-into dinosaurs. Can you recommend a good starter dino-pedia for a 3 year old? I'd like to get B something illustrated (with informative pictures) and well-organized so he gets introduced to the idea of the timelines. There are lots on Amazon and the ones from Nat Geo seem good. I don't want anything too advanced for him, though.

    I'm really excited to get a comprehensive dino book myself. Doesn't it seem like there are so many more dinosaurs than we knew about as kids?

  13. #26473

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I have no memories (that don't come from stories that I've been told) from before I was in middle school... I always thought it was a ittle strange I had no childhood memories
    Not meaning to be mean, but that is strange. My DH is the same. I honestly think he just has a ton of bad memories that he is not acknowledging. I have a freakish memory and can remember my brother pushing me down some stairs when I was about 2. My first memory is of him smacking me in the face with a wire hanger. My mom, when I told her I remembered this, said it was impossible because that happened when I was 8 months old. I always thought of it as my awakening to life, like I was a hunky dory baby then WHACK!!! and WTF, who is this guy smacking me in the face???

    It stung really badly. I remember the pain and trying to catch my breath while crying. My mom thinks I am lying. I didn't tell her about this until I was around 23 or 24 years old when we were talking of childhood memories.

    Myles those pics are soooo cute!!! Little B is such a handsome guy, even covered in undies LOL!

    Erin

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I'm really excited to get a comprehensive dino book myself. Doesn't it seem like there are so many more dinosaurs than we knew about as kids?
    Yeah! I think I knew about 5 as a kid and now there are like 100 million different types! And, no, I do not exaggerate much!

  15. #26475
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    My first memory is when I was 4 and going to my grandma's house and everyone was crying because my 2 year old cousin had died. I had no clue what was going on but just remember being in the room with everyone and lots of people wailing and sobbing and I was scared and hovered near my mom, brother and sister.

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    OMG, DH and I are watching "Life's Too Short" on the BBC and it's sooo funny. It's got the little person from Willow and it's supposed to be a reality show about his life. In this episode, he's trying to find the right religion to join and at the end he says, "I'm going to stay Church of England because you can smoke, drink and fornicate and all you gotta do is say you believe in God and you get in to heaven." Hehehehehe!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Not meaning to be mean, but that is strange. My DH is the same. I honestly think he just has a ton of bad memories that he is not acknowledging. I have a freakish memory and can remember my brother pushing me down some stairs when I was about 2. My first memory is of him smacking me in the face with a wire hanger. My mom, when I told her I remembered this, said it was impossible because that happened when I was 8 months old. I always thought of it as my awakening to life, like I was a hunky dory baby then WHACK!!! and WTF, who is this guy smacking me in the face???

    It stung really badly. I remember the pain and trying to catch my breath while crying. My mom thinks I am lying. I didn't tell her about this until I was around 23 or 24 years old when we were talking of childhood memories.

    Myles those pics are soooo cute!!! Little B is such a handsome guy, even covered in undies LOL!

    Erin
    Not mean at all. DH thinks its strange as well.

    It is highly possible I am repressing things, considering my childhood. I'm OK with it I guess, I don't miss them

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  18. #26478

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    To be honest I was just thinking I don't have a lot of childhood memories either. I can't remember a lot about Christmases, but I think they were pretty happy. I can't remember how involved my parents were with me (besides having to take care of me a lot) or whether they had parenting differences or fought a lot. Maybe they just hid those things well. But I often wish I had more memories. Maybe I'm blocking a lot of bad stuff too.


    Myles, Josh actually got over his dinosaur phase pretty fast. Now he likes to build stuff, play power rangers and Transformers and do science kits, mainly. Sorry I can't help

    Right after I typed that he came to me with some power rangers he made out of legos. LOL

  19. #26479

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    Hi all! Reading everything and catching up. I've been really busy lately and don't even know why! Plus apa runs so slow for me when I try to reply as if I don't already feel like I'm wasting time sitting on the computer I can't justify just staring at a frozen screen! I can't possibly comment on everything but I have to say to Chrissy that I just love the story about you smoothing down that boy's hair. I so hope that my children grow up and have friends with moms like you.

    One thing that has been weighing really heavily on me is that I traveled with my dad and brother this weekend. (Dbf had to stay home, couldn't fit in the van. Seriously. lol.) But my brother acted like my kids were so annoying and hardly even interacted with them at all. Him and I are so close and get along so well that I was really thrown off by his attitued. I thought they did great on the five hour drive but overheard my brother saying to someone who said Sawyer gave them baby fever to ride in a car for 5 hours with my kids to cure that. That comment alone could have been funny if he hadn't acted so aloof and annoyed all weekend. It really, really hurt me.
    Last edited by Bridget; 12-13-2011 at 05:01 PM.

  20. #26480

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    I'm sorry Bridget Are you going to ask him about it?

  21. #26481
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    Oh, Bridget, I would be really hurt by that!

    Myles, cute Bodhi pics! Love the smile.

    My first memory is when I was about 3.5 and I remember just sitting up in bed one morning, thinking "here I am" and not remembering the day before. I remember that I didn't remember if that makes sense. Erin, it's funny because I've always thought of that as my memory "kicking in." Nothing else particularly special about that memory.

    When I took a class in memory disorders we talked about early memories, and apparently somewhere in the 2-4 range is pretty normal for a first memory. My professor stated very strongly that the brain just can't remember things earlier than that because it just isn't wired for long-term memory earlier, but very rarely people can remember something very traumatic (I think your wire hanger story fits the bill there, Erin). My mother swears up and down that she remembers seeing sunlight on her face when she was less than a year old and she refuses to believe my professor. I asked my prof about it and she said (not in so many words) that my mom is crazy and she must have been older than she thinks she was. I have no idea which of them I believe there. My mother always made me feel like I have a really bad memory because I don't remember things very early in my life but I suspect I'm pretty normal. I remember my childhood, but lots of it is kind of hazy and I forget the details. Mom also says she remembers seeing a bug walking across her infant sister's face just days after she came home from the hospital, and her sister is less than two years younger.

    I had very lovely Christmases in my household. My mother worked hard to make the holidays special and my dad, when he wanted, could really be a lot of fun. I suspect I have different memories of my dad than my older sister and brother do. My mother said Dad was a lot more involved with me being the third baby than with the others. He changed my diapers, and fed me, and was present when I was born - he wasn't with the older two. It just wasn't what people did then and he wasn't all that interested. They were 60's babies and I was a 70's baby and a lot changed in our culture between 68 and 73. So I have closer memories of my dad and I know my sister is a little jealous of that. Dad will confide his frustrations in me and he really doesn't do that with anyone other than my mother very often.

    Funny, I was about to go off into a mini-rant about some of my annoying Dad memories at Christmas but after writing that, I'm not in the mood anymore! My dad isn't the easiest person to deal with, but I do love him.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 12-13-2011 at 06:30 PM.
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  22. #26482
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Sorry to change the subject, but Chrissy & Kate, I know your boys are super-into dinosaurs. Can you recommend a good starter dino-pedia for a 3 year old? I'd like to get B something illustrated (with informative pictures) and well-organized so he gets introduced to the idea of the timelines. There are lots on Amazon and the ones from Nat Geo seem good. I don't want anything too advanced for him, though.

    I'm really excited to get a comprehensive dino book myself. Doesn't it seem like there are so many more dinosaurs than we knew about as kids?
    I really don't know what to recommend. We have so much stuff. All of it has been useful, but Conner understands it far better than I do. He knows the dinosaurs technical names on site, whereas I have to read them. I know he has a book somewhere that opens up and shows the different periods (Cretaceous? Jurassic?) along with the common dinosaurs during those periods, but I couldn't find it. I didn't have a lot of time to look, and it could be at my mom's.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    One thing that has been weighing really heavily on me is that I traveled with my dad and brother this weekend. (Dbf had to stay home, couldn't fit in the van. Seriously. lol.) But my brother acted like my kids were so annoying and hardly even interacted with them at all. Him and I are so close and get along so well that I was really thrown off by his attitued. I thought they did great on the five hour drive but overheard my brother saying to someone who said Sawyer gave them baby fever to ride in a car for 5 hours with my kids to cure that. That comment alone could have been funny if he hadn't acted so aloof and annoyed all weekend. It really, really hurt me.
    That would hurt me too Bridget.

    My memory goes back to 2 easy, if not just before I turned two. I swear I remember Mom on the phone, crying to her mother that Elvis died. That was in August and I turned 2 in October. I also remember climbing into the back seat of a green Javelin with a white pin stripe down the side. I specifically remember the rocker panel against my thighs and climbing UP into the car. My parents traded that car in that same summer before I turned two. It had beige, vinyl interior and burned my skin.

    My father was all into holiday and birthdays. He also took my brother and I trick or treating by himself most years. Now that I think about it and understand the desire for companionship, it makes me feel very bad for him. He didn't act sad though. He was as excited as us to get candy. Of course when we got home we'd dump our collection out on the floor and he'd sort through and take the 'yucky' ones for us. Probably the best ones actually

    Sometimes he'd get too excited to wait for Christmas and we'd get our gifts early. He also taught himself to cook the family dinners. One year that involved an experiment in microwaving a turkey for Thanksgiving That was when microwaves first became a household appliance.

    He really did try very hard to give us as normal a childhood as possible. He went sleigh riding with us, took us snowmobiling, and would play baseball or frisbee in the backyard for hours. He was the best.

    My brother doesn't have many memories of our childhood though.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    OMG ... In an effort to be less dysfunctional, I just went and took a shower (so I wouldn't have to choose between showering late at night and staying up past midnight waiting for my hair to dry, and showering in the morning and going to work with wet hair). I got out of the shower and realized I had no idea whether I had washed my hair or not. So, I asked DH to see if my hair smelled like shampoo! I have a feeling it may be years before I live this one down...

    I so should have been an absent-minded professor.
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  24. #26484
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    Dh came home walking on air because some hot-shot came to his work today with a really promising cancer treatment, and one of the things that was contributing to his success was an invention my dh made in grad school. During his lecture, he put up a slide with my dh's name on it, and everyone at his work swiveled to look at him. Nobody had known about it before, and even my dh didn't know what people were using it for nowadays. Unfortunately, because he invented it in grad school, the school got the patent and the money. But at least he can feel some satisfaction in knowing that he's contributing to curing cancer. He was very happy.

    I have gotten out of the shower without remembering if I washed my hair, applied conditioner, or soaped. It's not that unusual. There was someone who posted about memory problems in Random not too long ago and cited that as an example. People chimed in and said they did it too. However, you have hair long enough to smell yourself, so you could have gotten away with not asking dh.

    I have tons of dinosaur books, Mylah. DS is particularly fond of them. We have very simple and very complex books. I don't know which ones I would recommend. We probably have at least 20. I know DS's favorite is Children's Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs, and has been since he was about 2 years old. I don't think we have anything that very clearly spells out which periods were which in the dinosaurs as far as timelines go, except for a few coloring books, and those don't really have timelines, just different pages with dinosaurs for different periods. Our Evolution book has better descriptions of timelines. We have Meet the Dinosaurs, which is not all-inclusive, but a fun book and has about 10 dinosaurs to get to know. It gives a trait or two for each one (fast, crested, loud, etc.) and shows a picture, and asks which one is your favorite. That is why DS likes to wear a faux-hawk in his hair sometimes- so he can look like a crested dinosaur. I like DK Readers.

    My Dad used to take me and my sister out for our birthdays once a year and ask us how old we were. It is surprising to me how interested he is in my children. And even more surprising to me how much my sister believes he is coming out to visit us. She is so disappointed when he leaves without saying goodbye to her, or when he keeps wanting to spend time with my children and doesn't coordinate any time with her. She keeps thinking that he has had this sudden change of heart that magically coincided with the birth of my children that has made him come out to visit so much. Every time I suggest (gently) that he doesn't really prioritize seeing anyone else when he visits, she is aghast.

    She also has a very different picture of our childhood. Although my Christmases are much more pleasant in my memory, I also remember the extreme poverty, of not being able to afford everything, of the miserable month when our food stamps were stolen and mom was so worried about not being able to feed us. My sister, only 20 months younger, doesn't remember being poor so much. She flat-out says I was wrong. I didn't want to go to prom because my mom said she would have to sew me a dress. I didn't have a store-bought dress until jr. high school. I paid for my own college, and my parents paid for my sister's college and law school and continued to pay for her car insurance even up until she was married at 35.

    It's interesting, though. My parents were recently talking about that month of no food in front of us, and Dad said how he never felt poor. Mom was shocked. She said they were so poor they ate nothing but dried beans for an entire month the time their food stamps were stolen. Dad agreed, said he knew they were poor, just that he never felt poor. This is when our favorite toys were a square of used velvet we'd crumple up to make a castle (because it would align itself into various different wrinkles every time it fell, and therefore a ton of different rooms), and a few pieces of tinfoil that we'd shape to make little swans to rule the castle as swan princes and princesses. We did that all day. I was about 6 and my sister was 4. We had those, and our identical rag dolls, the Ozmas.

    My first memory was about age 2 - running through the woods on Vancouver Island to meet a friend. Since we moved so frequently, I can pinpoint a rough 6-month period for my memories if I can identify where they took place.


  25. #26485
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    As far as dinosaur books go, I had a big thick one I used with my kids at school. It was organized by time period and each page had a timeline showing where the animal fit. It also had some ice age mammals like the saber tooth cats, and pre-dinosaur creatures like the coelacanth (who still exists today - my kids loved to hear that). Also creatures I'd never heard of before, like a mammal called the brontotherium. It was a little too mature and encyclopedic for a toddler/preschooler, though. If you like I'll find the name but it's packed up somewhere with my therapy materials.
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  26. #26486
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Dh came home walking on air because some hot-shot came to his work today with a really promising cancer treatment, and one of the things that was contributing to his success was an invention my dh made in grad school. During his lecture, he put up a slide with my dh's name on it, and everyone at his work swiveled to look at him. Nobody had known about it before, and even my dh didn't know what people were using it for nowadays. Unfortunately, because he invented it in grad school, the school got the patent and the money. But at least he can feel some satisfaction in knowing that he's contributing to curing cancer. He was very happy.
    I'm sorry, L, I meant to respond to this. Congrats to your DH. That is amazing. It really is a lesson that we never know how what we do will make an impact. Shame the school has the patent, though!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #26487
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Dh came home walking on air because some hot-shot came to his work today with a really promising cancer treatment, and one of the things that was contributing to his success was an invention my dh made in grad school. During his lecture, he put up a slide with my dh's name on it, and everyone at his work swiveled to look at him. Nobody had known about it before, and even my dh didn't know what people were using it for nowadays. Unfortunately, because he invented it in grad school, the school got the patent and the money. But at least he can feel some satisfaction in knowing that he's contributing to curing cancer. He was very happy.
    As well he should be! That's really phenomenal!

    Jeeze L, I thought we were poor growing up, but you 'won' that contest (as if!). We had real toys. Not many, but enough. My favorites were my dolls. I ended up getting 3 throughout my childhood, from birth till I was 11 or 12. Their names were Cindy, Bobbi Jo, and Jessie. Jessie was an atomically correct newborn baby boy. I'm always somewhat curious about how my real life dolls ended up with similar names, although not in correct birth order.

    My other favorite toys were the Fisher Price Little People. I had a schoolhouse, tree house, school bus, 1 car, a houseboat, and probably 50 little people. My fantasy was always having a normal family I guess.

    Memories are all perception really. It sounds like maybe your sister takes after your dad.

    There's this awesome dinosaur 'game' online (I think you have to download it) that Conner just loves. You can walk around and see different dinosaurs in different contexts (desert, quick sand, forest). I'll try to find it and share. I'm sure Bodhi would love it. It's narrated and the guy explains various details about the dinosaurs that you're looking at.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Here it is: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/prehistoric_...inosaur_world/ Dinosaur World. It's a great simulation for young kids.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    L congrats to your DH!!! That is so cool....it is nice to get credit and know something you did might have made a big difference.
    Wow...did you have a different childhood. In some ways when you talk about it, it reminds me at times of this book http://www.amazon.com/The-Glass-Cast...=AG56TWVU5XWC2

    Myself, I think my first real memory is when I was 4 yrs 9 months old. that was when my sister was born. My parents have a bunch of videos and pictures of when I was younger than that and I have heard stories so before my sister was born, I don't think that those are really real memories.
    I had a pretty ideal childhood...though I did think at one point I had to join a gang because dad was laid off again and I thought that poor people all joined gangs and I was crying because I didn't want to join a gang. But we always had food and toys (sometimes those were from grandma)...had a house and always had nice clothes (not designer but always looked nice).
    Christmas was always pretty traditional...stockings, tree, presents, Santa, usually snow, homemade cookies, music.

    Bridget, sorry that your brother hurt your feelings. Maybe you could talk to him about it since you are so close. I'm sure that he adores the kids....but really it's HARD to be in a car for five hours with multiple people.

    Last night we went to the first puppy class...only humans there though. Well there was a demo dog to show us what to be working on preparing for the class next week when the pups will all be there. We did not do classes of any kind with Cosmo and managed to train her pretty well. But even with that experience, I am already learning some techniques that I think will work really well and hopefully make the process faster and easier. I think that we will probably do a couple of classes after this one in obedience.
    Kate, if you do end up getting a dog, I highly recommend going to classes. I know that this school will also give discounts if you have a shelter dog.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #26490

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    L, that is really awesome! Congrats to DH!

    I'm sorry so many of you had less than satisfying Christmases, but I must say you've grown up to be awesome people in spite of it, or maybe because of it, depending how you look at it.

    Josh says he remembers that he wore blue clothes when he was born. He says "even without seeing the pictures I know that"

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