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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26281
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Anyway, when I arrived, the owner of the store said hello, asked me what I needed, walked me to each thing. Asked me what I was making, gave me better ideas, told me I had the wrong glue, asked me how my kids are doing (they're usually with me) you get the idea. So glad I didn't go to Walmart. I'll spend the extra.
    That's awesome!!

    I think you have a good plan about having the kids wait till later to make any comments or ask questions. Are you going to warn them about possibly seeing Jesus on the cross?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #26282
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    Most of you have probably already seen this on my facebook, but Sydney's friend and classmate commit suicide today. He was only 12. Twelve! My heart is broken and I'm totally at a loss as to how to even talk to her about this.

    I have had tears stream down my face a little, but I still can't do the all out crying yet. It's not about me, but it's just one more sign that my emotions are totally out of whack because this sort of thing normally would have me bawling uncontrollably.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #26283

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    I did see that. How terrible.

  4. #26284

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I am so nervous about this weekend! I don't think my kids have ever seen the image of Jesus on the cross. If they ask questions I am going to have to let them know we will discuss it later. Yowsers.
    DH and my current strategy is to treat any encounter with Christian rituals and customs like an class in Theology, basically explaining it the same way you would explain people believing in Hinduism or Buddhism, etc, with kind of a detached fascination, if that makes any sense.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  5. #26285

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    DH just spent 10 minutes trying to start an argument with me over whether or not the chorus of Elton John's "Rocket Man" is grammatically correct. The line in question is "I'm a rocket man/a rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone."
    Last edited by Aelith; 12-07-2011 at 07:23 PM.

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  6. #26286

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Most of you have probably already seen this on my facebook, but Sydney's friend and classmate commit suicide today. He was only 12. Twelve! My heart is broken and I'm totally at a loss as to how to even talk to her about this.

    I have had tears stream down my face a little, but I still can't do the all out crying yet. It's not about me, but it's just one more sign that my emotions are totally out of whack because this sort of thing normally would have me bawling uncontrollably.
    I'm so sorry. How's she doing?

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  7. #26287
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aelith View Post
    I'm so sorry. How's she doing?
    She was crying on and off. First she said she didn't want to go to school tomorrow, but she talked with friends and they're all wearing blue in support of the boy so she wants to participate in that. I'm trying to find out if the school will have grief counselors available for the students and I'll encourage her to visit one if they do.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #26288

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    Oh no. That is just tragic and horrifying...I, well, I don't know what else to say.

  9. #26289
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    There really isn't anything anyone can say. I know it's happening more and more. I wish 'something' could be done, but I'm really at a loss as to what that 'something' could be.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #26290

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    There really isn't anything anyone can say. I know it's happening more and more. I wish 'something' could be done, but I'm really at a loss as to what that 'something' could be.
    So much has to change with society. It seems to big to even tackle, especially with all of the ignorance around us. One can only hope that people will evolve to a new level of consciousness and put an end to all the hate.
    What is his story like? Was he bullied? Did anyone see it coming?

  11. #26291
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    So much has to change with society. It seems to big to even tackle, especially with all of the ignorance around us. One can only hope that people will evolve to a new level of consciousness and put an end to all the hate.
    What is his story like? Was he bullied? Did anyone see it coming?
    It does seem to be an overwhelming problem. Like I posted on FB, there have been 4 or 5 child/teen suicides since August or September of this year...and our county is only 55,000 or so.

    He was definitely bullied, but beyond that I don't know his story at all. I do know he was friends with Syd on FB. A lot of kids are posting on his wall and it's just heartwrenching.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #26292

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    What really sort of makes me angry is the outpouring of support when someone commits suicide. If people would just show they cared while the kid's still alive, it may have never happened. I'm on twitter a lot and I see names on the "trending topics" list, meaning what is being talked about the most. A lot of times if you see a name and you click on it you'll see it's someone who has committed suicide. It just makes me think, I wish that person could see that support now.

    Sorry if that sounds insensitive but that's how I feel.

    I think what we can do is raise our kids to be the type of person who interferes with bullies, stops it from happening, reports it, supports the bullied, etc.

  13. #26293
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    I know what you mean Kate. But I think part of the problem is that kids, and society in general, doesn't really understand what bullying is. They think it's the 1 mean kid that's hitting someone on the playground. It's not that at all. It's social isolation. It's having 1 kid call you 'gay' and having 1/2 the class snicker about it. It's prevalent and I believe nearly all kids partake in it because that's just the way kids are.

    I'm always talking to Jesi because she's a clown and likes to tease people. I worry she might take it too far or not be able to tell whether she's really wounding another peer or not. She says stuff in good fun and thinks the people she's having a little debate with are too...but being someone that was uber sensitive I worry. So we talk about it. And she reassures me that her friends know she's kidding.

    Anyway, I know I do talk a lot with my kids. And I know Jesi is an empathetic, loving, accepting soul who would never hurt anyone else on purpose. I don't know, however, how many other parents actually have these discussions with their teens to help keep them aware.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #26294

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Erin, how far are you from where the 7 year old was sexually assaulted and murdered?

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/06/justic...ntent=My+Yahoo
    That happened in the burbs around 15 miles from us. It is just horrible. We talked about it with Ky at dinner today and stressed not speaking to adults he didn't know, not going anywhere with him, how some adults are evil sickos and want to do horrible things to children like this. DH mentioned to him that the girl was killed but not that she was raped. It is just such a horrible story. Even though this area has a lot of crime, things like this just don't happen hardly ever and everyone I know is shocked about it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I am so nervous about this weekend! I don't think my kids have ever seen the image of Jesus on the cross. If they ask questions I am going to have to let them know we will discuss it later. Yowsers.

    Okay, I am really big into supporting local business and I will not go to Walmart. Well, I did go to for Savana's school supply list because I only had $30 to spend and one night to do it. But I usually avoid it if at all possible. And dbf will NOT just back off about this. Today after my daycare kids went home I asked him to stay with the boys so I could go to the craft store. Here's our convo:
    Him: What do you need?
    Me: Things for crafts (captain obvious)
    Him: Like what?
    I know where this is going. I read him my list.
    Him: Walmart has all those things at half the price
    Me: I support local business. I despise Walmart. Do we have to have these conversations so often? And half the price? Do you really believe that?
    Him: Only the rich can support local business, hon. Go to Walmart
    Me: Hmmm. Didn't ask. But thanks ever so much for your viewpoint.

    Gah! Does he really believe that only rich can afford to shop local? I mean, I was buying clay and felt, not leather coats and jewels.
    Anyway, when I arrived, the owner of the store said hello, asked me what I needed, walked me to each thing. Asked me what I was making, gave me better ideas, told me I had the wrong glue, asked me how my kids are doing (they're usually with me) you get the idea. So glad I didn't go to Walmart. I'll spend the extra.
    Eyeroll to your DBF!! My DH says stupid stuff like that. I have learned to be short with him while sounding pleasant. Him: Walmart has those things at half the price. Me: That's nice, I didn't know that. I'll be back in an hour!

    Then I go where I want to go LOL!

    I do go to Walmart sometimes though. My main gripe with them is that it takes too long to get through the checkout so I rarely go due to this. I don't like to spend more than 20 minutes on a shopping trip.

    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    DH and my current strategy is to treat any encounter with Christian rituals and customs like an class in Theology, basically explaining it the same way you would explain people believing in Hinduism or Buddhism, etc, with kind of a detached fascination, if that makes any sense.
    I agree with this. I would just tell them that there will be a picture of crucified Jesus. That this is a religious symbol of Catholics to show the suffering that Jesus endured. I would even try to find a picture in a religious book for reference so when they got there they wouldn't either 1 - be frightened of it or 2 - say "EWWWWW" and point and cause a scene.

    Chrissy that is just horrible about the young boy!!! Is your community going to focus on this issue since it is becoming so prevalent? That is a lot of suicides of young people period, especially for such a small community. I would think the government and media and community organizers would want to get together to show their support for the youth and let those who may be isolated and sad or thinking of suicide know that there are people who love and care about them.

    There have been too many crimes happening lately. It is bothering me. A mother of 2 of the kids who attend our school was attacked and assaulted the other day in a neighborhood 2 miles away from me. She was walking to the grocery store, one that I go to all the time. The school is going to raise some money to help her get a new cell phone, which was stolen and just to help her out since she will have to take off work. I know her and her kids. She just got evicted from a house next door to my aunt and I am just really disheartened to hear this has happened to her.

    Erin

  15. #26295
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    wow, Erin that is scary! Very nice of the school to try and help out though.

    I read later in the afternoon that a maintenance guy actually killed that little girl. He had a key to the vacant apartment and the compacter where she was found. I don't know how those things are usually set up, how many maintenance guys care for a complex, or even how large that complex is...but it's possible that little girl may have at least been acquainted with him.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #26296
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    To my knowledge, my kid's school isn't really handling this well at all, and this is the 2nd student they've lost to suicide this year. Graduating class sizes are typically around 350-400 or so kids, so we're talking pretty small school here.

    I've read up a lot on this (even before today's suicide) and I personally believe that at least for the immediate future our best bet is to encourage kids to stick up for the ones being teased. I've been talking about it a lot tonight. They also need to know where they can go for help, of course, but the ones that usually need it the most aren't likely to seek that help.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #26297

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    Took my cat to the vet on Monday. They recommended an animal oprhalmolivist, which I wasn't aware existed until that moment. Took her in today and it turns out that my car is completely blind! He says her blood pressure is through the roof which caused both retinas to detach, causing edema and hemorrhage. Basically like the headliner of a car coming down. I am getting meds to reduce her blood pressure and something else that is like a diuretic for her eyes but the doctor thinks it is unlikely that she will ever see again. I am sure she will adjust but it makes me feel sad and guilty that I let it go for a few weeks thinking she was just getting old. Faster treatment might have increased the chances her eyesight could be saved.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #26298

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    Took my cat to the vet on Monday. They recommended an animal opthalmologist, which I wasn't aware existed until that moment. Took her in today and it turns out that my cat is completely blind! He says her blood pressure is through the roof which caused both retinas to detach, causing edema and hemorrhage. Basically like the headliner of a car coming down. I am getting meds to reduce her blood pressure and something else that is like a diuretic for her eyes but the doctor thinks it is unlikely that she will ever see again. I am sure she will adjust but it makes me feel sad and guilty that I let it go for a few weeks thinking she was just getting old. Faster treatment might have increased the chances her eyesight could be saved.
    Last edited by girlwonder; 12-07-2011 at 09:45 PM.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  19. #26299
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    Oh, Katy, how awful! I'm so sorry for your kitty. I'm sure you're right and she will adjust, but it must be so scary for her not understanding what happened.

    Chrissy, my heart goes out to you and Sydney. I haven't commented tonight because it's just so sad.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #26300

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aelith View Post
    DH just spent 10 minutes trying to start an argument with me over whether or not the chorus of Elton John's "Rocket Man" is grammatically correct. The line in question is "I'm a rocket man/a rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone."


    Maybe with punctuation it would be correct?

    I'm a rocket man, a rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone.

    I don't know.

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Most of you have probably already seen this on my facebook, but Sydney's friend and classmate commit suicide today. He was only 12. Twelve! My heart is broken and I'm totally at a loss as to how to even talk to her about this.

    I have had tears stream down my face a little, but I still can't do the all out crying yet. It's not about me, but it's just one more sign that my emotions are totally out of whack because this sort of thing normally would have me bawling uncontrollably.

    That's absolutely horrifying Chrissy. I can't imagine how devastated his parents feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    There have been too many crimes happening lately. It is bothering me. A mother of 2 of the kids who attend our school was attacked and assaulted the other day in a neighborhood 2 miles away from me. She was walking to the grocery store, one that I go to all the time. The school is going to raise some money to help her get a new cell phone, which was stolen and just to help her out since she will have to take off work. I know her and her kids. She just got evicted from a house next door to my aunt and I am just really disheartened to hear this has happened to her.

    Erin
    I'm glad some organization is helping her... it has to be so hard to have kids depending on you and have that happen (both the attack and the eviction).


    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    Took my cat to the vet on Monday. They recommended an animal opthalmologist, which I wasn't aware existed until that moment. Took her in today and it turns out that my car is completely blind! He says her blood pressure is through the roof which caused both retinas to detach, causing edema and hemorrhage. Basically like the headliner of a car coming down. I am getting meds to reduce her blood pressure and something else that is like a diuretic for her eyes but the doctor thinks it is unlikely that she will ever see again. I am sure she will adjust but it makes me feel sad and guilty that I let it go for a few weeks thinking she was just getting old. Faster treatment might have increased the chances her eyesight could be saved.


    There's no way you could know what was happening. I'm glad you found a vet who could figure out the problem too... do they know why the high blood pressure would have come on so quickly?



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  21. #26301

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    No, figuring that out is going to be another boatload of money in January. It could be heart, kidney or thyroid. I just don't know how far I want to go. The dr today was talking about going to San Antonio to see a feline cardiologist for an ultrasound!!! I love my cat but I just don't see doing that- maybe I sound mean but she is getting old and will die someday sooner than I would like, but I can't see spending many thousands of dollars just to find out what is going to kill her. I just want her to be comfortable and happy.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  22. #26302

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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    No, figuring that out is going to be another boatload of money in January. It could be heart, kidney or thyroid. I just don't know how far I want to go. The dr today was talking about going to San Antonio to see a feline cardiologist for an ultrasound!!! I love my cat but I just don't see doing that- maybe I sound mean but she is getting old and will die someday sooner than I would like, but I can't see spending many thousands of dollars just to find out what is going to kill her. I just want her to be comfortable and happy.
    It doesn't sound mean, especially since it sounds like whatever is causing it could be causing her some serious pain too, and she has no way of telling you how she feels. to you.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  23. #26303
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aelith View Post
    DH just spent 10 minutes trying to start an argument with me over whether or not the chorus of Elton John's "Rocket Man" is grammatically correct. The line in question is "I'm a rocket man/a rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone."
    It's the POV shift, either I'm/my fuse or he's/his fuse. But it kind of works - maybe because I've heard it a million times!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #26304

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    That's the one thing that is good- there's no pain for her according to the doctor. No nerve endings inside your eyeball. I was very happy to hear that

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  25. #26305
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    That's the one thing that is good- there's no pain for her according to the doctor. No nerve endings inside your eyeball. I was very happy to hear that
    I'm glad for her sake.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #26306

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    Chrissy- I am so sad to hear about that poor child. His family must be undone with grief, the thought of which makes me heartsick

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  27. #26307
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    No, figuring that out is going to be another boatload of money in January. It could be heart, kidney or thyroid. I just don't know how far I want to go. The dr today was talking about going to San Antonio to see a feline cardiologist for an ultrasound!!! I love my cat but I just don't see doing that- maybe I sound mean but she is getting old and will die someday sooner than I would like, but I can't see spending many thousands of dollars just to find out what is going to kill her. I just want her to be comfortable and happy.
    You don't sound mean at all. I totally get it.

    My own cat is getting very old and sickly looking all of a sudden. I was just watching her sleep last night and wondering to myself when or how soon I might have to take her in. She doesn't appear to be in any pain, but she's skin and bones. And the other day she had a bit of blood coming from her behind. She's 15 human years old though and I know I won't be paying for any treatments for her. I love her very deeply and I won't let her suffer, but that's the hard part with pets...you have to know when to say when. If she were a young cat, it would be different.

    I think Sydney is doing ok. She did go to school and all her peers are dressed in blue in support of Dalton. She posted on FB a little bit ago that it was very quiet there today.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #26308

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    I never thought about the lyrics to Rocket Man like that. Now I'm stumped...
    I'm sorry about your kitty Katy! I understand just wanting her to be happy and comfortable.

  29. #26309

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    Chrissy, I hope they at least have grief counselors on site?

    I remember in 6th or 7th grade one of our classmates died in an accident and they had a whole grade assembly to tell us about it and answer questions.

  30. #26310
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    Syd's school announced it over the PA at the end of the school day and passed out hastily typed pages for the students to bring home to the parents (essentially saying a child had passed away and who, but no details). Historically, they have gotten counselors together and I know the county mental health clinic has sent their crisis worker over for stuff like this, but they simply make an announcement in the morning that any student that feels like they need it they can go to the guidance office to utilize them. imo, it's kinda cold and distant. I wish they'd call an assembly and talk to them directly like your school did.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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