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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26041
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    I think only my parents know my true beliefs. On facebook, I have agnostic as my religious beliefs. I think most people just assume I'm christian like they are though. I don't talk religion much with people. My in-laws know our beliefs, too, since we've not had the kids christened and that's the done thing here even if people are not religious, they do the whole church thing to christen their kids which is all a big farce to me. Speaking of books, I'd like to read Dawkins' book called The God Delusion.

  2. #26042
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    [QUOTE=Bridget;1058496794Chrissy, how are you feeling today?

    I want Bill Maher's new book for christmas. On that subject, kind of, do your families know of your "secular" beliefs, whatever they may be?[/QUOTE]

    Tired still. I fell asleep again on the bus. I have a dr's number up on my web browser...it's just a matter of getting it together and calling for an appointment.

    I think everyone knows I'm atheist. If they don't it's because they chose not to. It's not really an issue in my world though.

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Cass - ewww! LOL! It was prolly just a different time back then. My gramma was 19 and gramps 35 ... AND he was her uncle (her dad's cousin). Ewwwwwwwwww! All these things...not an issue back then. Sometimes we tease my mom that she's high strung from in-breeding, like a cocker spaniel.
    That is gross, but we don't call our parent's cousins "uncle" or aunt. They're 2nd (or 3rd?) cousins, which even in today's day and age is actually legal to marry. Not saying I'd ever do that! Yuck!

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    ...and that I am obligated to get a sitter once in awhile to meet her need to do adult things without my child in the way, grown up things like dressing up in flapper costumes and drinking until I start to slur like Hemingway.


    We weren't much for getting sitters either. Very rarely we'd have one of our parents watch the kids, but that didn't even happen once a year. Rich & I go out or off by ourselves more now, but that's because my girls are old enough to watch Conner and we trust them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #26043

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    My parents know I'm UU, because they're the ones who introduced me to the UU church around age 9. I'm not sure if my extended family knows but I don't really know their religions either, it really doesn't come up so I'm pretty sure most of my family is pretty non-religious. It was just always a non-issue.

  4. #26044

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    My family should know. My mom I know she knows because she called me all exasperated one day and asked me if I believed that Jesus was my Lord and Savior. I told her no and that I didn't believe in any religion or any god. She said she would pray for me and that was that.

    I am not secretive with it and will make random atheistic comments in regards to people saying that I should do or not do something because "it is in the bible" or something that god wants me to do. I will then tell them that I don't believe in any religion or any god so that does not apply to me. I will also butt in IRL and on FB sometimes if people are going all crazy about a group of people with their religious dogma. I do my best to be respectful though as I do respect everyone's religion and feel that it is an important part of one's life. Usually someone ends up trying to lecture me though and then I get technical, because most think I don't know anything about religion and I am well versed in Christianity especially and the Bible in particular so I usually end up educating people on their own religion.

    Erin

  5. #26045

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    L, I started a thread in weight loss called WW questions and I would like to change it to WW questions and tracking-I want to try to keep track of my diet in there as well as on the website and hopefully get some support. I signed up for 3 months, can't remember if I told you guys. Can you edit the subject for me when you get a chance? Thanks

  6. #26046

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    kate, bodhi just looked at Josh's picture, smiled/waved and said "Hi, Mickey Mouse boy!". Next time we're in Boston, we'll have to meet up. I was a total dumb-dumb for not planning the New Bedford trip better last summer.

  7. #26047
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    You are where we were 2 years ago. I was 24 when we got married, and have been married for 16 years, 10 of those years with a dog. My personal opinion is that this baby thing is a young person's game. It is physically exhausting. On the positive side, I'm infinitely more patient now than I was a decade ago (which is turning out to be a good thing). And I do miss my leisure time terribly. I probably always will. Having a kid is a life changing experience, and not in good ways sometimes - don't let anyone kid you about that. I realize that is not going to be popular opinion, especially on a "mom board".

    Me, I would've been perfectly happy with just us and dogs. DH was not. It took him 10+ years to talk me into the kid thing (I'm NOT a kid person, so I had serious reservations). Mira is a great kid. She cracks me up. She also makes me want to hit my head against some immovable object a lot. I just hope that she grows up to be a good person.

    That is a good perspective to hear. I'm definitely the one who has wanted a kid much more than my DH. He sometimes wants one and sometimes I think he doesn't. If I was going to be a sahm, it would be an easy decision. But I work first and he's on 3rd....and not sure that we have enough to pay for daycare (maybe part-time) so he can get some sleep. And we do not have any family in the area to help out. His mom would love to move with us and if she was here, it would be an easy decision. But she's almost 61 yrs old, not old enough for medicare. Basically health insurance is the only reason she's not with us.
    Had we gotten pg when we were first going to try 6 years ago, it would have been good. And we have tried now for almost 5 years. In that time, getting older and getting much more into our routines and being used to being just us.

    I'm actually hoping right now that the agency doesn't have a match for us for at least a year, maybe two. That would hopefully give his mom more time to get up by us, save up more money and get the puppy to a mature trained dog and thus able to make a good decision. But I'm not ready to put a hold on our profile or anything either.

    Where is that crystal ball when you need it?????

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #26048
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    I'm skimming, so forgive me if I miss something important.

    Myles, I'm packed in the "whatever needs to be in the bag is in the bag" sense. I have to be done ahead of time 'cause DH doesn't help, Saturday is going to be taken up with dropping the dogs off at the kennel, and I really do not want to do anything but getting the kid tired out on Sunday. I still need to put stuff into quart sized bags and all that. Debating whether to take apple sauce or not. It says 4 oz. on the thing, but someone online said that they only allow you to take stuff that's in the 'baby food' category, and threw out their applesauce.

    I really like going to temples as long as they aren't crowded, and no one has ever really asked whether I'm admiring how pretty everything looks or praying. My mom's side of the family knows I'm not religious. Mostly, they aren't either, although we all try to observe cultural traditions, even the ones with religious underpinnings. My ILs would be horrified to find out, but they're not asking and I'm not telling.

    My grandpa was 32 and my grandma 16 when they got married. His two older brothers were married to two of my grandma's older sisters, so my grandpa used to play with grandma as a little girl, and fell in love with her as she grew older (he was one of these no nonsense types, not prone to sentimentality, but he had no trouble admitting that, and you'd have to be blind and deaf to miss it when he looked at her/talked to her). Grandma would never admit to falling in love with him, just says he needed to get out of her house because it was a toxic environment, and he was a nice enough guy. It was an arranged marriage, BTW. There is a 9 year age gap between my parents. She thought it was 8, but he turned a year older the week after they got married (she says she was robbed ).

    I have plenty of experience with non-babyproofed houses. My SIL, who has 2 boys, never proofed her house, and my own isn't particularly kid proofed either. If I go some place where I'd have concerns about things getting broken, I let the host know about it ahead of time, let them know that I'll be keeping a close eye on her and therefore not a particularly good guest, and then watch my kid like a hawk. If there are hazards (wiring and such), I let them know about it and ask if it is possible to remove the offending item - it's one thing to break stuff and quite another to get the kid electrocuted. I am up front about how much management it will take to keep the kid or house safe, so the hosts have reasonable expectations of my ability to contribute to merrymaking.

    BTW, marriage between uncle/niece - totally allowed in certain cultures in our country. And marriage between first cousins was extremely common in my own. One time when I visited, I stayed with my aunt in Bombay, and her next door neighbor killed herself (we could smell something burning) because her daughter ran off and married her sister's son, which caused an irreparable rift between the two sisters (they were *extremely* close, and the lady who died was a widow and didn't have any other close family).

    Mandy, I hope you have easier days ahead of you at work. And a BFP.
    Last edited by Suja; 11-30-2011 at 10:28 AM.

  9. #26049
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    One of my first 'red flag' moments with Rich was pretty serious and if it were my girls (or if I had any sense) maybe I should have ran fast and hard right then. We were having a minor disagreement and someone 'cool' was there. Rich told me sarcastically to 'let the rag out' I remember shooting him my stare and I didn't say another word to him the rest of the day. As bad as things got between us, he's never said anything like it again.
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I don't think it's a common term, just something he said at the moment. It was over 19 years ago and I'm now sorry I even mentioned it. It's the one and only thing he ever said to me that was so rude. That's not him and he's lucky I didn't run off when he said it. We were very new in our relationship (and I was 16 and he was 18, if that makes a difference).
    Guys say stupid things, most especially teenage guys

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I have heard on the rag before. But mine would never say that either. He calls it secret girly stuff.
    Your DH is a mess!

    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Hey everybody. We're back home from our trip to South Carolina. We bought a house there this summer, it's been vacant for 4+ years and wow does it need a lot of work. We did tons of yard work, dh had to replace the water heater, as well as other random house replairs. Gilly had so much fun playing in the dirt, riding his trike, and just being outside all the time. It was chilly up there, which was a nice break from our heat in fl.
    I sat there staring at your post because I could not process who the heck you were SN changes realy mess me up!!

    How did I not know you were in Fl. Or did I know and forget?? Thats highly possible with my brain misfires these days!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    what I do wish though is that we had a baby sooner. The older we get, the less sure I start to feel about it. I wish I could look ahead and see if we would be happier with or without a child. Having a puppy has been hard enough and we are missing out hobby/relaxation time...especially DH. We are going on 14 years of just the two of us...plus a dog for over half that.
    I can understand where you are coming from I have to admit there is a part of me that misses my pre-baby freetime and another part that wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. DH spent YEARS convincing me to have an LO and I guess now I'm glad he did, the totally dependant years are few in comparison to the broad scheme of things.... Or so I keep teling myself


    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Just got back from my u/s. Heartbeat of 109 but measuring a week behind where they thought I should be measuring... it actually makes sense with when I tested positives on OPKs but they are scheduling another u/s in a week to check growth.

    So more of this:
    Seeing a heartbeat is fantastic!! And 109 is a VERY strong heartbeat!! If you ovulated later than that accounts for measuring behind. I know this is hard for you mama


    Sorry I've been so absent lately. I feel bad because 90% of the time I don't have enough time to provide a well thought out/interesting post and honestly half the time I don't have anything constructive to add to the conversation so I just keep quiet

    I'm still stalking you ladies though and reading up on posts when I get a chance. I just wanted to let you all know that I am watching you

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  10. #26050

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    Christine, you don't have to be interesting or constructive to post in here.
    In fact, just to make you feel better, I'd like to share that Sawyer has been making a habit of popping off the boob while nursing to stick his toe in his mouth and giggle like crazy like the jokes on me.
    Last edited by Bridget; 11-30-2011 at 12:56 PM.

  11. #26051
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Christine, you don't have to be interesting or constructive to post in here.
    In fact, just to make you feel better, I'd like to share that Sawyer has been making a habit of popping off the boob while nursing to stick his toe in his mouth and giggle like crazy like the jokes on me.
    I don't know about that. All you ladies and your big words/wealth of knowledge can be a bit intimidating

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #26052
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I don't know about that. All you ladies and your big words/wealth of knowledge can be a bit intimidating
    I totally wanted to write something in intimidating language, but can't find the words. Foiled again!

  13. #26053
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I totally wanted to write something in intimidating language, but can't find the words. Foiled again!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #26054

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    Since the board went public and G has a unusual name I wanted to change my username. I went with my favorite fruit, mmm nothing like sweet ripe raspberries. yes I live in SW Florida, where are you?

    Bridget that is so sweet about Sawyer. I miss the nursing days. Now G is too busy to even hug me some days G is extremely independent, this after his first 9 months he wanted me to hold him 24/7. I miss those days.

    Myles, trust me it's very unusual that I am done with my shopping this early. We are doing a very light xmas this year, so I didn't have much to buy.

    The house smells good, I used the leftover turkey to make turkey rice soup in the crockpot. I highly doubt G will eat it though
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  15. #26055
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    I keep meaning to tell y'all about what Travis said to the photograper at the weekend when we had pics done. We were nearing the end of the session and Travis ran up to the guy and said, "Did you know that beans make me trump?" (Trump is English word for breaking wind! L-O-L) The guy was just like, "Oh, um, OK." Hehehehe.

    Bridget, that's really sweet about Sawyer.

    Christina, I go through phases of lurking on here when I feel like all I write about are just day to day stuff instead of exciting or in depth issues.

  16. #26056

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    Okay, need to confess that my boss is still rather flaky. She had me schedule four interviews today between 4pm and 6pm and I just got a message from her that she wants to cancel all of them because of "pressing deadlines." All she is doing is her self-evaluation. Also she lives about 75 miles away and I know she just doesn't want to come in because she doesn't want to get stuck in traffic. She has admitted she works from home more often now because it takes her over 2 hours to get to work and over 2 hours to get home. I can understand that but I think it is flaky to cancel interviews. This is the 3rd time in the past 3 weeks she has had me cancel interviews because she doesn't want to come in to do them.

    Erin

  17. #26057
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Sorry I've been so absent lately. I feel bad because 90% of the time I don't have enough time to provide a well thought out/interesting post and honestly half the time I don't have anything constructive to add to the conversation so I just keep quiet

    I'm still stalking you ladies though and reading up on posts when I get a chance. I just wanted to let you all know that I am watching you
    We know you're busy with school and your little one. It's ok, really!

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I keep meaning to tell y'all about what Travis said to the photograper at the weekend when we had pics done. We were nearing the end of the session and Travis ran up to the guy and said, "Did you know that beans make me trump?" (Trump is English word for breaking wind! L-O-L) The guy was just like, "Oh, um, OK." Hehehehe.
    Kids will say anything!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Okay, need to confess that my boss is still rather flaky. She had me schedule four interviews today between 4pm and 6pm and I just got a message from her that she wants to cancel all of them because of "pressing deadlines." All she is doing is her self-evaluation. Also she lives about 75 miles away and I know she just doesn't want to come in because she doesn't want to get stuck in traffic. She has admitted she works from home more often now because it takes her over 2 hours to get to work and over 2 hours to get home. I can understand that but I think it is flaky to cancel interviews. This is the 3rd time in the past 3 weeks she has had me cancel interviews because she doesn't want to come in to do them.

    Erin
    Oh goodness Erin. I know how frustrating it is to be someone that has a strong work ethic to work under someone that isn't quite so much.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #26058
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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Since the board went public and G has a unusual name I wanted to change my username. I went with my favorite fruit, mmm nothing like sweet ripe raspberries. yes I live in SW Florida, where are you?
    I'm about an hour North of Tampa

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post

    Christina, I go through phases of lurking on here when I feel like all I write about are just day to day stuff instead of exciting or in depth issues.
    Thats how I feel, thees nothing interesting going on in my life right now. I'm sleep deprived, cranky, hormonal, and probably not much fun to be around these days

    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Okay, need to confess that my boss is still rather flaky. She had me schedule four interviews today between 4pm and 6pm and I just got a message from her that she wants to cancel all of them because of "pressing deadlines." All she is doing is her self-evaluation. Also she lives about 75 miles away and I know she just doesn't want to come in because she doesn't want to get stuck in traffic. She has admitted she works from home more often now because it takes her over 2 hours to get to work and over 2 hours to get home. I can understand that but I think it is flaky to cancel interviews. This is the 3rd time in the past 3 weeks she has had me cancel interviews because she doesn't want to come in to do them.

    Erin
    Wow. I don't know how you handle working for her. That would absolutely pi$$ me off!1

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    We know you're busy with school and your little one. It's ok, really!
    Thanks Chrissy, I do read up on you ladies daily though. One of these days I'll have something stimulating to contribute

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #26059

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    Erin, that's so frustrating!

    Ash, that is really funny about Travis the trumper. On just the teensiest-bit related note, down in L.A. where we lived (by the sunken road I shared pictures of last week), we were just a couple miles from the Trump National Golf Course and, in front of it, a little-known surf spot. The spot had no name, and surfers do love to name their spots, so I came up with "Trump's Combover", the shape of which is a not-half-bad wave actually. Donald Trump was not a beloved man in the community, seeing as how he took a beautiful nature preserve and privatized/toxically fertilized it, so just the "1%" could putt around on it in their little carts. Add to that the stupid stuff he said during his presidential bid and I am extremely tickled to learn the slang meaning of his name.

    Christina, welcome back. How's school?
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-30-2011 at 06:07 PM. Reason: anal retentiveness

  20. #26060

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    Oh, and Mandy, how are you feeling today? I hope you don't have the flu.

  21. #26061

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    So after listening to Savana whisper to herself and over and over and over this morning that she hates school, she had another awesome day. Yesterday she came home and said that she was crying at lunch because everyone eats so fast and runs outside and she is not finished yet. Then she said that a little girl, Mackenzie said she'd sit with her until she finished. Then today she said the same thing happened and a bunch of her friends said that they would wait with her. I'm so happy she making such sweet friends.

  22. #26062
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    I'm glad she's making good friends too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #26063

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    So after listening to Savana whisper to herself and over and over and over this morning that she hates school, she had another awesome day. Yesterday she came home and said that she was crying at lunch because everyone eats so fast and runs outside and she is not finished yet. Then she said that a little girl, Mackenzie said she'd sit with her until she finished. Then today she said the same thing happened and a bunch of her friends said that they would wait with her. I'm so happy she making such sweet friends.
    Aw, . That makes me happy for her and you too.

    Have you asked her why she's so negative about school but seems to have such a good time?



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  24. #26064

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    Oh, and I have been lurking more because I find most of my free time these days is spent fast asleep. Probably the only pregnancy symptom I'm really feeling is total exhaustion.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  25. #26065

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    kate, bodhi just looked at Josh's picture, smiled/waved and said "Hi, Mickey Mouse boy!". Next time we're in Boston, we'll have to meet up. I was a total dumb-dumb for not planning the New Bedford trip better last summer.
    Haha! Too cute! Don't worry about it, I'm sure it will happen someday

    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I don't know about that. All you ladies and your big words/wealth of knowledge can be a bit intimidating
    Stick with me, I feel like I dumb down the place most of the time

  26. #26066
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Stick with me, I feel like I dumb down the place most of the time
    Hardly. That's my job.

    Speaking of dumbing things down...I'm currently reading my most 'intellectual' book I've read in years and I'm actually enjoying it. It's Mike Wallace's Between You and Me memoir. That's probably as intellectual as I'm ever likely to get.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #26067

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    Who is Mike Wallace? XD

  28. #26068

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    So after listening to Savana whisper to herself and over and over and over this morning that she hates school, she had another awesome day. Yesterday she came home and said that she was crying at lunch because everyone eats so fast and runs outside and she is not finished yet. Then she said that a little girl, Mackenzie said she'd sit with her until she finished. Then today she said the same thing happened and a bunch of her friends said that they would wait with her. I'm so happy she making such sweet friends.
    As a teacher-friend of mine likes to say: "That all sounds very productive to me." Even the kids finishing up their meals faster than her is probably a "safe" way for her to learn she can't control what others do. It's totally understandable that it was frustrating for her and she cried at first, but over time, she'll learn to accept it as not a "cryworthy" occasion. Plus it's so awesome to hear her negotiating with others; getting them to agree to stay with her while she eats seems like a giant interpersonal step (IMHO). You grow, girl!

  29. #26069
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Who is Mike Wallace? XD
    He's best known as a 60 Minutes correspondent. I haven't watched in years, but it used to be one of my favorite news shows...even when I was a kid. The book I'm reading is his memoir about some of his bigger interviews, Martin Luther King Jr., some mafioso, presidents, etc.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 11-30-2011 at 06:30 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #26070

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    Oh yeah, I think I recognize the name now.

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