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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #25981
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    Molly, I'm with your pregnant self. Gummy over licorice, which falls into the NOTFUD category.

    Bridget, SO glad the kids are doing well. And I wouldn't let my DH live it down either, if he mixed up LOL.

    Mandy, lots of luck! Keeping fingers crossed for a BFP.

    Chrissy, my very first job was picking trash in NYC parks. An experience I will never forget. I was new to the country, and frankly, the other kids scared me. Except for one guy, who'd vent to me about how his girlfriend was pressuring him to have sex with her(!!!). And that wasn't even the worst job I had. That came when I was doing my Masters. I was working 70 hour weeks at 3 jobs, one of which was a 'counselor' at a group home for mentally disabled adults. That job exhausted me - it was like babysitting a bunch of strong, willful, potty mouthed 5 year olds, and the 15 hour days (over the weekend) just about killed me.

  2. #25982
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    Molly, I'm with your pregnant self. Gummy over licorice, which falls into the NOTFUD category.

    Bridget, SO glad the kids are doing well. And I wouldn't let my DH live it down either, if he mixed up LOL.

    Mandy, lots of luck! Keeping fingers crossed for a BFP.

    Chrissy, my very first job was picking trash in NYC parks. An experience I will never forget. I was new to the country, and frankly, the other kids scared me. Except for one guy, who'd vent to me about how his girlfriend was pressuring him to have sex with her(!!!). And that wasn't even the worst job I had. That came when I was doing my Masters. I was working 70 hour weeks at 3 jobs, one of which was a 'counselor' at a group home for mentally disabled adults. That job exhausted me - it was like babysitting a bunch of strong, willful, potty mouthed 5 year olds, and the 15 hour days (over the weekend) just about killed me.

    I just spent about 3 hours repacking everything for the 300th time. Really need to stop.
    Last edited by Suja; 11-28-2011 at 09:54 PM.

  3. #25983
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    When are you leaving???? Are you going to have internet while you're gone? I'm going to miss you.

    ETA: Gummy worms!

    ETAA: Actually, if you don't want to say, don't tell us. I try not to tell people on the internet exactly when I'll be gone, either. I got more cautious after that stranger was offered my children to adopt.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 11-28-2011 at 10:06 PM.


  4. #25984
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    Oh, yes, how could I forget? Another vote for gummies.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #25985
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    When are you leaving???? Are you going to have internet while you're gone? I'm going to miss you.

    ETA: Gummy worms!

    ETAA: Actually, if you don't want to say, don't tell us. I try not to tell people on the internet exactly when I'll be gone, either. I got more cautious after that stranger was offered my children to adopt.
    Leaving Sunday. I'm not gonna say how long we're gone for. Should have internet, but it might be tough to find the time to squeeze it in. Too many people to visit, and I'm sure we'll have many visitors as well.

    Someone tried to sell your kids? Scary!

  6. #25986
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    I'm really impressed you have your packing done already. I hope you have a wonderful trip, and your daughter does better than expected on the flights.


  7. #25987

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    I used to never use emoticons but realized the verbal wrangling to be clear on this forum was taking
    more time than it was worth.

    LOL when you test, MAndy! Heehee

    Erin- I find people who love sports really strange and hated it when a boyfriend spent time on them instead if me. We just left New Orleans thus evening and it was full of football nuts because the Saints were playing. Just seems like An excuse to get drunk, wear matching outfits and misbehave.

    Make the gummy worms!!! I am interested in how they turn out.


    Hey Molly- we are going to the Dallas zoo tomorrow morning if you are interested! Short notice but if you are around it would be fun!

    NOLA was fun. We had a couple of really good dinners with friends, walked around a lot in the chilly overcast weather, bought some cheap art on Jackson square and looked at expensive art on Royal street, and had two delicious roast beef po-boys that were just about heaven on earth (and kind of more satisfying than the dinner that cost ten times more!)

    Suja, I keep meaning to tell you that we have had the coconut green beans twice now and love them! Thank you for taking the time to write the re ipes!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  8. #25988
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    Chrissy, 'chuffed' is an English word for 'pleased.' If someone says they're well chuffed over something, they are generally very happy about it...hehehe. (Is 'hehehehe' any better than LOL? I always feel like that makes me sound like a cartoon character when I try to write any type of word for laughter).

    Myles, I like how your brain works with the acronyms. I do similar things like that.

    Molly, get the gummy worms and your pregnant self will be chuffed with you. My guilty pleasure when pregnant was having a Snicker....gosh, I loved eating while pregnant. I never felt guilty, well, not really. Even now I eat things like Betty Crocker frosting from the container with a spoon and think to myself, 'I shouldn't be doing this' and then my belly says, 'aw, go on!'

    I am still not well and my brain keeps telling me to eat but belly says 'nooooooo!' I just want some food.

    Mandy, I really really really hope you get your BFP today!

    Bridget, I'm so happy S had a good day at school. Travis is finally making progress at school with the socialization part and he seems to be so much happier at school. I think we are going in the right direction!

    Erin, I know what you mean about men and sports. My DH likes to watch soccer every now and then but is not fanatical about watching a certain team every time they play or anything like that. Actually, I remember the first Christmas I spent with him was when we'd been "dating" for about 6 months and when he put soccer on TV to watch one night and then the following night watched Top Gear (a car show), I remember feeling like that was the first things that I didn't like about him. L-o-L!

  9. #25989
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    ...Just seems like An excuse to get drunk, wear matching outfits and misbehave.
    Hmm...maybe I should get interested in sports. Sounds like fun!

    I'm glad you had a nice time.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    ...I remember the first Christmas I spent with him was when we'd been "dating" for about 6 months and when he put soccer on TV to watch one night and then the following night watched Top Gear (a car show), I remember feeling like that was the first things that I didn't like about him. L-o-L!
    And you married him anyway? That's cute.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #25990
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Hmm...maybe I should get interested in sports. Sounds like fun!

    I'm glad you had a nice time.


    And you married him anyway? That's cute.
    I know, I know. It's just funny to me thinking back that I thought he had no flaws til then.

  11. #25991
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I know, I know. It's just funny to me thinking back that I thought he had no flaws til then.
    Why can't men be flawless? Is that really too much to ask? I jest.

    One of my first 'red flag' moments with Rich was pretty serious and if it were my girls (or if I had any sense) maybe I should have ran fast and hard right then. We were having a minor disagreement and someone 'cool' was there. Rich told me sarcastically to 'let the rag out' I remember shooting him my stare and I didn't say another word to him the rest of the day. As bad as things got between us, he's never said anything like it again.

    God help the guy that says that to my daughters. I did have an opportunity to get in the ex-bf's face that was verbally/emotionally abusive to Bobbie last year. I was drinking a little and not as pissed as I was pretending to be, but he later told Bobbie I scared the crap out of him. Good. I don't forget and he's lucky I didn't have an opportunity to 'talk' to him back in January/February. I seriously would have tackled him to the floor then.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #25992

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    I also LOVED that dbf didn't watch sports. But now he watches football and gets really into it and acts like he can't miss a packer game. I do find it endearing though because I know he does it so that he can bond with my dad and my brother because they are huge football fans. As far as red flags go, don't even get me started! *lol*

    I confess that I am not sure what "let the rag out" is supposed to mean exactly. Like you were pms-ing or something?

    Molly, excited to hear about you ultrasound.
    Mandy, I hope today at work is better than yesterday.
    Last edited by Bridget; 11-29-2011 at 06:53 AM.

  13. #25993
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I also LOVED that dbf didn't watch sports. But now he watches football and gets really into it and acts like he can't miss a packer game. I do find it endearing though because I know he does it so that he can bond with my dad and my brother because they are huge football fans. As far as red flags go, don't even get me started! *lol*

    I confess that I am not sure what "let the rag out" is supposed to mean exactly. Like you were pms-ing or something?
    I'm sure your dbf has 'em all beat in the red flag dept Bridget. I'm also sure that's not exactly a contest you'd want to be a winner in.

    And yeah, that's what the insinuation was. I wasn't pms'ing at the moment, but it was definitely a jab at me for being a female and an attempt to minimize whatever point I was trying to make.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #25994

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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    I used to never use emoticons but realized the verbal wrangling to be clear on this forum was taking
    more time than it was worth.

    LOL when you test, MAndy! Heehee

    Erin- I find people who love sports really strange and hated it when a boyfriend spent time on them instead if me. We just left New Orleans thus evening and it was full of football nuts because the Saints were playing. Just seems like An excuse to get drunk, wear matching outfits and misbehave.

    Make the gummy worms!!! I am interested in how they turn out.


    Hey Molly- we are going to the Dallas zoo tomorrow morning if you are interested! Short notice but if you are around it would be fun!

    NOLA was fun. We had a couple of really good dinners with friends, walked around a lot in the chilly overcast weather, bought some cheap art on Jackson square and looked at expensive art on Royal street, and had two delicious roast beef po-boys that were just about heaven on earth (and kind of more satisfying than the dinner that cost ten times more!)

    Suja, I keep meaning to tell you that we have had the coconut green beans twice now and love them! Thank you for taking the time to write the re ipes!
    I would've loved to meet up! But we'll be heading to the heard museum today with a friend. If you're ever up in these parts again let me know.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  15. #25995
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    I had never heard the term either. DH, for all his flaws, would never say anything like that. Probably because he only has very vague notions about female stuff. He knows I can be something that rhymes with witchy.

  16. #25996
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    Molly hope you found some gummy worms! And have a great ultrasound.

    Mandy fingers still crossed for you!

    I'm so excited for Bobbie that she gets to start college soon and live in the dorms. That is definitely a good experience to have even if you get nutso roommates like I did (literally nutso). Makes for a great store later.

    And I'm so excited that Savana had a great day at school. And even better is how this seems to benefit both kids.

    Suja, I bet that you will have a great trip!

    Kate, I don't know that I would bother with a dietitian. I have seen one before, I had to as part of the pre-op work for the gastric bypass. (I had to do that, go to classes, see an exercise specialist, cardiologist, pulmonary doctor...it was a year long process). My insurance did pay for it but I had super insurance and worked for the medical college where I had everything done. And really I didn't learn a single thing. I think that we basically know how to eat properly. If anything, I would say to try weight watchers...when I followed the program, I would lose weight that week. The online one is pretty easy to use and from what I have seen, they have one of the best track records for people being successful.

    I don't mind a sports fan. I'm married to one. Of course there are the Packers...and yes DH does have a Packer outfit he wears for the games and we do have a hat that is fake cheese. And more often than not I make our lucky Packer meal for the games...mac and cheese (WI cheese of course!) and broccoli....green and gold. Oh and also the Wisconsin Badgers.
    And than there are the Brewers. I like them less because they seem to play practically every freaking day during the season.
    He likes to watch the World Cup, Tour du France, the Olympics (favorite is curling in the winter...we actually have a curling club where we live and I have suggested he try that as he loves to watch curling). He likes to hockey and will watch the Minnesota Wild if nothing else is on. Heck he would probably watch log rolling if given the chance. Oh and he likes tennis too.
    The one sport he really cannot stand is basketball.

    I don't mind the sports too much because it makes him happy and I often will play on the computer or read or something while he is watching.

    Now what would turn me off big time would be if he was a hunter. Super common up here since we live up north. The idea of it though just grosses me out and I don't know if I could be attracted to someone who killed a living creature for sport. Slightly better if it's done for food but still icks me out.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I don't think it's a common term, just something he said at the moment. It was over 19 years ago and I'm now sorry I even mentioned it. It's the one and only thing he ever said to me that was so rude. That's not him and he's lucky I didn't run off when he said it. We were very new in our relationship (and I was 16 and he was 18, if that makes a difference).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #25998
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I had never heard the term either. DH, for all his flaws, would never say anything like that. Probably because he only has very vague notions about female stuff. He knows I can be something that rhymes with witchy.
    I have heard on the rag before. But mine would never say that either. He calls it secret girly stuff.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I'm so excited for Bobbie that she gets to start college soon and live in the dorms. That is definitely a good experience to have even if you get nutso roommates like I did (literally nutso). Makes for a great store later.
    She'll have her own room. I think the dorms are set up in quads so there's 4 bedrooms to each 'common' area.

    Rich hunts but I have nothing to do with it except eating the meat. He'd never solely trophy hunt. It's all about the food and sport for him. I was against hunting as well till I did a research paper on it, and honestly we all benefit from hunters. They help control the deer population and one benefit to that is less auto/deer collisions. Not to mention disease and starvation if herds were allowed to mass produce without any population control.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #26000
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I have heard on the rag before. But mine would never say that either. He calls it secret girly stuff.
    Like I said, he said it one time 19 years ago and he was 18 and showing off. It's not that big of a deal.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #26001
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    She'll have her own room. I think the dorms are set up in quads so there's 4 bedrooms to each 'common' area.

    Rich hunts but I have nothing to do with it except eating the meat. He'd never solely trophy hunt. It's all about the food and sport for him. I was against hunting as well till I did a research paper on it, and honestly we all benefit from hunters. They help control the deer population and one benefit to that is less auto/deer collisions. Not to mention disease and starvation if herds were allowed to mass produce without any population control.
    Oh that sounds nice! I wish that my first two dorms would have been set up like that. The last one, I did get a private room and bathroom....I paid more for it but but I was also a few semesters into school by the time I transferred to the third college.

    Yeah I know that there are some benefits to the hunters. I don't eat vension or anything like that. I also don't eat fish. I just don't find hunting/fishing to be something that is attractive to me and is a turn off. My uncle was a hunter but my dad is not. And my sister's gf hunts. It might be hypocritical or whatever but if I had to kill my own dinner, I would be a vegetarian.

    Now give me a book smart thinker playing chess..... I love a nerdy guy!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #26002

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    I would have thought that was rude as well Chrissy. My DH says a TON of rude things, so much so that some people in my family think he has a mental illness. I just think he's rude. He says very chauvanistic, sexist, and homophobic things. He doesn't say them often but when he does, and I do tell him this, it diminishes my respect for him in my eyes.

    His main rude comments center around what I'm "supposed" to do because I "have a vagina." Like cook and clean and do all the chores. I remind him that I work more hours than he does. He says he isn't required to do any of that because he does "man's work." Most people don't think he's serious when he says rude, idiotic things like that but for me it makes him a smaller person every time he says it and the comments are the main reason why, and I have told him this too, that I feel I will eventually divorce him because I will get sick of hearing stupid sh!t like that.

    Erin

  23. #26003
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    His main rude comments center around what I'm "supposed" to do because I "have a vagina." Like cook and clean and do all the chores. I remind him that I work more hours than he does. He says he isn't required to do any of that because he does "man's work." Most people don't think he's serious when he says rude, idiotic things like that but for me it makes him a smaller person every time he says it and the comments are the main reason why, and I have told him this too, that I feel I will eventually divorce him because I will get sick of hearing stupid sh!t like that.

    Erin
    Ouch. That would be a little hard for me to take as well. I love how you're able to keep a sense of humor about it though.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #26004

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I would have thought that was rude as well Chrissy. My DH says a TON of rude things, so much so that some people in my family think he has a mental illness. I just think he's rude. He says very chauvanistic, sexist, and homophobic things. He doesn't say them often but when he does, and I do tell him this, it diminishes my respect for him in my eyes.

    His main rude comments center around what I'm "supposed" to do because I "have a vagina." Like cook and clean and do all the chores. I remind him that I work more hours than he does. He says he isn't required to do any of that because he does "man's work." Most people don't think he's serious when he says rude, idiotic things like that but for me it makes him a smaller person every time he says it and the comments are the main reason why, and I have told him this too, that I feel I will eventually divorce him because I will get sick of hearing stupid sh!t like that.

    Erin
    Crazy how similar your dh is to my dbf. I have cringed at some of the things he says. He is truly ignorant about some things. I don't mean he is stupid. He genuinely has no idea that some of the things that come out of his mouth are totally inappropriate. I call him out every time and tell him he sounds racist and ignorant. He tries to be offended but I tell him that offending him is a risk i will take to let him know how he is presenting himself.

  25. #26005

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    I would consider weight watchers, except for the cost. I don't want to sign up for another program I might not stick with. I would like to try it though-it sounds sensible. You're right, I do know how to eat right, but without a physical list or meal plan to stick to, I go all over the place.

  26. #26006

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    Molly, how did the ultrasound go, momma? I hope they were able to see past all those gummy worms in there.

    As far as the hubby goes, I suppose I should count myself lucky that I married fairly late in life and had a firm sense of what I wanted in a partner (plus a good list of deal-breakers too by that time). One of the things I knew I wanted was an partner who was interested in doing the same activities as me. So I don't think a guy who spends hours in front of the TV watching sports would have made the cut - for lack of a better term - only because I wanted a buddy who'd be out there doing lots of outdoorsy stuff with me. DH is actually way more critical of people who "camp out" in front of games (sports and video) for hours on end than I am. He has difficulty seeing it as anything but a waste of time, and I have to remind him that it's not...for people who really love it, who bond with their friends over it. Along the same lines, since I got married in my 30's, I was already super-turned off by guys who thought anything truly derogatory about women, so dealbreaker there too. I mean, I have a dark sense of humor and had a few boyfriends who made some pretty off-color jokes that crossed a few lines, but they were always understood to be tongue-in-cheek.

    kate, before signing up for a program, have you looked for an online community that have food journals, menu plans, group challenges, etc? I can think of a few like the free Weight Watchers message boards (people are scary mean there, though) or www.my-calorie-counter.com/ or fitday.com. I've noticed that just writing down what I eat and how much I exercise on a daily basis really makes a difference in the choices I make.

    Today is the last day of my 121-Day challenge, and am going to launch straight into another one to keep the momentum going/set some goals for my Puerto Rico trip. I'll share my round-up with y'all tomorrow. I'm pretty happy with my progress so far.
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-29-2011 at 02:35 PM.

  27. #26007
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    This has turned out to be one busy day. Let's see - CVS (Melatonin for the dog, diabetes supplies for FIL), post office to mail something out, 220 volt appliance store to get something for this crazy relative of DH's (except it was too expensive, and I didn't buy it), Chinese place for yummy fried rice goodness (no cooking, so YAY!), Michael's for tiny toys and stickers for distribution, Target for some kid supplies, ziploc bags (to finish packing the dogs' food and as barf bags), etc., Costco for extra dog food, and then went to have my face threaded. All that's left is to color my hair today so I can shampoo tomorrow before my Keratin treatment on Thursday.

  28. #26008

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    Hey everybody. We're back home from our trip to South Carolina. We bought a house there this summer, it's been vacant for 4+ years and wow does it need a lot of work. We did tons of yard work, dh had to replace the water heater, as well as other random house replairs. Gilly had so much fun playing in the dirt, riding his trike, and just being outside all the time. It was chilly up there, which was a nice break from our heat in fl.

    I am the odd man out in my family when it comes to sports, they all love football and basketball. I personally couldn't care less. If G chooses to play sports, I will support him, but once he's done, I will be done with it. My dh doesn't follow sports either, which I do like about him. Having grown up in England, he prefers rugby or English football(soccer) but those are hard to find unless you have premium sports channels, which we do not. I mean on Thanksgiving, we did yard work, and then cooked together, with no football game on. It was a very quiet holiday, just the 3 of us.

    Molly, hope your ultrasound went well.

    Bridget, so glad to hear Savana is adjusting to school.

    Kate, I know for me I would need to WW meeting for the accountability. An online diet plan would never work for me. I guess I am not disciplined enough. Or it could be the kettlecorn in my pantry.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 5

  29. #26009

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    I was on my fitness pal for a while and it was helpful but there were so many people with so many different methods, I kept switching teams. "Hey this person lost weight eating nothing but pizza, I'll try that!" "But this person eats nothing but protein, fruits and vegs and that works for her!" I was so overwhelmed. I just want someone to say "This will work for YOU" and give me a menu I can follow. If I'm allowed any parameters I go nuts. "Give them an inch they'll take a mile" kind of thing.

    I wish I'd married later in life. I know myself better now than I did when I met DH at 18 and I think I would have picked a totally different person now. Although I'm still torn between the clean cut type and the couple screws loose type

  30. #26010
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    Kate i think that giving WW a try for 3 months would be worth a shot. It's not so much a month for the online version. I just dropped mine but had it for a year...I just didn't keep track but I am trying to use a lot of the principles and by now I know the points for a lot of what I eat anyway. What I like is that you can literally have anything on it but you are rewarded for making better choices like fruits and veggies and lean proteins. there is a weekly allowance and allows for a night out once a week. and you are rewarded for exercise. the points are pretty easy to follow.
    I will definitely think about signing up again in the future.....just for now I'm on the puppy weight loss plan. Lost at least 3 lbs but probably more because my pants are much looser...it had just been over 2 months since last weight check.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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