Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

Okay, so I admit I'm looking at flat-coat pictures on Google images again. Which lead to my discovery of this dog that I have never heard of before ... and now I have to question if Nero isn't one of these and not a flat-coat. Nero is solid black except for his paws and a very small bit of white at the tip of his tail, but his paws look EXACTLY like the third photograph under the description (labeled Timo). And the breed description says they have white tips to their tails. Am I crazy?

I think I'm going to have to spring for doggie DNA testing on BOTH my dogs.

[Bridget]

I hear that a lot from the parents I work with - they have to figure out what is "autism" and what is their child. You'll get there with the ocd. And you know, Savana is Savana regardless.

I had a great conversation today with a good friend about anxiety and anxiety disorders. We were talking about how really the only recourse a parent has is to be firm and model strength, and how totally counterintuitive that feels. I'm synopsizing quite a bit, but what I'm trying to say is that as a believer in gentle parenting, my heart hurts for you when I think of you having to tell Savana to listen to her Dad when he's being unfair, in an effort to keep her environment peaceful and anxiety -free (my instinct would be to swoop her up and scold your dbf too). Even telling her to stop doing the compulsions that give her anxiety relief would feel like punishment to me. It's no small task dealing with that as a parent.



100% this.

And even though this sounds too optimistic, the difference between OCD and a diagnosis like Autism is that people can learn to overcome their OCD symptoms, essentially being cured. She'll get there.

I'm glad I decided to pop back on one more time before going to bed. Thank you both for your insight and reassurance.

[Suja]

I know a Huckleberry. He is an absolutely spoiled rotten little Smooth Fox Terrier. He is the only dog I have threatened with death. He is also the only dog I know that has birthday parties, complete with rented halls, doggie friends, cakes for dogs and humans, party hats - you get the picture.

Mandy, Khan started off being Ghengis Khan. Now, he's Khan Bear (this cannot get back to him; he'd die of embarrassment). Also, it's highly unlikely that Nero is a LM. They are a rare breed in this country, registered only through the breed club and FCI. Oh, and if you do the DNA test, go for the blood test. It is far more accurate than the cheek swab.

[girlwonder]

Okay, so I admit I'm looking at flat-coat pictures on Google images again. Which lead to my discovery of this dog that I have never heard of before ... and now I have to question if Nero isn't one of these and not a flat-coat. Nero is solid black except for his paws and a very small bit of white at the tip of his tail, but his paws look EXACTLY like the third photograph under the description (labeled Timo). And the breed description says they have white tips to their tails. Am I crazy?

I think I'm going to have to spring for doggie DNA testing on BOTH my dogs.

Hey! They look exactly like our dog Hobbs! I could never figure out what kind of dog he was, but he is a dead ringer for those Munsterlanders! He had the same mottled spotting on his chest and feet and a white tip on his tail, longer hair neither soft nor coats and his face has exactly the same sort of pathos and soulfulness as well as the same ears and size of head, everything! I am excited to find this! But he must be a mix because he doesn't have the temperament they describe - much more mellow and doesn't like to be outside unless he has company. I swear, though, that he IS a Munsterlander! Cool.

ETA: Hobbs is hands-down the very best dog I have ever had! Just had to say that. So if he IS a munsterlander than you should get one too!

[Cosmosmom]

man what is with these men and their awful baby names?????

so the poodle beagle mix lady finally got back to me (this was not an approved date the two parent dogs had)....but still no pictures. They are on her phone which doesn't have internet. My phone I don't think can accept picture texts. I suggested she try my sister (who would want to see the pics anyway) because I think that she can email from her phone to me.

I told DH to seriously think tonight when he's at work if he wants two dogs at the same time or not. If he does, he might want to just go see in person.

Cosmo does not get a birthday part. We just tell her happy birthday, call her birthday dog and she gets a toy. I am a crazy dog parent but not totally far gone. LOL

[Gwenn]

Nero doesn't like to be outside without me either. He does need exercise but he doesn't like to be out alone in the yard. Interesting!

Oh, and parties - no doggie parties and no birthday presents. Christmas presents, though, usually a new toy and a treat.

[Suja]

The dogs get a child scoop vanilla frozen custard on their birthday/gotday. Mom gets a pineapple creamy. They're SO deprived.

[3andMe]

You guys have been so chatty today! I scanned like 3 pages worth of talk while I was scarfing down my lunch at my test today. I was downtown SF, and I kept thinking I was probably somewhere near Mylah, eating at the same places she eats. I was taking Advanced Cardiac Life Support and we were doing megacodes and it was essential for one person to scribe on the white boards to keep track of what drug was given and when the shock was given and what other interventions were given and what the VS were, and all the pens were dry, so I spent half my lunch hour running around trying to find dry-erase markers to donate to the class because it was driving me crazy. Then I relaxed by reading your conversation. It was so nice. I didn't do any last-minute frantic studying, and I did great!

My aunt does Great Dane rescue (for reals) and she always has at least 3 Great Danes at her house. I remember going on walks with big dogs with her since I was a little kid. She has two adults who have been with her for a long time, and one just recently passed away, so she has a puppy now. She is training her, and brought her to the last party. Everyone thought she was adorable. DH keeps talking about how great it would be to get a puppy, but I think it would be nearly impossible. He has cleaned the kitty litter twice in the past four years. Plus I like to be able to go out of town for the weekend without worrying about a pet.

Baby S. with Baby Great Dane (Roma):

I also tried and failed to read Temple Grandin's book about autism and animals. It was in our bathroom for about six months. It is very rare that I cannot read a book. I got through the first three chapters and then finally put it away. It was interesting, conceptually, but seemed a little off-putting and pedantic.

Speaking of awful baby names, does it count if I kept suggesting to dh that we name ds "Khan of All Khans"? I was mostly just trying to light a fire under him so he would realize it was time to come up with some names.

My first-world problem tonight is that my children have stopped eating as many bananas as they used to so I have to keep making banana bread.

Bridget, I hope you and Savana can find a solution where both of you can be happy. I'm sorry that you're even a little worried about her. But yes, she will get there. You can both get there together.

[Gwenn]

I also tried and failed to read Temple Grandin's book about autism and animals. It was in our bathroom for about six months. It is very rare that I cannot read a book. I got through the first three chapters and then finally put it away. It was interesting, conceptually, but seemed a little off-putting and pedantic.

She's very much like that in person as well. It really is the autism. You can tell just from her writing how affected she is.

Which is why very few people with Autism have published books.

[AmeriBrit]

Aw, all the dog talk makes me really miss my chihuahua Noel Gallagher. She died last year of old age. She was 17. She lived with my parents when I moved over here. She was the best dog ever. I don't think she ever thought of herself as a little dog but more like a little furry person. She never liked any other dogs. She didn't like many people either. She was very protective. Whenever I sat on the couch with her and my dad would walk by, she'd growl at him. I remember the last time we visited; she looked very old and frail but she still growled at anyone who walked past us when we were on the couch.

We also had a dog called Mudd. She was a mutt and was the color of that dog that was on Turner and Hooch, red fur with yellow eyes. She was a good dog. One summer while crossing the road after we had just a few seconds before after blackberry picking, she got hit by a car. It popped her right eye out of her head. She lived but was blind in that eye for the rest of her life. She would walk in to stuff sometimes for not seeing it on her blind side.

One of these days when the boys are older, we might get a dog. I've always wanted a Siamese cat or a Russian Blue cat as well. We always had lots of cats and dogs growing up in the countryside.

[Bridget]

When we said goodbye to Koa and placed her in the loving care of the woman who was helping us train him, she told us that if we ever decided to get another dog to let her know and she would help us find the right one for our family. She said Great Dane's are the best for families with children because they are so gentle and don't need to be walked every day because they prefer to lay around. That surprised me.

Molly! Are you in here today?? What time is your appt?

[daylilies]

I scanned through what I missed last night and this morning and saw a lot about dogs and the issues about Savana. Have you considered taking her to a therapist, someone who specializes in OCD in children? Maybe someone she could talk to and who could eventually help her get over some of the routines, and behavior like licking.

[Bridget]

I scanned through what I missed last night and this morning and saw a lot about dogs and the issues about Savana. Have you considered taking her to a therapist, someone who specializes in OCD in children? Maybe someone she could talk to and who could eventually help her get over some of the routines, and behavior like licking.

I've been looking at different clinics in our area. She has an appt with our pedi mid-december. I really like and trust him and he knows my position on meds so I am hoping he will be able to refer us to the right people.

[missychrissy]

Goodness, y'all really were chatty!

Now that I have accepted the fact that Savana has some phychological issues that need addressing (I watched her lick her shoulder once or twice during dance. Better that than her hands but still...) it's been a struggle for me to differentiate between what is normal 6 year old behavior and what is the ocd. I feel like I'm being such a hard ass sometimes about certain things.

I can see myself licking my shoulder at 6 for no reason other than maybe to feel the different texture of that skin as compared to my hands. I did odd things like that.

I'm sure that's not helpful at all.

You think that they did a databackup? I don't know for sure, I just know that it works a whole lot better than it did. And I'm VERY happy! No more virus, no more malware, no more infection for my puter!

And it feels so cool and not so hot! I will totally use those guys again in the future. and yeah we were pretty happy about the price. They had said it would probably be 50-75 before they even looked at it and it came back at 60 so pretty good.
And to think I thought the puter might have been a goner.

Funny how I'm on one all day long but really don't have a ton of knowledge on how they work. I know how to do work on one but not the behind the scenes of how that happens.

If your data is still there, and your dh has his lego house, then yes they backed it up. Even if they didn't do a clean OS install (which really, they should), there's always a slight chance you'll lose data so everyone with any sense in IT backs it up before starting any intense process.

My users will sometimes say that they feel 'stupid' when I help them over something that they realize is a simple issue. It's not their job to know the inner workings of software & hardware. That's my job, and I tell them that. God help me if any of them asked me to write a book..then they'd see what 'stupid' is.

to you too!

...people can learn to overcome their OCD symptoms, essentially being cured. She'll get there.

Agreed. You're a wonderful parent Bridget and I'm confident you'll help her through this. It's a process but I think you're already on the path anyway.

Certainly - it wasn't my intention to make a comparison between the two in that way (and I know you didn't think I was).

I know I knew what you meant.

You all are outpacing me! I can't keep up! The party on Sunday went well with no rain (sadly - we really need it). Now I am getting ready for my studio tour this weekend and next - it's a really cool event where artists in my area of town open their studios for people to tour and look at/buy their work. I got picked by one of the art critics in the alt weekly paper, which is great! There are over 150 studios and I was one of 10 chosen as a place to go! I'm not prepared...

for no rain and super congratulations on being a chosen one!! That's wonderful. I really do admire your work a lot.

My first-world problem tonight is that my children have stopped eating as many bananas as they used to so I have to keep making banana bread.

mmm....now I'm very hungry and I just realized I forgot to bring my lunch.

[Smplyme89]

You are some chatty ladies

I'm going to try to avoid APA today since I'm off work and Noan is at the sitters so I need to hit the books

[girlwonder]

I also tried and failed to read Temple Grandin's book about autism and animals. It was in our bathroom for about six months. It is very rare that I cannot read a book. I got through the first three chapters and then finally put it away. It was interesting, conceptually, but seemed a little off-putting and pedantic.

Me three! The tone stuck in my craw. I think it is related to the autism, but it made the book unreadable for me.

[Ky'sMom]

All of the dogs are so cute!!

I love dogs but don't want pets right now, even though we have 2 dogs right now. I consider them DH's dogs, not mine.

I had a beloved yellow lab from the time I was 11 to 23 years old. He was a big lab, about 100lbs and lived a long time IMO to be so old.

If it is any consolation Gwenn, he was also pretty psycho. I used to tell people he had mental issues. My mom originally got 2 dogs because when we brought hom Hector, our lab, he was so sad and crying to be away from the litter that she went back and got another to keep him company, Butch. One day they both got out of the yard and our crazy neighbor ran Butch over while Hector watched and from that day on, Hector had mental issues. I think it was a PTSD thing. People always thought I was nuts for thinking this. He had to be on doggie prozac for a while, a few years actually because of his anxiety. He also had allergies and would sneeze around people not in our family. I used to tell everyone he was allergic to people LOL! I loved him though and I feel he loved me more than anyone else in the family, probably because I was more responsible and would feed him regularly and take him outside on walks.

I was only sad about going away to college because I didn't want to leave him. During a summer break, he passed away in his sleep. I haven't wanted another dog since then.

I love our two dogs now, even though I consider them DH's dogs. I think I mentioned that one of the dogs, the bigger one, injured the smaller, older one this past summer. Our older dog Mr. Hyde now stays in the house because I don't want to risk Bruno injuring him again. Mr. Hyde used to have what I called a "social anxiety disorder." He would shake anytime someone new came over and even would urinate and run from people. He is a mixed breed dog we found on the street when he was around 4-5 months old. He had always been afraid of everyone. This past year he has really come out of his shell. He is almost 5 years old now and is the sweetest, friendliest dog ever. Everyone keeps asking what we did to help him, but we didn't do anything, he is just a sweet natured dog. He will literally pick up your arm to make you hug him if you are sitting down and he will try to make everyone pet him. He is just ridiculous in the affection he needs. I always feel bad when I have to tell him that I've petted him enough or that I cannot pet him because I just washed my hands and I have to cook. He will look at me all sad and sigh and lay down staring at me with big puppy dog eyes.

Erin

[girlwonder]

for no rain and super congratulations on being a chosen one!! That's wonderful. I really do admire your work a lot.

Thank you! I appreciate hearing that. This year has been pretty dismal and I really haven't sold many eggs (thanks Mandy for buying one!) I hope that Christmas will be a bit better for me this year than last year. I'm going to be $2500 in the hole from all the preparations for the show, so it is a very daunting thing to think about - how many eggs do I have to sell to at least break even! And I feel like my mac is starting to get sludged up and slow so I want to make enough money to be able to buy a new mac in the next year or so if I need to. I feel like I just got this one, but I guess it has been three years maybe? We will see.

If you are interested, here's the link to the show: http://www.eastaustinstudiotour.com/#

And here's the link to the critic's pick recommendation:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/arts/...stops-brenner/

I guess that makes up just a bit for the placement next to the graphic sexual obscenity artist in the paper catalog. If I think to long about that I start to tear up. I haven't even looked inside the catalog because I don't want to see it. My neighbor said that I should work up a little diorama with eggs placed in the exact same position as the two beings in the picture and have it out as a piece of work. I may try to do that, depending upon my time today. I have to price all my work today, glue findings on ornaments, sweep and mop and make sure my credit card stuff is set up for sales and that I have enough money (thank goodness I went to the bank on Wednesday since it's a holiday today!).

Sorry for the novel.

Oh, and I read a funny thing the other day. The quote is: "Sorry," he said without apology. And I think the author was not aware of the joke because it wasn't that kind of book.

[missychrissy]

"The resulting objects are delicate and beautiful enough to make the entire House of Fabergé seethe with envy."

[Suja]

I'm SO surprised that so many people had trouble reading Grandin. It's stuff like 'Marley and Me' that makes my eyes roll so far back in my head it gets stuck, and makes me want to pitch it out the nearest window. Then again, there are a lot of books that get exceptional reviews that I'm like 'What the....?'

Bridget, I have a very good friend with OCD. You wouldn't know if she didn't tell you. It is very fixable.

I am in a pissy mood this morning. Kid has a cold, and DH always acts like it's the end of the world when she does. He goes around moaning and groaning about how she gets sick all the time, and how her little body doesn't have time to recover, and how it's going to affect her growth and then goes on to say stupid **** about 'I don't know what's going on in that daycare that's making you so sick' or 'Maybe we're not clean enough at home'. In the meantime, he never lifts a finger to help with anything around the house. I did a little experiment, where I washed and folded his laundry and left the laundry basket in a place where he'd have to hop over it in order to get to the garage. He did that for a few days, and then went on a tirade about how it's in his way and why I can't pick it up and put it away. I swear, some days, I feel like I have two unruly brats, one of whom is completely beyond reach.

Anyway, here I sit, eating Panettone and drinking an energy drink that I got talked into at Costco for breakfast.

[AbbeysMom]

If you are interested, here's the link to the show: http://www.eastaustinstudiotour.com/#

And here's the link to the critic's pick recommendation:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/arts/...stops-brenner/

I guess that makes up just a bit for the placement next to the graphic sexual obscenity artist in the paper catalog.

And congratulations!!! I like the write up too.

Molly! Are you in here today?? What time is your appt?

I went in for a blood test yesterday and now I get to do this until they call me.

Thanks for thinking of me, Bridget!

[Suja]

And here's the link to the critic's pick recommendation:
http://www.austinchronicle.com/arts/...stops-brenner/

That's a nice write-up. I had no idea you did such beautiful work. It's so intricate. How long does it take you to complete an egg? I continue to be in awe of all the awesome talent you ladies have.

[Cosmosmom]

My users will sometimes say that they feel 'stupid' when I help them over something that they realize is a simple issue. It's not their job to know the inner workings of software & hardware. That's my job, and I tell them that. God help me if any of them asked me to write a book..then they'd see what 'stupid' is.

.

I tell my users the same thing. I can usually wipe out a lit search in 20 minutes most of the time and they are all impressed because they spent 3 hours and found nothing. Most of the time I work with nurses and tell them it's my job to know how to construct a lit search....and their job to be nurses. I sure as heck would have NO clue how to do all the variety of things they can do!

[Cosmosmom]

Katy what an awesome write up!!!!!!


Suja....well I have to admit that after years of reading high end stuff for school, I kind of like to read trash now. I mean not the most trashy but I do like more brain candy. I like fiction...I rarely read non-fiction unless I have to. I like YA lit, vampires, mystery, some drama. I really prefer series and trilogies.
Currently finishing up Crossed, the next book after Matched. Good trilogy but not as good as Hunger games. After that I'm working on a YA vampire series called Blue Bloods and another called Vampire Academy.
I'm on the wait list of the next Alex Cross mystery by James Patterson, though I love his Women's Murder Club series more. Also waiting for the next one in the Kay Scarpetta series by Patricia Cornwell. Oh and the latest Janet Evanovich in the Stephanie Plum series.

Those that liked the Hunger Games....these two were really quite good also. Divergent by Veronica Roth and Delirium by Lauren Oliver. I think that I like those both better than Matched.

[missychrissy]

...I have to admit that after years of reading high end stuff for school, I kind of like to read trash now. I mean not the most trashy but I do like more brain candy

Yes! The exact same thing happened to me too Jennifer. Actually, I was a book worm my whole life, then college totally spoiled it for me. In the last 2 years I started reading for fun again, but only on the bus. And only 'garbage' for entertainment purposes only.

I finally found a book that made me think of it at other times in my life. I found myself reading it while everyone else watched tv, and well into the late night hours even during the week. Wanna know what book it was? Slash. I was actually sad to come to the end of it...I haven't experienced that sensation in years.

And now, of course, I'm back on this huge GNR and other heavy metal bands kick again. I even had to follow in Kate's footsteps and follow some of my former favorites on Twitter, just to see what they're up to. I think I got Slash, Axl, Sebastian Bach, and Tommy Lee so far.

[girlwonder]

Thanks for all the propers! Suja - it depends upon the egg. some take a half hour and some can take days of work (usually the ostrich eggs). I just got a shipment of parakeet eggs - they are so teeny tiny and sodorables (my made up word when I saw them), about the size of your thumbnail. Those don't take too much time at all, especially if I only do two or three colors.

Oh, Suja - I keep meaning to tell you that we have tried the green beans recipe a couple of times and we really like it! The coconut adds a really lovely depth of flavor. I think it is interesting that western palates are used to only sweet coconut - it has so much more to offer when used in savory dishes. Love it!

[Smplyme89]

Mandy I didn't know you painted eggs (don't know how I missed that) those are absolutely beautiful and I'm sure you will do fantastic!!! You are SO talented (which of course means I am extremely jealous )

[girlwonder]

I'm SO surprised that so many people had trouble reading Grandin. It's stuff like 'Marley and Me' that makes my eyes roll so far back in my head it gets stuck, and makes me want to pitch it out the nearest window. Then again, there are a lot of books that get exceptional reviews that I'm like 'What the....?'

Bridget, I have a very good friend with OCD. You wouldn't know if she didn't tell you. It is very fixable.

I am in a pissy mood this morning. Kid has a cold, and DH always acts like it's the end of the world when she does. He goes around moaning and groaning about how she gets sick all the time, and how her little body doesn't have time to recover, and how it's going to affect her growth and then goes on to say stupid **** about 'I don't know what's going on in that daycare that's making you so sick' or 'Maybe we're not clean enough at home'. In the meantime, he never lifts a finger to help with anything around the house. I did a little experiment, where I washed and folded his laundry and left the laundry basket in a place where he'd have to hop over it in order to get to the garage. He did that for a few days, and then went on a tirade about how it's in his way and why I can't pick it up and put it away. I swear, some days, I feel like I have two unruly brats, one of whom is completely beyond reach.

Anyway, here I sit, eating Panettone and drinking an energy drink that I got talked into at Costco for breakfast.

I love Panettone. Love.

I had the same type of experience last night with my dh. He doesn't do dishes - doesn't even put them in the dishwasher. He doesn't even put them in the sink so they are out of the way! They just sit on the counter in the kitchen or on the side tables in the living room. It is one of those things that causes me periodic volcano eruptions of annoyance but it doesn't ever really change. Frustrating. I guess I have to just try to remember that I don't do yard work at all ever for any reason and try to see that as an even trade.

And it has been a while, but from what I remember about reading the Grandin book was I got repeatedly annoyed with how pleased she was with herself - she just kept patting herself on the back about how smart and great she was. Made me feel like a jerk for getting annoyed, because I am sure it is a function of her autism and lack of social finesse but I just got tired of reading about how freaking great she was. I guess it made all her stories sound the same to me - 1) problem, 2) Super Temple comes in and saves the day, 3) Super Temple is so super smart Yay!

That sounds really mean!

[missychrissy]

And it has been a while, but from what I remember about reading the Grandin book was I got repeatedly annoyed with how pleased she was with herself - she just kept patting herself on the back about how smart and great she was. Made me feel like a jerk for getting annoyed, because I am sure it is a function of her autism and lack of social finesse but I just got tired of reading about how freaking great she was. I guess it made all her stories sound the same to me - 1) problem, 2) Super Temple comes in and saves the day, 3) Super Temple is so super smart Yay!

That sounds really mean!

roflmao! You're definitely not mean. That sort of grandiosity drives me crazy.

Speaking of people with social disorders, Bobbie asked me last night if it was weird to first meet someone online and when you can't/don't respond to them right away they write to you, "Was it something I said?" Instinctively, I wanted to say that the person was too needy and she'd probably want to avoid them, but nice me (i.e. Mom) said that maybe he/she had some issue Bobbie wasn't aware of and even though it appears like a dependency personality (or something) we could be wrong.

Anyway, she continued chatting with this fellow and a couple hours later she told me he had Aspergers. She was so glad she didn't 'shut the door' in his face. I'm very proud of her too.

[Suja]

Suja....well I have to admit that after years of reading high end stuff for school, I kind of like to read trash now.

I didn't mean to give the impression that I read high end stuff now. I mostly read trash too. Mine are usually of a forensic bent - Beverly Connor (forensic anthropology), Kathy Reichs (forensic anthropology), Kay Hooper (paranormal serial killer stuff, but the romance angle is so barf inducing I've had to take a break), Jeffrey Deaver (Lincoln Rhyme series - forensics), Aaron Elkins (forensic anthropology), Jonathan Kellerman, etc. I had stop reading Cornwell books; IMO, the author has gone off the deep end, and the books have jumped the shark. When Borders went out of business, I got like 20 of these.

The exception to my trashy reading habits is animal behavior books. That's where Grandin came in. I also like and read Ian Dunbar, Patricia McConnell, Jean Donaldson, etc. I figured if I'm going to live with another species, I might as well learn everything I can about them.