I buy a lot of shoes online too because I used to be a size 5 (now I'm 6 for some reason, IDK why) But it's a lot easier to find fives online than in stores.
You know how you should always just count on 50% of people saying no when you invite them to a party? We have had only 3% say no, according to my pingg invite stats. So at last count we will have 55 people here on Sunday. Oh, and I just found out that rain is likely. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
I have a really difficult time with shoes, too. I started having a lot of foot pain after my last pregnancy and had to see a podiatrist. I wear my Keens almost every day and the last time I tried to wear dressier shoes my feet screamed within a few minutes. I took them off and put them in the Salvation Army bag.
When I finished reading to the twins tonight they started drumming on my belly and their own. I was listening to the different sounds, and then DS commented on how fat my belly was. I didn't think much of it, because kids say stuff, and then DD added, "Yes, it's really big. It's very, very fat. But do you know who has a much fatter tummy? Daddy! He's really fat." I sat up and asked them where they heard the word fat, because I've never said it in front of them.
DS told me that one of the (very thin) preschool boys says it a lot. Referring to himself. And that Daddy says he's fat. I talked to them about how bodies are composed of various tissues, like cartilage and bone and muscle and fat, and everyone has fatty tissue. That is what makes it more comfortable when we sit down on our butts. Some people have more fat than others, and they are overweight and it's not healthy. However, it is not kind to call people fat, and I would put it in the same category as a potty word - that it is fine to use in a medical or scientific or clinical context, but not okay to use as an insult or to describe someone. Finally their bodies are wonderful and they should treat them well -- think about all the good things their bodies do for them like climb stairs and do somersaults and take them fun places, and they should always feed their bodies healthy foods and exercise them and say kind things about them. If they hear someone like Daddy saying "I'm too fat" then they should remind them to say kind things about their bodies.
I was so sad after I kissed them goodnight. I have talked to dh about negative body image in front of them, and even little things like when they ask him to draw a cat and he says "I'm no good at that, I just won't even try." When there are 6-year-old girls out there dieting, can he not be more aware? Or am I just making a big deal out of it? And can you believe the 4-year-old boy who is walking around at their preschool talking about how fat he is? Anyway, dh is overweight, and he knows it, but what he needs to do is lose the weight and not talk about it in front of the twins.
Good luck with your party, Katy!
I have the hardest time finding comfy shoes that fit me. I think one foot is bigger than the other. And since I live in flip flops all the time, I swear my feet have spread. Good times. My dad has the widest feet ever. He wears a EE, could even be a EEE. I remember when were little my brother and I used to play in our parents closet, and we'd snicker at my dad's dress shoes. They looked like a platyus bill, they were so wide. Stylish 1970's dress shoes in size EEE.
Now I groan thinking I must have my dad's feet. When I do buy actual closed toe shoes, they end up hurting my feet, then I give them away to charity. I will need help if I ever move from a warm climate.
Lydia I think everything you said to them was spot on. I'd be sad too. It's crazy to think how easily children are affected by our own self image.
L, that is so sad. I remember when I was 6 another little girl told me she hated me because I was thin. I've never understood that - she was a healthy weight and I was severely underweight. I've had a negative body image because of that for most of my life, I suspect. I feel sad for her, too.
I'm too tired to catch up with all your chattiness - sorry because you girls had fun in here. But I will say that I saw the doctor for a recheck of my knee and he referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Ah, all good points, L. So far, B's only been introduced to the word "fat" thru books about opposites, as in "Some pigs are thin, some pigs are fat, but how big is a pig? Can you tell me that?" It is a little jarring to hear B use the word even in the context of it being the opposite of thin. The term has a cruel 'nyah, nyah' type of connotation. I like the way you classified terms as scientific vs. potty words. Will add that to my repertoire.
Molly, your DH story made me LOL too.
Last edited by demigraf; 11-02-2011 at 01:59 AM.
I missed two pages worth!
Yes, my birthday was Oct 30th too. How cool, I've never met anyone who had my birthday before! That's crazy. Happy birthday you two and Savana too!
Christina, I hate shoe shopping too. HATE it. The only shoes I think look remotely good on me are Converse but DBF keeps telling me I'm stupid for buying them because they're so flat and give me no support. Which is true but I like them
Speaking of shoes, DBF found these at Ross the other night and showed them to me as a joke. Little did he know HOW AWESOME THEY ARE:
He'll never forgive himself for showing them to me
Speaking of helping, DH & I just agreed that B is a candidate for becoming a spoiled child, so we decided that we will do charity activities - including "volunteer vacations" in less developed countries - as a family. (ETA: when he gets older) I'm very excited about that and all that B will learn.
Karen, fun shoes. The sell Docs @ Ross now? Wow.
Last edited by demigraf; 11-02-2011 at 01:59 AM.
Those shoes are awesome!
Oh, and Myles, I meant to apologize if I upset you about the "cool" comments. It was intended as a sign of respect for you, not to make you feel like I think you're hyper-critical of everyone. Because I know you aren't that way.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
No, no, no, Gwenn! 'Course not!
My feet a freakishly narrow. Not really small in length. I wear a size 5 but my feet are so skinny. They look so childish do my feet. And buying boots is nearly impossible for me because of my scrawny calf muscles. Saying all that, though, I did just buy some really cool shoes for the winter. I'll post a picture when I'm on my laptop next time.
Lydia, I'm going to try to remember everything you said to your twins when the conversation happens with Abbey. A friend was telling me that there is a giant billboard advertising plastic surgery (common in DFW) that has a thin women saying in a word bubble "I went from a size 8 to a size 2!"
I almost cried at the thought of how many girls/women were made needlessly self-counscious because of that sign. I know this sound sover-the-top but I plan on introducing feminist literature to Abbey pretty early on. Hopefully that can counteract the mass amount of body-conscious imagery and general self-loathing that she will encounter in the world. :|
I'm up at 5 am and have been up for 3 hours, because Abbey threw up from coughing in the middle of the night and I had to clean her up, change the sheets, and rub her back until she went back to sleep. I'm not complaining, actually I'm basking in the glow of feeling like a pretty good mommy right now, since she took to stroking my cheek lovingly and thanking me when she was dozing off.
Last edited by AbbeysMom; 11-02-2011 at 04:08 AM.
Poor Abbey. I hate when they are sick. But bask away. You are such a good mama. Have you heard of the book, Tatterhood and other Tales? It's a collection of fairy tales where the woman is the hero. It's such a great read. I read it to Savana a few months ago.
All this talk about body image and gender bias makes me want to live off the grid so bad. Apparently dbf will need to shape up if he wants to come with us.
I used to read US magazine for my celebrity gossip but stopped buying them once Savana was old enough to look at what I was reading. I don't want her wishing she looked like anyone but that beautiful girl in the mirror.
I also think you handled the conversation well L. My mom was constantly talking about how fat she was when I was a girl and that she needed "to lose 100 lbs." I never really saw my mom as fat and I remember thinking if she lost 100lbs she would be invisible. Even though she was overweight she didn't need to lose 100lbs IMO. It is strange now because I am overweight as well and I probably could stand to lose 100lbs, at least in my mind I think I do. In logical Erin mind, I think I could stand to lost around 60lbs and that that would be sufficient based on my body composition since most people don't think I weigh as much as I do since I am rather muscular, but based on the number on the scale and those charts, I could stand to lose 100lbs. I remember thinking of it a lot after having Elle when I was much fatter than I am now (scientifically fatter too, I was 265 lbs so I was very fat). I lost 58 lbs in 3 months after I was given the clearance to do so and wanted to lose another 40lbs on top of that but got side tracked. I think I've gained around 10lbs back, but that is just guessing since I don't weight myself anymore because I felt that based on my mom's history and just society's view of women's bodies in general, I truly believe that I will probably never be satisfied with my weight, so it was a goal of mine to not talk about it anymore or to even think about it. I try to just think in terms of health. Am I heating healthy, am I exercising at least 3 hours per week, which is my exercise goal. Lately I haven't been exercising because I have just been swamped with things. I haven't been to the gym in a week so I am going to try to make sure I go this weekend at least. I think I have pneumonia though and have been feeling tired and crappy so after I feel better I will go back.
But based on my mom's comments about her weight and based on my own similar thoughts that I used to have about my own appearance, I do not talk about fat/thin things at all. DH does because he grew up in a family that is extremely thin. He was a chubby child, not really fat IMO but his mom and family would refer to him as the "chubby" child of the family and he is still affected by it as he still thinks he's fat and he has said on more than one occasion that he is too fat and needs to lose weight in front of the children. Ky went through a time at the age of 5 where he kept saying that he was fat as well (based on some girl in his class calling him fat and I think DH's comments about his own weight didn't help matters).
And Molly I don't think it's over the top to introduce feminist sort of literature to a child at a young age. I do that with Ky even though he's a boy and I am sure I will do so with Elle as well. I also will not read them any fairy tales that include a man saving a woman, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. I know it may be over the top but I do not like those stories. I don't want my son to think he needs to save some woman who may end up using him and I don't want my daughter to think she needs a man to "live happily ever after." So we just do not read those stories at all and I will tell them why as well when they are old enough, like 4 or so. Elle has never read or seen any of the "princess" stuff for girls because I don't like those stories. Sometimes I feel maybe I am being to crazy about these things but it is just something I am not comfortable with introducing to Elle especially. She will already be told by society she is not pretty enough or thin enough and I don't want her to think that she needs a man to be pretty or thin or worthy of love.
Gwenn I hope you don't need surgery
Karen I can't see the pic at work, I'll check it out when I get home. And for the record Converse are THE most unfcomfortable shoes EVER
Poor Abbey, I hope she is feeling better. I concur with Bridget you are most definintely a good mama
I'll have to store Tatterhood and other Tales in my memory bank to buy for Nolan.
Erin I don't think your being over the top! I can understand your reasoning completely. I always hated the general consensus that a woman 'needs' a man
Love the Erin smiley!!
Mandy that is too bad, I hope the surgeon gives you good news.
Poor Abbey, hope she feels better. Sweet story about her rubbing your cheek. That memory will always be with you.
L, that makes me so sad about the kids and body image. It's a real problem in the US. I suffered from poor body image while growing up. My mom was overweight, and was always on a diet. In high school I was a normal weight, but I have thick strong legs, and of course I wanted thin legs. I wanted this mini skirt for my birthday, once I got it, I refused to wear it because I thought my thighs were fat Of course now I would love to have those 17 year old thighs.
Makes me want to move to South Africa and live on a farm. Learning to speak Afrikaans could be a problem though.
I became a great-aunt yesterday!! My nephew and his wife had a precious baby girl named Sophia. They are 3,000 miles away though, I'd love to give her cuddles and snuggles.
Aww congrats on your new niece
I always wanted to do gymnastics but my mom didn't sign me up because she couldn't afford to do it. It was a pay activity in our area and was pretty expensive. Instead of telling me we couldn't afford it though she said she didn't because my "tits would get too big" eventually and I wouldn't be able to flip anymore. It was funny at the time but I was upset that she said that about my boobs. I was 7 at the time and I was already in a training bra and I wore an A cup when I was 9 but I figure if I had been involved in a strenuous activity like that, I may not have had such large boobs. That is my random memory of the day!
Awww thats sad Erin, what a thing to say to a 7 year old
Aww I just want to hug everyone who has had such body issues. I honestly don't know why I don't have that. Well I did after a point like when I had the gastric bypass...I didn't like being THAT fat. But I also have no desire to be thin....I think that I would look old and sickly. Really I have a picture of me at Disney when I was at my absolute thinnest point after the surgery and that was still 204 and a size 18(and I'm not super tall or big boned, my height is an average 5'5/5'6). And I look like I was sick....though it probably didn't help it was right after a long WI winter and I was also pretty pale.
Now I went and was stupid and didn't maintain that and instead let things get out of control again and gained back more than I should have. So I would ideally like to lose 30-40 lbs and would be thrilled with that...something where I'm back in 2x instead of 3x clothes. Still a plus sized girl but would just feel better and have a better time with clothes fitting correctly. Hopefully I can get on better with the exercise and I already eat pretty well (actually enjoy fruits and veggies and eat both daily at usually 2-3 times a day).....and knock off the drinking (something I picked up along the infertility route and am realizing that I cannot keep it in the house or I will drink it...expensive and way too many calories).
I started being a chubby kid when I was about 6/7....and I grew up with a pool and spending summers playing it and riding bikes so was at least somewhat active. But I still didn't have really issues about it. I think that it really helped having two parents who were involved and loved me. And my mom made sure that I always was dressed nicely and looked nice for things like school. Her belief is that you can be fat and still look nice...no need to be fat and dumpy. I had great hair, loved reading and was great at being a student. I know the few times I heard some idiot making comments like in high school, I would just say to myself, and where is he/she going to be in 10 years, probably nowhere. And from what I have seen on FB...generally came true.
As for stories, I love ones where the girl is the hero and more often than not pick series with a female lead. But I also love a princess story with a handsome prince to the rescue.
Yeah, my mom is weird like that. But really I didn't think of it as sad. Big boobs run in our family. I was just sad I couldn't do gymnastics.
Forgot to add though that I did post the pics of our Halloween getups on FB this morning in my Oct 11 album. Ky decided against the teeth on the side of his mouth though bwcause he didn't like the pic on the directions and thought it too freaky, so I just did a basic zombie.
Gwenn, I hope your consult goes well.
I've already mentioned that I have terrible feet, but I didn't mention that they're shaped like Donald Duck's feet (no exaggeration). With being flat footed and having an extra bone and some ligament now stretched over the extra bone and all that, let's just say that I live in my hiking shoes with the orthotic. And when we actually go hiking (it's been a while and I very badly miss it), I have to tape it up further. I also have small feet - size 6 - 6 1/2, so it can be hard to find good hikers at stores, and I end up ordering them online, at Sierra Trading Post. I had to go to Houston about a month ago to meet with clients, and picked up some cute shoes to go with my cute/sexy suit. OMG, they totally killed me. I ended up walking barefoot at the airport. Torture devices, that's what they are.
Other than when I was pregnant (and shortly thereafter), this is the heaviest I've been. Need to lose about 10 pounds. What I don't like though isn't so much the number on the scale, but how I actually look. My upper body has changed completely. I don't like being a C-cup; I want my Bs back. And my stomach - OY! At some point, once DH is more able to handle Mira by himself, I will resume going to the gym.
My body image issues come more from my height (or lack thereof), than my weight, actually. You have no idea how difficult it is to be armpit high, packed like sardines in a NYC subway car. On the plus side though, people always think short = young, so I can pass for being a lot younger than I actually am.
Karen, those are some awesome shoes, and you must get them.
Last edited by Suja; 11-02-2011 at 09:39 AM.
I'm in the short club too Suja I hate it. I look SO extra frumpy because of my height, but I spend all day in 4 inch heels to offset it though
You have very cute kids. I'm sure you know that, but I can't get over how adorable they are!!