Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

Thankfully he's not as bad as that. Goodness, how sad I am for you I also hate when people don't take responsibility. We all make bad choices and everyone does it for a reason in a sense, but there always comes a time when you have to reflect and just say you're sorry and own up to the fact that your reason really wasn't good enough.

Rich insinuated he's drinking more because the kids are fighting a lot lately. He didn't come right out and say that, but when I said I wasn't going to live with someone that drank every day his first response was, "I'm not going to live with kids that fight every day"

Last week Jessica made a bad decision, one that she had discussed with him prior and when he let her go I happened to come across her and intercept. Later, when I found out that he had known her plans I asked why he didn't stop her. He tried blaming her! I was like, who's the adult? She's 16!! It's stuff like that.

[Smplyme89]

Eh, don't be. I've embraced my life experiences, they have made me the stubborn, strong b*tch I am today I used to be in a very angry place, but DH helped that alot.

Aren't siblings supposed to fight?? I though thats kind of what they did! Either way its not excuse to be drinking more. I hope the drinking isn't too severe. Daily drinking is a slippery slope to becoming an alcoholic.....

[missychrissy]

He's definitely an alcoholic. It's been going on for 2 years and just getting worse.

I don't think our kids argue that bad. Bobbie is going through a really hard time and is more sensitive than normal, but everyone understands and she kinda has permission to take her aggression out on us (verbally). Rich doesn't seem to be on the same page though.

[Smplyme89]

I'm sorry to hear that Chrissy, I didn't know Like I said you are one strong mama I hope he comes to his senses and realizes theres a problem soon

[missychrissy]

I'm just coming to terms with the fact that he is an alcoholic. It's not diagnosed or anything and I've been ignoring the signs, but really it's clear to me.

[3andMe]

Gwen, I don't think there is anything particularly wrong about transporting a biohazard waste container through a public area, provided teleportation or a direct exit into the loading dock isn't an option. It's not appealing, granted, but I don't think it's unsafe because they are supposed to be hard and secured if they contain sharps and should be covered tightly with a lid if they are not sharps. They are moved through our public corridors all the time. They are around the public just by virtue of being in exam rooms when patients are in them. They aren't carried through our waiting room just because ours is not a through-way, but they are carried among the public all the time. I would not have thought anything about the biohazard containers at all, but I would have given a second thought to a 2-year-old playing in front of a door that someone could walk through and bang into without seeing, and that poor mother with six kids who probably couldn't keep track of all of them at once.

Briana, congrats for making through the storm, and hope your migraine improves.

SimplyMe (I'm terrible at names, and even worse when they aren't listed in signatures), the snippets of your life gave me the shudders and I'm impressed at your willingness to do your best to shrug them off.

Chrissy, just hugs!!!!

I was reminded today that I have enforced sharing! We were at the lake, just me and DD and baby DS, and we had a bag full of sand toys. A couple of other kids came up and grabbed a couple of toys and DD said "Hey! Those are our toys!" and their mom came over and gently told her boys that if they want to play with other people's toys they need to ask politely (SO refreshing!). They were somewhat young and weren't that great at it, but I kind of nudged DD and reminded her that we liked to share our sand toys, didn't we? And she stepped right up and said, "Oh, yes, please come join us and play with our toys. Thank you for for asking." And the other mom nudged again and told her boys to say thank you.

Anyway, it was nice to have a pleasant interaction with another mom and kids, but my real point is that I suddenly remembered out of the blue that I used to tell the twins that if we were going to bring our sand toys along to the beach or the playground, we would have to share with everyone. If they weren't willing to share, then I wouldn't bring them. I remember a long time ago, before S. was born, DD was sharing them with another girl and her Dad told her how nice she was to share them and DD said, "My mommy says I have to share or I can't play with them at all." Oh, the honesty of youth!

[Bridget]

Glad you're safe B!
Chrissy, I'm so sorry Rich is drinking again. I wish your stress load was not so immense.
First world problems really crack me up.

Our garage sale was ok, having it again tomorrow. We aren't rolling in the money or anything but making a little extra cash and getting rid of a lot of clutter. Savana made a bin of free toys for kids and she made sure every single child took something, even if they didn't particularly seem to want to.
We had another rough go at the bike riding. She was determined she was just going to "sail down the hill merrily" but she totally panicked and ended up falling before she could put herself all the way in the grass. The injuries were minor but oh boy she was upset. Wailing and sobbing all the way home and then to continue in bed saying how happy she had been and sure she'd been that she was going to do it this time and how very sad she is now. She went on to say how hard life is now and she was she little like she was before. Sometimes I am taken aback by her sorrow over what seems like a minor mishap. It breaks my heart.
Tomorrow if she wants I am going to try taking her in the morning when she is fresh. She was pretty tired tonight by the time we went.
Kai just fell back asleep from waking up to vomit everywhere. I think it's probably from the ton of lemonade he drank from what they were supposed to be selling. I could not keep him from it. At least I hope it's nothing more serious.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm glad the storm didn't cause you too much hassle, Briana.

[demigraf]

I sold my "Wooden Toy Lover's Lot" on Craigslist today on eBay. I spent maybe $60 on the whole thing, and sold it for $75. I still think the buyer got a good deal. She met me outside this park I'd never been to that had the longest slide I've ever seen. Even I got spooked going down it.

DH is trying to talk to me, so I'm going to stop and listen to him.

[AmeriBrit]

DH is trying to talk to me, so I'm going to stop and listen to him.

I giggled at this part of your post. Good on ya, Myles, for being such a good wife! I'm being good to my Rich today by letting him sleep in. He got up with Cash yesterday and acted all grumpy all day yesterday for lack of sleep.

[Gwenn]

DH is trying to talk to me, so I'm going to stop and listen to him.

What a good wife you are!

On my way to bed so I'm skipping over numerous posts, but had to share my own first world problem before I forget to share later.

Went to a steakhouse with my family tonight. I had asked for a baked potato with everything on the side. The waitress asked "sour cream on the side?" and I said that was mine so she set it down to my left. Then I realized it was just sour cream and the other potatoes had everything on the side. Well, the first potato was actually my dad's and since he was sitting to my left, she left it where it was and put my potato on my right.

Since I'm left handed, the potato that I first thought was mine was in the perfect spot for me to eat it, and the new potato was in a spot that was very difficult for me to eat. I complained several times loudly that I couldn't reach my potato, but my dad, being both Asperger's and with an age-related hearing loss and never wearing his hearing aids in restaurants, completely ignored me when I said I couldn't reach - all while my sister rolled her eyes at my dad and said, "Yeah, that's how things go in this family."

Then DH said, "Talk about a first world problem - I can't reach my baked potato because it's on the wrong side of my prime rib!"

To my dad's credit, when I did catch his eye and explain my problem to him he did make space for me and I did get to eat my potato in the end!

[demigraf]

OK. That was a pretty funny story DH just shared with me. He's working this weekend up at a studio that's scoring music for a movie. It's a full orchestra, and he and a couple engineers were talking about the piccolo -how it's such a cute, tiny little flute. One engineer said, "It's like the gherkin of flutes!" Then the 3 of them spent the rest of the afternoon laughing about how the guy couldn't stop "gherkin his piccolo."

OMG, you guys, I used to have a much more highbrow sense of humor before I got married. The things I will laugh at these days...

L, your first world problems are funny ones. I was down to only one heel from the bread loaf today, and I ended up making a sort of pizza out of it for Bodhi and our trip to the zoo earlier today. It turned out pretty well. I think the heel went over better than the "Mexican Cheese" mix I used for the cheesy part of the pizza. LOL.

On end tables, L, I am a huge fan of the Sitcom Furniture Outlet in Oakland. http://www.sitcomfurnitureoutlet.com/ It's a true outlet. The prices there are rock bottom and their furniture is fairly modern. It's luck of the draw what they'll have in stock, but I found a highboy dresser for $200 that I saw on Amazon for $798. I was only sorry I didn't shop there first when we first moved because I would have preferred to get a bedroom set there above what we did end up with. And while you're there, check out the neighborhood, in particular the bldg on San Leandro and 40th. It's the warehouse I lived in for 2 years during my 20s with my boyfriend, a bunch of DJs, a crazy artist (a bunch of crazy artists if you branch out to the whole building), and a dominatrix. That place got so insane, it's what drove me to move back to LA. I still feel a little sick to my stomach whenever I pass it because I hit some seriously low lows there.

Tomorrow I'm going to have a playdate with a mom I met at last weekend's mom club picnic/beach clean-up. Actually, I met her first over a couple months ago at a local playground. She's newer to the area than me, having just moved from San Francisco. I was impressed that she was teaching her toddler son Spanish and that he actually knew the words for star and turtle. So she had to rush off before contact info was exchanged, but I had convinced her to join the mom's club before she left. We have a bit in common, particularly that we surf. Can I just say I'm a little jaded on my hopes of making a new friend? I've had a lot of false starts, and some of them were disappointing. For example, when I first moved up here, these 2 moms bought some cloth dipes from me off of Craigslist, and they invited me to join their informal mom's crew for awhile. I liked them a lot and thought they were cool, funny, interesting and artsy, but I never really "broke in" to their circle. I'd see pictures of the fun family trips they'd all take together as a group with their good looking, hipster husbands on FB, and I'd just get mildly upset that I hadn't been included. Eventually, I just unfriended them on FB, since that was the only contact I was having with them by then, and realized we weren't really "friends" and it wasn't really going to click since I had no opportunity to really dialog with them anymore. So yes, I think this new mom is one of those that I'm going to feel slightly like a dork around, and I'm sort of expecting her to be super excited about me right now, but later disenchanted. That's totally my insecurity talking, but what the hey - this is a confessions thread, right? Might as well give our adoring public something to work with.

I made it through another week of my "Conscious Choices" nutritional challenge and the good news is that I lost .8 lbs. I'm especially happy because this was DH's birthday week. The bad news ... well, it's not really bad news. It's just so hard to feel like the progress is so slow despite the fact that I feel like I'm working really hard, and the weight I already lost could come back so quickly. Just a little bloating could erase all the hard work I did the last month. At the ob/gyn last Friday, the assistant put me on the scale and then she rounded up... by something like 2.5 lbs. I wanted to insist she fix that and "don't you know how hard it was for me to LOSE those 2.5 lbs?" But then I realized that'd make me seem like a nutter.


"Seem". Ha!

[daylilies]

You guys crack me up!

I just wanted to say everything is still fine up here but internet was out this morning, so it may go out again. If I lose internet or power I'll come back on as soon as I can to let you guys know I'm alright! It's very windy up here. It's supposed to be approaching NYC around now-hope you're alright Chrissy.

[3andMe]

I feel like I really need to interject quickly here that the list of first world problems I posted was from another forum specifically about first world problems. I just listed them. The only one that was actually mine was the matching furniture one. I'm starting to get worried with the semantics of everyone saying "Your first world problems are really funny!" that I may not have been clear. I also found another forum in that same area called "Explain it to me like I'm five," which I enjoyed browsing last night. I saw a really horrific video last night after someone wrote in and asked what would happen if he broke his wrist and didn't treat it.

As a former piccolo player, I heartily approve of the gherkin joke!

Thanks for the furniture store recommendation. I will go check it out. Unfortunately, I'm leaning toward white for the end tables and there just aren't that many out there. And I want to avoid glass for the obvious reasons of not having a child put a limb through it and lacerate an artery (my previous end tables had glass inserts), and it seems like 90% of them have glass. Since our house is a Craftsman and has built-ins and cream walls and white trim, it seemed like white would be okay. My computer desk and all of our bookshelves and our french doors are white.

I was looking at this site and sent this link to dh as an example.
http://www.allcoffeetables.com/Heath...00-HB1461.html

[missychrissy]

I remember a long time ago, before S. was born, DD was sharing them with another girl and her Dad told her how nice she was to share them and DD said, "My mommy says I have to share or I can't play with them at all." Oh, the honesty of youth!

That made me lol. How funny!! I love kids and their honesty!

DH is trying to talk to me, so I'm going to stop and listen to him.

Then DH said, "Talk about a first world problem - I can't reach my baked potato because it's on the wrong side of my prime rib!"

To my dad's credit, when I did catch his eye and explain my problem to him he did make space for me and I did get to eat my potato in the end!

All's well that ends well, right?

I just wanted to say everything is still fine up here but internet was out this morning, so it may go out again. If I lose internet or power I'll come back on as soon as I can to let you guys know I'm alright! It's very windy up here. It's supposed to be approaching NYC around now-hope you're alright Chrissy.

I'm a few hours NW of NYC so it's just raining here. It's flooding my back yard though. The darned pond is overflowing and washing more away. That neighbor better fix it this fall.

[missychrissy]

I'm enjoying the first world problem references. They're humorous, but they've also made me think about what might be a real problem and what might be just a 'I'm a spoiled American' reflex. I didn't think all your 'problems' listed were all yours, but I've been aware of that site for a while and assumed you were quoting them.

[demigraf]

My first world problem: There's only Yuban in the house for me to make my iced coffee with! Blech! (<-- autocorrect tried to make that Bosch!)

[demigraf]

Now my first world problem is that I'm worried I offended someone with my snobbishness about Yuban.

[Ky'sMom]

Okay, I think I am beginning to understand from context what a first world problem was. I am so slow sometimes, it really annoys others who know me IRL but I have always known I am slow in certain areas. So what I am understanding is that we live in the first world and our problems are different from people in the third world (problems like starvation, certain diseases, being killed in a tribal war or something) am I right?

I will have to think of some.

Glad everyone is doing okay who is near the path of the hurricane/tropical storm. Stay safe!

Erin

[Gwenn]

I feel like I really need to interject quickly here that the list of first world problems I posted was from another forum specifically about first world problems. I just listed them.

I assumed you were listing that site. I've never read the site but heard it mentioned before.

I'm a few hours NW of NYC so it's just raining here. It's flooding my back yard though. The darned pond is overflowing and washing more away. That neighbor better fix it this fall.

My brother's girlfriend posted pictures of their post-hurricane flooded backyard. Looks like it was really something!

Now my first world problem is that I'm worried I offended someone with my snobbishness about Yuban.

Okay, I think I am beginning to understand from context what a first world problem was. I am so slow sometimes, it really annoys others who know me IRL but I have always known I am slow in certain areas. So what I am understanding is that we live in the first world and our problems are different from people in the third world (problems like starvation, certain diseases, being killed in a tribal war or something) am I right?

Yup! Got it. Putting our problems in perspective.

[AmeriBrit]

Erin, yeah, I think it was L who brought up that site about first world problems, which are what you've said above. Petty complaints basically.

Wasn't it L that also told us about that web site called stuff white people like. I'll have to check that one out again for a laugh.

[AmeriBrit]

Myles, I don't even know what that was you were talking about in your post. The only coffee I know is decaf or regular! Lol. We don't drink much of the stuff around here. I occasionally have a latte when i'm out with the British friends and feel the need to fit in.

[Gwenn]

My sister and her kids are still at my parents' house, but my BIL flew back to NY and got home yesterday afternoon. He has a CPAP machine that he uses for sleep apnea and my sister was convinced that the power would go out from the hurricane and he wouldn't be able to breathe because of the machine. I kept trying to explain to my sister that he would wake up if he couldn't breathe and she kept saying, "what about people who get drunk and drown in bathtubs? They don't wake up?" I pointed out they were drunk. I don't know if she believed me or not (we had a lot of laughter at the mental image of him lounging in the bathtub, drinking a pina colada, hooked up to his cpap machine) but really it would be very hard to override the instinct to breathe, wouldn't it? What do you think, L?

[3andMe]

Yes, Erin, it's a problem that we might have, living in the first world, but when you look at what people in other countries have to face, it appears really petty. If we acknowledge that it's a first world problem, at least we are giving a little bit of a nod to the fact that it IS a silly problem in the face of such major problems as starvation and homelessness and genocide.

According to urban dictionary:

First world problems. Problems that only happen to people who reside in the first world.
My GPS ran out of batteries and I misplaced the Ambien, I have FWP.

And don't worry about not realizing what it is. I utilize urban dictionary and know your meme quite often just because I haven't a clue as to what's going on.

[3andMe]

My sister and her kids are still at my parents' house, but my BIL flew back to NY and got home yesterday afternoon. He has a CPAP machine that he uses for sleep apnea and my sister was convinced that the power would go out from the hurricane and he wouldn't be able to breathe because of the machine. I kept trying to explain to my sister that he would wake up if he couldn't breathe and she kept saying, "what about people who get drunk and drown in bathtubs? They don't wake up?" I pointed out they were drunk. I don't know if she believed me or not (we had a lot of laughter at the mental image of him lounging in the bathtub, drinking a pina colada, hooked up to his cpap machine) but really it would be very hard to override the instinct to breathe, wouldn't it? What do you think, L?

You can buy back-up batteries for most of them, and he can still breathe if the CPAP stops working, just might revert back to short periods of apnea like before having it.

http://my-life-and-sleep-apnea.blogs...turns-off.html

[Gwenn]

You can buy back-up batteries for most of them, and he can still breathe if the CPAP stops working, just might revert back to short periods of apnea like before having it.

http://my-life-and-sleep-apnea.blogs...turns-off.html

That's what we were trying to tell her. My parents both use one and said if theirs have stopped working, they just wake up. My sister refused to believe that it would happen in his case.

[missychrissy]

Glad everyone is doing okay who is near the path of the hurricane/tropical storm. Stay safe!

Erin

How was it for you? Didn't it first hit near where you are? (relatively speaking) The wind did pick up some, but it's not the 50-60 mph winds they feared might happen. I don't know how to judge wind speed, but I'd just call it consistently breezy. Of course it's still raining so I'm really not in the mood to take care of some much needed house cleaning.

That's what we were trying to tell her. My parents both use one and said if theirs have stopped working, they just wake up. My sister refused to believe that it would happen in his case.

She's probably just worried about him. It's funny how otherwise intelligent people can get an irrational fear in their head and no matter what kind of logical convincing anyone tries to throw at them, they still refuse to let go of their fear. I know I've done that myself at times.

My own first world problem is that we have very little data connectivity in our bedroom on our new cell phones. If I sit up I get great signal, but I want to browse Facebook while laying down before dozing off.

[demigraf]

.

My own first world problem is that we have very little data connectivity in our bedroom on our new cell phones. If I sit up I get great signal, but I want to browse Facebook while laying down before dozing off.

I had the same FWP, solved by enabling the wi-fi on my phone and, when that still wasn't strong enough, putting in a wi-fi repeater. Now I can chat with you girls horizontally.

[Gwenn]

She's probably just worried about him. It's funny how otherwise intelligent people can get an irrational fear in their head and no matter what kind of logical convincing anyone tries to throw at them, they still refuse to let go of their fear. I know I've done that myself at times.

My own first world problem is that we have very little data connectivity in our bedroom on our new cell phones. If I sit up I get great signal, but I want to browse Facebook while laying down before dozing off.

I have that same first world problem! I can get online inconsistently from my iPad in bed, although it got better recently.

As far as my sister goes, she is like that constantly and with everything. I really think she needs help but when she asks people about it (like a psych acquaintance she knows) she minimizes it to the point they tell her it's normal anxiety which is what she wants to hear. So she never does get help.

She still orders for her 16 year old in a restaurant. When she was 14 I was told when B goes out with her friends, she can only get water because her mom isn't there to check the menu for foods she might be allergic to. She has a milk allergy that causes GI issues like mine and is not life threatening. The two times we've gone to a restaurant since they've been here I watched her order for both her children.

[3andMe]

That is pretty bad, Gwenn.

When I was 15 I was on a 3-month tour of Europe by myself. I probably won't be quite that free with my children, but I really want them to be self-sufficient and be able to problem-solve. Although I had my share of difficulties on that trip, I am very grateful for it and attribute of lot of my general coping and organization skills to that.

When we were in college, my roommate had a flat tire and decided she would wait until her dad came to visit so he could change it for her. I told her I could show her how to change it and we could do it together, and she said no thanks, and she said her father would probably appreciate feeling needed in any case. Now, at 41, she still doesn't have a real job and is living with someone her father's age who is paying for her rent and living expenses.