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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #21901

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    Hugs, Myles. I'm so sorry about your friend, and the crazy youtube guy relationship.

    I was going to quote your celebrity story but since you're going to delete it I didn't. I just wanted to say your comment about him blocking your way made me snort.

  2. #21902
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    Myles, i'll make sure to shout at him tonight for you. Something along the lines of, "dude, you blocked my friend from the food table once, you silly silly caricature!" I'm on my phone so can't type much, so i'll try to post later on everything else that's been talked about! Xoxo.

  3. #21903
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    Oh Myles, how awful for your friend I'm so sorry.

    I Slash. He can get in my way any day of the week. Or night.

    Erin, I forgot to respond to your dh's idea about urban farming. I think that sounds awesome! How would that work? Would it just be for you guys, or would he grow stuff to sell? How big is the property that is for sale at $2,000? I've heard of urban farming but really don't know a whole lot about it. It sounds intriguing...but, how would you keep people out of your corn? (or whatever you grow!)

    I'm back to work. Yay. I think. My bus ride is 25 minutes longer now.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #21904
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    Oh, my payment went through but I have to call tonight when I get home and verify that it didn't trigger us going back into foreclosure.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #21905
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I just popped on before leaving for work and I saw two other spammers that I deleted and banned, but probably not the one you guys are talking about. I have been spending most of my very limited APA time dealing with spammers. If you see one, you can always click on the little red triangle with the vertical line through it in the upper right hand corner of the post, and it will notify all of the mods immediately. You can do that with a spam post, an abusive post, or anything that you think is getting out of hand that you think we should know about. Just make a note. Whoever is available will try to take care of it.

    ===

    Glad to hear that your payment went through, Chrissy.

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    Love the new name, Katy. Mine changed when I was on vacation, too. Your pictures were awesome. And I know you don't feel that great about yourself right now, but I think you look stunning.

    ===

    If you guys didn't see my vacation pictures in NM, here is my link: http://blog.lyds.org/2011/07/23/our-...ip-to-wyoming/

    ===

    Mylah, your celeb story made me crack up, too. Even without the actual story, you have a way with words. We have some awesome writers in this section, I believe. I'm sorry to hear about the loss, sadness, and soul-searching you've been experiencing, though. I have a particularly bad ex that whenever he comes up I tell dh "Have I ever mentioned I'm so glad I married you?" Even when we're at our worst, I can say without a moment's hesitation he's a million times better than the guy I almost married.

    ===

    Kate, I would not bring up the possible stain. If it was a dark blue bar stool, just forget about it. It is more likely to be awkward than any putative stain if you bring it up. Now, just try to erase it from your mind.

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    Erin, aside from the coolness of the urban farming, how incredibly awesome is it that your single email and innovative idea and ability to speak up landed you such a great raise?!? Congrats to you! And wtg to your company for recognizing and promoting skill.

    ===

    Bridget, I'm adding my voice to the chorus and saying you've been working hard enough for long enough and you should take the time and enjoy spending time with your children.

    My dh has been occasionally asking when I can start going back to work full-time, but he doesn't do any housework except repairs when things need fixing or washing up after the dinner dishes. So I started adding up how much time I spend doing things, and I got to 7 1/2 hours weekly just on grocery shopping, cooking dinner, menu planning, and sweeping, mopping, and cleaning the kitty litter. I didn't get to bill paying, laundry (1-2 loads daily), bathrooms, yard work, unloading the dishes, or cooking any other meals besides dinner. I don't know if this is a good exercise for me to do or not, but if I present him a breakdown of my time and tell him I'd like him to split it with me if I start working more, I have a feeling it will go one of two ways--either he'll start crossing things off the list saying they're not necessary or can be decreased, or he'll stop asking for a while. Or maybe I should just leave it alone and wait until he asks again, because it just might make me depressed.


  6. #21906

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    Lydia! (It's going to be hard for me to stop calling you that) What a great idea. I'm going to do that as well. Factoring in childcare costs alone would probably have dbf's eyes crossing.

    How did you guys manage to change your username? I've sent 2 messages to admin in the past 4 weeks and nothing! It's the Admin you find under the member list right?

  7. #21907

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    Thanks for the tip about the thing you can click..I think I knew that at one time but forgot.
    Yeah when I changed mine I just sent a PM to Admin. I think it's MarchMommy? Is that right? So if she's busy she might not get to it quickly.

    So my new thing is when Josh misbehaves I have him sit on an empty spot on the floor in the living room. It's not going really well. He tries to inch closer to toys or get up or he refuses to sit at all. When I ask him to sit on the floor I ask him a couple times and then I go to him and physically pick him up and put him on the floor. This royally pisses him off and he accuses me of pushing him (which I do not), he flies at me and scratches, kicks, and hits. Basically becomes the royal terror that I never imagined would be my child, haha. When he finally does get on the floor and sits there for a few minutes he's back to normal. But basically we have been arguing about everything. Over the weekend I was not well at all and I wanted to lie down on the couch one morning when I woke up with him at 6 and he refused to move. Other times he will say something quietly or something that could be taken two ways and when I ask him to say it again or if I do something wrong he immediately flies into a rage and attacks me. It seems like the only times he's completely happy is if we're not interacting with each other. Which is why I've been on the computer a lot lately (I don't know if you've noticed). He seems to enjoy my company and even wants to cuddle right after we have a disagreement but if I try to talk to him or do something with him he shuts down and if I make one wrong move he becomes enraged.

  8. #21908

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    double post
    Last edited by daylilies; 07-25-2011 at 11:38 AM.

  9. #21909

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    Can you guys tell that I sometimes am only caught up to the previous page before I start typing? I'm sorry about that, since it then looks like I am completely ignoring important stuff that you're talking about.

    Bridget, what a spectacularly sucky way to end your awesome day. Your DBF reminded me just now of "There's a Wocket in My Pocket" --- I'm sure you read it, how the kid is taking the reader through all those awesome creatures that live in his house with him, but then there's that "Bofa on the Sofa... him I could do without". LOL. I'm sorry he spoils the fun.

    Katy, cool pictures. I'm sorry I missed the link before. it looked cold! And you look fantastic. I don't know what you're going on about with being unhappy about your weight and such. You and your hubby make a handsome couple. I do understand always wanting to change something about the way you look, because I can be that guy too.

    3andMe, thank you for the compliment on my writing. I used to want to be a writer, among a million other things I tried. I just dug up some old travel essays from when I went to Rarotonga for my 30th b'day. I'll share them with y'all if you're interested. They make me smile. I was so much more fun back then.

  10. #21910

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    Katy, welcome back and I love the pics!

  11. #21911

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    So my new thing is when Josh misbehaves I have him sit on an empty spot on the floor in the living room. It's not going really well. He tries to inch closer to toys or get up or he refuses to sit at all. When I ask him to sit on the floor I ask him a couple times and then I go to him and physically pick him up and put him on the floor. This royally pisses him off and he accuses me of pushing him (which I do not), he flies at me and scratches, kicks, and hits. Basically becomes the royal terror that I never imagined would be my child, haha. When he finally does get on the floor and sits there for a few minutes he's back to normal. But basically we have been arguing about everything. Over the weekend I was not well at all and I wanted to lie down on the couch one morning when I woke up with him at 6 and he refused to move. Other times he will say something quietly or something that could be taken two ways and when I ask him to say it again or if I do something wrong he immediately flies into a rage and attacks me. It seems like the only times he's completely happy is if we're not interacting with each other. Which is why I've been on the computer a lot lately (I don't know if you've noticed). He seems to enjoy my company and even wants to cuddle right after we have a disagreement but if I try to talk to him or do something with him he shuts down and if I make one wrong move he becomes enraged.
    Kate, I have a feeling you might have just described Bodhi in a few years. My son, as much I love the little guy, is becoming more and more demanding and defiant. If I tell him not to step on my toes, he steps on them. Everything that doesn't go his way seems to make him fly into a fit. And he does get very frustrated with me to the point where he gives me this look that makes me feel like he truly dislikes me. It's hard not to take it personally, I know. I just keep trying to tell myself that he's going through his own version of menopause right now - little boy-o-pause, we'll call it. And as much I can, I try to get him out into a field or big sandy stretch of beach where it's safe and encourage him to just run, run, run off all that energy. Do you think it's possible that Josh is demanding more stimulation from you because he's bored? Would he perhaps interact differently if you were playing a game he really liked with him or something? I am just throwing that out there, but to be honest, I feel very "all out of ideas" quite often. Hang in there, mama!

  12. #21912

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    I should also add that even after Bodhi has run, run, run all that energy off, it's typically a battle to get him back into the carseat. He always wants to crawl into the back cargo area or into my drivers' seat. I know it's just a matter of giving him the proper transition... like, he won't fight me about getting into the carseat if he's excited about whatever thing is coming next. It's exhausting to have to always sell him on the next activity, and it's so hard when the next activity is just dinner or getting into the bath. So tough! I feel like I need to outsmart him on a regular basis these days. However, I will say that it's rewarding to have a tantrum-free day where I feel like I actually got him to do the things I wanted him to. This motherhood gig is not for the faint of heart.

  13. #21913

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    It could be that he's bored. I have very low energy and I don't mind taking him to the park or beach or zoo or even going out in the yard but it's been so hot and last time we went to the beach he got bored after an hour. There weren't any little kids playing around him or anything he wanted to do and the water was full of seaweed and gross. Not that he'd want to go in the ocean anyway but he could at least play near the water if it wasn't nasty. People were complaining about it.

    Something's wrong with him again today...he's been asleep for the last couple hours. He might have gotten whatever I got last weekend. I hope not though...that really sucked

    I have picked up a game, craft book and edible science kit over the last couple days and I look forward to trying some things with him.

  14. #21914

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    Oh and the woman I just met loves to make cupcakes (those insanely creative ones that look like animals and other stuff) and she offered that the next time the guys hang out I can come over with Josh and we can all decorate cupcakes

  15. #21915

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    You had me at cupcakes.

  16. #21916

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    Haha...I'm not a big sweets person but it'll be fun to do and Josh and she can eat them all

  17. #21917
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    Katy, fabulous pictures!

    Myles, I can't believe I missed a Slash story! I agree with Chrissy, he can get in my way anytime...

    Your story about the psychotic YouTube ranter brought back some memories for me. I had a very unhealthy, what might loosely be termed "relationship" with a very charismatic potential felon back in the day. When it was good, it was very very good. And, like the little girl with the curl, when it was bad it was horrid. (Does anyone other than me know that rhyme?) I'm trying to think over the various relationships I've had and apparently I like bad boys with charisma, DH included. I don't think any of them were psychotic, though. Well, I'm happy to have found my prince as well so I guess I won't question, but I would very much like to know what you've been reading. Or maybe not.

    DH has a totally different kind of charisma than the others, though. The quiet kind. Which I think is even more dangerous. ;)

    Kate, so sorry about Josh. I think Myles gave you some great suggestions.

    Chrissy, ugh about the extra 25 minute commute. No fun at all!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #21918
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    Mmmm...cupcakes. What time should I be there?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #21919

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Oh Myles, how awful for your friend I'm so sorry.

    I Slash. He can get in my way any day of the week. Or night.

    Erin, I forgot to respond to your dh's idea about urban farming. I think that sounds awesome! How would that work? Would it just be for you guys, or would he grow stuff to sell? How big is the property that is for sale at $2,000? I've heard of urban farming but really don't know a whole lot about it. It sounds intriguing...but, how would you keep people out of your corn? (or whatever you grow!)

    I'm back to work. Yay. I think. My bus ride is 25 minutes longer now.

    The lots around here vary from around .25 to .50 acres. The ones we are looking at are probably 1/3 of an acre for $2K. It would be a business and we would sell all the proceeds. SPIN farming is a small farm concept that supposedly allows one to generate an income of up to 50K per year growing vegies and fruits that are in high demand and selling them directly to restaurants or through CSAs to the public or at Farmer's Markets. There is a big demand in this area for organic, locally grown food and DH would like it to be organic so he can get into the Morningside (rich neighborhood) Farmer's Market, which is exclusive and only sells organic produce from no further than 200 miles away.

    And keeping people out of the corn is DH's biggest fear LOL! He has been thinking of doing this for a while but he is afraid someone will try to steal his crops and he will go ape crazy on them! Next door to us is a vacant house that is going through some legal dealings with the city. We are hoping they will eventually sell it for back taxes and we can get it for the taxes which are less than 2K. DH would like to demo it and plant crops right next to our house. But I think demolishing a house wouldn't be cost effective since demo is VERY expensive. It would probably be 20K to demo it, so I suggested he get a plot and fence it in with a 6' fence and barbed wire. He said he would still be paranoid though and would want to sit out there all night to make sure nothing happens.

    But I am going to look into the land for him because I do think he would be good at it and he has always been good at gardening. He can start small just for us at first to see how it goes.

    Thanks for the congrats 3andMe. I am excited at the new promotion and especially the new money. I am also getting a new boss though and am nervous about that. They moved my old boss to another department.

    I love both your and Katy's pics. Very gorgeous! Makes me think I need to go somewhere. I haven't been anywhere besides Ohio this year and Ohio isn't anywhere really to me.

    And Myles, I also frequently just read back the current page, maybe the previous if there is only 2-3 post. I feel bad about it sometimes too and will go back and read them even after I posted something just to know what is going on LOL!

    Erin

  20. #21920
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    Erin, couldn't he get security cameras set up? That way if anyone did steal his crops he would have them on camera doing it.

    I'm sorry I didn't congratulate you on your promotion earlier ... so much to respond to and everything gets lost. That is really amazing and I'm glad they recognized your potential.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #21921
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    Kate that just makes me so sad We've gone through periods like that with Conner too. It's extremely frustrating. Patience and consistency are so terribly difficult. And I agree with Myles, it is a constant mental battle and I know I often feel like I'm coming out the loser with Conner.

    Erin, that urban gardening sounds so exciting. There must be ways of keeping people out of the crops though, or else how would anyone make a profit? I'm not sure if demolishing a house in order to put in crops would allow it to be considered organic though. I know in NY it's very strict (I'd assume each state was the same?) and if the land had been used for even a cow pasture it cannot be certified organic for at least 3 years, and then the soil has to be tested and it has to pass. Not sure what the qualifications are exactly, but I've heard it's pretty stiff. I looked into it briefly when we considered staying out in Candor and had the 3 acres. Where that trailer was had been a field, but it had been over 6 or 7 years so in that regard I knew we were good.

    Anyway, it just makes me wonder how difficult it would be to get certified organic if an actual house had been on that land. Or maybe GA isn't as strict?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #21922
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I'm sorry I didn't congratulate you on your promotion earlier ... so much to respond to and everything gets lost. That is really amazing and I'm glad they recognized your potential.
    And this! Congratulations Erin!!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #21923
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    Ugh, DH drives me insane sometimes ... really just insane. He keeps getting into arguments with me about things we both know I know more about than he does and refusing to listen to my answer. The other night he refused to believe me that a psychiatrist was a medical doctor. He got really mad at me because "I was talking to him like he was stupid." This was for saying "No, a psychiatrist is a medical doctor. They write MD after their names." Seriously, I read reports from doctors all.the.time. This is not a matter of opinion or debate, it's fact. He went back to his computer and about 5 seconds later (the time it would take to type that into google) announced he was going to bed and stalked out of the room. That was a couple of nights ago and I was PISSED. Then just now for some reason we started talking about learning disabilities and he said he had a hard time accepting people saying their kids had learning disabilities sometimes because they didn't have a physical basis. I pointed out that learning disabilities can result in physical differences in the brain that can be seen on MRI scans. So he said, well, I know what you mean, but not things like dyslexia. I said "Specifically dyslexia." Because there have been a boatload of studies done with dyslexia. That's actually something one of my professors was looking closely at when I was in grad school. Then he announces that he doesn't know why I keep doing this to him, but he was going to take the high road and not argue with me about it. Dude - you know this is my profession. Seriously, what do you expect? Am I just supposed to sit there and tell him he's right because he's the male? ARGH! The thing is, most of the time he's not like that at all, so I just don't get why he does this.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #21924

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    Wow, that is almost laughable that he would argue with you about something that is so specifically your area of expertise! What is about some people that cannot admit when they are wrong or just don't know?

  25. #21925
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    I know. That's what it comes down to in the end. I am wrong, you are right. Why is it people just can't say that even when they know it's the truth?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #21926

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Wow, that is almost laughable that he would argue with you about something that is so specifically your area of expertise! What is about some people that cannot admit when they are wrong or just don't know?
    DH does that. Less so now but when he was younger he openly admitted to making stuff up to sound smart. I think it backfired most of the the time because I for one could usually tell when he was BSing but he seemed so convinced with himself that he would have fooled someone who didn't know any better.


    I've missed a lot lately too...I apologize. Erin got a promotion? Congrats!

  27. #21927

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    And this! Congratulations Erin!!!
    From me too!!!

    Thanks for the kind words regarding my weight. I am feeling rather awful today about it. It's mainly my gut and my arms - I haven't been able to get control of either of those areas since I had JoJo - it feels just hopeless right now. Didn't help to have a girl at the airport on our way to Chile ask about my "baby bump" I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it really does.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #21928
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    Looking like grandma is being put into hospice care for the copd. She's not my grandma so I don't have a strong relationship with her but I do care about her. And I really wish that there was more I could do for MIL.....her brothers are not being the most useful, her dad is like 90 and isn't 100% there anymore (he's pretty good but still not totally there). Everyone just keeps expecting and pulling at her because "she's the girl". DH and I will be going to see her sometime this weekend I think.

    Erin, that garden sounds cool! I got excited just getting four heads of broccoli, a cucumber and a green pepper so far. LOL

    Mandy, that is stupid of him to argue with that when it's your area. I'm lucky in that mine doesn't usually do that to me....he knows if I'm saying I'm sure of something, I'm right. And when I tell him that the couch will fit in that spot and he says it won't....and it doesn't (I'm horrible with spatial skills), I will say ok fine, you were right.

    On past relationships....I don't really have much there. Before DH I had like 2 actual boyfriends that last 6 weeks or less and a couple guys that lasted a few dates or less. But I was only 19 when started dating. I don't even remember their full names! Never been attracted to the bad boy either....I like them nerdy and smart. I thought it was so hot that DH was on the chess club in high school and competed at state for it. I don't like to play myself but LOVED that he did.....and than he told me that he liked to program games for his graphing calculator for fun and I was sold. Add in that he loved reading as much as I do and was the same as me politically.....and it was a perfect match. I even liked that he was a mama's boy....thank god I love his mom too!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #21929
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    double post
    Last edited by Cosmosmom; 07-25-2011 at 03:03 PM.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #21930

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    I definitely went through some bad boyfriends - it is painful for me to even remember them most of the time. I was such a mess in my 20's. I am still a mess, but I try not to let is show so much.

    I'm sorry about your dh's grandmother, Jennifer.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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