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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #21241
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    Oh and I just this week finished the Hunger Games Trilogy.....OMG, it was FANTASTIC. It's been a long time since I read something that good and moving and I couldn't put down. And I first heard about it here!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #21242
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    So I posted this in TTC because they were all talking about those prediction sites. I said what the heck and ordered one too. This is what I posted. I wanted to see if she would say what most want to hear....there is a baby coming in the near future. But what I got back was not positive by most standards.....though for me this is ok. when we have the home visit, we will be shelling out almost 5K....this is non-refundable. If you shell it out and get pg, you do not get the money back but you will be put on hold until after the baby is born and all your stuff will need to be updated. And I'm at the point where I am invested in the idea of adoption and would almost prefer to not get PG (in some ways easier and some ways not). Plus it's looking like I think that I will be able to get adoption assistance through work which doesn't start until Jan 1 2012.....think that I will get that unless we got a super fast placement.


    Did this for fun and $15 is something I can easily afford. All she has was my first name and last name and DOB. When you search me on google, nothing comes up that is about me....seems there is some kind of actress with my name. My email is nothing like my ID on here and my FB is totally private.
    We are no longer trying for a baby and just not preventing....we have moved on to adoption but since our IF is unexplained, there is still that slight chance that maybe in the back of your mind. And we should be done with the home study and be on the adoption books in the next month or so. I have always had a feeling that it would take 1-2 years before we get matched with a birth mom....which would be ok because gives us a little more time to get the money together for the adoption without depleting our savings. Money is a big deal to us and she did nail that pretty good that we have just started feeling really comfortable in life.


    Hi Jennifer,

    When I gain a connection to you there is a few guiding energies that you have that come forward to help me through this reading. I am shown right away that you and your partner have bother always wanted children, there is a female energy who is insisting that this is going to be a tough time for you and your husband, especially over the next year or so if you are trying to conceive. I sense that it is going to be a long period of time until a baby comes for you.

    I don't like to relay what I am not 100% sure of Jennifer but usually if a baby is going to be conceived soon, I will see them as an infant energy and I don't see any energies around you like this. This is my indication that if you are trying for one, it is going to take a lot longer than you are hoping for. I don't like to look that far into the future, the distant future is one of those things that no one can predict with certain accuracy. If your family is going to grow, it won't be for another year at the very least. All though I do hope I'm wrong, which has happened before. I will be praying for your positive pregnancy test.

    Your energies are indicating that you will have a lot of focus on your career come next year and this leads me to believe that if you are trying to conceive now, you may stop for a little while and turn your attention on your career. They show me that you and your husband are success seekers, more your husband than you but I do sense that you have all ready put your focus on a career pathway.

    I think that next year will be one full of opportunities, your energies are indicating that you and your husband are just starting to get a little comfortable in life and that a baby will come later. I do think eventually you will see your family grow, I just can not be 100% sure of an exact time for you because it does seem to be in the distant future.

    I'm sorry, I know this is not what you were hoping to hear Jennifer, I will be praying you get your baby a lot sooner than later and I wish you and your family many happy and healthy years ahead.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #21243
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    We HAD to by law cremate my uncle last fall. At least I'm pretty sure it was required by law. He had AIDS...for over 20 years though it was his heart that gave out. What we were able to do was place his ashes with his mom (who was murdered when she was only 34 yrs old....believe uncle was only like 18 at the time). He has a headstone or something I think....we are going to go visit Saturday which would have been his 60th birthday.


    Everyone I know wants to be cremated. MIL and my mom specifically told me to NOT stick them in a box and have a viewing because they don't want to be stared at, especially when the place will probably mess up their hair and makeup. I promised both them we wouldn't do it....DH is an only child so for sure his mom will be up to us and I only have my sister who will do whatever I tell her.
    I don't know if it varies by state or if it is Federal, but last I heard just because you have AID's doesn't neccesarily mean that you have to be cremated. I'll have to look into some more to be sure though

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #21244
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    Jennifer- Wow I am actually impressed to read one of those that is not all rosey, happy, you will get pg any day.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  5. #21245

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    Are you happy with that reading Jennifer or do you feel she was too negative?

  6. #21246

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    The swimming lesson did not go as well today. He was not into it and basically clung to my neck the whole time. I stayed patient with him and didn't make him do anything. The teacher tried to encourage him to participate but he just was not feeling it today.

    We went to the outdoor pool afterward and he went in for a few minutes, then we went home.

  7. #21247
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    Aw Kate, what a bummer

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #21248
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Jennifer- Wow I am actually impressed to read one of those that is not all rosey, happy, you will get pg any day.

    That is kind of what surprised me. Because if it had, I would have been very suspicious. I mean you don't try for over 4 years with nothing, not a single chemical, not a miscarriage....nothing and still expect it to happen any day now. Which is why we moved on. And I really don't see any way that she could have linked that to me...my FB is private, I didn't use anything that would link me to the account here and well not like Jennifer isn't a super common name. Even googling myself, I don't see anything linking to me except on speko or whatever that site is and half the stuff they have is wrong.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #21249
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Are you happy with that reading Jennifer or do you feel she was too negative?
    I'm fine with it and felt it was realistic. I don't expect that this point to end up pg and have always thought adopting would take a year or two.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #21250
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    That is kind of what surprised me. Because if it had, I would have been very suspicious. I mean you don't try for over 4 years with nothing, not a single chemical, not a miscarriage....nothing and still expect it to happen any day now. Which is why we moved on. And I really don't see any way that she could have linked that to me...my FB is private, I didn't use anything that would link me to the account here and well not like Jennifer isn't a super common name. Even googling myself, I don't see anything linking to me except on speko or whatever that site is and half the stuff they have is wrong.
    I can't imagine how frustrating it is for it to be unexplained I still think it is amazing that your adopting I really really hope to be able to foster one day, if I can get DH to warm up to the idea.
    How is your portfolio coming along??

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  11. #21251
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I can't imagine how frustrating it is for it to be unexplained I still think it is amazing that your adopting
    I couldn't agree more Jennifer. I probably don't say it often enough, but I'm very hopeful, excited and proud of you. I'm sure we'll all shed tears of joy once you do finally get your little bundle

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #21252
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    I can't imagine how frustrating it is for it to be unexplained I still think it is amazing that your adopting I really really hope to be able to foster one day, if I can get DH to warm up to the idea.
    How is your portfolio coming along??
    Adoption just felt a lot more right to us than going through IF treatments. I did try a few rounds of clomid (and my DH was one of the first clomid babies in our state!) but I ovulate so that didn't help any. I guess that there is a chance my tubes are blocked....I never did bother to get the HSG because I was kind of scared, didn't want to pay for it, and we knew that we weren't going to do IVF anyway if they were blocked. Plus I have never had any pelvic infections or STDs that are the high risk factors for blockage. I do have insurance but lab work is subject to deductible and than I cover 20%....HSG a couple of years ago was running like 1400.
    Every other test we had run though was fine.

    I also have three adopted cousins...one is older and lives in CA so I don't really know him. The other two were adopted out of foster care...my aunt and her partner got them as babies and adoption was final at age 2 for one and 18 months for the other. And I know in my family that they are seem just the same as if my aunt had given birth to them.

    Portfolio is coming along. I have a page I will finish tonight and I am hoping to get it finished this weekend when I'm with my mom and my sister. I have a few paperwork things like left writing up the fire plan...easy in my house as it's a ranch so basically every room is go out the door or the window.
    And I need to write the dear birth mom letter. This is a one page letter with our family picture that will tell them about us....and based off this letter, if they want to see our portfolio or not. Once that is finished, the home visit can happen and we can get on the books. I think that the agency has something like 8-10 offices in my state.....they work with birth and adoptive families and only in state.

    My DH would not be on board with foster care. We thought about but that REALLY takes a special person when there is a chance the child could be placed back into a home that you know isn't as good as you can provide. My aunt I think got very lucky with my cousins....she got two babies and got to keep both of them.

    At least we know once the rights are terminated in court and we take baby home with us....that is going to be our baby forever. (we are not bring baby home from hospital...that in my state is a legal risk and the birth parents can change their minds....instead the agency uses a bridge care home for a few weeks until the court date happens).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #21253
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I couldn't agree more Jennifer. I probably don't say it often enough, but I'm very hopeful, excited and proud of you. I'm sure we'll all shed tears of joy once you do finally get your little bundle
    I know I will

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #21254
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    I understand how you feel regarding the IF treatments Jennifer. My insurance doesn't cover anything infertility related so it all would've been out of pocket. If the Clomid hadn't of worked adoption would have been next. If it wasn't for DH's deep seeded need to try for a biological child I could've done without it all together. I never want to put myself through that again and really hope that we can adopt one day.

    We don't have the financial ability to adopt from a birth mother So foster care would be the only chance for us to find a child to add to our family. DH is worried that he wouldn't be able to handle letting them go, if they went back to there parents. Which I understand, but its something I've always felt in my heart I needed to do. So I really hope he comes around when N is older.

    I guess I honestly never realized how much was truely involved in the birth mother-adoption process. I really hope that a birth mother falls in love with your letter and portfolio early on and you get placed with an LO sooner rather than later Will you have a relationship with the birth mother throughout the pregnancy? Is it going to be an open or closed adoption?

    Just tell me to shut my trap if I'm being too nosey I really do think it is a beautiful thing that you are doing and I can't wait until you get to add to your family

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  15. #21255
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    Wow, I have missed a lot! I went to bed at 7 last night; I was so exhausted! Any how!

    Your posts on the composted dog made me smile. I want to be cremated as does my Rich; I want my ashes scattered all over England and Arkansas in the places I have lived...I want Rich & my ashes to be mixed together before they're scattered though so that we're together forever...lol

    I have a lot to do tonight; I have to prepare a lesson on division to teach to some 10 year olds tomorow, find my high school diploma to send off to get the UK board to certify its British compatibility, iron and wash up....ack, I better get to it!

  16. #21256
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    Christina,
    Nope not too nosey. It really is easier to have a baby yourself but now that I have done THIS much work, adoption sounds easier. (it's been stacks of paper, 5 days worth of classes, full medical exams, autobiographies, getting vet records, financial info) Most today are open and in fact we had to agree to it for the agency to work with us. But it's left at what works best for both families...some are very open, some not as open. In Wisconsin, the open agreements are not legally enforceable so if we determine it's not in the best interest of our child, we can cut things off. Of course we hope to not have to do that....they say that being open is healthiest for the child. And since we will be open, that is why getting a good match is important. If someone is looking for a conservative chrisitan family where the day hunts and fishes....we are not the right family.
    It sounds like in most cases, birth families are encouraged to start looking and picking a family for the baby when they are about 6-7 months along. So we generally would have about a 2 month relationship on average before birth. Some go to the hospital for the birth and some adoptive families don't. Depends on what people want and what part of the state you are in. It could take us 5-6 hours to get to some parts of the state in good weather.

    You are still pretty young (21 right?). When I was 21, well I had nothing. Oh my engagement ring that is it. I didn't even have a car since I was in school and only worked like 10 hours a week. Time really makes a huge difference.
    There are two kinds of foster care...there is foster care where the idea is reunification but if that can't happen, you often are given first choice to adopt. Or there are kids who have already been terminated and are ready to go straight for adoption. Often (this changes year to year), there are tax breaks involved in adoption. We did think about doing this but were not ready to deal with the baggage these poor kids can come with and I really really really wanted a little tiny baby (DH could skip baby time and go straight to preschool).
    We just got lucky and found an agency with a good history and reasonable adoptions. There are some variables at the end but we are looking at an average of 15-16K....the biggest chunk is due at the end AFTER we get baby (in many agencies you can pay birth mom expenses and all sorts of money and she can change her mind and you are just screwed out of the money...THAT we were not willing to risk). The other thing we liked is that the agency limits couples on the books....if they average 70-80 adoptions a year, that is about how many couples are on the books. So far it's been a pretty positive experience and I just feel so much better than I did last year when were still trying and stressing and thinking I would never been a mom to something that didn't have a tail. I just know that even if it takes a few years...that is ok and eventually we will get matched with the right baby for us.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #21257
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    Yes 21 I will be 22 on the 4th I am glad that you were able to find a good agency, I know there are alot of shady ones out there I actually think price wise that is very good in comparison to some quotes I have seen! I do know a lady who took money from potential adoptive parents and than decided to keep the baby, it made me want to You just don't do something like that

    It's good that there is some versatility in how open you want the adoption to be. That way you can just work with whatever fits in with you, DH, and the birth mother. It would be alot harder if there were more concrete rules surrounding it. I would love to see pics (once I get my new computer can't see pics on work computer) of your completed portfolio whenever you get done (if you'd like to share that is)

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  18. #21258
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    Jennifer, just to satisfy my curiosity, did you receive your "reading" this morning? I ask because I was up late last night and had posted a thread in random. Just because I'm crazy, when I post a thread I sometimes check the view count to see if anyone is reading it. I had also happened to post something in this thread around the same time so my eye took in the view count on this thread as well. The second time I checked the view count a few minutes later, it caught my eye that the view count on this specific thread had increased by around 100 views (and this was late at night in AZ, like 11:30 or midnight, so more like 3 am on the east coast). I thought I must have been mistaken, so over an hour or so I kept checking the view count in here and it kept going up. At some points it would increase very quickly and at others more steadily but it kept going up and over a couple over hours the post count went up by 300+ views. My thread in random only went to 20 views. It occurred to me that someone must have been reading through the thread, which I'm certain happens, but I can't imagine why someone would have read through 300 pages, and also why sometimes it would increase 10 or so views at a time very rapidly. Makes sense if someone was clicking through the pages and only reading your posts. Don't know if it's coincidental that you got your psychic prediction this morning mentioning your infertility struggles you have described in this thread, but it does seem a little suspicious. The casual reader isn't going to go through 300+ pages in the middle of the night like that.

    Figured it was best to keep this comment in this thread and not the one in TTC.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 06-30-2011 at 08:27 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #21259
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    Sorry, double post.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 06-30-2011 at 08:27 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #21260

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    I thought the view count only goes up for every different IP address that views it.

  21. #21261
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    I don't think so. I noticed in the other thread I posted that if I viewed it a second time, the count went up again.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #21262
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    It would be even creepier if 300 separate people suddenly decided to read this thread in the middle of the night, wouldn't it? That would seriously creep me out.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #21263

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    Weird, maybe that got changed. I don't think it used to do that.

  24. #21264

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    Ahahaha yeah that would be creepy.

  25. #21265
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    Try it out. Check the post count of a thread and view it a few times. It'll go up every time.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #21266
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    Yes I did get it late this morning. I think that it would take a serious hacker to track me here though. Googling my name doesn't lead me here (well I didn't check EVERY google page but certainly not the first couple. I don't use Cosmo as part of my email. there's a number of Jennifers, Jens on this site. I use multiple computers during the day so have multiple IP's. And it wouldn't take looking through all my posts in this thread to get what she said....just looking at my siggie would do that. I do believe in psychics but do think that many are scams and would think one would need to an in person reading for a really good one. I was just really surprised that I didn't get a positive reading that most seem to give.

    Certainly doesn't change my life any or my plans any. I have grown to really like the idea that we are creating our little family via adoption....and it was probably in our favor that we didn't get pg younger.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  27. #21267
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    Jennifer, I know you're taking it in the spirit it's meant and that doesn't worry me. I just really am interested in getting to the bottom of this person, though. I know I'm fb friends with many of you and I sometimes see profile pictures on fb of people that I don't know the name of, but having seen pics they post on here I can put a name to a face without being told who is who. A few secular friends I figured out through fb connections and then later got a friend request from them. So even with a fb set private, someone could figure out through pictures/friend associations who is who over here if she has a connection to someone in the APA community.

    Not a big deal, I'm just curious about the mechanics of how this is all working. Because I don't believe for a second it's coming from a psychic power.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #21268

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    Oh, Gwenn you are freaking me out!

    How do you get a name change? Do you just pm a mod with the name you want to change to?

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  29. #21269

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    Hmm. That is very interesting. Suspicious, indeed, that post jump no matter how you think about it.

    I hit a deer on my way home from dinner tonight. It was just me and Sawyer and I hit the deer, it ran off and I kept driving. It had me shaking. But I just kept driving because it was dark and I was between towns and really, really didn't want to pull over.

    The front of my van is all jacked up.

  30. #21270
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    Oh, no! I feel bad if I hit a mouse. Can't imagine hitting a deer. I hope you and Sawyer are okay.

    Katy, send a PM to "Admin" with a request to change names. It took a day or two for it to happen when I did it but there was no problem about it.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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