Secular Confessions

[Ky'sMom]

I also have a high threshold for pain. I don't complain about being in pain either, like moaning or whining or anything like that. I will just hold out in my room until the pain subsides and if I need to do something I will do it through the pain.

I wanted to laugh in his face when he told me that he couldn't drive because he was in excrutiating pain. He was a butthead after the birth of both of our children and I had 2 c-sections, he did not help me at all with baby care or cleaning up or driving. I was in excrutiating pain at the time and had to deal with taking care of the children and BFing and cooking and picking up Ky from school. Not to mention the fact I had a horrible infection after Elle's birth and had to go on some really strong antibiotic for a few weeks and I was dizzy and felt like I was going to die. He thought I was lying about how much pain I was in because I don't grimace or show it on my face or make big complaints about it. I'll just say it's there. He does all the theatrics.

I am nice though and can understand that he is in some pain so I try to be understanding, but every time I've been in excrutiating pain, I go out of my way to not be a bother to him or blame him for my predicament. And that is what bothers me the most as I am beyond helpful even though I want to roll my eyes out of my head at times at his comments.

He has been better this evening though and got crutches. He did have them schedule him an MRI to see if he tore his miniscus but the doctor didn't think that was what happened. Luckily we don't have to pay for any procedures like MRIs or other scans out of pocket, it will be totally covered so I'm happy we have great insurance for DH.

Also I am not very trusting of doctors and think they are full of crap a lot of times and limit myself to visiting them to once or twice a year. They are always pushing pills and guessing and though I do feel like there is a need for medical care and perscriptions, I just think pills in general are prescribed way too much and that most health concerns (especially stubbed toes) do not require a doctor's visit. Though this has come back to bite me as well since if I had gone to the doctor sooner with my infection, it probably wouldn't have been so bad. They were talking of admitting me to the hospital then.

I like a dentist more than an MD since at least I have extra shiny teeth after seeing them.

Oh, and welcome to the group Simply!!

Erin

[daylilies]

We just got back from a party we were invited to with basically all the moms and kids around Josh's age from church. It was very nice and fun for Josh but being around a lot of well adjusted, smart, well-informed moms who mostly also have careers makes me feel like a total loser.
I know that lurking behind those perfect exteriors they may have screwed up lives just like me but I still felt really out of place and I'm bummed out now because of it.

[Bridget]

Erin I am so in your boat on the opinion of dr's being full of it. I will always try to heal myself before I even consider any type of medication. I use garlic for everything lol. I cannot remember the last time I went to the dr for an illness. Several years at least. I think it was for a spider bite when I lived in Hawaii that was eating away at my skin.

Kate, you are smart and fabulous and your career is raising that young man. Don't sell yourself short, Mama, Those women got nothing on you.

[daylilies]

I didn't mean that not having a career outside the house makes me a loser. It's just...I feel so lost, and it worries me that I still feel this way at this age when women my age or younger seem completely content with where they are, whether it's staying at home or working or doing both. I'm not happy. Being a stay at home mom is driving me insane but I don't know what else I'd be happy doing.

[Bridget]

So just to show you ladies the other side of the picture, here's a concrete example of the way I am that drives dbf mad. I guess I can see how my behavior might be annoying but at least it's not outright rude and hurtful. To me that is the difference.
He cooked fish for dinner tonight. I made the salad and kept the kids busy while he cooked. We all enjoyed the meal and then he asked me if I was going to clean the kitchen since he already cleaned it twice today. He cleaned it this morning and then this afternoon loaded all the daycare dishes. I was holding Sawyer at the time so I said if he could keep Sawyer entertained I'd be more than happy to clean the kitchen. He rolled his eyes and walked to the living room.
So I had Sawyer in a good, playful mood and handed him off to dbf. I emptied the dishwasher and then remembered that our butterflies down in the daycare had started to emerge from their cocoons earlier so I wanted to bring them up to the living room so the kids wouldn't miss it. I came up and we saw 2 of them had emerged. I then walked to the flower garden with Savana to get some petals and her and Kai and I dropped water on them and put them in the butterfly cage.

Then Sawyer got fussy.
And the kitchen was still messy.
So I took Sawyer and he went and cleaned the kitchen.
So that is what he's dealing with over here.

[Smplyme89]

Thanks for the welcome ladies

[The10Eels]

I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

[Gwenn]

I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

Woohoo!

Bridget, I could so see myself doing something similar.

[daylilies]

LOL Bridget.
I drive DH crazy in just as many ways, if not more, as he drives me crazy. I'm "not domesticated", as he likes to put it. I try not to think about that phrase too hard, like what am I, a dog? But I'm horrible at cleaning or picking up clutter, I don't know how to garden to save my life-I tried to weed today and I gave up because I couldn't tell the difference between the weeds and the plants anymore I'm not a natural at anything but cooking, really. That saves me.
Woo Ash! Congrats!

[missychrissy]

Being a stay at home mom is driving me insane but I don't know what else I'd be happy doing.

Kate, I honestly think that you just need to get out and do something...anything! I know for me when I was home all day nothing sounded 'appetizing' when I thought of various careers. It was like I was stuck in a rut, but I couldn't visualize my way out of it. I started as a cashier, went to data entry, then to admin assist. I was laid off from there and that's when I went to school for what I do now.

I know I 'belong' in the computer field, but I'm not sure what direction to go in. I'd like more learning opportunities so I can 'taste' some things. I have a feeling networking is really my thing, but I don't get to do it enough to really know if I'd be good at it. So I just stay put and feel unsatisfied in my job.

So just to show you ladies the other side of the picture, here's a concrete example of the way I am that drives dbf mad. I guess I can see how my behavior might be annoying but at least it's not outright rude and hurtful. To me that is the difference.
He cooked fish for dinner tonight. I made the salad and kept the kids busy while he cooked. We all enjoyed the meal and then he asked me if I was going to clean the kitchen since he already cleaned it twice today. He cleaned it this morning and then this afternoon loaded all the daycare dishes. I was holding Sawyer at the time so I said if he could keep Sawyer entertained I'd be more than happy to clean the kitchen. He rolled his eyes and walked to the living room.
So I had Sawyer in a good, playful mood and handed him off to dbf. I emptied the dishwasher and then remembered that our butterflies down in the daycare had started to emerge from their cocoons earlier so I wanted to bring them up to the living room so the kids wouldn't miss it. I came up and we saw 2 of them had emerged. I then walked to the flower garden with Savana to get some petals and her and Kai and I dropped water on them and put them in the butterfly cage.

Then Sawyer got fussy.
And the kitchen was still messy.
So I took Sawyer and he went and cleaned the kitchen.
So that is what he's dealing with over here.

I dunno Bridget, it's really hard for me to feel sorry for your dbf, although I did try. I couldn't help but feel like he should have been able to deal with Sawyer without you. Then you'd have been free to finish the kitchen.

I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

Happy Day!!!!

Tonight was Bobbie's art show at school. I feel terrible because I had to miss it. We have so much going on this weekend, I decided to do my grocery shopping tonight instead of Saturday. I did go in before it started and saw her exhibit. It was quite something and she won a lot of awards for it.

The neighbor guy finally called me about the pond flowing in our yard. He said he hasn't been up there to see what's going on and wanted to meet us there one evening this coming week to have a gander and talk about things. He also said that we have major drainage issues that need to be dug up and that will cost a lot of money. I don't know for sure what he was getting at. I guess I'll find out next week.

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, I hope he isn't going to try to convince you to shoulder some of the cost for his issue. I'd be a little skeptical.

Oh, and I saw the art show pic on fb. Impressive!

[missychrissy]

That's how I took it too Mandy, that he was insinuating we'd have to pay.

[daylilies]

Ugh...sorry about the neighbor issues Chrissy.
I know...I need to do something! Maybe even just get a job as a cashier at Target or something (hmm...do I get a discount for that?) although at the whopping age of 32, I have never had a cashier job...that may penalize me!
Gosh I wonder if I could get like a teacher's assistant job or a summer camp counselor job without having much experience in that area. Something I can do that I can take Josh with me, because if I have to pay for day care while I'm working, that doesn't really make it worth it. And I really don't want to work nights. Hmm...maybe I can work the day care room at my gym or something.

[daylilies]

Oh and I saw Bobbie's art on FB too! It seemed very sophisticated for her age! Good for her.

[missychrissy]

Ugh...sorry about the neighbor issues Chrissy.
I know...I need to do something! Maybe even just get a job as a cashier at Target or something (hmm...do I get a discount for that?) although at the whopping age of 32, I have never had a cashier job...that may penalize me!
Gosh I wonder if I could get like a teacher's assistant job or a summer camp counselor job without having much experience in that area. Something I can do that I can take Josh with me, because if I have to pay for day care while I'm working, that doesn't really make it worth it. And I really don't want to work nights. Hmm...maybe I can work the day care room at my gym or something.

Now you're thinking!!

My aunt got into teaching head start because her twins were in it and she participated a lot. A teacher aide position became available, and she got that. Through the years she continued on her education till she became the head teacher. It just sorta happened, but she loved it.

Oh and I saw Bobbie's art on FB too! It seemed very sophisticated for her age! Good for her.

Thanks! I wish I could have gotten close-ups of the things she had on the table and dangling down from the ceiling. She had other, smaller paintings (well, one was an 8x10) and she had a series of black and white photos that she took and developed herself. She's so happy tonight. It could make me cry because she never gets what you would call giddy...but she nearly is tonight. Art is really her element.

[The10Eels]

Aww yay Bobbie! I am off to look at the pics on FB

[The10Eels]

So you remember my friend who was getting induced the day after her due date??

They went in on the first, and the hospital had too many people go into labor, so there wasn't a room for them. They came back the next day, and weren't admitted until late in the night. They started the induction yesterday morning, and baby was born by "emergency" c-section at 9:11 pm. 8 lb 13 oz, 21.5 inches long!

[girlwonder]

But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks?

Thanks, Lydia for the tip about Benadryl. I hadn't given it to her before a couple of nights ago when I gave it to her for allergies. I am so weird that I kept worrying because the bottle says not for under age 4, but I found dosage online in several places for under 4. Anyway, I will definitely try it for the next long drive - anything is better than vomit-ville.

I just had a crazy experience today - went to Marshall's for a couple of things and saw they had bathing suits. I have a terrible time with bathing suits because my boobs are too big for most suits and they come squishing out the sides or waaaaaaay too much cleavage for my modesty. So I tried some on just in case and every one I put on fit me perfectly and was really flattering! I ended up getting three swimsuits because if I find ONE that fits I have to buy it, now I found THREE that fit all at the same time. And the three combined cost me less than the one from the specialty bra store that I got last year that doesn't fit all that well at all. I feel super lucky! Maybe I should go to Vegas today!!!

[girlwonder]

I'm sorry for everyone having dh troubles. I have a lot of the same issues with yelling from the other room, or feeling like I am interrupting or nagging. I hope everyone is doing better

[missychrissy]

So you remember my friend who was getting induced the day after her due date??

They went in on the first, and the hospital had too many people go into labor, so there wasn't a room for them. They came back the next day, and weren't admitted until late in the night. They started the induction yesterday morning, and baby was born by "emergency" c-section at 9:11 pm. 8 lb 13 oz, 21.5 inches long!

Congrats to them on the birth of their baby, but ugh about the c-section. You saw that one coming

But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks?

Thanks, Lydia for the tip about Benadryl. I hadn't given it to her before a couple of nights ago when I gave it to her for allergies. I am so weird that I kept worrying because the bottle says not for under age 4, but I found dosage online in several places for under 4. Anyway, I will definitely try it for the next long drive - anything is better than vomit-ville.

I just had a crazy experience today - went to Marshall's for a couple of things and saw they had bathing suits. I have a terrible time with bathing suits because my boobs are too big for most suits and they come squishing out the sides or waaaaaaay too much cleavage for my modesty. So I tried some on just in case and every one I put on fit me perfectly and was really flattering! I ended up getting three swimsuits because if I find ONE that fits I have to buy it, now I found THREE that fit all at the same time. And the three combined cost me less than the one from the specialty bra store that I got last year that doesn't fit all that well at all. I feel super lucky! Maybe I should go to Vegas today!!!

Woo hoo on the great fitting swimsuits!!

As for car sickness, Bobbie suffers from it as well and her dr told her to try to sit where she can always see the horizon-to look as far into the distance as possible. Is Jojo's seat low where she can't see well out the window? I wonder if pointing out distant hilltops or buildings would help?

We went to a graduation party for a girl that I used to babysit when I was 15. I can't believe she's all grown up now! It was so nice seeing all of them again. Too much time has gone by.

[Gwenn]

I suffer from motion sickness on long car trips, and it's true that the only thing that works is to look at the horizon. If I focus on anything inside the car, such as a book, I get sick. But I'm not sure how to explain that to a little one, though, since staring out the window is pretty boring when you're small...long car trips were so awful for me as a child. Listening to music helped. Reading in cars is absolutely the worst thing you can do, which I found out through painful experience since I was a bookworm. I used to read my library books on the way home and by the time we got home I always felt sick to my stomach.

Yay for new bathing suits that fit!

Ashley, that's crazy about your friend. But yay for the new baby.

Has anyone seen a post from Lydia? I don't recall seeing her post since the other night when she was concerned about her DH and I'm worried. Not physically, but emotionally. Thinking of you, Lydia.

[The10Eels]

But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks?

This was another friend... I thought I had posted about this situation too... They posted that they would be inducing on June 1st if baby wasn't born by then, and due date was only May 31....

Anyways.. I got more of the story today, and yeah, I did see the c-section coming, but its not the story I expected.

Everything was going great, and she was dilated to a 7 when she decided that she wanted an epidural. Shortly after the epi was administered they declared that the cord was wrapped around baby's neck, and baby was in distress, so they did the section.


Gotta give some props to my friend though. The momma was really set on breastfeeding, and while she was in recovery the nurses tried to give baby a bottle, and my friend stood up to them and said no.

[The10Eels]

I also confess..

http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/...post1058263025

[missychrissy]

Ouch! I've had the tb test done, but I don't remember what they told me about it. Have you had yours read yet? Did they say anything about it?

[3andMe]

Has anyone seen a post from Lydia? I don't recall seeing her post since the other night. Thinking of you, Lydia.

Oh, I'm here. Thank you for thinking of me. Dh is out of town, so I've been extra busy trying to hold down the fort. He's gone for two out of the next three weeks. And then tonight I had a small dinner party and tomorrow I'm cooking all the food for my mom's birthday brunch, and so every single bit of down time I've had has been spent in food prep and trying to keep the children from killing each other or sending me to the loony bin. I have pie crusts cooling in the kitchen right now for my mom's favorite, strawberry pie.

Claire has been having a terrible day, starting right from the get-go this morning, bursting into tears and flinging herself down on the floor first thing with "My toothpaste doesn't taste good! Wah wah wah!" and it didn't get any better.

[Gwenn]

You're right, no point in rejecting him when he's trying to meet you halfway. But I still hope he can find some way to communicate better with you. My father was like that to a certain extent and my mother had to sit him down at one point and let him know the effect it had on her. To both their credits, it worked and they communicate very well now.

Good luck with all your food prep!

[The10Eels]

Ouch! I've had the tb test done, but I don't remember what they told me about it. Have you had yours read yet? Did they say anything about it?

I had it read while I was there thursday. It was negative.

[missychrissy]

You're right, no point in rejecting him when he's trying to meet you halfway. But I still hope he can find some way to communicate better with you. My father was like that to a certain extent and my mother had to sit him down at one point and let him know the effect it had on her. To both their credits, it worked and they communicate very well now.

Good luck with all your food prep!

This sounds like a good idea.

You must have much better self esteem than I do because I wouldn't be able to handle it if I couldn't just pop out with whatever thought was in my head the moment I thought it. With Rich that is. He's not perfect and certainly has his faults, but man do I need someone I can talk to on a whim and at length. I'd be crushed if he put me off or made me feel like what I had to say wasn't of utmost importance to him. I think I better hug him for that.

[Bridget]

Wow, Lydia. I'm impressed that you can get so much done alone with the 3 children. I always feel like I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off.
I wish things were better in your communications with dh. I don't like that he tells you to gather your thoughts and say what you have to say in as few words possible. That feels disprespectful to me. I'd be inclined to clam up and say nothing.
I hope the brunch goes well.

I have been getting really bad headaches that make me not even be able to see straight. I need to figure out why and fix it. It's just so hard to know.

[missychrissy]

Could they simply be tension headaches? I don't mean to minimize them, but I know when I get stressed about something it sometimes happens to me.