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Thread: Secular Confessions

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    lol @ the bad chicken and bland salad comment... Thats one thing I have to say about my coworkers... when we have meetings, whoever brings food always brings yummy food... (granted, the last two times it was me... lol)

  2. #20192

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    DH's work picnics always suck too...they have crappy food and then they have like organized sports that they want everyone to stay for afterward. I don't know how many people actually stay-DH always skips out after the food.

    And when they do the holiday parties, they go out to a restaurant, but it's always on a weekday night, so nobody can drink as much as they want to.

  3. #20193
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    We don't have holiday parties. Or, I should say John & I don't. When we worked under the English Dept, we got invited to theirs but since they moved us to the whole Arts & Sciences College there are no parties except this one.

    Cornell caters the picnic, but in my experience they don't use the 'good food' for us. I've heard their catering is good. It must depend on what you order, and they order the cheapest for us!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #20194

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    How nice.

  5. #20195

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    And thanks for the comments about Ky's eyes. He actually said he doesn't like the pic because he thinks he looks "like a puppy dog."
    LOL. Of course your big boy doesn't want to look like a puppy dog. Only us grown-ups can appreciate how adorable he is.

    kate, that's cool that there's a new New Kid on the Block.

    chrissy, I hope you're enjoying your bland chicken-like foods at the picnic right now.

    ash, woo hoo for being done with that job! Short timer's disease is my favorite malady.


    katy, I'm so sorry Jojo puked on the ride back. Poor baby! But it must be nice to have your DH recognize how hard your job can be sometimes.

    bridget, how is your brother today? I confess, I feel like I didn't sound concerned enough in my last post about the robbery because I started talking immediately about the time I was robbed at gunpoint. I'm totally working on that. I know I try to share stories from my life in an attempt to be empathetic, but it often just comes off as "me, me, me". So - again, back to you ;) - I hope your brother feels less and less traumatized by the incident. He probably appreciates all the company he can get at the moment.
    Last edited by demigraf; 06-01-2011 at 11:19 AM.

  6. #20196

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    LOL. Of course your big boy doesn't want to look like a puppy dog. Only us grown-ups can appreciate how adorable he is.

    kate, that's cool that there's a new New Kid on the Block.

    chrissy, I hope you're enjoying your bland chicken-like foods at the picnic right now.

    ash, woo hoo for being done with that job! Short timer's disease is my favorite malady.


    katy, I'm so sorry Jojo puked on the ride back. Poor baby! But it must be nice to have your DH recognize how hard your job can be sometimes.

    bridget, how is your brother today? I confess, I feel like I didn't sound concerned enough in my last post about the robbery because I started talking immediately about the time I was robbed at gunpoint. I'm totally working on that. I know I try to share stories from my life in an attempt to be empathetic, but it often just comes off as "me, me, me". So - again, back to you ;) - I hope your brother feels less and less traumatized by the incident. He probably appreciates all the company he can get at the moment.
    I have that problem too--always sharing my stories in an attempt to relate. I'm working on it too...trying not to share a story every time someone else does.

  7. #20197

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    bridget, how is your brother today? I confess, I feel like I didn't sound concerned enough in my last post about the robbery because I started talking immediately about the time I was robbed at gunpoint. I'm totally working on that. I know I try to share stories from my life in an attempt to be empathetic, but it often just comes off as "me, me, me". So - again, back to you ;) - I hope your brother feels less and less traumatized by the incident. He probably appreciates all the company he can get at the moment.
    Seriously? This is what I think about myself! On the whole board I feel like I'm doing it all the time I wonder if people feel I am trying to make it all about me or if they see that I'm just trying to let them know I totally understand.
    Oh.My.God. I just did it right there!
    I don't think that about you at all, btw. Or you, Kate. I like when people relate to my life because it makes me feel less alone. Not that I'm lonely. Well, maybe a little but I like it that way.
    My brother is doing ok. He says he doesn't want to leave his house but I can understand that. Makes life tough for him since he likes to go to the pub and lives right downtown he walks everywhere so he doesn't have to worry about driving after some drinks. He wonders if this guys, like, stuck around and saw he called the cops and since they pretty much know he lives in that building...but I'd venture to say since there were 6 identical robberies in the same neighborhood that weekend, they are probably long gone. Here's the article. He's the second of the ones they talk about and is really annoyed they didn't mention his Blackberry was stolen. He's a diva, that boy.
    http://m.host.madison.com/mobile/article_1d582d5c-8b8e-11e0-ab35-001cc4c002e0.html

  8. #20198
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I have that problem too--always sharing my stories in an attempt to relate. I'm working on it too...trying not to share a story every time someone else does.
    I feel the exact same way!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #20199

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I have that problem too--always sharing my stories in an attempt to relate. I'm working on it too...trying not to share a story every time someone else does.
    I feel the same LOL .

    Too bad about you ladies that have crappy holiday parties and picnics. I can't relate to that at my current position because my boss goes all out for parties and is really, I guess I should call it high class when it comes to food, parties, locations, etc. Her budget for the Christmas party was $3000 last year they rented a place had food catered by a local seafood restaurant, which is the best in town, and had an open bar. Unfortunately too many people got drunk so the last party we had, we were not suppose to get alcohol, but she broke down and bought 20 bottles of wine so everyone could have a glass at least, that party was at Ted's Montana Grill, Ted Turner's restaurant.

    Erin

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    Well let me talk about me for a minute ;) I've actually felt the same way, but I do appreciate when you ladies share your stories because, like Bridget, then I don't feel so alone. So for whatever it's worth, I do hope you keep sharing your stories with me when you can relate. It does help.

    Your poor brother Bridget. I wish I had some useful advice. It sounds like it's really convenient to live where he can walk everywhere and not need a car, especially after going out, but if he finds that he can't go anywhere due to anxiety, the whole thing might have spoiled it for him.

    The picnic was ok. I grabbed what I thought was a piece of meatloaf (yes, they had the same watery, bland bbq-without-any-flavor chicken but I ignored that) and when I bit into it it tasted like canned Alpo. It turns out it was a veggie burger, but that sucker was huge! Anyway, it was nice to be outside and not have to work for a couple hours.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I feel the same as all of you - I try to share stories then feel like I sound totally self absorbed! How funny we all feel that way! Maybe that's one of the reasons we all get along in here!

    Bridget, hugs to your brother. I hope he recovers emotionally soon. How funny about the blackberry!

    I confess I almost had a panic attack yesterday. Over the last 10 years I've been developing a fearof heights and have no idea where it came from. It started when I went mini golfing and climbed up inside this giant gorilla thing and I freaked out. It was totally unexpected and I had never experienced a panic attack before, and it seemed like such a silly thing to incite that. I had another one at the county fair taking a student of mine on the giant slide and that was really bad because I had a little boy with me who was nonverbal. Yesterday DH and I went to the new REI store here and they had this huge staircase that went up in the middle of the store. 3/4 of the way up the stairs i started to panic and DH had to talk me through it. I was ok, but my breathingwasreally shallow for about 10 minutes. I took the elevator down because I told DH there was no way I could walk down those stairs. I just don't understand where all this came from. I never had a problem with heights before, even at the grand canyon, and that is honestly a little scary. No panic attacks there, though.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 06-01-2011 at 01:10 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #20202

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    That is so odd.

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    Mandy. Are they happening more frequently? I'd be a little worried about them developing from heights-related panic attacks to something else like full blown panic attacks without any noticeable trigger. Maybe you should consult with someone? When I worked in mental health there was one therapist that was wonderful with this sort of thing, but the trouble is it's so hard to find one that's really good like that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    No, they have only ever been associated with heights. Although I've noticed lately when DH is driving if someone ahead of him breaks and he doesn't break until he is closer to them it really bothers me - but that is light years from a panic attack. In the heights situations, I'm talking about light-headed, shallow breathing, out of control, which is different. Do you suppose it's something I need to see someone about? I'm rarely in situations like that so it's not really a quality of life thing.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    No, I don't supposed it's something you need to see someone about if it's not getting more frequent. I do the same thing when I'm near heights, but I always have. Shannon tried to take me to an old Native American sites and the trail was on a cliff edge. I couldn't walk down it. I think I would have been ok by myself, but Conner was on a leash thingy and kept pulling against me. I envisioned the plastic hook breaking and him going over the edge and felt sick, lightheaded, panicky...all that.

    On that trail I was ok except for the issue with Conner, but elevators with glass or really tall interior stairs like the ones you described...no way. I can't do it either. So I avoid them. But if I ever had anxiety without heights, I'd definitely make an appointment.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I can see why that would have been even more scary with Conner there.

    I'm actually fine with glass as long as there is something there for me to touch. This same store yesterday had a glass exterior wall and I went over there to get away from the staircase and I was fine. But I didn't even want to walk close to the stairs. Just bizarre.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  17. #20207
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    That's really the whole of anxiety attacks...they're bizarre. And awful.

    When I was in my late teens (see me talking me me me relating again? ) I had a couple episodes of anxiety attacks that weren't triggered by heights. I'm glad I only had the two. I have a cousin that has them constantly and as such he's agoraphobic.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #20208

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    Sorry about the attacks Mandy I have weird things about heights (and here I go sharing a story )-it's only certain things, but really embarassing such as slides and other things Josh wants me to do with him but I really get anxious about it. He wanted to do this really big bumpy slide at a fair this past weekend and I was shocked he wanted to do it and I didn't want to do it myself! We walked all the way to the top and he changed his mind. I was a little bit relieved!

    It's cracking me up that we're all self-concious about talking too much about ourselves.

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    My mother has had a couple while driving, which is really scary because, well, she was driving. That was years ago, though, and I think it only happened twice. She hates to drive, though, but she still drives and does fine although she's a super-cautious driver.

    DH says he is afraid of heights, but he is a jump master and jumps out of airplanes. He says he doesn't let it stop him despite the fear, but he avoids things like rock climbing which to him is worse than jumping. In his military context, that stuff does come up. I'm not sure he really has the full blown panic but he says he does and won't let it control him. Which, knowing him, may be true. He's the type to have to prove things to himself.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #20210
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    That slide is exactly the one I had a problem with. It's scary.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I have had some full on panic attacks....and did talk to someone at school about them. What she had me doing was deep breathing when I felt one coming on. Each breath in and out should be so deep and so long....about the amount of time it takes to say superkalafragelisticexpialadocious. If I am thinking about the breathing and saying that in my head....I can generally offset a panic attack and get it under control.

    In college I could get them just watching TV on the couch....nothing triggered them. And I wasn't even really stressed...I liked being in college!
    Mostly though I get them in the car and it's related to not being able to get to a bathroom should I need one. I did deal with IBS in college so there is a reason behind that. I am generally ok if I know where we were are and could say get off the freeway if I needed to. But if I'm in full on dead stop traffic jam....that is when I get one. Even if it is slow going, that is ok but the full stop, not good. Dh is good at dealing with me. We found it helps to give me a map to fiddle with or the GPS to fiddle with and start looking for alt routes if we need one.
    That said, we have since driven to NJ and FL from WI and I was fine. And we drive across WI several times a year to visit family.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Can I just say scrapbooking is expensive! I have spent at least $360 and probably over $400 on buying various things like papercutter, die cutter, glues, papers, a punch, some more papers, a few stickers and things.....and it's worse because the adoption agency wants two identical portfolios. I even had to buy scissors as I just had a cheap old pair in the house. I think that I am about done buying supplies though. Just need a few shots of the house outside and print those up and i think that I'm ready to start putting it together. This has been an overwhelming project for someone like me who doesn't have family or friends who do this and could loan some stuff to me.
    and once done, I better think of another crafty project to put that shelf of supplies to some more use!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    You will sooner or later have a beautiful baby to take pictures of and keep a scrapbook for, Jennifer.

    I'm glad you found some strategies that work for your anxiety, Jennifer. If that happened to me at random times like on the couch it would be much harder to deal with.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #20214

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    Mandy, that sounds like it was a particularly frightening few minute for you in the REI store. (I love REI, btw! )

    I've never had a full-blown panic attack. I've been with my sister when she's had them, and she thinks she's dying. She can't drive across bridges anymore because she's afraid she'll get paralyzed with fear from being on one of them.

    I have a (totally untested) theory that all this panic in society comes from overexposure to things that trigger our fight-or-flight response. I mean, stress in the right quantity is a good thing. It's supposed to be our bodies' way of telling us to protect ourselves in the wild. But in modern times, we experience way too many simulated "survival" situations - driving in cars at speeds we were never meant to achieve, swerving in and out of traffic, being able to look down from great heights we would never be able to reach if it weren't for skyscrapers, torture-porn films, too many episodes of CSI... I think it results in a build up of too many stress-related chemicals in our brains, and the result? Anxiety. Maybe our constitutions were only designed to cope with hunting & gathering, walking from tree to tree and the occasional mountain lion attack.

    If I wake up after only having slept for 6 hours the night before, I always get into this half-awake state, where I start having anxiety dreams. I dream my brakes stop working, or I dream of falling onto the train tracks. It's gotten much worse ever since becoming a mom, because I start having horrible dreams about something bad happening to Bodhi. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have those dreams if I didn't have residual stress in my system.

    I'm actually trying to cut down on anything that doesn't involve me sitting cross legged on a mat and meditating.

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I'm actually trying to cut down on anything that doesn't involve me sitting cross legged on a mat and meditating.
    I think that's the solution! I think you're right about stress in our society. Even if it doesn't create panic attacks, we know it isn't good for our bodies or our minds.

    I don't usually share other people's pictures (and I'll feel guilty about this I know) but this is so gorgeous I have to share. My niece and nephew. I love these kids

    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #20216

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    What beautiful eyes your niece has!

    I confess, I felt a little guilty about sharing that pic of Bodhi's little BFF too.

  27. #20217

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    I hope I didn't just cause trouble for myself--
    I heard my cell phone ringing but I got to it too late. I looked at the number and it was H's cell phone-the girl I befriended on the cruise but who has had some mental issues lately. (I heard back from her a few days ago finally and she told me she stayed in a mental hospital for a couple days to come down from the excitement of the cruise; I can't remember if I told you guys that)

    I called her back on my home phone but she didn't pick up, so I left a message. I hope she's okay. IDK if she butt dialed me or what (she has never called me before) but given her recent instability and how I feel like I'm only getting half the story from her all the time I hope she doesn't take to calling me at 3 in the morning or anything...not that I don't want to be that kind of friend to her if that's what she wanted but I can just hear my paranoid husband now..."What if she becomes psychotic, she can find our address through our phone number and come kill us..." So I hope it stays peaceful over here.

  28. #20218

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    It just occured to me that she might be calling if she heard we have a tornado warning--but it's way west of me.

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    Hope everything is ok, Kate. I sympathize with your DH.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    So sorry about your panic attack Mandy. I used to have them as well but they were about a whole slew of things. I decided to be like your DH though and just deal with it and not let it control me. I sometimes feel them creeping up on me but I literally tell them (I know, I am weird ) that I'm not putting up with them right now. I also take a few deep breaths and they usually will diminish. The last time I had a full fledged one was after I got a spinal during my c/s with Elle, I was literally freaking out, felt like I could't breathe, crying, yelling, the whole nine yard. I heard them talking about putting me under and they were getting stuff to put me to sleep so I told the attack to shut the hell up and go away and did my best to breathe slowly and make it go away. They are so scary and make you feel so out of control. I am usually always very controlled with my emotions, tone of voice, just my personality in general and I hate panic attacks.

    BTW Your niece and nephew are just gorgeous!!

    Erin

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