Secular Confessions

[daylilies]

Josh doesn't really work well with sticker rewards or charts. We have one up in the kitchen and it barely gets used. Even when I warned him that if he didn't stop slamming his door/yelling at us to get up/whatever else he was doing this morning at 5:45, he wouldn't get to play on the computer and then strike 2 was no tv either, he didn't care and that's how they both got taken away. Problem is that means I have to think of other fun things for him to do so we don't drive each other crazy and then it doesn't seem like so much of a punishment if he gets to go to the zoo and the park instead, does it?

[AmeriBrit]

Just stopping by here to say I'm off now for 2 weeks; I probably won't be online during that time but if I do get a chance, I'll be sure to say hey to all of y'all!

Please could everyone send me "no turbulence during the flight" and "good vacation weather" vibes?

[daylilies]

Good travel vibes to both Ashleys!

[missychrissy]

That broke my heart about the boy being called a little girl 'cause his body hurt. I hate things like that.

I think the clock is a good idea. I also like what Lydia said about having toys that he can only play with in the morning. The trick will be finding something that he really likes. For me, it would have been the fisher price little people that would have worked Conner, it would be his dinosaurs. He loves them so much though that I can't just limit them to one time a day. I'd be hard pressed to find something else he likes as much. I think the tv works for us because that's the only time he really gets to watch it.

Lyida. I hope your trip to Wyoming is less stressful and is surprisingly fun and relaxing for you.

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/05/24/...pe-spare-tire/
Kansas Lawmaker Says Women Should Plan Ahead For Rape: ‘I Have A Spare Tire’

Isn't he utterly disgusting? Talk about wanting to swat someone. He made my blood boil.

eta: And what the heck does he think health insurance is? THAT could be the woman's "spare tire" areshole. I can't say enough bad about him...he wants to help insurance companies profit from woman possibly being victimized (and suffering one of the worst effects at that). Unbelievable.

[missychrissy]

Just stopping by here to say I'm off now for 2 weeks; I probably won't be online during that time but if I do get a chance, I'll be sure to say hey to all of y'all!

Please could everyone send me "no turbulence during the flight" and "good vacation weather" vibes?

Luck!!! and have a WONDERFUL time!!!

[3andMe]

No ash for Ash! Good travels!

I have to share something surprisingly insightful that Claire said yesterday. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, close to dinnertime, which is a really bad time to fall asleep. I woke her up on the way in as gently as possible and plopped her in a warm bath with fun toys, and she stayed in there for a while but when it was time to get out and I was rinsing her she started hysterically crying about water getting in her ears. I told her it was okay, water was supposed to get in there to clean out all the sand and dirt from the playground, and she might hear it or feel it but it would wash right back out. No dice. Still crying. Louder. I told her it was just an ear hole, a little deeper than a belly button, but that it was fine for water to get in and it would get out again. Still crying.

I asked her what exactly was bothering her about the water. As I started toweling her off, she looked up at me and whimpered, "I'm crying because I woke up too early from my nap and I just wasn't feeling good." She knew it wasn't really her ears at all. I told her that dh and I call that being bad-napped, and I gave her a hug. Sometimes I love her so much! Man, dh and I can be that touchy and still don't have that level of insight at the time it's happening, that it's mostly physiologic distress from being sleep-deprived or in pain or what-have-you, and that whatever minor thing that's setting us off really isn't the real culprit.

[daylilies]

Aww, what a sweetie she is.

[Bridget]

No ash for Ash! Good travels!

I have to share something surprisingly insightful that Claire said yesterday. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, close to dinnertime, which is a really bad time to fall asleep. I woke her up on the way in as gently as possible and plopped her in a warm bath with fun toys, and she stayed in there for a while but when it was time to get out and I was rinsing her she started hysterically crying about water getting in her ears. I told her it was okay, water was supposed to get in there to clean out all the sand and dirt from the playground, and she might hear it or feel it but it would wash right back out. No dice. Still crying. Louder. I told her it was just an ear hole, a little deeper than a belly button, but that it was fine for water to get in and it would get out again. Still crying.

I asked her what exactly was bothering her about the water. As I started toweling her off, she looked up at me and whimpered, "I'm crying because I woke up too early from my nap and I just wasn't feeling good." She knew it wasn't really her ears at all. I told her that dh and I call that being bad-napped, and I gave her a hug. Sometimes I love her so much! Man, dh and I can be that touchy and still don't have that level of insight at the time it's happening, that it's mostly physiologic distress from being sleep-deprived or in pain or what-have-you, and that whatever minor thing that's setting us off really isn't the real culprit.

Wow. That truly is very insightful. Like you mentioned about yourself, adults have a hard time even seeing that what they are upset about isn't even really what they're upset about.

Savana was having a rough moment yesterday and in the midst of her yelling at me I told her I was going to walk away because I don't like to be yelled at. She followed me and said she needed to tell me something but she wanted to whisper it in my ear. I bent down to listen and what she said was, "I don't feel good inside right now. And I don't know how to fix it."
So simple. If only we could all just say that once in awhile and let the person in the room with us help us.

[missychrissy]

Isn't it funny how much we can learn from our kids? Lydia and Bridget, your two little girls just filled my heart I hope they can maintain their incredible self awareness through life.

[The10Eels]

Awww, Claire and Savannah! Sweethearts.

I thought of Savannah the other day... Audri and I were playing, and in the middle of play she stopped, stood up, and told me "I need to wash my hands. They have germs."

[demigraf]

AmeriAsh - safe travels!!

Ash - cute flowers.

Lydia & Bridge - My gosh, but you two are raising some seriously self-aware girls!

I'm no help on the sleeping front because Bodhi decided to get up at 4:30 last Sunday morning and not go back to sleep. DH can usually get him back to sleep at that hour, but I think I'm too "stimulating" for him. Nursing doesn't even do the trick. So everybody's Sunday was pretty shot from the way our schedule was thrown off. We missed a post-rapture BBQ music jam on account of being too tired for it.

chrissy - I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but I hope you at least try to size the effort it would take to pursue the thing with your neighbor through legal channels. I know you're queen of the Googles, so you've probably done so by now. It might be a complex sequence you have to do everything in, but if you thing you have a cut-and-dry case, then I would say definitely go for it.



Hey, check out my 2 guys. This video was taken last night while I was making chicken soup. It melts my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhR_TN5Mtuk

[Gwenn]

Love, love, love the video. Love the interactions between the two of them - I work so hard to teach that stuff that I forget how natural it is to most children!

[missychrissy]

That video was just too cute!!!

Believe me, I won't let it go. 1/2 my yard is destroyed and I'm not going to just sit back and eat that without a fight. I choose my battles, and this one would be worth fighting. I'm going to try to do some sweet-talking first though.

[3andMe]

That video was wonderful! Soren was cooing at it the whole time!

It's so weird seeing Bodhi talk, because he's just kind of frozen in my mind as how I saw him last time, being this little mostly-silent toddler, and it blew my mind seeing how verbal he was. It's the same way with my co-workers. I keep picturing their children as the same ages as when I first met them, or as the last time I saw them, and the fourth-grader is now in college.

[demigraf]

Sometimes it blows my mind too hearing Bodhi talk. He still has a lot of physical behaviors that have stuck around from his infancy, and he communicates a lot non-verbally too. So if enough time passes with us playing and B mostly remaining silent or just babbling, it always surprises me a bit when he comes out with a full sentence.

Did you get that bit where Bodhi tells DH "We have the same wishing star" ? He overgeneralizes phrases like that a lot. All stars are "wishing stars" or "starfish". The moon is always "Goodnight Moon", and the other day, at Home Depot, I bought a hammer (DH threw out my girly little one so I wanted another for hanging pictures), and Bodhi said "I want to hold your Golden Hammer", because we have a Bob the Builder episode about a golden one. Their little minds are so interesting.

[The10Eels]

All positive thoughts would be appreciated right now. There are severe tornado warnings for the kansas city metro. There is a cell headed straight towards my in laws, and a funnel cloud just miles away. There have been touch downs reported in the down town area where sfil is currently at work.

[missychrissy]

Oh no. I hope everyone is ok and stays ok. It's been quite a mess lately.

[demigraf]

Oh no, Ash. I'm hoping the best for all those out there. I hope you have a low place where you can hide out with your baby girls.

[missychrissy]

I posted about this in the mom's of teen net, but I feel weird not posting about it here as well. This has been my go-to place for everything parenting related!

Bobbie asked me yesterday if she could leave school. Some mean girls were acting up. It's so frustrating! The main one, Mandy, was Bobbie's bff and they shared some intimate secrets with each other this last year. For whatever reason, Mandy has blabbed all Bobbie's secrets, accused her of lying and being an attention whore, and repeated some really cruel things Bobbie's ex-bf said about her.

Bobbie was devastated. She so sensitive and she was crying and saying that she tries so hard to be compassionate and a good friend. She doesn't understand why she can't find one person to be the same in return for her.

She was ok by the time I got home last night. One thing that she said kind of struck me...we've always had open communication and while they don't always tell me everything ahead of time or even when it happens, my girls do eventually tell me what's on their mind or what's happened.

Anyway...Bobbie said that it does help talking to me, but sometimes I'm so technical about stuff and she just wants to be emotional. Like, I'll talk about adolescent development and how girls go through a phase where they get their self esteem from where they see themselves within their group of peers. If they feel like they're 'lower' they'll often cut down those they perceive as above them in order to make themselves feel better.

Bobbie says it does help knowing that stuff, but sometimes that's not the kind of talk she wants to have. She'd like it if I just said, "So-and-so is a b!tch."

She's doing much better today though. I just hate seeing my kids go through stuff like that.

[Bridget]

Aw Chrissy. Mean girls really suck. I had a former best friend in middle school who turned her whole little group against me and they were so nasty to me. I remember that hurt very well. And I will say that something I have never forgotten is the day my dad caught me crying about it and he said, "Those girls are not good enough be friends with you. Just remember one thing. You can always come home." I seriously think about that last line to this day when I'm feeling low.
It's so cool to me that she is able to tell you just what she needs from you. What a mature young lady. I'm feeling really immature right now because I want to egg that girl's house, or write something mean about her on the bathroom wall...or whatever it is the kids are doing these days.
to you and sweet Bobbie.

[missychrissy]

Thanks Bridget. I think now they post mean things about each other on Facebook, and there's some unwritten rule that I don't understand that you cannot 'unfriend' someone that bullies you on Facebook. I'm not sure why, but if a kid does, that seems to exacerbate the amount of bullying that goes on in school.

Bobbie won't post anything on Mandy's wall though. She's too good for that. And I certainly wouldn't dream of it (although other mothers have been known to get involved on that level )

Anyway, I received a couple emails from regional DEC people and there appears to be a chance that I might not be able to do anything against my neighbor if it turns out that the majority of the flooding happened due to the rain. Act of God and all that BS. I think they're going to send someone out to look at it and they're going to determine if it's a regulated waterway or not. I'm not getting worked up over it. Yet.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry Bobbie is dealing with that. and Ugh about the fb rule.

[demigraf]

Anyway, I received a couple emails from regional DEC people and there appears to be a chance that I might not be able to do anything against my neighbor if it turns out that the majority of the flooding happened due to the rain. Act of God and all that BS. I think they're going to send someone out to look at it and they're going to determine if it's a regulated waterway or not. I'm not getting worked up over it. Yet.

Do you think your neighbor has shown any negligence in his part that contributed to the situation?

I'm really sad to hear that Bobbie is dealing with mean girls. She's so close to the whole THING being over - high school, I mean. Why can't the remaining time pass peacefully? I just hope she realizes she won't have to see the majority of these people ever again if she doesn't want to, and that the mean girls will soon find out they have no "teeth" in the real world. Maybe that's why they're still being so vicious right now... because it's their last stand. No matter how on top you are, it's never the same as when you were in high school.

[missychrissy]

Do you think your neighbor has shown any negligence in his part that contributed to the situation?

I'm really sad to hear that Bobbie is dealing with mean girls. She's so close to the whole THING being over - high school, I mean. Why can't the remaining time pass peacefully? I just hope she realizes she won't have to see the majority of these people ever again if she doesn't want to, and that the mean girls will soon find out they have no "teeth" in the real world. Maybe that's why they're still being so vicious right now... because it's their last stand. No matter how on top you are, it's never the same as when you were in high school.

I don't know about the neighbor and his negligence...I supposed I could try to argue that he didn't take necessary precautions or built his dam insufficiently. I'm hoping that sweet-talking will work with him.

I told Bobbie that exact same thing last night. I pointed out that she's obviously very smart and going places in this life and those girls, especially the one that started crap yesterday, are just jealous. They know they're not getting out of town. That one is actually 19 and already has her own single-wide trailer. That's likely all she'll ever aspire to have. She lives two trailers down from her mom in a run down trailer park.

I'm sure that's part of what instigated their attack on Bobbie. Pure, unadulterated jealousy.

[Ky'sMom]

Well I will say it, that girl is being a b!tch. I hate it when girls are mean to each other.

Erin

[Gwenn]

Oh, Chrissy, that sucks. Although it did take me a few seconds to of trying to figure out why you were writing about me and Bobbie before I understood what was happening! I'm not used to multiple Mandies.

Tomorrow is my last day of work for the school year! All I have to do is write a list of my caseload, turn in my laptop, put a few things in my car to bring home over the summer, and write a report about what happened with that parent refusing placement. Not in that order, of course, but I had to save the best for last. I've never had a last day of work where I haven't been frantically writing progress reports, billing for services, and packing for a move between schools so I'm feeling pretty good right now.

[demigraf]

Hooray, Mandy! And with your DH being home, I'm sure it's going to be a great summer!

[Cosmosmom]

I don't care about AI at all this year.....but I lady gaga!

[The10Eels]

OMG...

Audri freakin kills me!

This was all stuff she said today --

"My kids are very sneaky.." (They are huh? How many kids do you have?) "FIVE!"

(*teasing* I'll spank your butt....) "Momma! THATS RUDE! You don't hit other people's butts!" (laugh) "Don't laugh! Im very grumpy about this!!"


"****it Boss!" (No clue where she got that one.....)


(Grandpa's on the phone... You want to talk to him??) "NO!" (But you said earlier that you missed grandpa.) "I missed Grandpa EARLIER!!"

Then while on the phone with grandpa, he asked if she missed him today, and she gives this gem... "Yeah, for two minutes"

[daylilies]

LOL....kids are so funny with the things they say.