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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #20011
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    Oh, Bridget. It does sound as though he's trying to make everything your fault and avoid any responsibility in the situation. Which is why you are upset with him in the first place, because he is taking no responsibility. Myles called it exactly. I really do think he isn't interested in making changes.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #20012
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    Unfortunately, he might not be motivated to change until after he's lost you. I mean, he's been 'allowed' to do whatever he wants without any repercussions....so why change things? This is what I beret myself with anyway when Rich starts drinking again.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #20013
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    So in my news, I had a parent refuse to accept the placement we offered today. I've never actually had that happen before, although I know it does happen. Parent has insurance that covers speech therapy privately at no cost to her, which the child is receiving. I recommended a preschool placement in addition to that, which the parent refused to accept because she wants to home school. So I'm left to wonder, what is it she wanted from us that led her to take the child to the school district in the first place if she thinks schools are an evil institution? Why bring her to us and have her evaluated if you already have access to therapy you don't have to pay for out of pocket and you don't like what we have to offer?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #20014
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    That is kind of crazy Mandy. What the heck? What a waste of your time.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #20015

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    Yeah, I mean, what on Earth would be her reasoning for even going through the process.

  6. #20016
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    I really am a little angry about the whole thing. I shouldn't be, but I am. It's that same parent I was frustrated about earlier and it's just got me really questioning myself right now, even though the early childhood director 100% supported my choice and said she'd stand by it and my co-workers told me I handled the situation well. I still feel bad and wonder if I shouldn't have offered her what she wanted in the first place even if it was against my professional judgment.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #20017
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    Gosh, Mandy, that is ridiculous; I've learned from the short time that I have been in the school setting that a lot of times parents do some really irrational things.

    If y'all could keep sending the "stay away, ash cloud" vibes, I would appreciate it! It's currently shut down flights out of Scotland and I am hoping that it doesn't reach Manchester by tomorrow! :S

  8. #20018
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I really am a little angry about the whole thing. I shouldn't be, but I am. It's that same parent I was frustrated about earlier and it's just got me really questioning myself right now, even though the early childhood director 100% supported my choice and said she'd stand by it and my co-workers told me I handled the situation well. I still feel bad and wonder if I shouldn't have offered her what she wanted in the first place even if it was against my professional judgment.
    What purpose would it have served to give her what she seemed to want? If she's going to dictate everything, without any training, she's not going to be serving her child. And you wouldn't have been either. Please don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like this mother is a real piece of work and utterly clueless.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Gosh, Mandy, that is ridiculous; I've learned from the short time that I have been in the school setting that a lot of times parents do some really irrational things.

    If y'all could keep sending the "stay away, ash cloud" vibes, I would appreciate it! It's currently shut down flights out of Scotland and I am hoping that it doesn't reach Manchester by tomorrow! :S
    I hope the ash stays away!!

    I posted this on Facebook, but I'm annoyed enough to share here too. Over the weekend I went to Lowes in an attempt to buy some Kilz-or something like it. I did explain that I wanted either a primer, or pretreater to use to kill mold/mildew in a house that had been vacant for a number of years. As in, on drywall. He took me to the outdoor patio section and pointed to a spray bottle of resin cleaner-like what you'd use on patio furniture. I said, "I don't think that's what I had in mind. For one, I'm doing an entire house." He said, "We have it in a gallon size" and pointed lower on the shelf. He asked a 2nd associate and he agreed that's all they had for that sort of thing. I also explained to him it was to treat a vacant house before priming/painting it.

    Uh, either they don't know what products they sell, or they let the fact that I have boobs and a uterus lead them to believe "this little darlin" wouldn't be wantin any "manly" stuff.

    I was so confused I just left. It didn't dawn on me till later that they totally made a judgment call on me being a woman and simply didn't consider I'd be doing any construction-like work...at least, I wouldn't be out buying the stuff all my by little self.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #20019

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    I hate it when that happens Chrissy. I have had similar experiences at hardware stores and mechanics. Though my DH is a good worker, like I said before he is pretty slow so I usually will do minor jobs myself and I always get some sort of crappy customer service from guys at one store in particular, a Lowe's that is closest to us. I immediately ask for a supervisor or go to the customer service desk. It is very frustrating and could end up costing not only money but time for those women who may fall for that crap.

    Ash, sending tons and tons of clear skies vibes your way! I hope you make your flight with no issues.

    Erin

  10. #20020
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    Erin, it sounds stupid but I was so confused and since it's a smaller Lowes than the one I normally go to I actually thought maybe they didn't sell what I was after. It was later when I was home that I realized what had happened. My brother's friend just happened to have been in there that day and bought the same stuff.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #20021

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    It's going to be a long day. Josh would not listen this morning and thus got his computer and tv time taken away for the rest of the day-I think that might have been a little harsh but I can't go back on it now.

    Does anyone else have a really early riser at this age? All I ask of him is he stay in his room and be quiet until at least 6 a.m. This morning he was up at 5:45 and would not stop bothering us. I asked him many times to just please go back to his room and be quiet until 6 but it escalated and I couldn't go back to sleep. DH luckily went back to sleep. He's going back to being difficult all day every day like he was between 3 and 4 years old.

    I'm sorry you were treated like that at Lowe's Chrissy. I rarely go into Home Depot by myself but when I do, everyone's very helpful. I don't like Lowe's as much.

  12. #20022
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    Conner is the opposite in that he is a night owl, then likes to sleep in. Can you set him up with cartoons or something while you doze? We put our tv on in our bedroom for Conner to watch so we can sleep. That's probably not the most helpful advice, but...I've done it and I certainly would if Conner were waking me before 6!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #20023

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    Kai sometimes wakes up really early. Like this past saturday he was up around 5:15. I just get up. If my kids sleep until 7:30 that is sleeping in!

  14. #20024

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    We don't have any tv's upstairs and I don't trust him to be downstairs by himself for very long (especially if we're sleeping). I know I can get up with him and doze on the couch but I feel like I want him to realize this simple request of staying quiet for 15 more minutes because DH and I have our needs too.

  15. #20025
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    I wouldn't be able to get Conner to just 'leave us alone' yet at this age, without having something to occupy him with. Can you get a small 13 inch tv and put it somewhere? Maybe one with a dvd player in it?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #20026

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    But does he even understand how long 15 minutes is? Because if not, then what you are asking him has absolutely no concrete meaning to him.
    What if you made a basket that was all quiet things to do and when he comes in before you are ready to get up, you can say, "Mommy will be up soon. Go get something from your quiet basket until I come out." You could even put some snacks in there in case he is hungry when he wakes up.

  17. #20027
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    I just got this answer back about the issue with the pond washing out my back yard:

    Christina,
    My name is Wendy W***h, District Manager for T***a County Soil and Water Conservation District. Deb S********r from the Town of O***o forwarded on your email to me and ask that I follow up with you.

    Unfortunately there is not a lot I can do in this situation. I would recommend that you talk with your neighbor and explain to him the problem that has been caused as a result of the new pond outlet. If he is willing to make a change than I can come out and evaluate the situation and see if I can propose a solution, however with that being said my recommendation would be made based on the most feasible course of action for the drainage. If however your neighbor is not willing to make a change then your only option would be to pursue this via an attorney.

    Sorry I can't be more of a help, these are very difficult matters to resolve. If I can be of further assistance please let me know,
    Sincerely,
    Wendy W***h

    Wendy W***h, CPESC, CCA
    District Manager
    T***a County SWCD
    183 Corporate Drive
    O***o, NY 12345
    I can't believe there's no governing agency regarding this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #20028

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    Keep doing your research , Chrissy. Sometimes these people are just plain wrong either because they've never come across the issue or because they just don't dig deep enough.

    I have dealt with so much of these "land zoning" people because when we first moved here someone was complaining about my daycare, our front yard fence, my flower garden being too close to the road (yes, you read that right), our carport...
    They were out here 5-6 times telling us we had to move this, get rid of that, I had to close down my daycare. We did our own research and read the fine print in the laws and proved them wrong every single time.

  19. #20029
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    Chrissy, is there a land planning or development office? I know when my parents moved into their house, their neighbor got rid of the swail in their yard....made it flatter but in turn that dumped water into my parents yard. My mom called the city and asked if she could get rid of hers...answer was a big NO and suddenly inspectors were at the neighbors and they had to change their landscaping because they never got a permit to fill in the swail. The land was laid out in such a way that the access water would drain and find it's way to the retention pond.

    And like Bridget, I would want to see things in writing stating what exactly the policies and laws are.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  20. #20030
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    My county doesn't have any kind of web site information that pertains to this sort of situation. I emailed my county clerk's office, who forwarded my email to the woman that gave me the above response.

    I just looked on the state's DEC web site and there isn't a lot of relative information, but I did find a general email contact, and a phone number for my region. Hopefully someone can help me out. I really don't want this to turn into a legal battle.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #20031

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    I would also want to see the policies in writing. I would search online for land ordinances or look through state and local county or city codes that address this sort of issue. You may have already done that though. But it is messed up that the city officials won't help. Who wants to pay a lawyer for something that can be handled by them just writing a violation citation for the neighbor and scaring him into fixing the situation.

    I am no help with early risers. I and DH are pretty lazy, we frequently sleep in at least one weekend day per week until noon. Elle will sleep 12 hours from the time we put her to bed so she just goes to bed later on the weekends. Ky has always been an early riser but I let him watch TV on weekends since he was like 3 years old. I never worried about him watching in the living room by himself since we don't have anything in there really for him to mess with. I admit once he broke a window and oddly enough I was in the bathroom when it happened. He threw some sort of toy in his room and broke a small pane of glass. But I didn't and don't think it is all that serious, I heard it happen and went and cleaned it up so no biggie. Ky also has been getting his own mini-breakfast since he was around 3.5. I would leave a bowl of cereal covered in plastic wrap on the table for him and leave a cup of milk in the fridge and showed him how to pour it so he could do it himself. He spilled the milk sometimes but again no biggie, I was happy to clean the mess as long as I got to sleep in. He really enjoyed his chill out weekends and still does to this day, especially since he is not allowed to watch TV during the weekdays.

    Erin

  22. #20032
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    It could be the stuff just isn't online....and you might have better luck by calling instead of emailing.

    Do you have any access to a lawyer through an employee assistance program at work?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I confess I was off at 1:30 this afternoon, and I dont have to be back to work until friday!

    I rented a bunch of movies.. I watched the Rite last night, and just put in The Mechanic.. *drool* Jason Statham! and then have gnomio and juliet, and I am number four

    If only it would stop raining so that the girls and I could go to the park one of those days, I would be completely happy!!

  24. Default

    oh.. and I confess these were brought to me at work yesterday, Just because...


  25. #20035
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    for some time off....and ooo those flowers are beautiful!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #20036

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    Nice flowers Ash!
    He may not understand 15 minutes but he knows what 6:00 looks like. I really feel like a tv up there would not be wise...he'd want it all the time. The quiet box is a good idea but I can't think of the last time he wanted to do a quiet activity, especially by himself. He can't read, and if it were a puzzle he'd be calling me in there to help him. He doesn't like to draw, or color.
    We finally went to the zoo, and the park. It was fun, but I am astounded at how mean some parents are. One was telling her son he was just like a girl because he complains. He was saying his body hurt He was dragging along a scooter, and I understand the frustration of bringing a bike or scooter to the park and the kid doesn't want to ride it, but I found it really offensive and the wrong message that she said he was like a girl because he was saying his body hurt.

    I caught a girl who was about to fall...She was hanging face up onto a piece of the playground and I think she had hit her head on the edge-she was upset and scared and didn't want me to touch her but I put my arms under her until her mom ran over.

    I got word from a mutual friend that H from the cruise is going through some issues right now but the family wants to keep it private I don't have her phone number so I can only hope she'll be okay and keep in touch when she can.

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  28. #20038
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    Ok so I posted in here because well it would just create trouble in other rooms. I am so irritated that some stupid man is saying that women should plan ahead on being raped....because well we should all have life insurance (because we all eventually die....so he must think that we all will end up being raped.). Uggg. Glad I don't live in Kansas....not like my state is all that great but our gov. is too busy attacking teachers and unions and killing things like railroads that I haven't heard of him trying to attack all the women too.

    I hate when some man that doesn't know me tries to make choices for me. As much as I dearly want a baby, I don't know that I would keep a pg out of rape. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't. Just don't think i could do it or that DH could do it. However, I'm pretty sure that DH and I will be checking yes on the box where we will adopt a child that conceived out of rape.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #20039
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    I can't read that article at work right now - it's probably just as well.

    I've been up since 2 am. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm stressing about going to Wyoming this summer, and different scheduling issues and really we can't afford it but my dad wants us to and he will subsidize it partially and we should do it. Gah.

    Anyway, as for the early morning riser, Claire usually wakes up between 5:30 and 6 AM. This is a HUGE improvement for her. I gave in and got a tot clock for the twins, that would change color when it was wake-up time and sleep time (and nap time, if applicable) and it plays lullaby music and white noise. It wasn't cheap. We have wake-up time set for 6:30 AM, but Claire usually wakes up earlier. She knows she is supposed to be quiet until wake-up time, and sometimes she is successful. Sometimes she is enthusiastic or upset about something, and wakes up me, or Ronin. If I hear her, I will try to head her off at the pass and take her out to the living room. She will sit quietly on the couch and read a book or two or three and let me drink coffee and gather my thoughts until 6:30.

    We have been doing stickers and rewards for bedtime-related behavior. One set for getting ready for bed expeditiously. One set for being quiet resters. Does Josh show any behavior change with reward charts, or prizes? Or are there any toys that he likes to play with that he doesn't get to play with very often? Like we have a little farm or dominoes or a matching game that stay in the closet and don't come out very often, and the kids always like to play with them if they see them. Maybe you could have a quiet morning toy that would be more fun if it's not out all the time.

    And, like I said, this clock is a big improvement. Claire used to come in and wake me up several times a night, starting at 1 or 2 AM, because she didn't know what time it was and thought it was time to get up. And I'm usually up early anyway.


  30. #20040

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    Lydia, your siggy is so cute. I cannot believe how big he is!!

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