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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #19861
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I wish we could meet up, too, Chrissy. Maybe one day. My Rich loves NYC so maybe we could meet up there some day. :-)
    That would be fun!!

    Last night Bobbie took her camera and said she was going out to 'find pictures' (she's interested in photography). It was some time after dinner, but still light out. Later in the night, we saw a car pull up to the bottom of our driveway and someone got out. It was very strange because our driveway is very long (like 1/10th of a mile). I even commented to Rich that it reminded me of having my older bf drop me off at the pond out back of our house when I was sneaking home.

    Bobbie had gotten into prickers and lost in chasing the elusive perfect picture and the next thing she knew it was pitch black and she was over 3 miles from home. Down by the 2-lane "highway" that our road comes out onto, and her phone was dead. Lucky for her, someone came by that she knew so she hitched a ride.

    I'm ok with her being gone till whatever time (it must have been after 10, maybe even closer to 11) but I was not ok with the idea that neither Rich nor I realized she was gone. We were just getting ready to shut off the front porch light & lock the door. Parents of the year?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #19862
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Rapture prank: On Saturday, take some of your unwanted clothes and shoes and leave sets of them arranged on sidewalks and lawns around town.

    I should add that I just saw that on Twitter - it's not original.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 05-19-2011 at 08:23 AM.


  3. #19863
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    **LIKE!**

    I've been joking that I'd love to go hide on someone on Saturday...if only I knew someone irl that believed that nonsense!!

    I thought about telling my mom about the rapture, or having my brother do it, and then hiding on her at Walmart. But that would be mean. heehee

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #19864
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    Ok so I love a lot of things about where I live.....but not the ticks! I guess DH said he had two on his pants over the weekend while he was mowing and messing the the gopher holes. And last night I found one on my kitchen floor....no clue how I saw it when my floor looks like slate with a lot of greys and browns and is pretty dark. Could have hitched in on Cosmo but she definitely is treated with frontline and tomorrow gets her yearly lyme shot. My area of WI has some of the highest lyme rates....I think that basically this area and places in CT are are the worst. Good news is our doctors up here are trained to specifically look for lyme.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #19865

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    Arg! I'm so discombobulated since coming home, I went to my therapist appt. a week early!

  6. #19866

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    Just wanted to tell you guys something sweet DH did--he listens to a podcast of these guys just talking about random stuff, and it's pretty funny and I listen along sometimes with him after Josh goes to bed. Well last night he was listening and I wasn't really paying attention, and they were reading some mail they got, and I heard "Hope you have fun on your new kids on the block cruise" (except they messed up and said new kids on the black LOL) and I was like oh that's cute. Well he played it again and it was from him to me!

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    Awwww Kate!

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    That's really sweet, Kate!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #19869

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    Jennifer, I never heard about our dr's being trained to look for Lyme. I hope that's true. My really good friend's (the one whose party I went to the other night) mom is suffering horribly right now because her dr's did not diagnose her lyme disease so she has had it for maybe up to 10 years. She begged for the test (apparently there are 2 and one has a high rate of false negatives) and they told her she was hypochondraic (sp?) She finally found a dr who would listen and the tests came back positive. She can hardly get out of bed some mornings and she is a farmer so she needs her body to be strong. She has to be on high doses of antibiotics for at least 6 months which has it's own set of hardships. I feel so sorry for her.
    Her current dr told her they are starting to think that people are misdiagnosed with alzheimers (again, sp/) because, left untreated, the symptoms are very similar.
    Scary.

  10. #19870
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    I don't know what the lyme rates are in your area. I know that when I was in Milwaukee, the vet never suggested a Lyme vax for Cosmo. When we moved to EC, that was the first thing the vet suggested. I was like well I thought that was mostly a risk for people up north...vet and DH looked at me and said, umm, you are up north now. I know I told my family in Kenosha and my MIL in Chicago that if they ever feel icky after coming back from visiting us, make sure that they test for Lyme and tell the doc that they were up here and we have a high lyme rate. Pretty much everyone I know has either had it themselves or had it in their family/friend circle. My hospital puts out our own pamphlet on lyme and I make sure to stock those in the patient library.

    Young and the Restless did a story a year or so ago where one of the main characters who is older thought she was losing her mind....turned out it was Lyme (and the story is supposedly i Geona City and mentions Twin Lakes....funny how they made those into big cities LOL).

    It is always sad when someone doesn't get dx'd correctly and lyme is so treatable early on.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #19871
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    Kate that is pretty sweet!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Ok so I love a lot of things about where I live.....but not the ticks! I guess DH said he had two on his pants over the weekend while he was mowing and messing the the gopher holes. And last night I found one on my kitchen floor....no clue how I saw it when my floor looks like slate with a lot of greys and browns and is pretty dark. Could have hitched in on Cosmo but she definitely is treated with frontline and tomorrow gets her yearly lyme shot. My area of WI has some of the highest lyme rates....I think that basically this area and places in CT are are the worst. Good news is our doctors up here are trained to specifically look for lyme.
    Here we have any implanted tics removed and sent to the lab for testing. If the tic tests positive for lyme, the patient is notified and put on treatment asap. I remember when I took pictures of Conner at the walk-in having a tic removed, some moms made fun of me (in a nice way, not to make me feel bad) but lyme is a pretty serious problem here too. I thought everyone in the country did that! Everyone I know goes to the dr with a tic.

    I was not aware there was a lyme vaccination for pets available. I wonder why they don't have one for humans?

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Arg! I'm so discombobulated since coming home, I went to my therapist appt. a week early!
    Oops!!

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Just wanted to tell you guys something sweet DH did--he listens to a podcast of these guys just talking about random stuff, and it's pretty funny and I listen along sometimes with him after Josh goes to bed. Well last night he was listening and I wasn't really paying attention, and they were reading some mail they got, and I heard "Hope you have fun on your new kids on the block cruise" (except they messed up and said new kids on the black LOL) and I was like oh that's cute. Well he played it again and it was from him to me!
    That was so sweet of him!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #19873
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    I invited a mom from that predominantly conservative parenting board that I've ranted about in the past to join us. She made an account here and posted an introduction in our secular room. I hope she comes 'in' here and joins us!!

    If you get a chance, go say 'hi' to her. Her name is Lacey.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #19874
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Here we have any implanted tics removed and sent to the lab for testing. If the tic tests positive for lyme, the patient is notified and put on treatment asap. I remember when I took pictures of Conner at the walk-in having a tic removed, some moms made fun of me (in a nice way, not to make me feel bad) but lyme is a pretty serious problem here too. I thought everyone in the country did that! Everyone I know goes to the dr with a tic.

    I was not aware there was a lyme vaccination for pets available. I wonder why they don't have one for humans?
    I was just looking at the CDC and I guess that overall in the US, ticks infected with lyme is only 1%. Except in certain areas it is as high as 50%. I know NY is a pretty high rate too. It's like it's the east coast....and WI, MN. Something like 95% of lyme is in 12 states. Course in other states they have other tick diseases which are icky as well. I know when my sister got really sick (was in the hospital for a few days) after some travel, for a while they thought it was Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever....her nickname is Rocky. But they never did figure out what it was that was wrong with her and she slowly got better. Did IV antibiotics for a while though.

    I wondered the same thing....if Cosmo can get a vax, why we cannot. But yeah we get her one every year....especially important since we now have a field behind us and have seen deer and other wildlife. She doesn't normally leave our yard and go in the field but once in a while she starts to and I have to tell her no get back here. I really should have had in her a few weeks ago for her vax but didn't have the time to take off work and was just super busy. Bad momma!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #19875
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    Oh Chrissy....just had this come across my email and thought about you.

    http://www.amazon.com/Wilder-Life-Ad...5822538&sr=8-1

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Oh Chrissy....just had this come across my email and thought about you.

    http://www.amazon.com/Wilder-Life-Ad...5822538&sr=8-1
    That looks awesome! I'm sad that the Kindle price is $12.99 though. We have to watch what we spend our money on for a little while because we're now paying for two places (through the end of July). I'll add it to my wishlist and get it later though, thanks!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #19877

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    I can't find Lacey's post, Chrissy.

    Josh is learning to write! He wrote "To mom" all by himself on my mother's day card. And today he asked how to spell Grammie, but I was running around trying to get ready and I only told him G-R. He came to me and it said GRE and he said "I sounded it out! it ends in E!" LOL

  18. #19878

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    I'm so glad we don't have Lyme-bearing deer ticks out here. I would be obsessively checking every member of the household from every trip outside. And the West Nile mosquitoes are worrisome enough. The bad news is that our ticks out here are huge, and I have wanted to faint the few times I've found one burrowed into one of the dogs

    Speaking of which, it appears my schnoodle does not pee EVER. Except once every 3 weeks and in those cases on our carpet. Because we watch her "hurry-ups" like hawks (that's our command for #1; for #2, we call it doing your "big business"), and we never see her pee. Not even first thing in the morning. It's so weird too, because she is a thirsty dog. Either she pants it all out, or she has a secret toilet - I hope not somewhere in the house.

    Chrissy, the other day I wrote out this long reply to your post about the girls on the bus and bullying. Then APA hung on me, and I lost my post. I was so bitter about all that lost typing I didn't come back til now. Will try again when I'm at my desk.

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    Thats so cute, Kate! I love that he sounded it out!


    I was up with Audri at 3 am, with her puking.... It woke Charlie up, so my mom rocked Charlie back to sleep while I changed sheets, and got Audri cleaned up, etc...

    She threw up 2 more times, but I had a bucket by the bed just in case. The first time I had dozed off, and she woke me up to tell me she needed the bucket. The next time I woke up to her coughing, and was about to grab the bucket, when I realized she was already holding it.

    She is growing up way too fast!!!

  20. #19880
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I can't find Lacey's post, Chrissy.

    Josh is learning to write! He wrote "To mom" all by himself on my mother's day card. And today he asked how to spell Grammie, but I was running around trying to get ready and I only told him G-R. He came to me and it said GRE and he said "I sounded it out! it ends in E!" LOL
    Josh! That is awesome!!

    Lacey's post is in this thread: http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/...post1058234989

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #19881

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    Aww, poor baby

  22. #19882

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Rapture prank: On Saturday, take some of your unwanted clothes and shoes and leave sets of them arranged on sidewalks and lawns around town.

    I should add that I just saw that on Twitter - it's not original.
    That would be hilarious. I am trying to think of a trick to play on my aunt who, though she has a ton of "moral" issues IMO is always commenting about how I need to believe in God and the Bible more. I was thinking of visiting her on Saturday and going to the bathroom and leaving my shoes or something, screaming, and then running into the closet so she couldn't see me. I know, really corny LOL!

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Just wanted to tell you guys something sweet DH did--he listens to a podcast of these guys just talking about random stuff, and it's pretty funny and I listen along sometimes with him after Josh goes to bed. Well last night he was listening and I wasn't really paying attention, and they were reading some mail they got, and I heard "Hope you have fun on your new kids on the block cruise" (except they messed up and said new kids on the black LOL) and I was like oh that's cute. Well he played it again and it was from him to me!
    That is sweet and such a thoughtful thing of your DH to do!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I don't know what the lyme rates are in your area. I know that when I was in Milwaukee, the vet never suggested a Lyme vax for Cosmo. When we moved to EC, that was the first thing the vet suggested. I was like well I thought that was mostly a risk for people up north...vet and DH looked at me and said, umm, you are up north now. I know I told my family in Kenosha and my MIL in Chicago that if they ever feel icky after coming back from visiting us, make sure that they test for Lyme and tell the doc that they were up here and we have a high lyme rate. Pretty much everyone I know has either had it themselves or had it in their family/friend circle. My hospital puts out our own pamphlet on lyme and I make sure to stock those in the patient library.

    Young and the Restless did a story a year or so ago where one of the main characters who is older thought she was losing her mind....turned out it was Lyme (and the story is supposedly i Geona City and mentions Twin Lakes....funny how they made those into big cities LOL).

    It is always sad when someone doesn't get dx'd correctly and lyme is so treatable early on.
    Is horrible that I know that the character is Catherine Chancellor, the matriarch of Y&R. I used to watch that with my grandma and still watch it occasionally when I can. I was a SAHM during that storyline and used to watch it while Elle napped.

    I also am glad we don't have to worry about Lyme Disease, but we have horrible mosquitoes here and also have a higher than average infection rate of West Nile. The neighborhood I live in actually used to be a swamp and you will get bitten at least 20 times in 2 minutes if you go outside at any time during the summer especially. I hate chemicals but am considering getting a chemical system installed before next summer if the natural remedy I found, mosquito repelling geraniums, doesn't decrease the amount of mosquitoes. We can't do anything outside at all in late spring and the whole summer, through September because of mosquitoes unless we cover ourselves in Off or other repellants and I hate the feeling and smell of them.

    Erin

  23. #19883
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    Myles...any chance she just doesn't squat much? I have seen a few smaller dogs who you really cannot tell if they are going or not.

    Now mine is a cockapoo...but she is a bigger sized one and has to mark everything outside like she was a boy. I don't know how she manages to find another drop to squeeze out but she does. If it is nice outside, she will go multiple times. It was only when it was like 10 or below that she would go out and go once and run back in.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #19884

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    Dbf is on a one man mission to eradicate the mosquito population aroun here. He built tons of bird feederes and houses to draw in birds since they eat bugs of all kinds including mosquitos. We also have bat houses and some radar thing that draws mosquitos in with the odor (we can't smell it) and then they are trapped.
    We also blow fans on our deck so it's too windy for the little buggers.

    I love the rapture joke. Erin, I totally think you should play that joke on your aunt.

  25. #19885
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    I'm here. I'm just trying to read a few pages back and get caught up. Chrissy, that is so terrible about the bullying. I'm so glad your daughters were there to help her though.

  26. #19886

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    Ash/Eels - Oh, no! I hope your little girl feels less pukity and you both get some rest!


    jennifer - Lulu, my schnoodle, is a 50+ lb dog, and she has a pretty distinct squat. So I don't think I'd miss it. Where and when she pees most of the time is still a mystery to me. My big doggy on the other hand - he's just like Cosmo. The mystery there is that I almost never see him drink water, and he still never seems to run out of urine to mark his territory.

    kate, that was a very nice gesture on your DH's part.

    I am also a little bit curious about the drama surrounding the photo you got with Joey. Is it ok if I giggle a little bit about the whole "crazed fangirl" aspect of getting pissed at you over a photo? I just can't think of one single celebrity that I would fight with another person over. It might be the fact that I grew up around Hollywood, and locals have an unspoken rule that you have to treat celebrities like ordinary people when you spot them/serve them/loan them your pen/almost get rear-ended by one of them , etc. But I think I would also feel a little self-conscious that I was putting someone up on a pedestal (if I were to actually fight with a friend over one of them).

    I confess, the one time I acted like a jerk-off fan in my late teens and snapped a drive-by pic of a celebrity, that person ended up committing suicide. The tabloids said the person couldn't handle the attention. I do feel a little responsible, since I would not appreciate a stranger taking my photo without asking.

    speaking of suicide... my long lost post the other day on the topic of bullying was about how the whole "kill yourself" thing sounds fairly new to me too. Kids at my school were pretty mean. I was bullied, so I bullied back too. There was this one guy who talked to himself out loud, so I started a teasing campaign in the 7th grade that he was a schizophrenic. Everyone was calling him "schizo"; made him cry in the middle of class. (Note to self: I should look him up on FB and apologize to him if I can find him.) At other times, the kids started a rumor about me that I smoked pot, and they all kept coming right up to my face, pretending to inhale a joint. Then there was the time the top mean girl spat in my mouth *shudder*. But as hurtful and damaging as all that bullying might have been, at no time did anyone ever wish another person dead. I don't know where that comes from. I'd be curious to know if child suicide rates are really on the rise or if it's just a trend in the way kids talk to each other. It's awful and sickening either way.

    I agree with the other girls that you must be one helluva mom, chrissy, if your girls had the instinct to protect that little girl. I hope the school does something about it.

  27. #19887
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    Welcome, Lacey!

    Soren had his one-year appointment on Tuesday. He totally showed off for the doctor. The doctor always hands out books at our appointments, so he gave Soren a book while he was talking to me, and Soren opened the book, pointed to a picture of a duck, and said "Duck." Then he turned the page, pointed to a picture of a cat, and said "Cat." Clear as day. Dh asked me if I'd been coaching him when I told him about it. The doctor said he was obviously a genius. Such a far cry from the twins, who could barely speak 6 words at their 15-month checkup. I've been really trying since day 1 to use the language strategies discussed in Nurtureshock, so I don't know if that's made any difference--I've been making a point to always give him feedback when he makes sounds, especially new and different sounds, even back when he was just gurgling and babbling and cooing.


  28. #19888

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    Speaking of bullying, maybe the topic was fresh on my mind when something else came up yesterday: Bodhi and I took a walk by the beach in the afternoon. DH caught up with us in his own car, and I told Bodhi I was going to go home ahead of them so I could make dinner and he could run around some more with his dad. He said "Get outta here, mommy!". (DH & I corrected him about talking that way.) That one little phrase started this whole spiral of worry for me.

    Because he said it and we never taught it to him, I got this big fear that he had learned the phrase from one of the older kids at the preschool he attends when one of them was being mean to him. I was picturing a bigger boy pushing him away, not including him in play and such. He's the youngest boy in the group by a good 8-9 months, and I still struggle with the fact that I have to work and can't be with him all day long anymore. So I had a crying moment this morning with DH when I shared my worries with him. DH said it's not something we can 100% protect Bodhi from if it truly were happening, and he sees Bodhi being kind of mean and selfish around the other kids himself sometimes. I said yes, but we can talk to the teachers to ask them to watch for it, and ultimately, find a more age-appropriate program for Bodhi if he's too young to fit in with the other kids. Anyway, DH talked to one of the teachers this morning, and she said she hadn't seen kids be mean to Bodhi. In fact, Bodhi has friends who want to include him (I connected with a mom of one of these friends & we "playdated" last Sat), but he prefers to do his own thing most of the time. I know I'm a little sensitive about this topic because a) I deeply wish I could still be a SAHM and hate that I'm not there to stand in the way of older children at all times, and b) I was treated like an outcast myself most of my life. I'm just not sure if I'm making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. Sometimes I even wonder if it's a good thing that Bodhi is learning how to get along with other kids at such a young age. He shows a lot of assertiveness (cockiness at times) these days and comes home with some valuable lessons about listening/sharing. He knows some numbers, all the ABCs with some phonics even, and enjoys showing off the songs he learned at school. Plus, I never got to socialize with kids my own age until I was 4, and they terrified me at first. Maybe the preschool is actually a better opportunity for him than I was given at his age. I don't know. I'm just still really torn up about the whole thing.

    What are your experiences with watching your kids learn to play with others? And if there were a real case of other kids being aggressive to your own, would you leave your child in the situation where he has to learn to fend for himself (my DH leans that way), or physically remove your child to a more harmonious group?

  29. #19889
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    Quote Originally Posted by summerbabies View Post
    I'm here. I'm just trying to read a few pages back and get caught up. Chrissy, that is so terrible about the bullying. I'm so glad your daughters were there to help her though.
    I'm glad you poked your head in!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Welcome, Lacey!

    Soren had his one-year appointment on Tuesday. He totally showed off for the doctor. The doctor always hands out books at our appointments, so he gave Soren a book while he was talking to me, and Soren opened the book, pointed to a picture of a duck, and said "Duck." Then he turned the page, pointed to a picture of a cat, and said "Cat." Clear as day. Dh asked me if I'd been coaching him when I told him about it. The doctor said he was obviously a genius. Such a far cry from the twins, who could barely speak 6 words at their 15-month checkup. I've been really trying since day 1 to use the language strategies discussed in Nurtureshock, so I don't know if that's made any difference--I've been making a point to always give him feedback when he makes sounds, especially new and different sounds, even back when he was just gurgling and babbling and cooing.
    That's really great Lydia! yay for Soren!

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    What are your experiences with watching your kids learn to play with others? And if there were a real case of other kids being aggressive to your own, would you leave your child in the situation where he has to learn to fend for himself (my DH leans that way), or physically remove your child to a more harmonious group?
    This is so hard...even having been through those stages with my 4, I don't know what's right and what's wrong. All my kids reacted differently to bullying...Bobbie sucks it up and keeps it to herself. That used to break my heart so bad. Heck, it still does. She tolerates too much. At least she's kinda found her voice and doesn't tolerate it from her peers like she used to, and she certainly won't witness someone else being bullied silently.

    Jessica always seemed to fit in and I don't recall being teased being an issue with her. She also gets defensive when she witnesses it (you remember it wasn't that long ago when she got in a fist fight with some boy because he was picking on the gay kids in their class).

    I fear Sydney may lean toward going with the pack and jump in with the teasing. Not always-like the case on the bus...but there have been times when I've had to talk to her about that.

    Conner hasn't ever been in structured daycare and I've worried if that would inhibit his ability to connect with peers and make friends, but my mom (and I on weekends/days off) have always taken him to the park and he always makes friends with other little kids. At Kindergarten registration, he walked right up to one little girl and took her hand, asked her name, and told her what his name was. Later, he told me he was just starting to love her, but it was time to go.

    I do worry because he has bad teeth. Totally genetic-Rich and all his family and the little cousins have had terrible teeth. Inside I cringe at the thought of the kids teasing Conner about his teeth. I took him to the dentist, but it was going to be $1900 out of pocket to have them fixed. I opted to only fix any that cause him pain (none have thus far) and if his adult teeth grow in bad I'll put the money in his mouth then. Rich's sister had all her front teeth in silver fillings in her K picture.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #19890
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    Mylah, it's interesting that you bring this up, because I was just talking to my twins about this today. I chose a preschool that gave me a feeling of friendship and peace when I went there - it's not very scholastic, and it's play-based, but it seemed like everyone was friends, and playing very nicely together when I visited.

    Lately, Claire has been complaining about some mean boys, and the boy that Ro used to play with is not his friend any more -- he's been throwing dirt on Claire, and hit her once. Ronin says he doesn't like to play with him any more because he's not nice. I'm getting the impression there's a group of 3-4 boys that are pretty aggressive.

    Anyway, they still have friends, but I've been hearing more stories about incidents. Today on the way to school I asked them very seriously if they liked going to school still. Do they like playing with their friends, do they like their teachers, do they like the games they play and the things they learn and circle time and playing outside and snack time and show and tell and everything? Do they like it? Do they like going and seeing their friends? They both said, very seriously, that they did like it.

    So then I talked to them about the "mean boys" and the time that the boy threw dirt on Claire. I told them that they learn a lot of things in school that I can't teach them at home, and one of the most important things is how to act around other people, especially other kids. That it is really hard to deal with mean people, or people who hurt you, but it's good to learn that in a safe place where you have teachers around, because there will be other times in the future where you have to deal with people who aren't nice. What do you do if someone throws dirt on you?

    "I say 'Don't throw dirt on me!' 'I don't want to play with you if you won't play nice!"

    What do you do if that doesn't work?

    "I tell a teacher."

    Good!

    Basically, I don't leave them to fend for themselves before they have the tools for it. Ever since they were little, I let them know I am there to help them. Sometimes they aren't bothered by things, and if they aren't, I won't take offense on their behalf. If someone says "I don't want to play with you" I shrug it off and say out loud "That boy doesn't want to play with you right now, so let's find someone else to play with." Totally neutral, no reason to be offended. If only we adults could be so honest. If someone came up and hit one of them (it's happened), I tell the other child that hitting is not okay and that he cannot play with us if he is going to hit, loudly enough for the mother to hear.

    I basically reinforce that the other child should stop the behavior, and if he/she doesn't stop, then we won't play anymore. I've said this out loud with the twins since they were infants, and this is the same basic policy at school (use words to say stop, then move away, then tell a teacher or something like that, but simpler so they remember) so they're pretty good at it now, and I do think it's valuable to learn now when it's easy and the behaviors are simpler.

    Sorry for the book! Don't be sad for him. It sounds like he's learning a lot. And I'm not of the school of thought of throwing people to the wolves, or sink or swim philosophy, but I do think that if you shelter them too much it is detrimental in the long run.


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