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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #19201
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    The twins only shower about twice a week, too.

    They did well with their first haircut going immediately after dh had his hair cut in the same place. I talked to them while he was having it done and then they had theirs cut.

    I can only cut Ro's fingernails while he's asleep, though.


  2. #19202

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    We only bathe the kids 1-2 times a week here too in the winter. In the summer they get really dirty so we go as needed.

  3. #19203

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    Chrissy, I hope Conner does okay today. I found Savana to be similar in the way that if I warn her about certain things it just makes her emotional reaction that much more drawn out and it ends up escalating to a ridiculous level as she works herself up. Like, if I have plans to leave the house without her, I cannot let her know until I'm about to walk out the door or she will obsess about it all day long.

  4. #19204

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    I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon!



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  5. #19205

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon!
    I would have done the same thing.

    Josh gets stinky in the genital area after a few days. I don't know if it's typical boy smell or what but I can't stand it. He doesn't mind baths so much but he gets fussy about water on his face. So he takes a bath every other day or so. Less in the winter time, because he gets very dry skin and doesn't get as dirty if he's not playing outside so much.

  6. #19206

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon!
    I always feel like a jerk too. But whenever I cave, the other daycare kids always end up sick so I really tryo and stick to my guns on that.

  7. #19207
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    Conner will go through phases where he wants to play in the tub. I always let him, but don't make him 'bath' at those times.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #19208
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    No haircut today...all the barbers are closed.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #19209

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    Aw

  10. #19210

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    Molly, you're not a jerk, especially because you feel like a jerk. I saw a voicemail from you this morning, but haven't gotten to it yet. I have been up since 4am flying back from my parents with Bodhi and am working now. I have never sweat so much getting a kid on an airplane by myself. I know I shouldn't expect anyone to step up and help me, but it is so annoying when people see me red in the face, with a kid in the Ergo, cramming a giant carseat in between seats in front of me and dragging a rolling suitcase behind me because it won't fit down the plane aisle, and they just blink and stare. It almost makes it a little satisfying to hit people with my stuff as I pass them on the way down the aisle.

    I saw my sister this weekend. It was a bit tense, but since she was staying in a hotel (my parents' house isn't grand enough for her), not too much time was spent with her. When we said goodbye at a restaurant last night, I gave her a hug and I kind of meant it. I miss having a sister. Still am unclear on how to repair things with her, but get the sense that it will be all my efforts if it ever does happen.

    I'm sorry I haven't had the time yet to read back past this page. I am sad to hear about the kiddos not liking their baths. Bodhi has recently started acting up around hair washing, but bath time has also improved ever since I realized that he will play with empty squirt bottles/pump bottles of varying sizes. I've been saving them up now. He gets totally engrossed unscrewing them, filling them and dispensing with them - kind of like his face in my siggy pic. I still try to bathe him every night - even for a short dip - to keep up the routine. But yes, it is heartbreaking to see them crying in the bath. It's super sad for me when Bodhi gets water in his eyes, has soap in his hands and then tries to rub his eyes with them, not realizing that is making things worse. I try really hard to rinse his hands immediately when they're soapy. The things we have to learn from our little ones...

    Hope everyone had a nice weekend.
    Last edited by demigraf; 04-25-2011 at 12:40 PM.

  11. #19211
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    Nice to see you here, Myles. I'm sorry about your sister. I haven't spoken to my sister in about 3 months now and haven't actually seen her in person in 3.5 years now. I really really miss her.

    On the subject of baths, I posted in NM/MIG about Travis and his penis issues. He loves baths and loves to tug at his "tail" in the bath. Yikes. I don't know how to handle it, but he's loved his new discovery of his new 'toy.' Oi vey.

  12. #19212

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    I haven't talked to my sister in about two months but we managed recently to start texting each other occasionally, to impart any important news. There are very few people I meet without sister issues though, so I feel I'm in good company.
    Last edited by AbbeysMom; 04-25-2011 at 01:25 PM.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  13. #19213

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    I always wanted a sister. I have two brothers and my younger one is my best friend. We once went 6 months without speaking and it was horrible. He's gay so he's much like a sister but even better because when we used to go to the clubs together no guys would mess with me. People always did think we were a couple though so we used to have this plan that if someone attractive was near we'd say loudly to the other, "Have you talked to mom today?"
    One night we were at this martini bar where there must have been a lot of beautiful people because finally the bartender asked us wtf we keep repeating that question to eachother.

    Myles, when I moved over here from Hawaii I was traveling alone with Savana and Kai and couldn't believe how very few people offered to help me. But I sure got a lot of looks from people hoping the lady with the baby and toddler wasn't going to sit by them.
    Last edited by Bridget; 04-25-2011 at 01:23 PM.

  14. #19214

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    People always did think we were a couple though so we used to have this plan that if someone attractive was near we'd say loudly to the other, "Have you talked to mom today?"
    Priceless. See, it's inside jokes like that that make me miss having my sis in my life.

  15. #19215

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    That is so rude no one offered to help you Myles. I have experienced the same thing. Last summer I flew to MI with Ky, my nephew (who hated water), and Elle, and had to bring her car seat. It was my nephew's first time flying and he was nervous. No one offered to help me either. I thought it was rude then and I think it is rude that you and Bridget didn't get assistance either.

    DH always helps ladies with babies/toddlers at the airport when he is there and he also will tell other men to help ladies with babies/toddlers (in a mean "why the hell aren't you helping" tone of voice) I'm happy that he is helpful like that, though I do chide him that he is more helpful to strangers than to me sometimes.

    I have 2 half sisters but never felt close to them. I only felt close to my older brother, he is 11 months older than me and right now we are the same age. I adored him when we were kids. I still consider him my first love, not romantic, but he was the only person that I was enamored with as a child. He was sweet and funny and silly. I miss him but he is into weed smoking and drinking a lot of alcohol now so he is not the same as he used to be. Whenever I visit though he is very excited and we hang out often. I call him probably 2-3 times a month and he usually doesn't answer his phone. I don't let it bother me but I do worry about him.

    Personally, I don't get why parents bring their kids to daycare when they are sick. I guess some people may lose their jobs or something. I did used to work at a place that fired a friend of mine for taking off work because her newborn son had a heart condition and needed surgery and so she had to go over the 12 week allowed FMLA period. That really sickened me. But if someone has vacation/sick time, I don't understand. I keep Elle home an extra day usually if she is sick. I would hate to have a kid catch something serious from her and she goes to a small daycare. She got strep in January and initially I didn't think it was serious as she didn't have a fever until the second day, so the first day she said her throat was hurting, I just gave her some tea to drink that morning and that evening she got a high fever so I was worried about the kids and my provider getting ill. Luckily they didn't.

    Erin
    Last edited by Ky'sMom; 04-25-2011 at 02:07 PM.

  16. #19216
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    Rich was let go for opting to take Bobbie to the ER rather than working his 13th day in a row without time off. She ended up being admitted for RSV. Around here, more places than not will at least write a parent up for taking off due to a sick child. Sick time is a luxury only offered to civil service employees or academics.

    I don't have a sister. My brother and I are very close though. We almost never argue or have tension between us.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #19217
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    As far as airplanes, I only went the 1 time but I found people were very helpful with Conner. If not helpful, they were all very compassionate and understanding when he had a 2 hour meltdown between Detroit and Phoenix. I was so grateful.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #19218

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    I'm an only child. I used to wish I had an older sister but I'm sure I romanticized it more than it would actually be. LOL

    I'm sorry people weren't helpful on the plane

  19. #19219

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    As for the sick thing, I don't take Josh out of school if he just has a cold and his school doesn't expect me too either. I think schools don't mind that because if a kid had to stay home every time they had a cold, most kids would miss an awful lot of school.
    But when he was sick with that stomach bug I wanted to keep him home until he was clear for at least a day. He ended up missing a whole week and this past week was vacation.

  20. #19220

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    I feel very lucky to have so much PTO time at my job. We don't have seperate vacation and sick days but I get nearly a month worth's of PTO per year. We can also take time off without pay if needed and we get FMLA as well if needed. The benefits here are really the main reason why I took the job since I make less than I could make at a different company but no one in the private sector offers really good benefits IMO either anymore. I can also go part time if needed so that is a plus and I probably will next school year.

    DH gets more PTO than me but he works a federal job with federal benefits.

    Erin

  21. #19221

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    A regular sickness, like just a cough or runny nose doesn't count as "sick" IMO. Most kids I know have a runny nose or cough at some point and I don't really care about that, but stomach illnesses, like you mentioned, or very high fevers bother me since there may be something serious going on. I know most of the time it is not serious, but I would at least think if my kid had a fever that came back after Tylenol or Motrin then they may need to rest at home for a day.

    Erin

  22. #19222
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    I'm dreading our 8 hour flight from England to Newark. We've done it before with just Travis but having 2 kids on the plane seems like an even bigger task.

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I have never sweat so much getting a kid on an airplane by myself. I know I shouldn't expect anyone to step up and help me, but it is so annoying when people see me red in the face, with a kid in the Ergo, cramming a giant carseat in between seats in front of me and dragging a rolling suitcase behind me because it won't fit down the plane aisle, and they just blink and stare. It almost makes it a little satisfying to hit people with my stuff as I pass them on the way down the aisle.
    When I flew to KC with the girls, I seriously was so excited to get to our seats so I could just sit! Its tough! and OMG I lol'd at the bolded part. COMPLETELY agree!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Myles, when I moved over here from Hawaii I was traveling alone with Savana and Kai and couldn't believe how very few people offered to help me. But I sure got a lot of looks from people hoping the lady with the baby and toddler wasn't going to sit by them.
    Seriously!! I flew on Southwest, which has open seating... So I got on, got Audris carseat in the window, sat in the aisle, and let charlie play in the middle seat. We got the entire row to ourselves because no one wanted to sit next to the lady with kids.. Well except the one flight that had ZERO open seats..

    and I didn't have ANYONE offer to help with anything either... Trying to get through security with two kids under 3, a double stroller and a carseat was a nightmare, and instead of people offering to help, they just gave really annoyed sighs, or ran to get into different lines... Seriously!?

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    Oh.. and it is because of the hassles I had flying to KC, that I booked a direct flight from Denver to Fairbanks for our Alaska trip. all I will have to carry through security will be the stroller and the kids. Contemplating just checking the stroller too, since we have no layovers.

  25. #19225

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    We had so many tears last night. Yesterday during daycare naptime dbf took the Savana and Kai out back to go fishing. So let me just give him a quick shout out for that since he's been spending more time with them.
    They came rushing in after they were done with a duck egg. This duck egg might as well have been a golden one for how totally enthralled they were. Savana asked me to put it somewhere safe so I setit on top of the daycare cubbies.
    After dinner I was nursing sawyer when I heard Kai say, with noted devastation, "Oh no, oh no NONONONO!" So I came running out to see he had went down to get the egg and dropped it. Oh my he was just so sad. And then comes Savana and she sees the egg and just melts into a puddle, wailing that the egg was so special to her and this made Kai cry even louder because he adores Savana.
    So I'm trying to gather everyone up in my arms and nurse Sawyer at the same time when Savana says, "I just want to be alone Mama. Can I go lay in your bed?"
    Bravo Savana! I mean, what a mature and productive way to deal with her sad feelings, right? So she goes and I can hear her getting it all out and sobbing about the egg while I balance Kai and Sawyer. Hold on Sawyer's awake.

  26. #19226

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    Okay, so then I hear Mark go in the room and then I hear Savana screaming at him. He comes out saying how she should not be allowed to act like that and I ask what he said to her and he tells me he told her she was making poor choices by getting so upset about the duck egg.
    Dooooooood. Whyyyyyy??? Do you see how he sort of kind of uses the words he hears me use like saying "poor choices" but everything else about it is wrong wrong wrong. I've been working with Savana so hard and finding ways to feel her feelings without being destructive and hurtful and she totally did the right thing here and he just squashed it. Later in bed she told me the reason the duck was so special to her was that dad had to try really hard to get it for her and that made her feel like it was so special. So it was because of her love and admiration of HIM that she was so sad to lose it in the first place.
    I just wish more than anything in the world I could get him to understand how important it is for him to choose the right words at the right time. To just listen to them and let them feel what they feel without his judgement.
    Last edited by Bridget; 04-26-2011 at 06:10 AM.

  27. #19227

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    I hear you, Bridget. That's one thing I've been trying to do. Just to say "I understand" more often really helps us.

  28. #19228
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    Ugh, Bridget I wish I had some advice. He can't have thought that was a good thing to say?!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #19229

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I hear you, Bridget. That's one thing I've been trying to do. Just to say "I understand" more often really helps us.
    Exactly. How good does it feel to have someone just understand?
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Ugh, Bridget I wish I had some advice. He can't have thought that was a good thing to say?!
    I would think not. He just let his own annoyance at the crying extravaganza cloud his judgement. He went to bed at 8pm with Kai so clearly he was really tired but I still expect better. I'm tired too.

  30. #19230
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    Did you later tell him why the egg was so special to her? I think he should feel like a heel.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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