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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #19171
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    Aw Katy, what a bummer You'd think that if they were going to have Jojo, then they'd keep a lid on the drinking.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #19172
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    Sorry to hear that, Katy. Sounds like something my parents would have done in the past before my mother gave up drinking.

    Travis has just found the 3 chocolate eggs that the Easter Bunny left for him. We're off to Lotherton Hall later for a picnic and then coming back home for an egg hunt.

  3. #19173
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Katy, I hope the rest of your weekend improves.

    Rain here. This changes my planned playground expedition this morning and egg hunt this afternoon. Here is another view of our Easter egg tree. I like the polka dot ones the best.


    I worked four days this week, instead of my usual 3, and it was tough. With a 3-hour total commute one of those days and a little overtime, and no time to do chores on days off, I felt like I was coming home and just going non-stop. On Wednesday I came home, made dinner, did the dishes, did a load of laundry, put it away, cleaned the cat litter, swept and mopped the floors, and cleaned the bathrooms. On Thursday, I got home half an hour before the twins' bedtime, so I only had time to make sandwiches for dinner. Still, I had to do another load of laundry because dh had gone through three changes of clothes that day. And dishes again. Dh is working on weekends, lately, so I'm not getting any chance to rest. I have all three kids by myself for fun and errands and showers, most likely.

    I'm so tired. At least I got to sleep in until 5:30 today. Okay, this is the last time I'm going to itemize all the stuff I was doing every night after work last week.


  4. #19174
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    Dang Lydia! You can come give me some motivation any time. I sit at home all day and cannot make myself budge off this dang chair. (well, sometimes I get up)

    **Lizzo**

  5. #19175
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    Your egg tree is beautiful Lydia. I'm sorry you're so busy. Will things slow down at all for you?

    I'm currently in bed watching Lifetime, being lazy and waiting for dh to come home with the kids. He took them over to his mothers. The easter bunny hid baskets of candy around the house. I can't wait to see Conner find his.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #19176

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    Lydia, I got tired just reading your post. I have to say that feels like every day around here. Nursing is my saving grace because I get to sit down. Dbf was really stepping it up for a minute there but he's been falling back lately. For example, this morning I was making waffles, bacon, eggs while he held Sawyer (at his computer, ALWAYS. Never 100% focused on the baby. I hate it). When Sawyer got fussy he came and gave him to me, standing in front of the stove, and went back to the computer.
    I calmly and politely asked him if he could help me make breakfast but in my head I was cussing like a sailor.

  7. #19177
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    Poop Bridget, I really hoped that Sawyer's birth would be a turning point for your dbf. Did you ask him what's going on? Maybe he's just tired and instead of talking to you he's just withdrawing? I'm trying to be nice...I think if it were me at the stove when he brought the baby over, he would have heard a wrath of furry from me.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #19178
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Bridget, I hardly ever pay 100% attention to Soren (confession). I'm frequently multitasking. Most of the time when I'm on the computer he's with me.


  9. #19179

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    I think this stage is really hard for guys. The baby doesn't do anything, the guy doesn't understand the cries and doesn't know what the heck to do. (not trying to stick up for your dbf, but hoping that this isn't a permanent slacking off again)
    You can't go out and throw a ball around with a baby, or teach him how to fix stuff, or even really play. Guys (at least the ones I know) feel useful when they can teach that kind of stuff.

  10. #19180
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    That may be true Kate, but I think it should be obvious when the mom is already occupied doing something else that she can't easily do both. It would have been nice if he had offered to take over cooking breakfast while she tended to Sawyer.

    Maybe that's expecting too much. Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm easily annoyed although I don't like to think I am.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #19181

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    That may be true Kate, but I think it should be obvious when the mom is already occupied doing something else that she can't easily do both. It would have been nice if he had offered to take over cooking breakfast while she tended to Sawyer.

    Maybe that's expecting too much. Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm easily annoyed although I don't like to think I am.
    I agree so I may expect too much as well, but I am also easily annoyed.

    Luckily, even though my DH is PITA a lot of times, if he sees I'm busy, he will entertain the kids, especially Elle, who basically has him running all over the place. If she needs to use the restroom or needs help with something he won't bother me about it, but that took years of me telling him how much it annoyed me when he would do nothing. He still doesn't do a lot of things I think he should but I don't have to worry about him bringing a kid to me. If he does then usually something is wrong with the kid so it is warranted.

    DH would rather play with kids (or bore them to death with one of his lectures) versus cooking or doing other chores.

    Erin

  12. #19182

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    Sorry Bridget. Maybe you could strap a baby carrier onto your dbf and hand him the vacuum.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  13. #19183

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    That's true. DH is bad with that too. He'll be supposedly keeping Josh occupied while I make dinner or something and Josh will keep running in and getting in the way.
    We went to the circus today and Josh didn't like it. He liked it better than last year.
    DH has this thing where he has to be insanely early for everything and we sat waiting at the circus for like an hour. Josh was already getting antsy just waiting so when the circus started, he got restless fast. I don't think we'll be going back for at least a couple years.

  14. #19184

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    Now that dbf has shown me he is capable, I expect more.
    And I understand multitasking. I pretty much only use the computer while nursing these days. I feel like the little time he spends, he can take his hand off the mouse. He's got plenty of time to hang on the computer.
    Or like y'all said, then cook breakfast. He does it sometimes so I know he understands what needs to happen for things to run smoothly. He just doesn't feel like it sometimes. Not feeling like it is not an option for me so maybe I am a little bitter about that. Which is my issue, not his, i suppose.

  15. #19185
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    Waiting a whole hour must have been hard for Josh Heck, I have a hard time waiting that long!! lol

    We went to Lowes to get cost estimates for things we want to do at the house and Conner didn't cooperate at all. He was running around the store and threw his dinosaur at us, but it hit a display instead. Rich said he was glad we weren't in the window section. Neither of us could get him to behave at all, so we ended up leaving.

    I think Conner might have anxiety issues. If we talk about doing anything different, he doesn't want to do it. When school would come up before, he'd get really upset and insist he didn't want to go. When we went to registration, he fought about going but once he was there and saw all the little kids, he was happy and went with them without looking back at me.

    The same kind of thing is happening about moving. He really doesn't want to move at all. I want to talk to him about it so he's not confused, but I hate making him so worried. He was afraid we were going to leave his toys, but assuring him we'd take them didn't seem to help. I'm sure once we move, it will be ok. But I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good by trying to talk about it. I don't do it constantly, but if something is going on and it seems like an appropriate time I'll say, "When we move _____."

    He's been very resistant to getting his hair cut. He always has been. Usually Rich gets fed up and shaved it with clippers. I really don't want that to happen again, so my brother is planning on taking him tomorrow. We've mentioned getting his hair cut for weeks, and he always gets upset and says no. I know if I tell him he's going with Uncle Tim tomorrow, he'll get really upset and might even have a melt down in the morning about going to G'mas house. So...I'm not going to tell him. I think that if Uncle Tim just takes him along, he'll be ok about it especially since Tim is having his cut first. But I don't know. I hate springing things on him, but this is kind of a test to see.

    I just don't know how to prepare Conner for changes without getting him upset.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #19186
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Now that dbf has shown me he is capable, I expect more.
    And I understand multitasking. I pretty much only use the computer while nursing these days. I feel like the little time he spends, he can take his hand off the mouse. He's got plenty of time to hang on the computer.
    Or like y'all said, then cook breakfast. He does it sometimes so I know he understands what needs to happen for things to run smoothly. He just doesn't feel like it sometimes. Not feeling like it is not an option for me so maybe I am a little bitter about that. Which is my issue, not his, i suppose.
    I'm sorry Bridget but I think it is his issue. As a grown up we all have to do things we don't feel like doing. I'd have a hard time not telling him that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #19187

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    Yeah, it is difficult to get Josh used to change, too. He loves plans and hates any disruption in what he has been told will come next, or if there is something outside the norm. I just try to warn him way in advance and give him something to look forward to. Have you tried a kids only hair place? We have a place called snip its that is supposed to specialize in kids who don't like getting their hair cut.

    I have to make a lot of things like a game. Josh will wolf down his food if he thinks it's daddy's food. If dh teases him and says you're eating my chicken? Josh will giggle and eat it all.
    I wouldn't make a big deal out of moving. When it happens it happens and he will probably miss the old place. Like I said, Josh still says he wishes we lived at the old place. We switched gyms months ago and he still talks wistfully about the old one (even though the new one is much better IMO). But it's like when you keep warning certain kids that they're getting a shot. It just makes it worse. Maybe that's the case with Connor.

  18. #19188

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    My aunt just posted this on facebook.
    And remember: Obama is NOT a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who
    gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus
    I like that.

  19. #19189
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah, it is difficult to get Josh used to change, too. He loves plans and hates any disruption in what he has been told will come next, or if there is something outside the norm. I just try to warn him way in advance and give him something to look forward to. Have you tried a kids only hair place? We have a place called snip its that is supposed to specialize in kids who don't like getting their hair cut.

    I have to make a lot of things like a game. Josh will wolf down his food if he thinks it's daddy's food. If dh teases him and says you're eating my chicken? Josh will giggle and eat it all.
    I wouldn't make a big deal out of moving. When it happens it happens and he will probably miss the old place. Like I said, Josh still says he wishes we lived at the old place. We switched gyms months ago and he still talks wistfully about the old one (even though the new one is much better IMO). But it's like when you keep warning certain kids that they're getting a shot. It just makes it worse. Maybe that's the case with Connor.
    That's just it, I don't want a haircut, moving, or suddenly going to school to be a great big surprise that confuses the heck out of him. But merely mentioning those things stresses him out. I stopped talking about moving...I figure we can bring it up again when we go to the house to open it up, turn on the electric, and start the clean-up process.

    I'm not telling him he's getting a hair cut tomorrow. Judging how he was when he actually got to kindergarten registration, I think he would have been better off not knowing about it ahead of time, so that's what we're going to do about his hair cut.

    He's like that about washing it too. It still takes both Rich and I to do it, and there's lots of tears and screaming. It hurts my heart, but I just cannot talk to him or get him to try anything. Not even try to wash my hair first.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #19190

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    Aw
    I don't know, it sounds like he's sensitive to something, but I'm not sure what it could be. I wish we could get inside their little minds sometimes.
    Is it water on his face that he doesnt like, or just the whole act of washing the hair?

  21. #19191
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    He doesn't like his hair touched at all. He won't let us brush it or anything. It's long enough now that most people mistake him for a girl when they meet him for the first time. It's to the bottom of his neck!

    I was talking to Rich about it and I think that he'll be fine getting his hair cut. For some reason, talking about it makes him anxious but he has always been that way. Rich has shaved it 2x a year and he's gone to a barber shop before and was fine.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #19192

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    I hope it goes smoothly!

  23. #19193
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    Thanks. I hate making him do anything that upsets him, so I hope he has fun with it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #19194

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    Oh yeah, it breaks my heart whenever his little face crumples and he starts to cry

  25. #19195

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    I hope Conner will have no issues with his haircut.

    Elle is anxious about taking baths of all things. But that is actually something that seems to run in my family, a fear of water. I used to try to talk to her about it and give her detailed steps about what is going to take place, same as I do for Ky, but she doesn't care about any of that. I figure it is her age though. She REALLY doesn't like water on her head or in her face or in her ears. She will literally freak out. I now just don't say anything about it except to remain very calm while she is getting a bath and when she screams about water being in her face I tell her that I see it and it is just water and asks her does she want to blow bubbles LOL (I keep a bubble container in the bathroom). That doesn't work all the time but 50/50. She now only gets baths 3 times a week. It used to bother me and I used to think I was doing her a disservice by not bathing her every day, I do wash her face and hands before bed but I just don't want her to scream for the whole time she is taking a bath. She is getting better, but I figure that is just how she is about water. I used to be kind of like that but just got over it eventually. I have a nephew who used to be worse than her, he would scream when he heard the bath water running or when you even mentioned the word "bath." I couldn't believe it that he actually put his face in the water this past summer when we went swimming during his visit. Even his mom was amazed as he had never done that before. He is 9 years old.

    Erin

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    I confess we had a great day. We had a communal easter dinner at my friends house, so it was her, her boyfriend, their three kids, my mom, me and the girls, and Randy (dbf) and his daughter. After dinner we went and played outside, blowing bubbles and flying kites. Here are a few pics... Adding links because the pics are bigger than I'd like, and I am too lazy to resize...

    We got Crayola's washable colored bubbles.... They do wash, but boy are they messy to play with!!!

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...08&id=64100559

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...d0&id=64100559

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...05&id=64100559

  27. #19197

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    Great pictures Ash! Glad you had a nice day.
    Josh hates water on his face. I want to get him swimming lessons this summer but I'm nervous about his reaction. I asked him if he wanted to learn how to swim and he said "Yes but only on top of the water, not under"

  28. #19198
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    Chrissy, don't think I'm crazy, but I'm going to suggest you try something like a social story with Conner about the haircut thing. I just googled social story and haircut and came up with a ton of stuff - this one is pretty good although you'd want to change it a little. Basically, a social story explains what is going to happen, acknowledges what is stressful/uncomfortable about the situation, and suggests some positives that will come from the situation, all written in a positive way that describes what happens (instead of giving instructions about what to do). We use them a lot in therapy, but it just seems like this would be a great situation to try that. Moving is another situation you might want to try a social story for - and there are probably a ton of moving themed social stories also out there. See if it works - I learned about these as a therapy tool and remembered back to my childhood, my sister used to write "mouse stories" for me that were almost exactly the same. I think one was about a mouse with long whiskers who refused to get her whiskers cut, and kept tripping over them in ballet class. Kind of made me laugh.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #19199
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    Erin, we only make Conner take a bath once or twice a week. I think he's ok though. Like you, I'll wash his hands and face and obviously if he gets dirty playing outside then he gets a bath!

    Ashley- your girls! They're adorable! Beautiful sky too. I'm jealous! It's done nothing but rain with some snow mixed in for 2 weeks (or more?) and it appears it's going to rain and t-storm all this week too. Boo.

    Mandy-thanks for that! I never heard of social stories. I'll try them with Conner.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #19200
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    Binghmaton nor Ithaca seem to offer anything like what other places have for kid hair cuts. There's no special place with cartoon-like things to sit on, movies of kids shows, or anything like that. There are simply regular beauticians and barbers that offer cuts for children, and will give a lollipop after it's done. Conner doesn't like lollipops.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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