Secular Confessions

[daylilies]

Oh, and those toe nibbling fish sort of creep me out. It bothers me to think that they're eating my toe funk.

[Cosmosmom]

Was the old navy dressing area both men and women? I could see if two adults were shopping with a kid but only one was trying on things.
DH feels that outside the dressing rooms, they should have a TV playing football and comfortable chairs for the men. He's a pretty good sport shopping with me....and likes places where they have seats right near the dressing rooms since unless something is awful (or something like bras), I usually come out and show it to him. He's good at confirming my opinion either way about what is flattering on me and what is not.

[Cosmosmom]

I saw the fish thing on a TV story. I would NOT do it but mostly because I have really ticklish feet....so much that even a massage, I generally have them skip the feet and by that point I'm really relaxed. So no kind of pedicure for me.

[daylilies]

Yeah, they just have a few dressing rooms in a row that anyone can go into.
I never take DH clothes shopping with me. I can't really make good decisions with someone else there.

[Gwenn]

DH will sometimes go into a store with me but he's really impatient and if I want to try things on he thinks I'm insane. So I don't usually bring him along when I shop, although sometimes I do.

We did go to the mall yesterday - I mentioned about the restroom story. He told me later he was uncomfortable when I was gone and started to become overwhelmed by all the sounds and things on the wall. He was totally fine while I was there but when he was alone it was too much for him. So I suspect I won't be leaving him anywhere for a while. I wonder if I need to take DH in the restroom with me?

It's nice to know I make him feel safe, at least.

[Bridget]

Mark always wanted me (back when we used to have money to shop) to show him the clothes I was trying on. I only would if I liked it and he's get so annoyed.
Can we get this thread moving along so my pic isn't at the top of the page?

[missychrissy]

Bridget-you look adorable! I'd let you cut my hair!

I have no idea if ShamWows work or not as we've never had any. Jesi is always pulling things like that off the cuff and cracking me up.

Most houses here have basements, but a few have crawl spaces. I've seen houses literally jacked up so new foundation/basement walls can be put in. I hope ours wouldn't need that.

[missychrissy]

DH will sometimes go into a store with me but he's really impatient and if I want to try things on he thinks I'm insane. So I don't usually bring him along when I shop, although sometimes I do.

We did go to the mall yesterday - I mentioned about the restroom story. He told me later he was uncomfortable when I was gone and started to become overwhelmed by all the sounds and things on the wall. He was totally fine while I was there but when he was alone it was too much for him. So I suspect I won't be leaving him anywhere for a while. I wonder if I need to take DH in the restroom with me?

It's nice to know I make him feel safe, at least.

I was thinking that as I read your post.

I do hope it gets easier for him soon.

[daylilies]

Hahah Bridget. Spam away!
Mandy, my heart goes out to your husband I can't imagine the kind of culture shock he's going through now that he's back home.
I often think about doing something to work with military people who have come back home..but i don't know what I could do to help. Do you know of any volunteer services I could do? I would like to work on a support hotline or something but I don't know if they require some kind of psychology background for that.

[Gwenn]

I was thinking that as I read your post.

I do hope it gets easier for him soon.

He just needs time, I think. He's dealing really well with things.

[missychrissy]

Rich & I went shopping together and I was trying on bikinis while he went to find some sneakers. I took a pic of myself in the mirror, changed, and when I was out of the fitting room I sent it to him. He came running...it was quite funny. We rarely shop together.

That was the night we went to dinner and I drank a pomegranate martini at Olive Garden. Man was it potent! I couldn't drive so we killed time in a store.

[Gwenn]

Kate, I'm honestly not the best person to ask because I'm so far away from DH's battalion and he's determined to do everything himself. Do you know Robin0402? Her husband is an active duty soldier and was wounded in action and she's a member of tons of support groups. She would be a great person to ask who you might get involved with. She's given me a ton of advice that I might not have gotten through this without.

[daylilies]

Wow! I usually get the peach sangria at Olive Garden. It's yummy.

[daylilies]

Thanks Mandy, I'll try to contact her.

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy, I really just cannot even imagine how hard it must be. It is shameful that there are not more support services. It is nice though that being with you seems to really help.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok still not the next page yet.....

So what should I have for dinner? DH agreed to scope out some ellipticals with me tonight and he's also going with me to JoAnns for scrapbooking supplies.....two things he doesn't want to do so he asked if we could eat out. Except he wants me to decide what we should get.
There's Olive Garden, Mexican, Chinese......

[missychrissy]

I vote Olive Garden Try the pomegranate martini.

[Bridget]

Personally, I choose mexican every time.

[Gwenn]

Actually there is a ton of support out there. There are lots of information sessions and there's actually a training that Robin told me about that I can send him to for 3 weeks that's supposed to help with PTSD. My issue is DH's attitude. He basically has the opinion that he's been through all this before and can handle it, and that some of what he has been trained to be alert for (such as being more aware of his surroundings) is a GOOD thing and he doesn't want it trained out of him by a workshop. I'm just patient with him. He HAS been through this before and if I saw anything that really worried me I'd insist he get some professional help. I honestly think it's a good thing that he can tell me straight out of something overwhelms or overstimulates him. He recognizes it, he's not internalizing it, and we can both make adjustments for the situation. In many ways it's a LOT like dealing with my kids with autism who have sensory processing issues, to be honest, so I feel like I'm pretty well equipped to deal with it. But like I said, if I saw any emotional outbursts or anything like that I would get support for that right away. It IS out there and it's something the military is really bending over backwards to be supportive over because of what has happened in the past.

[demigraf]

*** posting again to move thread to next page for bridget ***

I get overwhelmed by malls too, Mandy. I do feel for your DH.

It's funny with all this talk of dresses and malls because I just so happened to be in one last night. I ran in to get some fro-yo and got sucked into a dress shop. So, ok, I totally broke my promise to myself to only sew my own clothes this year.

At some point last year, I made 2 pronouncements to myself: 1) I was not going to add any more florals to my wardrobe. 2) I had decided that, after years of trying out styles I thought looked good on other people (along the lines of vintage, goth and Brooklyn/Berkeley "hipster") I came to the conclusion that the look that's most "me" is Ethnic Bohemian, as influenced by my coloring, attraction to wild color palettes, and love of travel. It was a really big deal to me that I discovered that about myself. Like, I thought it was a step towards knowing myself more.

So what do I find when I go into the mall? Forever 21, loaded to the hilt with non-floral, ethno-Bohemian prints (like Ikat patterns, which I'm mad about at the moment) in all these bright colors. I try not to shop that store because it makes me feel old and I heard about their worker abuses about 10 years ago. But I ended up caving and buying 3 dresses yesterday (which I'll probably wear over and over again for the next 10 years or so). It was so exactly the style I'd decided was me last year, that now I'm suspicious that my big moment of revelation about my "personal style" was nothing more than the subtle influence of Vogue magazine and billboards, now trickled down to mass-produced clothes in mall shops.

**smacking self on forehead**

[demigraf]

Ha! and I did it! I turned the page!!

[Gwenn]

Oh, and on dinner - I never eat Mexican outside of the Southwest. I don't even like the Mexican food in Phoenix. It's pretty much Tucson or Mexico as far as I'm concerned! So I wouldn't get the Mexican - but I love Mexican food!

[Ky'sMom]

Personally, I choose mexican every time.

Me too. I'm way too predictable.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I can't limit myself to just one style of clothes.

Or maybe I do. Jeans/t-shirt. But when I want to 'dress' I have everything from elegant dresses to hippie-like maxis. And Barbie-doll skirts-very short and tight.

[Gwenn]

It was so exactly the style I'd decided was me last year, that now I'm suspicious that my big moment of revelation about my "personal style" was nothing more than the subtle influence of Vogue magazine and billboards, now trickled down to mass-produced clothes in mall shops.

This is hilarious! LOL!

Ha! and I did it! I turned the page!!

You didn't for me? Is that possible?

[Gwenn]

You all need to come out here and have some real Mexican food!

[daylilies]

When we go out to eat I usually pick something that has basic seafood. Just a nice salmon or swordfish steak is really good to me. It has to be a good seafood place though, not like a steak house that slapped a salmon filet on the menu as an afterthought...
I'm still figuring out what looks good on me. I was overweight for the past 3 years (and a good bit of time in my mid 20's too) and i just never really cared to get clothes that suited me. Now that I have somewhat of a figure I'm trying to feel out what flatters me. I have a small chest but big thighs and hips, I think (and a big butt LOL) I love mid length dresses that kind of flare out, and have an empire waist or a sash right under the chest to accentuate it. I also like flowy dresses and skirts. But I have no idea what any of these styles are called, so I don't know how to look for them online or ask for them in stores.

[Gwenn]

My wardrobe is basically filled with all the same things. I dress down for work because I work for kids, although in the new position I don't get as physical with the kids so I tell myself I'm going to make an effort to dress more professionally. Right now it's mostly jeans, cords, and tops. I don't wear basic t-shirts but I have a lot of tops say from Loft and the like. I just recently decided I needed some dresses and skirts in my life and am going to make an effort to get more, but I feel really boring most of the time. I do have a weakness for bohemian sort of tops - anything flowy with an ethnic sort of embroidery or print and I will buy it right away.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh, and on dinner - I never eat Mexican outside of the Southwest. I don't even like the Mexican food in Phoenix. It's pretty much Tucson or Mexico as far as I'm concerned! So I wouldn't get the Mexican - but I love Mexican food!

LOL Well I'm guessing that being up in Northern WI (furthest south I have been is Vegas on the western side of the country), I am probably eating mostly highly americanized mexican food. Not Taco Bell....but I do love a place called Burrachos (like Chiptole but I think better). And we have another place locally that the owners are from Mexico and they serve a LOT of seafood and they claim to be "authentic". I don't like seafood but they have yummy drinks and a few non-fish dishes that are good.
BUT I was thinking of making tacos myself tomorrow......

[missychrissy]

We had tacos last night at home. Yum!!

I have a question. It'll probably sound stupid but....if a local restaurant is ethnically owned, wouldn't their food be superior? I mean, I can understand not liking chain Mexican restaurants, but if real Mexicans ran a store in upstate NY, wouldn't their food taste authentic?

I'm not well traveled and I want to know.