Secular Confessions

[Cosmosmom]

Ok I changed my mind.....if DH wanted to go camping really bad, THAT he could do without me. LOL

We actually had a fight Friday night that spiraled out of control. We were drinking some white wine watching the Brewers...they lost he got crabby and went on the message board. I waited at least a half hour and drank a bunch more wine. Finally I said I was going to bed and went to bed. He must not have heard me and came in after I was sleeping, flipped on the lights and started a fight. He said his feelings were hurt because I ditched him and went to bed, my version is I said goodnight and went to bed. I wasn't mad at that point. When I got up to use the bathroom, he freaking took the covers and went in the guest room and locked the door. Now THAT ticked me off big time. I pitched a fit and he gave the covers back....I said I didn't want to talk, I had a drunk a lot of wine, was woken up from sleeping and was going to bed. I went to bed and slept. He said he didn't sleep much because we don't go to bed angry (I was almost drunk so couldn't have stayed up if I tried)......and by the time I got up, he thought I didn't love him anymore and didn't want to be with him. OMG. Like I said, he is as needy, if not more than me......and extremely sensitive. I'm sure that my version is skewed since I had been asleep and I had drunk most of a bottle of wine. But I'm not sure how he got me going to bed at 11pm as this personal thing against him and turning that into I didn't love him anymore. Especially since we have been together 13 years and never once have broken up and don't fight very often.
Thankfully the rest of Saturday and Sunday was fine!

[missychrissy]

I know it's not funny, but I find a bit of humor in how easy things can get out of control when there's a little alcohol involved. I'm glad it wasn't worse. It must not have been fun

For most things I don't take what Rich says seriously when he's had a little. I learned a long time ago that that's not the time to have any kind of a normal discussion with him. But some of our worst arguments have had alcohol involved, that's for sure.

[Cosmosmom]

Or more than a little alcohol. Funny part is that I went to bed, hoping he would join me for some fun. I fell asleep waiting....I wasn't mad. He totally missed my hints and thought I was mad....it was the next day he thought I didn't love him because I didn't want to talk things out while I was pretty tipsy and needed sleep.
Even drinking, I keep good control of what I say because I know just how sensitive he is (his second stepdad that he had for 15 years was emotionally abusive to him and even worse on his mom and his mom is about to get her third divorce so I know where it comes from what his triggers are and am VERY careful with that.....much different than my childhood which was pretty ideal and my parents are going on 37 years of marriage).

Actually there came up a question in the class last week about if we would do parenting different than how we were parented....everyone said yes they would except me. There is only one thing I would change....the eating veggies and more variety. My dad is super picky and my mom tried but he would say yuck and gross (stupid of him) so of course we grew up eating not a whole lot....burgers, pizza, spaghetti, mac and cheese, noodles, some fruits, cereal, sandwiches and not a whole ton else. I didn't have tacos or chinese until I was 19 yrs old. I am so much better now and thank god that DH loves his veggies....we usually have at least 2 different ones every day (more than one serving per person) and usually at least 2 different fruits a day. It's one thing to be picky but I don't want to create another super picky eater.

[daylilies]

It makes me so mad when I know I'm a little tipsy and I'm trying to form a coherent argument and I know it's not coming out right, but I'm not a good debater when I'm not drunk, let alone when I am.
By far our worst arguments have been when we're drunk, too. Our annual big fights around Christmas are usually started when we're drunk.
We both had some whiskey last night, but not enough to argue about anything. We watched a silly show, played on the computer and went to bed.

[Bridget]

I am a really, really happy drunk. You have to try really hard to get me to argue. I just want to have fun!!
I am sure this will come as a surprise to you all that dbf is a terrible drunk. He becomes totally beligerent, cocky, and narrow minded. The last time I took him with me to have drinks with my friends I was mortified by his behavior. Everyone was looking at me with pity in their eyes and it made me want to melt into the floor. He had diarrhea of the mouth and it was horrible. I told him after that night I was never taking him with me again and I haven't.

[missychrissy]

We're a lot alike in that Bridget. If I'm drinking with Rich and he's just a little short with me, it usually goes right past me and I don't even notice because I just like to have fun. Well, there was one exception recently but I think with all the stress with Jesi and the mortgage business, I wasn't in a frame of mind to go out anyway and probably shouldn't have. I've never gotten snippy when drunk before. I hope it was stress induced and not an indication that my mood is changing with alcohol. That would take all the fun out of it.

And I'm embarrassed to admit this, but Rich was like you described your dbf the last time we went out for a family dinner. He only had one tall glass of beer, but I suspect he had more at home before we went out because he acted awful. He was rude to the waitress and I was mortified. I also told him I'd never go out on family date night with him ever again. Poor Bobbie actually had an anxiety attack over it.

It was bad enough that he did that and ruined everyones night, but it really rankled me because for all of us to go out it's over $100. I spent $125 for a miserable night. If I had known he was drinking before we left, I would have saved that money.

[daylilies]

I'm usually a happy drunk, and so is DH but sometimes it goes horribly wrong and we both become angry, bitter drunks.
I usually act like a normal outgoing person when I drink. I show DH things I've found online that I'd be embarrassed to show him if i were sober and I play NKOTB without caring if DH likes it or not
Then there's that fine line between a few and a few too many. If I have a few too many (which I don't unless Josh is with someone else), I cry.

[missychrissy]

No fun Kate. That would suck.

[Bridget]

I'm usually a happy drunk, and so is DH but sometimes it goes horribly wrong and we both become angry, bitter drunks.
I usually act like a normal outgoing person when I drink. I show DH things I've found online that I'd be embarrassed to show him if i were sober and I play NKOTB without caring if DH likes it or not
Then there's that fine line between a few and a few too many. If I have a few too many (which I don't unless Josh is with someone else), I cry.

When I used to go out drinking with my brother (and that was all the time pre-kids) we'd always quietly laugh at the cryers. He'd be like, "Aaand, we got a cryer!" I make us sound mean but we really aren't.

[Bridget]

We're a lot alike in that Bridget. If I'm drinking with Rich and he's just a little short with me, it usually goes right past me and I don't even notice because I just like to have fun. Well, there was one exception recently but I think with all the stress with Jesi and the mortgage business, I wasn't in a frame of mind to go out anyway and probably shouldn't have. I've never gotten snippy when drunk before. I hope it was stress induced and not an indication that my mood is changing with alcohol. That would take all the fun out of it.

And I'm embarrassed to admit this, but Rich was like you described your dbf the last time we went out for a family dinner. He only had one tall glass of beer, but I suspect he had more at home before we went out because he acted awful. He was rude to the waitress and I was mortified. I also told him I'd never go out on family date night with him ever again. Poor Bobbie actually had an anxiety attack over it.

It was bad enough that he did that and ruined everyones night, but it really rankled me because for all of us to go out it's over $100. I spent $125 for a miserable night. If I had known he was drinking before we left, I would have saved that money.

That would have burned me up too.
The worst for me is when he comes home after he's had a few and is all loud and full of himself. I tell him to look around, He's in his living room, not the nightclub. Ain't impressing nobody around here.

I very much prefer to drink with my girlfriends or my brother who is gay so he's like a girlfriend.

[AmeriBrit]

DH and I are both happy drunks. Or as they say over here, we like to be "merry." DH usually is exceedingly funny with dance moves galore when he's had too much too drink. I just laugh at everything and probably talk more than normal. And if I have tooooo much, I get really sleepy. I once fell asleep on the toilet in a night club and DH had to get a female friend to go find me. LOL.

[Bridget]

DH and I are both happy drunks. Or as they say over here, we like to be "merry." DH usually is exceedingly funny with dance moves galore when he's had too much too drink. I just laugh at everything and probably talk more than normal. And if I have tooooo much, I get really sleepy. I once fell asleep on the toilet in a night club and DH had to get a female friend to go find me. LOL.

[Cosmosmom]

I am usually a happy drunk...laughing and wanting to dance and play games. Eventually it turns to sleepy drunk. Once in a while if I'm in a mood already, than you get crying drunk....last time that happened was new years eve and it was BAD. My eyes were swollen the next morning. My BFF had just had her baby and it hit me really hard. it was after that night that we decided that we were definitely going to go through with the adoption process instead of just talking about it. Don't think that I have cried since (maybe once or twice for a movie or TV but not all out bawling).

My DH has never been drunk. he will have a glass or two of wine (prefers reisling) or 1-2 bottles of Mikes hard lemonade or if we have it, some barcardi rum in lemonade. That is it. he's not even sure that he has ever been buzzed.

[missychrissy]

DH and I are both happy drunks. Or as they say over here, we like to be "merry." DH usually is exceedingly funny with dance moves galore when he's had too much too drink. I just laugh at everything and probably talk more than normal. And if I have tooooo much, I get really sleepy. I once fell asleep on the toilet in a night club and DH had to get a female friend to go find me. LOL.

That's funny!

I am usually a happy drunk...laughing and wanting to dance and play games. Eventually it turns to sleepy drunk. Once in a while if I'm in a mood already, than you get crying drunk....last time that happened was new years eve and it was BAD. My eyes were swollen the next morning. My BFF had just had her baby and it hit me really hard. it was after that night that we decided that we were definitely going to go through with the adoption process instead of just talking about it. Don't think that I have cried since (maybe once or twice for a movie or TV but not all out bawling).

My DH has never been drunk. he will have a glass or two of wine (prefers reisling) or 1-2 bottles of Mikes hard lemonade or if we have it, some barcardi rum in lemonade. That is it. he's not even sure that he has ever been buzzed.

Aww Jennifer

I can't believe your dh has never been buzzed

I get a bit flirty when I drink. I like to dance and will dance with anybody...or by myself. I don't care. I will smile at guys and pretend they're the most interesting thing in the world, just to see if they'll buy me a drink. It's like an inner contest to me...to see if I can get drunk and only spend $5 of my own money. Men are suckers and it's just too easy in a bar to flatter them. I stay just to this side of being 'too' drunk and I'm never inappropriate (no touching, kissing, or even suggestive remarks on my part).

I made a mistake though because I took Rich with me one time and I drank up. He was there, after all, and I didn't feel like I needed to keep my wits about me. I ended up on the dance floor alone, as per usual, and a 25 year old came up to dance with me. I don't remember it, but Rich said he put his hand on my butt. Oops! I try to assure him that I never drink that much when he's not with me, but I'm not sure he believes me since I haven't gone out without him since.

I really don't overdue it when it's just me and my sil though, because I wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of me. I'm not foolish enough to think I could fight off a rapist if I were 1/2 in the bag.

[daylilies]

LOL Bridget. It's really embarassing when I cry. I'd let you make fun of me

[The10Eels]

I think the last time I got drunk was my birthday last year. ( Side note-- I can't believe my birthday is less than a month away already! holy eff!)

I think getting drunk will only be an annual thing for me.

I am a very flirty drunk too... but don't usually get hit on much at the bar.. so I end up flirting with my friends that I go out with, and texting...... oy... I should NOT be allowed to take my phone to the bar with me.

[The10Eels]

I confess I have been thinking alot lately about having another baby...... Or NOT having another I should say..

I am so happy with my two girls, and I don't think I want another baby....

When I was pregnant with Charlie, B and I had talked about getting my tubes tied *if* she was a boy. We would have been done.... The only reason I didn't go through with it then, was because she was a girl, and he so desperately wanted a son...

Now because of that decision to try to make him happy, I am having to worry about protection (have the mirena, but I am SUCH a worry wart) when I could have just been done with it...

I confess I find myself holding a slight grudge against B for this all...

Maybe its because what would have been our anniversary is coming up.... who knows...

[missychrissy]

I think the last time I got drunk was my birthday last year. ( Side note-- I can't believe my birthday is less than a month away already! holy eff!)

I think getting drunk will only be an annual thing for me.

I am a very flirty drunk too... but don't usually get hit on much at the bar.. so I end up flirting with my friends that I go out with, and texting...... oy... I should NOT be allowed to take my phone to the bar with me.

I didn't ever drink when the girls were growing up. Maybe a couple drinks at new years at home and that was it. I used to get tipsy (er drunk) on 2 wine coolers!!

Only in the last 2 years did I start going out like to a bar, and that's mostly because my SIL is single and needs a gal pal to hang with. I enjoy it though.

[missychrissy]

I confess I have been thinking alot lately about having another baby...... Or NOT having another I should say..

I am so happy with my two girls, and I don't think I want another baby....

When I was pregnant with Charlie, B and I had talked about getting my tubes tied *if* she was a boy. We would have been done.... The only reason I didn't go through with it then, was because she was a girl, and he so desperately wanted a son...

Now because of that decision to try to make him happy, I am having to worry about protection (have the mirena, but I am SUCH a worry wart) when I could have just been done with it...

I confess I find myself holding a slight grudge against B for this all...

Maybe its because what would have been our anniversary is coming up.... who knows...

If you're dead set on it, you can always get your tubes tied now. on the anniversary. Maybe that's part of it.

[daylilies]

I think the last time I got drunk was my birthday last year. ( Side note-- I can't believe my birthday is less than a month away already! holy eff!)

I think getting drunk will only be an annual thing for me.

I am a very flirty drunk too... but don't usually get hit on much at the bar.. so I end up flirting with my friends that I go out with, and texting...... oy... I should NOT be allowed to take my phone to the bar with me.

Oh man, when DH and I went to the steampunk convention a couple months ago, I was so drunk I started flirting online at the hotel room with the guy I reconnected with who I knew when I was a teen/preteen...I even told DH I was flirting with him, and DH knew I was drunk out of my mind so he just kind of shook his head and laughed at me.
The next morning I could barely remember a thing I'd said and I issued a blanket apology to my friend for anything stupid I might have said. He just said "Don't worry about it", which makes me wonder.
That was NOT the night Josh was with us.

[Bridget]

I used to drink pretty heavily. Really heavily. I wasn't a texter though I was a caller, which is worse. I'd wake up and check my dialed calls and be like Ohhh Noooooo.

[daylilies]

I don't have the phone number of anyone I'd harass when I'm drunk. That's probably a good thing.
Also whenever I drink at a comedy show I get a little misty eyed thinking about how lucky we are, when people in other countries get killed for some of the things we can say to an audience.

[Gwenn]

DH is awful when he's drunk. Truly awful. Fortunately it's been 2.5 years since he's had anything to drink. I don't even want to talk about some of the fights we've had - but when he's sober he's a totally different person.

I rarely drink. I'm a lightweight and because I seem to always date alcoholics or former alcoholics, I never let myself get drunk. The one time I did get really plastered (after the author, before DH) left me with some great stories that I WON'T share. ;) But it was fun.

I just posted a link on my fb about my job being in a list of the top 10 least stressful jobs ... I think you guys have heard enough of my stories of disabled kids to know the truth of that. Meanwhile, my brother's long-term girlfriend is a freelancer and writes restaurant reviews and posted that she gets to judge a cupcake contest. Seriously. I'd love to make a comment about it not being a stressful as cupcake tasting, but I love Paul's girlfriend and don't want to piss her off. Plus, they aren't doing well financially so it's not as though I'm envious.

[missychrissy]

Oh man, when DH and I went to the steampunk convention a couple months ago, I was so drunk I started flirting online at the hotel room with the guy I reconnected with who I knew when I was a teen/preteen...I even told DH I was flirting with him, and DH knew I was drunk out of my mind so he just kind of shook his head and laughed at me.
The next morning I could barely remember a thing I'd said and I issued a blanket apology to my friend for anything stupid I might have said. He just said "Don't worry about it", which makes me wonder.
That was NOT the night Josh was with us.

omg that's hilarious!

I post on Facebook way too much when I'm drinking

DH is awful when he's drunk. Truly awful. Fortunately it's been 2.5 years since he's had anything to drink. I don't even want to talk about some of the fights we've had - but when he's sober he's a totally different person.

I rarely drink. I'm a lightweight and because I seem to always date alcoholics or former alcoholics, I never let myself get drunk. The one time I did get really plastered (after the author, before DH) left me with some great stories that I WON'T share. ;) But it was fun.

I just posted a link on my fb about my job being in a list of the top 10 least stressful jobs ... I think you guys have heard enough of my stories of disabled kids to know the truth of that. Meanwhile, my brother's long-term girlfriend is a freelancer and writes restaurant reviews and posted that she gets to judge a cupcake contest. Seriously. I'd love to make a comment about it not being a stressful as cupcake tasting, but I love Paul's girlfriend and don't want to piss her off. Plus, they aren't doing well financially so it's not as though I'm envious.

Oh lord, no comparison!

Social services lady just did a home visit. She had to 'eyeball' the kids one more time (her words) and she said the case will be closed. Yah.

[Gwenn]

That sounds like good news!

[missychrissy]

It is. I guess I'm still a little sore that it happened at all, but whatever. I've heard of kids reporting their parents because they didn't like being punished, but I never thought one of mine would do it. Only awful kids that don't appreciate their parents would go to such lengths.

[Gwenn]

It's her way of trying to deal with things.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry you had to go through that Chrissy but glad it seems to be almost over.

[missychrissy]

It's ok. We start family counseling tomorrow night. I get the impression that it's more for Rich's benefit...er, to help him cope and strategize how to communicate effectively with Jesi. I hope it helps and it doesn't turn into a scenario where I have to explain everything to him. I can only see him getting defensive and obstinate if the counselor says something he doesn't like.

[Cosmosmom]

Gwenn, I saw that about article about your job and thought about you. I am thinking that I heard that speech pathologists that work not in school districts have it less stressful.

I would have to say that as long as budgets are ok, being a librarian is not stressful most of the time. Maybe in a public library....but generally not in mine. Except when a doc comes in with an urgent patient care request....and we drop everything for that. I personally tend to work more with nurses, nursing students and patients than docs. Oh I felt bad once when a practitioner was trying to get an insurance to pay for a drug that would help her patient and had been working...except it was an off-label use. I felt bad but I just could not find any evidence to help the case and I tried everything and every database I could.


Chrissy, I'm sorry that you had to deal with a visit like that and everything with Jesi. I cannot imagine how hard and stressful that must be.


On a good note, we got less than in inch of snow this morning....they had thought up to 9 and south of me they got like 9 and northeast in Green Bay they had over 10 inches of snow. ours was melted by this afternoon. Bridget probably looked like you were getting a decent amount?

And even better, I actually exercised tonight. As in put on tennis (since the foot doc told me I have flat feet and I'm not supposed to do it barefoot anymore), got out the kettlebell and DVD and did both the warm up and the 15 minute upper body section.

it was a good night, I got home and DH had actually started dinner (spaghetti) and so we got to watch young and restless and glee from yesterday before he went to get a nap before work. It was such a nice surprise that he started dinner!!!!