Chrissy – can I just give you a right now? It would make me feel better too. I can hear the frustration in your “voice” and can definitely relate to that feeling that you’re being pressured on all sides. I know my stuff isn’t the same as your stuff, but with all the conflict in my family, and worries about my dad’s health, and feeling like I can’t be the kind of mom I want to be for Bodhi, I do feel life putting on the squeeze right now. I have been investing more of myself into my job than I generally want to for a job EVER (long hours, sleepless nights trying to write calculations in my head). And instead of feeling rewarded for my efforts, I feel like I’m somehow disappointing my team and my manager. I don’t know why, but I’m getting that feeling. Sometimes, I think it might just be professional insecurity on my part. Everyone always seems to know the “politically correct” thing to do in situations, whereas I feel oblivious to all these political undercurrents in the office. Maybe a part of it is that I’m always a consultant, so I’m usually the new guy and no one tells consultants anything anyway. I just want to go about my job, do the best I can, and go home feeling good about a job well done. It can’t be that way, though, because I always get this feeling that I just should have known that e.g. I couldn’t state the problem as a limitation of System A because the people who built it are going to feel offended, even if it truly is a limitation of the system. Plus the vice president already threw $6 million into building System A, so we don’t want to make her look bad for backing that horse. Crap like that. There’s more annoying stuff to share about work, but I know I’ll have other opportunities to gripe about the same things.
So there’s the whole work thing, and then there’s the feeling that I’m carrying the family financially these days. DH is slowly getting more business, but his primary responsibility is to take care of Bodhi right now, so even if he’s working at full sail, it’s not going to be enough. I have to be the one to make sure our debt gets paid down, and the major expenses are taken care of. It really bothers me when DH gives me attitude about how I don’t do enough to take care of the household. Like this morning, he was complaining about having way more cardboard than can fit in the recycling bin and I told him to list usable boxes for sale on Craigslist. He said to me resentfully, “YOU list the boxes on Craiglist.” As if I hadn’t just worked 50 hrs last week, and spend another 1.2 hrs commuting most days so I can pay 75% of our bills, and don’t see an end in sight to all the stuff I have to do for the project that I’m on. Hearing him say that just started my day off on the wrong foot today.
Chrissy, is your May 30 deadline totally non-negotiable? Is it a regulatory thing? I hope you can get some wiggle room into your timeline, otherwise that’ll be a huge PITA, I know.
Jennifer, regarding the kitchen tile, I know what you mean about the cuts. I think some of the pics I posted show the little diamond-shaped tiles on them. I can’t tell you how many tiles we wasted trying to get the right cutouts for each of them. And we have the same diamonds on the floor too. It took half the amount of time of the whole project just to do those special cuts. Ugh. Yeah, I can see why you’d want your contractor to do them. We were cheap, and realized we’d save $10-15k doing the work ourselves, so that’s why we went ahead on our own.
AmeriAsh – no, DH hasn’t told my BIL about my sister yet. DH’s own brother – the one who just got a divorce last year because his wife was cheating on him with a guy who looks like Saddam Hussein – was the one who changed his mind. His brother told him it was all going to come out in the wash one way or another, and that he didn’t want to forever have strain between himself and my family if he becomes the reason my sis and her husband split up. I don’t know about that. I mean, DH is also my BIL’s friend, so I can see the other side, how he’s withholding vital information that BIL might want to know. But it’s not for me to tell DH what to do. I already barely made up my own mind that it’s not my job to tell BIL either, so who am I to dictate anything to DH. I hate it that my sister had to even bring us into this stupid tangle in the first place. Pardon my crassness, but the woman really just needs to keep a cork in it.
Molly, would it have to be a full commitment to the woman if you start looking after her kids? I think it might be good for Abbey as you said, and your whole layout is really good for that sort of setup, so it would be easy to get started with it. I don’t know if you’d end up driving around as much with that many kids in your care, so you’d end up at home a lot more. So that’s something to think about. Anyway, I think you should go for it as long as you leave yourself a way to exit the situation if it doesn’t feel right.
Mandy – are you getting excited about your hubby’s visit?
One last confession - I'm sorry how all my words get strung together when I'm typing on my phone. For some reason, the Space Bar hates me. Soifyoufindsentencesthatlooklikethis,pleaseacceptm yapologies.