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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #18301

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Myles, did your DH tell your BIL in the end? I'm sorry to hear about your dad; I hope that you and your sis can go see him. (HUGS)

    I've stepped out of my comfort zone to make some new friends. Some new Americans have moved to the area and were asking on an expats forum about a local book club, so I met up with them a few weeks ago for coffee and we all decided we'd go to the book club. Now, I'm thinking 'what was I thinking?!' I know I'll enjoy it but it's been a long time since I've tried to make new friends!
    Good for you! It's hard to make new friends.

    I poked my head in Josh's school cafeteria today and asked if they were hiring. They said I have to go to the office building at a different address and ask, so I'll probably do that today.

    I've been dragging my feet on my business plans. First of all I don't really feel comfortable working with my former personal trainer. He's supposed to be making up the menus that I'll be cooking from. His idea of dieting is having very few calories. You might remember I was on a 900 calorie/day diet for a while. I did lose weight but I didn't think it was the best way to do it. Also while DH is trying to be supportive he's a bit of a downer. He's just all about how demanding it will be and how little reward I'll get.
    I've actually been avoiding the trainer guy because I don't know how to tell him I'm not sure if I want to work with him.

    Even if I do end up starting it up, I won't make much money from it, so I'm trying to get a job too. I have experience in food (and I'm sure school food is a lot less demanding than a lot of my jobs!) and I hope the school system would be able to work with my availability well.

  2. #18302
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    I am the one who was reading Matched. I liked it and already have a hold on the one that comes out in Nov. I haven't read Hunger Games yet but my sister is bringing me the first two books hopefully this weekend.

    Myles, nice tiles! Yeah there is no way we are doing that ourselves. If we didn't have to do a lot of cutting, maybe but we have quite a few switches and outlets in the kitchen to go around. And we are NOT handy people. It was really just such an ordeal just trying to get a room painted. Part of the problem in the kitchen is that the counter is pulling away from the wall so there is pretty good sized gap there, maybe 1/4 of an inch. The kitchen walls are outside walls and with the temp change, the wood has really constricted and the reason for the pulling away. We have had the builder and the guy who did the cabinets come in a few times and it comes down to some homes do this more than others and time helps. As it gets warmer, the wood will expand again. So the tile backsplash is partially because of this problem. They said to put it up in the summer when the wood is expanded but to not attach it directly to the counter. That way if the if the walls contract this upcoming winter, the tiles will move with it and we won't be seeing this gap which really bugs us.

    Kate, working in a school sounds like a good idea! I don't know that I would have it in me to own my own business either.

    Chrissy....I'm sorry to hear about the credit issues again. Still hoping that they can get something worked out. There is still time before August.
    And big yuck to the virus!

    I can't imagine waiting to announce a pg either. Maybe on FB I might try to hold out a bit but couldn't with family. And I know if we tell MIL, it generally means that the whole family will know but the family is small. I don't even have a baby and my whole family, his family and my coworkers know that we are going through the adoption process.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #18303
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    I hope you find something that really suits you Kate. And Jennifer, I'm sure it doesn't feel like it but summer will come along! Hang tight!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #18304
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    This really has felt like a long winter! We ended up getting quite a bit more snow than normal and it came so early and just hangs on up here since we are colder. It should be a few more days though and they think that the snow will finally melt away.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #18305
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    It feels like there's no end in sight for us. This weekend they're predicting more rain/snow showers and temps between 20's and 30's. I'm so over this is ain't even funny.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #18306

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    Same here Chrissy!

  7. #18307
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    Yeah, I never waited to tell people I was pregnant either...well, it was easy to tell my family back home since I knew there was no way they could spill the news to people over here (this was my pre-facebook days...lol)

  8. #18308

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    I waited a while. Because of past comments from my mom I wasn't really looking forward to telling her. She was weird about it at first but warmed up and is a good grandma (or Grammie, as she wants to be called)
    I actually joined APA and announced it here before I told anyone else! I might've told DH first...I don't remember.

  9. #18309
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    Rich wasn't the first I told for at least 1/2 my pregnancies. I didn't really think about it till now either. My brother was with me when I found out I was pregnant with Jessica, and my cousin-like-a-sister was with me when I found out I was expecting Sydney. I certainly didn't feel like Rich had to be the first to know. Now looking back, maybe he should have been but he doesn't seem to care.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #18310
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    You guys, we booked our flights to the USA!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!! I'll be in the good ol' US of A at the end of May for 2 whole weeks!!!! I can't wait to be the one without the accent!!!

  11. #18311
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    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #18312

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    Cool!

  13. #18313
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    Why does my husband have to ask me about everything? I swear, if something happened to me he would not know how to function in life. Bobbie or Jessica would have to take over.

    It's the stupidest thing in the world, but it nearly lit my ass up tonight. My kids wanted chocolate. I told Rich what debit card to use (another pet peeve of mine, but I am used to it and try to let it slide) and to use the ATM at a certain bank because they don't charge you, even if your card isn't from that bank. Our bank will, but it's 1 less ATM charge, right? So why not use it.

    Well he gets there and the machine is unavailable at this time. What does he do? He calls me to read the screen to me. I'm like, "There aren't any other ATM's in Spencer?" I was just so freaking annoyed because this is a constant thing with him. He simply cannot take initiative over the simplest little things. He was like, "Ok, I'll see if there's one at the grocery store." I'm like, there is and I hang up.

    I'm more touchy about this right now because I'm already feeling like I'm the mommy in our relationship over this whole mortgage thing. I got together all our paperwork, well over 200 pages, and scanned them one document at a time for 4 hours (our document feeder jams) by myself. I had to find it all, organize it all, and write up all the statements our broker asked for. I pointed to Rich where to sign. I'm so tired of being the only responsible one. I'm tired!

    /rant. I swore I wasn't going to whine again but I just need to vent about this or else we're going to be going round about it. Just once I'd like to count on him to decide something. Anything!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #18314
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    & what I meant about pet peeve is we have 2 debit cards. One is solely for Saturday shopping (gas, groceries, weekly necessities) and the other one pays our bills and funds the extra unexpected. I don't feel like I should have to tell him EVERY TIME which card to use. If he's not on the weekly shopping trip (hasn't been in 2 years) then he uses my debit card. Why is that so hard?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #18315
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    Yuck, Chrissy. I'm sorry.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  16. #18316

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    That does sound annoying, Chrissy.

  17. #18317

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    Chrissy - I was just today talking with a friend about how annoying this is! Sometimes I will ask my dh to do something so I can get something else done, for instance when we are trying to get somewhere by a certain time. But jeez I might as well just do it all myself because the sheer number of dumb questions I get keep my from doing what I need to get done. Drives me bonkers. Just ENGAGE YOUR BRAIN FOR HALF A MINUTE!!!! Argh.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #18318

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    LOL, that happens too, like I will ask DH to get the drinks while I'm putting the plates on the table, and it takes him so long to stop doing whatever he's doing and go get the drinks, that I end up doing both anyway. I guess that would be an issue with transitions, just like Josh has. LOL

  19. #18319
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    I hear you. I know it shouldn't be that hard. Chrissy, can you write in fine-point permanent marker on the card itself USE FOR EVERYTHING EXCEPT SAT AM SHOPPING or whatever rule you want followed? I know that doesn't solve the underlying issue, but it could solve that one particular one. I had that kind of issue for a while with dh and foreign travel - for some reason, he could pull out of our checking account without incurring fees by ATM, but not our savings account, and he always did the opposite until we got enough fees that he finally remembered for good.

    Mylah, I'm really sorry to hear about your father. This probably explains a lot of the deficits you were concerned about.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 03-29-2011 at 10:29 PM.


  20. #18320
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    I could write "Sat. Card" on it but I fear he'd still call me about something. Like last night when the ATM was down.

    I just don't feel mentally or emotionally capable of handling him right now. It's partially my fault because I've enabled this, then when things gets stressful for me either he gets worse or I get more sensitive to it.

    Jesi's counselor recommended family counseling for us. Intellectually I know it's a good idea. I just don't know if we can afford it unless they can offer a reduced fee for us.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #18321

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    Chrissy. I wish things would just be easy for you right now. You certainly deserve a break. I'm sorry Rich isn't being more involved and helpful. Mark is often the same way. He'll call me several times just making a trip to the grocery store. But I take partial ownership of that because I can be critical of the choices he makes so I'm trying to be better about that and just appreciate that he goes to the store for me in the first place.

  22. #18322
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    I'm sure if asked, Rich would say that he called me last night because the alternative machine would involve charges, but the whole reason he was going to an ATM was because his daughter needed lunch money. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that $1.75 in fees will be necessary if you want your daughter to eat. I shouldn't have to tell him that.

    On another topic, for those of you with 3-5 year olds...does your child respond to your requests the first time you ask them to do something? How often?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #18323

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    On another topic, for those of you with 3-5 year olds...does your child respond to your requests the first time you ask them to do something? How often?
    Rarely. Like, only if it's something he was on his way to do already or something that is majorly appealing to him.

  24. #18324

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    On another topic, for those of you with 3-5 year olds...does your child respond to your requests the first time you ask them to do something? How often?
    No. Not ever, unless it involves a lollipop or ice cream.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  25. #18325
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    Good, it's not just me. At Conner's kindergarten registration, one of the teachers asked a group of us parents that very question. When we snickered, she said that by not making them respond to requests the first time, we're teaching them they don't have to do something until we're annoyed. Or, at least not until they've been asked numerous times and that isn't great in a classroom environment when the teacher has to make repeated requests.

    That's all fine and dandy, but I wondered how we're supposed to 'make' our 4-year-olds respond the first time?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #18326

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Good, it's not just me. At Conner's kindergarten registration, one of the teachers asked a group of us parents that very question. When we snickered, she said that by not making them respond to requests the first time, we're teaching them they don't have to do something until we're annoyed. Or, at least not until they've been asked numerous times and that isn't great in a classroom environment when the teacher has to make repeated requests.

    That's all fine and dandy, but I wondered how we're supposed to 'make' our 4-year-olds respond the first time?

    That would annoy me - how on earth do you teach a small child that? Ridiculous.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  27. #18327
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    I can't even get my husband to respond to something the first time he's asked.


  28. #18328
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I can't even get my husband to respond to something the first time he's asked.
    Man I wish you were there when she said that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #18329

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    So I'm wavering on working for this woman taking care of her two year old (6 days older than Abbey) a couple times a week. We could really use the $ and Abbey might really like the company, but I'm just not sure. I really like the freedom of SAHM-dom.

    And Chrissy: My husband once came home from the store with 20 cans of hot turkey chili (I'm a vegetarian and Abbey obviously won't eat anything spicy). He was so proud because they were on sale 10 for $12. I had sent him there for a gallon of whole milk. I got the chili and a gallon of 2%



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  30. #18330

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I'm sure if asked, Rich would say that he called me last night because the alternative machine would involve charges, but the whole reason he was going to an ATM was because his daughter needed lunch money. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that $1.75 in fees will be necessary if you want your daughter to eat. I shouldn't have to tell him that.

    On another topic, for those of you with 3-5 year olds...does your child respond to your requests the first time you ask them to do something? How often?
    A resounding no! LOL Actually what has been helping us is if I get him to look at me before I ask him. If he's playing or doing something else I usually have to ask him 3-5 times. But if I have to ask him many times, I try not to get annoyed. That way I don't feel like he's only responding because I'm getting mad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I can't even get my husband to respond to something the first time he's asked.
    Remember I told you guys my therapist asked me, "Well, does your husband do something the first time you ask? Do you do something the first time you're asked?" Yeah...no.
    Last edited by daylilies; 03-30-2011 at 12:40 PM.

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