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If Rich and I were in this situation, I have no doubt Rich would want to help his friend out as well. I'd agree to it and be happy to on the condition that he understood it was his new truck money that was being use...meaning, no new truck till the loan was paid back.Originally Posted by Gwenn
Maybe this is where I'm sorta more hardass than most, because I wouldn't feel like I should have to 'suffer' for my dh's generosity.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm gonna be a Gramama!
I completely agree with you there ... but right now we're a one car family so if he doesn't buy the truck, I suffer too. But I'll hold something else over his head, because he's always wanting something.
I just posted a picture of Dari the puppy on FB. She's very cute.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Aren't the Macarena and the electric slide basically the same thing? Don't make me look this stuff up on youtube! LOL
I remember my little brother pointing and hollering in a hospital hallway at a nurse and saying what a fat lady she was. I was so embarrassed, I was 16 at the time, my mom was REALLY embarrassed and told him that it wasn't nice.
Remembering that, I always was VERY proactive, with Ky about people's differences and would point them out to him before he even noticed and we would talk about them. Luckily, he has never said anything really loud about anyone in public. He will ask me quietly about someone. Once we saw a man who had burns on his face and he wanted to know what was wrong with his face, he whispered it to me and we discussed it on the ride home and then about fire safety and kitchen safety in general. He's also asked me about little people before and I was happy that there was a show that used to come on, I can't remember what channel, maybe TLC or Discovery or something, the one about the family who are little people and have one son who is also a little person and the other children are of normal size. So we watched the show and talked about it.
I had a little girl once scream really loudly in a grocery store when I was wearing my huge Angela Davis afro, "Ew!! Your hair is UGLY!" It was pretty funny the way she said it and I laughed. Her dad was mortified, you could see the color go out of his face. I told him not to feel bad, a lot of people don't like afros.
Erin
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Makes sense.
I'll have to peek when I get a second. I had a busy shopping day, running the girls around, and finally stopping in to my father's and helping him and his wife with their email issues. I didn't get home till 8:30 and this is the first time I've had a chance to sit or eat all day. Rich snuck and bought a peach pie from the Schwann's man. I told him he's started a precedent and now he'll be stopping all the time.
Erin, that's funny about the child's comment about your hair! My brother-in-law is covered in tattoos and he says one time he was in line at a Burger King and an 8-year-old told his mother, "Mom, look at the freak!"
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks?
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My twins have started referring to other people by the color of their clothes--"Hey Mommy, look at that purple girl over there. I think she will be my friend." or "I am a blue boy today." So I'm just waiting for the inevitable shouting out in public "Mommy, what is that black man doing?" as I once saw in another post.
I make a point of talking about differences too, calmly and matter-of-factly, and I've been trying hard to get dh to stop doing weird stuff like calling people in motorized wheelchairs cyborgs because I'm pretty sure that will just be trouble down the road.
Our baby is 3 years old already!
I've lost track of this thread again... crap.
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I confess I just watched Gasland and now I hate **** Cheney and Co. with a passion I didn't think I was capable of.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
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I found out today that even though I told Thomas (Bobbie's former loser boyfriend) to not contact her or I'd have him arrested, he has been communicating with her. And she didn't tell me because she didn't want me calling the police on him. As is his pattern, it started out as friendly chit-chat, then went to being abusive and culminated in him telling her at 4:00 in the morning that she should go kill herself.
Not only am I fuming mad at him, but I'm getting a bit irritated with her for putting up with it. She knows he gets bad, and each time is worse than the last. Why does she give him the opportunity? I would call the police, but I'm pretty sure they can't do anything more than talk to him because she willingly let him contact her after I told him to stop. She should have told me as soon as he reached out to her after that warning.
So now he has her feeling like crap about herself and all depressed about life. I took the girls shopping at the mall while I got my hair done and there were teenage boys following my girls around and saying stuff about them, but they weren't talking nice about Bobbie. She's crushed and I'm really feeling helpless about everything.
The teen years are incredibly rough and there's little I can do to protect them. It's awful.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Jeez, Chrissy. That really effing sucks. I wish I had something more eloquent or wise to say about honestly it just really hurts my heart to read that post. I remember so well how painful and confusing my early teen years were. I know for sure it would have helped me a lot if Id been able to talk to my mom. But I did not feel close enough to her. I know it's not much in the face of seeing your daughter emotionally wounded but they are all very lucky to have you. And stronger for it, even when it doesn't seem that way.
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There probably isn't anything to say. Right now I'm feeling so powerless. I hate that they have to go through stuff and hurt so much. Watching them fall down and get scraped knees when they were little was nothing compared to this. Heck, Jessica losing a tooth from a fall on a playground when she was 6 was far easier than the later teen years are proving to be.
There's more going on too with Jesi. She's keeping secrets and doesn't want to talk to me at all. It hurts. I know I'm not perfect, but when the kids really need to tell me something I believe I've been very good at letting them tell me anything and keeping my cool and opinion to myself. So I don't understand her reluctance to share with me. And given what I've learned about what she's been doing in recent months, it's making me feel distrustful of her. I hate that too.
Boo. Whoa is me.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I'm so sorryWhenever you post about the teenage years I just want to give Josh a hug. Unfortunately he's sleeping
It makes the battles with picking out pajamas and wanting just one more book very small.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
chrissy, restraining orders are surprisingly easy to get, at least in LA county where I won one against my neighbor. All you have to do is present evidence of harrassment. As long as Bobbie is willing to go along with it, you should be able to keep Thomas the Turd away from her. Convincing Bobbie might be the hard part. She doedn't sound ready to let go.
Ash, SUPER cute hairdo again.
Mandy, I hope you both get paid back. I somewhat understand why they'd want to save that puppy and bring it home with them. It seems that difficult and extreme circumstances (like wartime) can make a person attach meaning and importance to items that wouldn't bear so much significance in other situations. Wow to the expense of it, though!
Slightly related to the topic of embarrassing comments, I had a dog that was a "racist" against any dark-skinned man. It was so sad. I think he'd been abused by one as a puppy before we rescued him. But he'd be all sweet and waggy-tailed and suddenly turn vicious to any guy that fit that description.
DH used to work with "The Idols" at the studio he was at before we moved from LA. Every year, they'd come in to record a Ford ad, and he'd come home and tell me which ones were nice and which ones were jerks. I will say that he thought Kelly Clarkson was the nicest of them all. I won't say whom he thought was the biggest d-bag.
Funny story about how our childhood experiences affect how we feel about travel today. I hate cruises because all the fun cool stuff/real travel happens for only the few hours you're in port and the rest of the time, it's lines, buffets, tacky shows, and walking around in circles on a big floating building. And I hate car camping because my oarents used to make us go with the church group growin up, and they'd bring a KARAOKE MACHINE to the campsite and start playing back the songs recorded from the night before at 7am, waking everybody up who was within a half a mile. Talk about inconsiderate!
I know Vegas can be interesting in a Disney, over-the-top, artificial recreation kind of way. But my parents moved there a decade ago, and it's been weird for me to spend family holidays there in casinos, buffets and shows. I long for the simple holidays with home-cooked meals and all my cousins and aunties in the house. I'm not a gambler or a smoker, so I get bothered by both. Maybe Vegas is sexy and exotic in the expensive clubs and such, but mostly it's lots of smoking and/or drunk tourists glued to slot machines with zoned out looks on their faces and being demanding jerks because they can't understand why the Vegas they're in isn't the Vegas they see in movies and commercials. Also, the backroads and service docks just behind the Strip hotels are soul-suckingly ugly. That's been my experience anyway. Plus, I can't figure out how they can sustain that much development and consumption in the middle of the desert. It must be such a drain on natural resources.
Ok. At work now. If I'm good, you won't hear from me for the rest of the day.
Last edited by demigraf; 03-07-2011 at 10:55 AM.
Ooo, you must tell me who's a d-bag, LOL. PM it if you don't want to say here.
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I'm definitely considering it, but if she sneaks and communicates with him behind my back, that will invalidate the restraining order. I have to know she's on board with it being a 'forever' kinda thing if I take that step.
Interesting about having an inside on the AI'ers.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I think we need to start cribnotes. Anyone who reads several pages of through thread needs to summarize key points for the rest of us.
My kids are sick. Gus is actually on antibiotics, which I rarely do, because he had a rattle in his chest that concerned me. And now I seem to be getting it (how can you not when your baby gives you slobbages and drools all over your face).
Sigh.
Sorry Stacy
Me too!
I hope you both feel better soon.
Chrissy, I wish I knew what to say about Bobbie, except that I hope you can convince her to stop talking to him when he calls. What a nightmare.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
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Aw Stacy, I hope you and Gus feel better really fast.
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
Stacy, I hope the boys both get better really soon!
Travis came downstairs this morning really early, so he was milling around from room to room. Then I heard him go upstairs, so I thought I'd better go see what he was doing. When I went upstairs, I heard him talking to Cash, so I peeped in and Travis had climbed in to Cash's crib and was talking to him. It looked so funny.
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I swore I responded to this with afor Travis climbing in Cash's crib. What the heck happened to my post?
Today I'm feeling more hopeless about my teens. Bobbie is unhappy and miserable with her life every other day and Jessica is outright lying to me. I keep asking myself...where did I go wrong? What the heck can I do to fix this?
Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
I think sometimes, Chrissy, no matter what we do as parents, kids are kids going through those growing pains and there's not a lot we can do to prevent those things from happening...I think you're probably doing the best you can just being there for them.
On another note, I just emptied the washing machine and realized I put Travis' night time pull-up in there...dear lawd, what a mess! And speaking of the lord, I think I'm gonna have to hide some family members'stati on FB as all they talk about lately is praising Jesus for his blood, etc...getting a little annoying!
I just deleted some family for putting anti gay stuff on their wall. Jerks.
I was an emotional mess when I was a teen. I don't think my mom even knew it, but I used to contemplate suicide a lot. I even wrote suicide notes. I never even tried anything but I was obsessed with it for a while. The teen years were so weird. I thought about sex a lot and wrote dirty notes I never ended up sending (thank goodness) and soft porn stories about boys I had crushes on.
Anyway the moral of the story is that I'm here to tell the tales today and I think that you're a good enough mom that if something is seriously wrong you will know and you will help her get through it. I think it's just one of those wonky phases.
Here's my fb story of the day: I have a friend I met at a nkotb concert who lives in Denmark and we keep in touch on fb. The other day I noticed that one of her friends added me (if I hadn't recognized the name from the comments on my friend's page I would have just deleted it)
So I emailed this person (the name is foreign and I don't know if it's male or female) and said Oh hi thanks for the add, how do you know Kiona (the girl from Denmark)? Thinking maybe he/she was a fellow NK fan, maybe.
Well this person got all defensive and said "I know her on fb, is there a problem? why can't we be friends?"
So I replied back there's no problem, I was just making conversation. I went to this person's page and none of it is in English, there doesn't seem to be anything in common with me (or Kiona for that matter) so I deleted him/her. I don't really like having people I don't know personally, or other NK fans, or from APA, on my fb. (shrug)
I agree teenage years are tough no matter what. I am VERY glad that I am not a teen anymore, or an early 20 something. I would never want to go back to those years. They are very difficult to navigate through and even though I went through a lot of crap, I really don't think anyone could have helped me get through that time. We learn by experience and our mistakes. I was very close to my grandmother and I never told her about a lot of the thoughts I had either even though she was a cool, young grandmother.
I don't have any FB stories. I rarely delete people but will when they are putting up Bible versus constantly. And really I only do that because I figure they aren't worth me communicating with since they don't have anything to say. Scripture isn't conversation IMO. I will speak about anyone who posts anything negative about gays and lesbians. A lot of my friends probably think I am lesbian because I am always the one to go after them for their anti-gay remarks. Me and my 3 out gay/lesbian friends LOL. So they probably group me with them, but I don't care. Oddly enough, these "friends" rarely say anything about gays or lesbians again after I go after them and a couple of them have de-friended me.
I have also gotten into FB debates about extended BFing. In Toledo where I'm from, women don't BF much and most of my old high school friends see BFing as "nasty" and will go on and on about visiting somewhere (a lot of times it is about Atlanta oddly enough) and they saw some woman BFing a kid who looked 4 years old. And I will go on and on about it and they will usually shut up about it because they don't have any good come backs. I'm happy that one of my old high school friends changed his perception of extended BFing because of a debate he had with me and I sent him a bunch of info on breastfeeding. He is a wanna be rapper so I he destroyed my stereotype of wanna be rappers (every young guy here in Atlanta seems to want to be a rapper and it bothers me) not being able to step outside of the box and view things from a non hip-hop perspective. I was happy he ridded me of the stereotype since I hate stereotypical perceptions and didn't realize I held this particular stereotype until we got into that conversation.
Erin
Speaking of FB, one of my cousins had posted Wordsworth's poem Daffodils and I mentioned it reminded me of our Papaw and she replied that one day we'll see him again in "gloryland." It made me sad. I'm not a total atheist but I can't believe in all that fairytale heaven stuff but I do hope that spirits live on after our bodies die and we can meet again...sigh.
Ugh, I know. I cannot even count the number of times people tell me my mom is watching me or she's smiling down at me. I just don't know what to say because I know they are trying to be comforting but I don't believe that. And even if I did, you know what? Her supposed smiling down at me from Heaven does not make me miss her any less. It doesn't allow me to call her on the phone and tell her my baby smiled at me for the first time.
Swannie said something in one of my threads about how she thinks that the timing of Sawyers conception in relation to the timing of my mom's death makes her think that she has a some cosmic connection with the fact that since Sawyer came into our lives, dbf has been a completely caring, loving, and active partner. I liked that. That did make me feel warm inside. There really is something about when Sawyer looks right at me and smiles. It makes me cry and really ache for my mom.
Whoah, all of that just came rushing out. I just meant to say that I totally know what you mean. Off to google that poem. It's so pretty and I can barely recall it.
Last edited by Bridget; 03-08-2011 at 03:02 PM.
Bridget, I remember your thread and I got all teary-eyed at Swannie's post, too! It is nice to think of cosmic connections like that.
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