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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #17161
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    I wouldn't stress that much with the student loan debt. They have a really great program now called the IBR....Erin I think you do that one too right? I have my sister on it. She has about the same amount as me for undergrad and grad school...yet her job while in her field is not full-time most weeks, not with benefits and not well paid. So she signed up for the program and is currently paying back about nothing a month....and as long as she stays in the program and does the paperwork each year, at the end of 20 or 25...can't remember which, any loans leftover are forgiven. Now once she is in a job making what she should really be, the loan repayments go up but never more than a certain percentage of her income (and they take into account family size).
    The trick is to never take private student loans...only subsidized or unsubsidized government student loans. So much more protection there.
    While I would have loved to gotten a grant and not had quite so much student loans, I loved going to college and do not regret mine for a second. I would totally do it all again. They are manageable as long as the rules are followed about repayments and contacting the lenders if issues arise.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #17162

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    That's wonderful, Erin!

  3. #17163

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    OMG Erin. What great news. I'm so happy for your family.

  4. #17164
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    Oh and I still haven't heard back from the adoption agency yet about if this christian thing is a deal breaker or not. So I don't know what we are doing. Another local agency is also religious...even more than this one so that is out. And the one we were talking to in 2009 we didn't like at all.

    So now we are starting to think of just taking some time and really getting serious about getting in better shape and than going back to the infertility clinic. We never did try much in the way of treatments...mostly figured why spend the money on that when there are babies who need families. Just seemed like the better thing to do.
    Now I'm thinking that might be worth just spending the money on IF treatments...certainly the easier option (OMG, the paperwork the agency has required is way more than I thought and I was expecting a lot).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #17165
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    I guess I'm looking at it from the perspective of avoiding any student loan debt she possibly can. 20-25 years is a long time to be stuck in a position if you don't absolutely love it just in an attempt to have some debt forgiven. Much better, imo, to avoid as much debt as possible from get-go. And so far, she is eligible for grants so she's utilizing them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #17166

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    I can't believe they'd deny you a child based on your religion. I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I cannot believe how wack that is.
    As if someone's religious affiliation, or lack of, has one iota to do with the measure of their character. Stuff like that makes me mad.

  7. #17167
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    pisss on valentines day

  8. #17168

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    Sorry Sarah Bad day?

  9. #17169
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    Kate, someone brought up the idea of a marble jar for rewarding good behavior with their kids. I've never tried it myself, but I have heard of it before. I read it and thought of you,

    I actually had a mom tell me today to try and do a jar with marbles. She did this with her 3 children and it worked well for her. You have them help you decorate a jar. Get some marbles and every time they do something good, chores, say nice things, etc... put a marble in the jar. If they doing something bad, hit, mouth off, etc... take one out. When there gets to be "X" amount of marbles, they get a treat or prize. For her, she would have a day with Mommy doing whatever they want. That's because she has 3 but I think it would work if you only have one. Like I do :o) I think I am going to try this out with my 3 year old because he's really getting a mouth on him
    That's from another message board.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #17170
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    I'm so crabby feeling today. And it's been busy here but I am pretty good at faking it when dealing with patrons and patients/visitors. At least the Bachelor is on tonight. I call MIL during the commericals and we trash talk some of the crazy people.

    DH's car wouldn't start again. This has been going on for about a year now. Battery has been replaced, alternator has been replaced...more than once. Thankfully after the first battery and alternator we haven't had to pay anything. So it's back there again....I guess pretty much being taken apart trying to figure out exactly where the drain is coming from.
    DH LOVES this car and we have had her since early 2002...first brand new car. It's been a great car...up until this point. Oh and she still has less than 50K on her....I think in the 40's for miles.

    He was supposed to see the dentist this morning...now he's going tomorrow afternoon. So I will have to leave work early to get him and bring him over there. Sucky part is I park in the far lot and take a shuttle in...and the shuttle doesn't start running again until 3:30...his appt is 2pm. I have one myself Thursday afternoon. Thank god temps have gotten into the 30's because I will have to walk to my car twice this week and it's like 1.5 miles from where I work.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #17171

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    Sounds worth a try, Chrissy, thanks I have jars of those little glass pebbles that I'm not using!

  12. #17172
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    I hope they can figure out what's going on with dh's car. It would be a shame to have to get rid of it just because of that...but I know from hearing my brother talk that often electrical drains are one of the most difficult issues to troubleshoot.

    I'm kicking myself for agreeing to look at my father's wife's computer. It's such a mess and I believe 1 of the hard drives is failing. There's a 2nd one I was going to do a clean install on, but I can't get the darn thing to boot off a dvd even though it's a dvd drive. I'm moving my data off my external hd and will make that bootable and copy the Windows 7 installation files onto there. Barring that...I may just tell my dad he needs to get her a new computer. It's not worth any more aggravation (to me!).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #17173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    Wanted to share some good news about our little cousin who had a brain tumor that I wrote about a few months ago. He had the tumor removed and had a round of chemo as well. He went for an MRI on Thursday last week and there were no signs of the tumor and he is doing very well! We are all relieved. The tumor was the size of an apple and he had stopped walking at 18 months when he had just started walking at 14 months old, which was why they originally took him to the doctor. I can't believe the tumor was so big, but we are all happy that it looks like he may have a complete recovery.

    Erin
    Wow, I'm so glad he's doing well! Baby's brains are the most amazing things!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #17174
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    Okay, so, not to complain about my parents again but this Valentine's day hasn't been the easiest for me. DH has been out of contact for over a week now which has made this really hard for me despite the fact that I'm not super crazy about Valentine's day as a holiday. But I am indulging in feeling sorry for myself, and just now the phone rang and it's my mother.

    Mom. It's Valentine's Day. Whether I'm in a good mood or a bad mood, either way, I just don't want to talk to you. Yikes.

    I didn't answer. Which means she'll probably be all paranoid. I just can't win.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #17175
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    Aw Mandy, I can't imagine how awful it must be to go so long without any contact and knowing he's where he is.

    Your mother is going to have to learn to cope with her own paranoia. It's not up to you to constantly soothe and appease her.

    I've decided I cannot work on computers at home on the side any more. It's ok if they're bought from Dell, HP, Toshiba or another big manufacturer...but this one was a special build and while it still had adequate specs, the drivers that came with it are all outdated and not compatible with Windows 7. That means I had to go to the Googles and find each.and.every.freakin.driver and manually download and install them to make the blasted thing work.

    I have 10 hours into this computer and while I'd never charge my dad, I won't do this crap for his wife for free. She's cheap though and will probably gripe about giving me $50.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #17176
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    Oh, Chrissy, you can't do that. It's almost worse because it's family because this way you're being taken advantage of on top of it (whether or not that's their intention).
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  17. #17177
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    Shelda (my father's wife) would have me do it for free if she could. She's the cheapest person I know...Dad would try to overpay but if it were his I'd gladly do it for free. Historically, this sort of thing results in them arguing so I'll just take whatever she offers. I love my dad too much to add to the stress in his life.

    I'm not volunteering to do it for free, and I let her know I already had 10 hours into it. Maybe she'll have a heart.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #17178
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    Yuck. Send her an itemized list of everything you had to do on it - maybe she will take pity.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  19. #17179
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    I sent them both an email last night letting them know what was taking so long. Dad wrote and said to just send him a bill I don't even know what to charge. Like I said, I wouldn't charge my father anything.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #17180

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    Erin - Thanks for sharing the good news! I confess I am typically suspicious of "established" medicine, but in cases like this, I just have to bow to the minds who make treatment like your nephew's possible.

    Lydia - Happy belated birthday. You're a Valentine's Baby ? Does that mean you've had a lot of romantic birthdays?

    Jennifer - I still hope the adoption agency won't openly discriminate against you for your UU affiliation. What a letdown that would be.

    chrissy - good luck getting the 2nd hard drive to boot! sounds like a maddening project. Your dad's wife is getting a deal.

    kate - I'm glad Red Light/Green light worked, at least initially.

    mandy - I'm sorry it's so hard to be separated from your dh. Do you have any idea wheny ou'll be together next?

  21. #17181
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    Thanks, I did get it to boot and have installed 7 and ran updates. What a pita that machine is. I'm telling her she needs a new one within a year because that's the last time I go through that again.

    Work is another joy...trying to get proprietary software to run on Windows 7 that was written for XP. Compatibility Mode is failing me because it's written by some doofus at Cornell. They're so slow about updating their software.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #17182
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    Ok, so I got an email back this morning and she said it wasn't a problem. I really thought she was going to say that it would be. And started thinking about getting a puppy for now, losing some weight and trying to do some IF treatments later this year. We do know that I ovulate and DH tested fine. My thyroid is fine...I have been on meds for 10-11 years and have been stable at a good TSH level.
    I do know DH wants to get a baby sooner rather than later...doesn't want to be in his 60's with a kid going off to college.
    So now we need to figure out, do we commit to plan A or plan B.

    Oh and seems there is nothing wrong with his car. The battery was fine, the alternator was fine this time. They said he doesn't drive it enough and suggested this thing to buy for when she's going to sit in the garage. He REALLY loves his PT Cruiser and so doesn't want to drive her much and always takes my car. He's just going to have to start taking his own car to work (unless it's a snow storm because mine is a bit heavier/bigger wheels and handles snow better).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #17183
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    Totally o/t but I wondered if anyone keeps in touch with WillowSpy? How are she and her little boy doing?

  24. #17184
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post

    Lydia - Happy belated birthday. You're a Valentine's Baby ? Does that mean you've had a lot of romantic birthdays?
    No, it means it sucks twice as much when your boyfriend or dh forgets about it. Luckily I'm not a very romantic person either, but I have had more than one really bad birthday. The worst was when my (ex) dh came home from work, fell asleep on the couch, woke up a while later and then asked me to go get him some Taco Bell.


  25. #17185

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    Yeah, chrissy, forwards compatibility can be a big gotcha. Wonder if it's a particular dll that the software needs from XP? I don't really know what I'm talking about .

    Jennifer, whoo hoo!!!

    ash - oh yeah, WillowSpy. I remember her. Another young (to me) very bright lady. I hope she's doing well. I took a long break from any room other than my DD room after B was born, and it seems there was a change of "cast" in here. I confess I've wondered if I missed something that happened. Not that I'm not stoked on the current lineup.

    Lydia - oh no, Taco Bell. Really? Good riddance to that one. Yo quiero you get your butt out of here.
    Last edited by demigraf; 02-15-2011 at 10:45 AM.

  26. #17186
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    Well you sound like you know what you're talking about The trouble is the installation disks are loaded with applications and thousands of dll's and it would be impossible to find the right one (if, in fact, it's only lacking one). We're doing another attempt together trying a new approach and if we fail we're calling in the ones the issued the software and making them make it work with Windows 7. They have to-XP is going to be discontinued in 2014.

    Jennifer-that's wonderful news! I'm so happy that your religion isn't going to be a road block. Can you pursue the adoption route while also taking steps to get healthier and ttc'ing? Adoption can be such a long process and if you end up pregnant in the meantime you can simply stop the adoption process.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #17187
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    We still use xp at work....they tend to be slow to upgrade. Our problem with IT is that my department has very specific software we use....on a total of 4 computers for three staff. The rest of the hospital uses other programs like for medical records. One of our programs is called the same thing as one of theirs. Except ours is for circulation, not something to do with electronic medical records. Thankfully my boss is pretty tech savy!

    And yeah either way I'm staying on WW and trying to lose weight. We would still keep trying in terms of not preventing.....but we wouldn't go through with medical intervention if the money was going towards adoption.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #17188

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    I have a small silly victory to announce I had a dentist appt this morning and it went really well! Okay, ever since I was a kid I have had issues with my teeth. I hated pulling them out so I had adult teeth growing behind baby teeth and they were terribly crooked and I had braces for years to fix that. Getting me to brush right was like pulling teeth (sorry, couldn't resist) and my gums would bleed if you looked at them funny. After I moved out, I didn't go to the dentist for years. I finally went back when Josh was a baby, had to get a deep cleaning and later a cavity filled. It was terrible. After that I started going regularly. This morning the hygenist said something I have never heard before: "You have a nice looking mouth." LOL! Finally at 31 I am doing a good job with my teeth! My mom will be so proud.

  29. #17189
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    I can't say when the last time I went to the dentist was...it's embarrassing. But with our current pile of medical bills, I don't see it happening any time soon.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #17190

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    I also haven't been to the dentist in years. I actually just looked one up yesterday and will make an appointment next week sometime. We have pretty crappy dental insurance but I'm afraid that I may have the beginning (or worse) of gum disease so I am going to focus on dental health for my personal new year.

    I pick a goal for my birthday instead of New Years since it is my personal new year. Usually it is not a resolution but something simple and easy. So this year it will be to go to the dentist every 6 months and get a deep scale cleaning and not worry about how much it cost. My birthday is not until April, but I like to get a head start.

    Erin

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