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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #16051

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    I'm on twitter...is there any kind of alert I can send out? I don't want to use anyone's names without permission though.

  2. #16052

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    Aren't there some mamas on here that live in your state Chrissy? Maybe they can help you get the word out. Send the pictures to everyone on their facebook or whatever.

  3. #16053

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    What area is she from? I can't recall.

  4. #16054

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    I have to go pick up Josh and go do some stuff. I really really hope there's some good information when I get back.

  5. #16055

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    Does Hunter say why she was crying and upset? Who is this friend he left her with? Ugh. I'm sorry that the 1 kid who seems to know something isn't saying anything to make you feel better. I just keep thinking that Hunter wouldn't be talking to anyone if something were really wrong. Keep hoping, momma.

  6. #16056
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    I finally heard from her. I'm so relieved I can't even begin to describe it. She was belligerent and didn't sound like herself at all. She was making crazy accusations saying she had a place to stay and refuses to come home until she knows her dad won't beat her. I'm so taken aback by that statement. I didn't even know how to respond to her. Rich is strict but he's not physically abusive. She told me that I'm in denial.

    Either she's on something or talking big in front of whomever she's with. She made a special point to say, "I know you think I'm with Hunter but I haven't seen him since 4:30 yesterday." I'm not sure I believe that. He's 19 and the age of consent (I think) is 18 in NY so he might be feeding her things to say to protect himself. Or maybe she's telling the truth.

    She said she might turn herself in to the police and go to a shelter until she knows Daddy won't hit her. Even though I don't get where that is coming from, I encouraged her to do so.

    She even said to me, "I love you, bye" in a snotty tone. I can't remember her ever talking to me in the tone she was using....but as confused as I am, I'm immensely relieved that she's ok.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #16057
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    I'm so relieved. Alive is the best outcome. Everything else you can deal with.
    Audrey (38) DH (34), Lilly (DD), Logan (DS). Breastfeeding is more than feeding. It is communication between mother and baby. It is a form of nurturing; it is an act of love.

  8. #16058

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    Oh Chrissy. Now she just needs to make it home safely. Did she call you from her phone? Are you still in contact?

  9. #16059
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    Quote Originally Posted by Irish-Eyes View Post
    I'm so relieved. Alive is the best outcome. Everything else you can deal with.
    Yes, that's how I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by stephmama View Post
    Oh Chrissy. Now she just needs to make it home safely. Did she call you from her phone? Are you still in contact?
    She did call from her phone but she turned it right back off.

    I hope she does go to the police. Even if she goes to a shelter, I just want her to be somewhere safe.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #16060

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    That is very strange, but I'm glad she's okay.

  11. #16061
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    Thank god she finally contacted you. I really don't think she realizes just what she put you, her dad and her siblings through.

    I did something kind of similiar except I was 18 and left a note and drove off to Schenectady NY with a guy my parents didn't know and to be honest, I didn't really know all that well either but sure did like him. I thought it was an adventure, it was the summer and I was going to only go for a few weeks. And while technically an adult, I did take their car (mine but still in their name) and I knew they wouldn't like me going so I left a note instead of telling them to their face. And I didn't call them for over a day...and this came out of nowhere and went very much against my personality. I knew they would be mad but I didn't realize at the time that I basically put them through hell and made my mom cry and my mom is not a crier. And I freaked out my little sister. And the police got called but they decided not to charge with me stealing their car. Huge mess. And it took a long time before they really trusted me again.
    Never did anything like that before or after....looking back I still cannot believe I did that but I seriously at the time didn't think that it was that big a deal. Now I think what a stupid idiot I was and how majorly I could have screwed up everything or worse. And I feel so awful about doing that to my family.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #16062

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    My concern is that these boys are making the girls call and say these things so that the cops will back off questioning them? It almost sounds like she was forced to call.

    I hope she is home with you soon.
    Mommy to Lilliana (10/2006) & Summer (10/2011)!




  13. #16063
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    Since she is underage can the police do anything?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #16064

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    Oh jesus, Chrissy, I am so glad you heard from her. Snotty teenage **** you can deal with, but the alternatives were so much scarier.

    I would wonder if she was taking something funky, based on what you said. I wouldn't be past drug tests when she finally returns home.



  15. #16065

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    I'm so glad she's safe, Chrissy. It sounds like you still have a long road ahead, and I'm sorry about that. I also hope she's just making stuff up to sound cool in front of her friend.

    I hate to bring this up, but have you considered a mental health evaluation to make sure she's not having an episode of some sort? I only bring that up because my sister's first breakdown and diagnosis involved her first disappearing and then making strange claims and accusations.

    Whatever the cause of this latest stuff with Jess, I hope the healing starts soon for all of you.

  16. #16066

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    Oh man, I am crying with relief. She's alive and safe. I hope you can get her home now. Huge huge hugs, Chrissy.

  17. Default

    So glad you heard from her Chrissy! Like everyone else said - Hopefully she is home (or at a shelter) -- SAFE soon.

    Is there any word on the other girl?

  18. #16068

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    I am beyond relieved that she called. I am sorry she is doing this to you.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  19. #16069
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    I'm so glad she's OK, Chrissy...I hope she comes home soon!

  20. #16070
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    Thanks again everyone. Everything was happening so fast, I didn't get an opportunity to update you and I know you're all worried too.

    She's home now and ok. She did walk a considerable distance to the police and met with Office Gray. I cannot say enough about this man...he's phenomenal. He talked to us before taking us to her and assured us that it's a typical adolescent girl thing to do, to blow things out of proportion and tell lies about being abused. He did question her and later us and said if he felt there was any abuse he'd have to investigate further, but even before talking to us he didn't think that was the case at all.

    He also said he did some tests (which ones, I don't know) and she hadn't been doing any drugs or alcohol through the night. He talked to her at length before calling us and pretty much told her that although she's 16 years old now and thinks she knows everything, we're the parents and we make the rules and she simply has to follow them. He talked to her about various outcomes that could occur if she continued on that path or followed the advice of Hunter (he's also familiar with Hunter and doesn't have a high opinion of him either) or others like him.

    He was also empathetic with her and said he realized that it looks like her friends are having fun, but they won't be having fun when they're crawling in a gutter and have nothing to show for their lives.

    I could go on and on, but the gist of it is that she got to hear from someone else that having some rules isn't a terrible thing, and that by running away she can get in trouble herself. He also told Hunter in no uncertain terms that if he sees Jessica with him when she's supposed to be at school, Hunter will be charged with a crime because he's 19. At one point in the investigation he told Hunter that because he was the last one to see Jessica, he was responsible for anything that happened to her. It was 20 minutes after that phone call that Jessie called Officer Gray.

    Jessie is now being herself. She's not accusatory or making wild accusations any more. I haven't had the chance to talk to her about that. I think we're going to get a counselor or mediator to help with this. I'm soooo relieved to have her back that I don't even want to punish her, but I also realize that she does need consequences and I don't want her thinking she has control of the house.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #16071

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    I could not be happier that she is home. You must be a wreck, dear Chrissy. I just cannot imagine what the past 24 hours have been like for you.

  22. #16072

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    I can totally understand not wanting to punish her yet. It sounds like that officer was really good with her and I hope some of it sank in! I think getting a counselor to help work through this is a great idea.

  23. #16073
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    Yeah, we need a counselor. She never gave any hint that she was upset and I don't want a repeat of this ever again. I want her to be happy, not just act happy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #16074
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    I'm SOOO thrilled she's home. My God, what a day it's been for you.
    Audrey (38) DH (34), Lilly (DD), Logan (DS). Breastfeeding is more than feeding. It is communication between mother and baby. It is a form of nurturing; it is an act of love.

  25. #16075
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    Chrissy, I'm sure you'll sort something out, you're a great mom!

  26. #16076

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    I am so relieved for you that she is home!!! I hope the counseling will help her to be happy and not put up a front for the world and that she will be more open with you in the future.

    Erin

  27. #16077

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    It must feel so good to have her right there with you.

  28. #16078

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    What a terrible time you have had. I'm glad this part is over at least, though i know what is to follow will be challenging. I hope you can get to the bottom of the behavior. You must be exhausted.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  29. #16079
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    How terrible and what a relief at the same time. Phew.


  30. #16080

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    Oh thank god she's safe and home. I hope you're able to work through everything in counseling.
    Karen (28), DF (28), DD (3), DS (2 months)


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