Last edited by AmeriBrit; 11-29-2010 at 01:49 PM.
stacy i read your birth story and it was amazing..i loved it..
speaking of which i need to get 4 double A batteries so i can start wii fitting it again...
I know where my problem is though...I pasta BIG time. And that is a lot of points.....
So it would seem to me that there is new construction...where a builder builds and than you buy it after the fact. Sometimes if they are part way through, you can still pick some finishes. In that case, it should be not much different than buying a 20 yr old house.
Our builder was selling one like that and we liked it...but wanted to make a few changes and pick out stuff ourselves. So we did a custom build. Once we got the floor plan done up, we set up a contract and price. There were a few things we knew off the bat we were upgrading and had that written in...one was the siding color was $750 more, the kitchen cabinets we wanted the 42inch uppers and that was $500 more. And the tub was more since it's 6 ft and deeper/wider than standard and we had to change the floor plan a bit to fit it in. I wish that I had gotten quartz for the countertops instead of laminate but oh well someday we will change that. Our price was guarranteed. The variables were the allowances...and some builders make them too low on purpose so it looks like a cheaper end price knowing that people will go over them. I was paranoid about that so I had him boost the allowances....plus I knew that I didn't want the cheapest things everywhere. Allowances were for flooring, light fixtures, appliances (minus washer/dryer...bank wouldn't let me put those on)....trying to recall if there was much else. I went over in a few areas and under in some areas. I ended up buying my faucets myself from faucetsdirect or faucets.com....much cheaper than even builder discount. I'm a pretty organized person and like having a project so I took care of pretty much everything house related and really stayed on top of what I was spending. At the end, we came in $400 under budget.
I had a really positive building experience but I also stayed on top of things, visited the house almost daily and talked to people working on it, and really took care in picking my builder. I talked to four locally and the one I went with was the only one I would gone with.
Now the house isn't perfect and I have found a few things I would have changed and have had a few issues as the weather has changed and things settle a bit but it's all been minor and all been fixed by the builder.
I LOVE my house.
everybody. Haven't been on all weekend.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
The other biggie was window treatments....new house means NO blinds or verticals. I have 7 windows in my house and it was almost 3K to get those done....granted I paid to have them professionally measured and installed and had to have 3 of them higher end (Dh sleeps during the day so our room was almost 900 to do alone)...but at least they also help with energy efficiency.
The biggest unknown for us now is property taxes. Since the house didn't exist Jan 1st, we only paid on the land this year so not so bad. But we don't know what the taxes will be for sure yet. I'm guessing at this point but many houses are new on my street so not too much to compare to.
So, Sarahlynn, I've been asking the other mods how I can resize your pictures now that I can't just copy your pictures easily, since it's not as easy as it used to be. If you don't want to do it yourself in photobucket, or resize it on your own computer and upload it to pb already sized, I have a couple of different options.
You could send me your pictures and I could resize them for you and send them back to you.
I could delete your signature pictures and see if that would motivate you to resize them.
Let me know!
We are having North Dakota-ish temperatures here. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even own an ice scraper any more. I had to scrape the frost off my windshield this morning with my yogurt container. I only have one winter hat, and it doesn't match any of my jackets. Let me add, I do not miss Wyoming one little bit!!!!
I've found a couple houses that both Rich and I really like. I'm so tempted to just go for them now and worry about getting sued for breaking our lease if/when it happens. The interest rates are so low that it's almost worth it.
One of the houses I've found cost more than I can afford on my own (one of the rules I assigned myself), but it comes with 11 acres. I'm telling myself that if things fall apart with me & Rich later I can either make him buy the wooded part or sell it myself if he can't/won't.
just dont scrape the ice off the window with a porceline coffee mug my father did this and his whole window is scratched lol crazy old man..
ok well everyone will just have to look at the gigantor heads of my children foreveron apa HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA
Well...there's a lot of if's in that equation. For now, it's just a thought. But if we did go for it, I wouldn't be doing so with the thought that we'll end up divorced. If we do end up divorced, I don't think he'd want the woods to live on, but for hunting. The biggest reason I even considered divorce as a possibility was because he was drinking and every time he drank he slept all afternoon and evening. I felt that if I had to live as a single mom, I might as well be a single mom. Except for that issue, we didn't really fight or argue and I cannot see that happening to us ever. Even when we split up for 11 months, we didn't really argue about anything...I argued more with his mom than him and now I know better than to even go there.
So, the 11-acres is still on the table.
And...I my maternal grandparents have been divorced for over 30 years and live right next door to each other. Grandma makes Grandpa pies and they hike in the woods together looking for bears. Divorces can go either way, but I really see myself and Rich behaving more like my grandparents do.
hell i dont even want matt living with me now let alone if were divorced lol
I remember finding out one of my aunts and uncles were divorced when I was like 15 and being shocked.You would have never known it...they lived together for a very long time til their kids grew up. I don't think I'll ever get divorced (well, I better not!) but if I did, I'd have to live close to my DH since I couldn't just up and take the kiddies back to the USA.
Dbf and I would not be friends if we divorced but I would do everything in my power to be cool with him so that the exchange of kids would be smooth and friendly. Wait, we aren't married so..not divorced but separated, or whatever.
I sent my dad an email thanking him for such a great thanksgiving and how important he is to me and he emailed me back that I am his rock. I am his rock. ME?? I don't feel like a rock. It really touched me and I've been thinking about it all day.
I have been thinking about how fast I switched from "I'm leaving his ass!" to "hmm...maybe we could buy a place that has hunting land for him too." He's only been behaving for about a month. At least now I know we'll definitely be waiting till March before we seriously look at houses so I still have some time to figure it out. I know I don't want to put myself in a position where I'm financially dependent on him and have that be the only reason I stay. I don't even feel bad for thinking that. I think it's reasonable.
I do think after the initial shock and heartbreak over our splitting was over, we'd quickly fall into 'good' roles as a divorced couple. If I told him he got the 11 acres and I got the house, he wouldn't fight that at all. He doesn't really ever fight me about anything, actually. Like I said, my issue was his sleeping every stinking day and not being an active parent in the house.
Last edited by missychrissy; 11-30-2010 at 01:22 PM.
I just did one of my free credit report things and it doesn't look bad. I mean, the BK is there but nothing else negative, and that redundant one has been removed. I'm so relieved. And I have my small, secured credit card on there looking good as well as my student loan. What I didn't see is the SBA loan. Maybe they don't report to TransUnion. I'll check the others later...like in a couple months when we're closer to actually applying for a mortgage.
Last edited by missychrissy; 11-30-2010 at 02:21 PM.
I'm really at a loss...I can't send Josh to his room anymore for timeouts because he destroys everything when he's up there...tears the sheets off his bed, unplugs his nightlight, takes a special picture we had drawn of us out of its frame, throws his toys, you get the idea. So I started having him sit in the middle of the floor in the living room. I feel like it's pretty ineffective though. Nothing I do seems to affect him or make his behavior better. He says some very hurtful things and I guess I'm not supposed to take it seriously, but honestly, its like living in an abusive relationship. He talks back to me every chance he gets, won't respond when I ask him direct questions, refuses everything I ask of him and seems to be purposely contrary, saying no to things I suggest even if it would be something he'd enjoy. Am I just supposed to sit back and let him run his own schedule? Do my errands when he's ready? Give him food when he's ready? How often do I give him choices and how often should I be in control? I'm losing my grip on any consistency here and it's wearing me down to feel like we're constantly at odds. This is not what I pictured when I imagined having a child
Today his teacher spoke to me about how they had to talk to him about keeping his hands to himself. He has had a personal space issue lately. I know it's minor but I never thought when he was younger that he'd need to be spoken to about stuff like that. He used to be so respectful and cautious. I know I'm being silly, kids grow and change.
You're not being silly. It is terribly frustrating when your approach doesn't have the result you anticipated. I hope I don't make you feel like I belittle your concerns when I talk about phases. I only mean it as reassurance that 'this too shall pass' because believe me, it will.
He really doesn't sound much different than Conner. I wouldn't be able to put Conner in a room by himself if he were in trouble either. His time out has to happen on the couch.
In my opinion, if you can rearrange your chores or shopping schedule around him, or even when he eats, it really can't hurt. If you're both happy at the end of the day it will cost you nothing and maybe give you relief.
I wish we lived closer. Conner and Josh would likely be great buddies.
Hugs Kate. The toddlers years are hard. Neither of mine will/would ever stay in a time out, period. If I have to tell Savana she needs to go in her room for a minute because the way she's treating us isn't cool, she'll sit right inside her door (I don't close it) and scream, "MOMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE" over and over and over and over until I just want to walk straight out the front door. Eventually she chills and we get through it but man it is hard. And Kai just simply won't do it. He will straight up say, "I am NOT going to time out and I am NOT going to listen to you."
He's also been spitting and other such joys.
Good times. It's a true test of patience I tell ya. It doesn't make it any easier to hear that he's a typical toddler...but he is.
I confess I woke up in a nasty mood (perhaps something to do with the 26 degree temperature in my poorly insulated house and lack of sleep) but when I got to work, one of my little girls (9 years old and nonverbal) kissed me on the cheek in the middle of therapy. She just leaned right over and kissed me - she's never done that before!
Chrissy, question since you have teenagers. My mother was telling me that she got a call from my sister. My niece who is very close to turning 16 has been dating a boy who is the son of my sister's friend - my sister used to babysit him when the kids were very small and then my sister moved out of the city so they lost touch. Now they've reconnected and the kids are dating. He seems like a nice boy. Apparently his mother told him that he isn't allowed to see my niece until Christmas break because she wants him to focus on school (he goes to a very challenging school and is getting ready to apply to colleges). My sister apparently snuck my niece into the city and brought her to him for a clandestine date without telling his mother, who is also her friend. Does this just seem wrong? Do you really need to encourage teenage girls to sneak off with boys? It just seems like she is giving my niece the absolute wrong message about what is important in life, making boys more important than anything else and also encouraging her to be dishonest. What do you guys think?
Last edited by Gwenn; 11-30-2010 at 07:22 PM.
Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12