Secular Confessions

[daylilies]

Okay so I got upset at DH again because he keeps asking me the same questions. What time is your appointment? how long will you be there? so you have no idea how long you'll be there? It's at 2:30 right? Oh, you have to leave at 2? Oh, you have to *be* there at 2?
So then when I lost my patience he said "Sorry, I'm just trying to make conversation"
Seriously? You're driving me up the wall making me think you don't care about anything I say because you can't seem to remember a word of it, and you're just trying to make conversation? Wow.

[missychrissy]

That sort of thing makes me snap too.

[stash]

That sort of thing makes me snap too.

And me. I have two big buttons with DH. #1 is not acknowledging me when I say something (a freaking GRUNT will do) and #2 is not listening well enough to get what I'm saying the first time. Or the second time even.

[daylilies]

Yeah! The kicker was when he said "What do you want me to do?" I said, "Hear me the first time?"
My therapist says you can't talk to guys when they're doing anything else. I get that. But even when we're sitting face to face on the couch, making an effort to connect, he doesn't seem to absorb anything. I'll say something and he'll look at me, and I'll say, "Did you hear me?" and he'll give me some blanket statement like "Yes...that sounds...fun." A lot of times he'll say "I didn't know you needed a response to that." Is it weird to expect some kind of acknowledgement every time something comes out of my mouth?

[stash]

No, it's not weird. I have been harping on DH this year to respond to me, to MATTER what I say, no MATTER what his response is, because now Oscar's picking it up.

[Bridget]

Uhhh, I think your therapist is wrong. I think it's complete bs for a guy to get a pass for being inconsiderate because "he's a guy and that's how guys are".
Now I understand that certain people may have a hard time focusing on conversation when they are doing something else but in that case, have some consideration and STOP what you are doing and listen for a second.

Dbf gets to me because when he's on his computer he doesn't listen. I don't even bother to talk to him but when the kids are standing in front of him saying "Daddy!" over and over again....yeah, I will get pissed. Oh, and he expects them to listen to him immediately after he speaks.

[missychrissy]

That's something between Rich and I too. If I say something, I expect him to respond. How else will I know if he's heard me or not? It doesn't help that various things have come up and he swears up and down I never told him when I know I did...but he doesn't respond to me! Now I find myself saying an irritable, "Rich? Did you hear me?" after nearly every statement. It bugs the ever living piss outta me. He'll snap back, "Yes, I heard you!" but goodness, if he doesn't respond, how can I know? In my opinion, it's a no win situation. If I just assume he heard me, later we'll have a go-round about why I didn't tell him something.

[Cosmosmom]

Yup mine will do that too. Seems just this weekend I was still sleeping and Cosmo went in her litter box and it was very smelly. So my mom told DH...when I got up the laundry room door was closed so I asked why. She said she told DH about the box needing to be picked up and he didn't do it. I asked DH why are you being so stupid and leaving it smelly when we have company (he is usually the one who picks up after her) when mom told you that it was in there. His response was....I didn't know she went and never heard your mom...I must have been in my own little world.

My dad, forget about it. He needs to be told things multiple times and basically we just go around him (me, mom and sister) when planning things like holidays or visits to see each other. Whether we tell him or not, he never knows what is going on and either does not hear us or just forgets.

[missychrissy]

I feel like I must say, for the most part Rich has been a thousand times better. He has stopped drinking since the last week of October and it's like he's a totally different person. I whined about him so much, I thought it would only be fair to say something nice about him for a change

He's even back to picking on me in a funny, good humored way again. I had tried on a dress I used to wear when I was stick thin (and had the body of Olive Oil). I didn't think it would fit because I didn't think I'd lost that much weight, plus I now have boobs but it did. It looked hot and I pranced out in the living room to show him. He got this look on his face, jumped up and scooped me up and ran to the bedroom. I was laughing hysterically...even though nothing could happen 'cause it was the middle of the day and the kids were up and around. It was still fun. He hasn't been playful like that in a loooonnnngggg time. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

[Ky'sMom]

Mine does the same thing. Ky does it now too, so the horrible trend has made it to a new generation. Oddly enough though Ky is not as bad as DH and really he only does it when the TV is on, so we rarely have on the TV now or he won't be able to listen or respond to anything.

My DH doesn't even have to have a TV, computer, or anything. Elle gets in his face sometimes and will ask him to do something for her and he won't even hear her. That is when I will usually give him a "love tap" by smacking his leg or something, then he'll listen to her.

I read a long time ago that men do have different attention spans than women and that they are not capable of multi-tasking as well as women either. And I do believe it.

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

I feel like I must say, for the most part Rich has been a thousand times better. He has stopped drinking since the last week of October and it's like he's a totally different person. I whined about him so much, I thought it would only be fair to say something nice about him for a change

He's even back to picking on me in a funny, good humored way again. I had tried on a dress I used to wear when I was stick thin (and had the body of Olive Oil). I didn't think it would fit because I didn't think I'd lost that much weight, plus I now have boobs but it did. It looked hot and I pranced out in the living room to show him. He got this look on his face, jumped up and scooped me up and ran to the bedroom. I was laughing hysterically...even though nothing could happen 'cause it was the middle of the day and the kids were up and around. It was still fun. He hasn't been playful like that in a loooonnnngggg time. I didn't realize how much I missed it.

Awwwww! That made me smile. That is so great.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

Can I brag a minute? Travis went to play school today and didn't have one accident! We started potty training last week after a few times of talking about it...now, he still asks for a diaper when he needs to poo so he can poo in it so we're still working on that but he can wee for England on the potty! LOL

[daylilies]

Yay silverstar!
I get the same way though, with the attention span...I don't think it's solely a guy thing LOL
If I'm reading something and DH talks to me, I know he's speaking but it's like Charlie Brown, "Wah wah wah wahhh...." LOL
That's cute Chrissy! I'm glad he's been better.

I'm actually trying to stop drinking too. It's not out of control, but it's a bad cycle--I have a drink almost every night, and when I drink, I want to eat, then I want to drink more, etc. So I'm going to try having seltzer water with just a splash of white wine, or virgin bloody marys.

[Bridget]

Go Travis!! Potty training is such a monumental thing for all isn't it?

I do believe I found someone to do the daycare. She came over this morning. She's very quiet but had good interactions with the kids. I just need to call the rest of her references and do a background check, have her come and spend a day or two with us, give her a trial run on her own and then we should be set. I'm SO relieved.
Someone asked about the hippy grandma. I forgot to answer. She's willing to help out in a pinch but can't do it every day because of other obligations. She also has a back injury that flares up periodically that may put her in bed or at the least unable to lift children, which is kind of necessary. Still good to know she can help in an emergency though.
Also, met my doula. Like her tons. She's coming over to see the daycare next week.

[daylilies]

Sounds like good news all around Bridget!

[AmeriBrit]

Yes, I never realized how hard potty training is!

That's great, Bridget; I know that would be a load off your mind, wouldn't it to know that you've got somebody!

Chrissy, that's awesome your Rich is back to his old playful self again. It's nice to read about the nice things hubbies do for their wives.

[missychrissy]

Can I brag a minute? Travis went to play school today and didn't have one accident! We started potty training last week after a few times of talking about it...now, he still asks for a diaper when he needs to poo so he can poo in it so we're still working on that but he can wee for England on the potty! LOL

...I get the same way though, with the attention span...I don't think it's solely a guy thing LOL
If I'm reading something and DH talks to me, I know he's speaking but it's like Charlie Brown, "Wah wah wah wahhh...." LOL
That's cute Chrissy! I'm glad he's been better.

I'm actually trying to stop drinking too. It's not out of control, but it's a bad cycle--I have a drink almost every night, and when I drink, I want to eat, then I want to drink more, etc. So I'm going to try having seltzer water with just a splash of white wine, or virgin bloody marys.

I lol'd because I've said similar things to my boss sounding like the adults on Charlie Brown. He's always trying to talk to me when I'm in the midst of a very important post...er, email response.

I stopped drinking at home too. I figure if I'm going to ask Rich to not drink, then I shouldn't either.

I do believe I found someone to do the daycare. She came over this morning. She's very quiet but had good interactions with the kids. I just need to call the rest of her references and do a background check, have her come and spend a day or two with us, give her a trial run on her own and then we should be set. I'm SO relieved.

Yay!!! That's wonderful Bridget!

[missychrissy]

I might have crossed the line in what's appropriate at work...one of the more technically challenged people left a harried voicemail that her email isn't working. Her husband also works here and is out of the country. Like the director said, she's absolutely lost without him because he really takes care of her. Anyway, neither her office phone or home phone had an answering system or anyone pick up, so I emailed him with instructions to relay to her. I apologized for bothering him, but I still feel it was a bit of a stretch to get him involved.

But I'm sure he'll be talking to her tonight, and I'm about to leave for the day. I didn't really know what else to do. I was only out of the office for 10 minutes when she called...then she didn't answer when I tried her back. Ugh.

[The10Eels]

I confess..................... I met someone!

[Bridget]

I confess..................... I met someone!

Um........DETAILS PLEASE!!!!

[daylilies]

I confess..................... I met someone!

Ooo!
Chrissy...I don't think it would be a problem...at least I hope it isn't! I'd appreciate it that you made the effort to help when you couldn't reach me.

[The10Eels]

He is 33 (in feb) and a single dad. He has a 9 year old daughter. He was in some trouble when he was younger (drugs and alcohol) but is clean and sober for almost 3 years now.

I work with his sister, and she introduced us officially, but I had seen him come into the store a few times.

I confess he is not the greatest looking guy, but absolutely sweet, and tells me every day how beautiful I am.

I wasn't too sure about him at first, but seeing him interact with his daughter, and my girls changed my mind. The girls loved him, and were totally at ease around him. He invited us over for lunch yesterday, and they climbed right up in his bed, and took a nap! lol

[daylilies]

Aww, sweet.

[missychrissy]

I hope it works out!!

[missychrissy]

Ooo!
Chrissy...I don't think it would be a problem...at least I hope it isn't! I'd appreciate it that you made the effort to help when you couldn't reach me.

I was nervous that he'd feel put out because he's really high up and I haven't had a lot of contact with him so I wasn't sure how he'd feel about being made a messenger boy, but he responded shortly after I made that post and he was very kind and gracious.

[daylilies]

Great!

[missychrissy]

Why do I feel somewhat guilty and sneaky for googling my co-workers names? A lot of these people have written books and are famous in their realm...der, I'm glad I didn't know when I started or I probably would have acted stupid in front of them.

[Gwenn]

Forgive me, I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure it was Gwenn who recommended the valerian root--
Does your husband take it at night or in the morning? The ones I got said to take them at night for a restful sleep, but I'm not trying to get a restful sleep, I just want to be less tense during the day.

I know he takes them at night but he says it helps with his mood in the daytime. I'll ask him if he takes another dose in the morning or just the one at night.

I confess..................... I met someone!

So happy for you!

[3andMe]

I confess..................... I met someone!

Yay, how exciting!

Why do I feel somewhat guilty and sneaky for googling my co-workers names? A lot of these people have written books and are famous in their realm...der, I'm glad I didn't know when I started or I probably would have acted stupid in front of them.

I think that is actually THE smart and responsible thing to do. Just don't do it at work when you might get caught.

Speaking of, one of my co-workers went totally nuts and vanished for a month--eventually after two weeks called in and said he wasn't coming back for another few weeks, but remained inscrutable as to whether he was out on medical leave or not. I found his Facebook page, and he was bragging about being in Mexico and doing a lot of drugs. I captured a screen shot, feeling like a hotshot detective, because he really did screw us all over by just disappearing without a word and everyone was worried about him. Well, he eventually returned with a doctor's note and said he was on medical leave. When confronted with the multiple FB status reports, he said that someone had hijacked his account. Despite the pictures. He quit the next week. I guess he'd just come back to get the annual bonus check.

[missychrissy]

There aren't any rules about internet use here, and I'm not looking because I think any of them have done anything bad. I'm fascinated. Robert Morgan had one of his books featured on Oprah's Book of the Month Club. Far out!! Cynthia Chase is Chevy Chase's 1/2 sister. They're an interesting bunch...but I feel incredibly nosy....like it's rude or something. I dunno why. I have weird hang-ups.

That's just crazy Lydia! What are people thinking when they try to lie to their employer when they're posting other stuff on Facebook?