Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

Yipes, sorry to all the moms worried about their kids for various reasons. I don't suppose it ever gets easier. This is a weird thing to say, but I've fleetingly caught myself wishing that Bodhi would grow to be a sullen, ungrateful, unlikeable young man, so I could allow myself to stop feeling so much concern for him. It's just so stressful to love anything this much. That makes no sense, I know, because I'll have failed as a parent if he becomes like that. Just one of the bizarre things that pops into my head.

I'm having a really, really nice time in TX with Abbeysmom right now. Bodhi gets on swimmingly with Abbey. Plus, we made falafel, hummus, tzatziki and tabouleh last night. Oh my flippin' yum!

Silverstar - I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope he turns up!

[Cosmosmom]

This is from mayoclinic.com

How do birth control pills affect your risk of cancer?

Scientific evidence suggests using birth control pills for longer periods of time increases your risk of some cancers, such as cervical cancer and liver cancer, but it also decreases your risk of other types of cancer, including ovarian cancer and endometrial cancer.
The effect of birth control pills on breast cancer risk isn't quite clear. However, some studies do show a link between pill use and breast cancer. Key factors seem to be how many years you take the pill and how recently you last used the pill. In one study, use of birth control pills led to a higher risk of premenopausal breast cancer in women who took the pill for four or more years before having a baby. Other evidence suggests that 10 or more years after you stop taking the pill, your breast cancer risk returns to the same level as if you had never taken birth control pills.

I did take them for about 7 or 8 years and for what it's worth, I do not blame them for our infertility. I know I ovulate and pretty much have since stopping and am fairly regular. I never did have an HSG to test the tubes so that could be the problem but I figured why pay for the test when I have no risk factors and if they are blocked, we know IVF isn't an option.
I think it's probably a combo of lifestyle and timing.

[Ky'sMom]

I have also heard about the BCP and breast cancer links. My paternal grandmother died at 35 and my family swears it is because she took the first set of BCPs that came on the market. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at 29 and had been taking them for a few years. I took them for a year before I got PG with Ky and am afraid of them. I was thinking of getting back on them, but am too chicken.

On another note though. Surprising medical things keep happening and I'm wondering if it is my time to go through another stressful time. I know I'm weird but since I was a girl I noticed that every 4 years or so I go through some really stressful times.

My DH's tongue swelled up really large last night around 3am and we had to take him to the emergency room. We thought it was just some sort of extreme allergic reaction but now the doctors think he may have some sort of rare genetic disease called hereditary angioedema because DH's reaction didn't respond to any normal treatments for allergic reactions. I googled this and it said that in some people with this disorder that they may react to NSAID medications and it is rare for people to be allergic to NSAIDs. Ky is allergic to NSAIDs and had a horrible reaction a couple years ago and his face was swollen for about 4 days even with benadryl, claritin, and an epi-pen, so now I'm worried he may have this disease and maybe Elle. There is a 50/50 chance. So I'm thinking I may have to brace for my stress year.

Erin

[stash]

So side note, I really think you should have an HSG. There's a clinically proven increase in pregnancy rates following HSG. I didn't get pregnant once in over a year and a half and got pregnant the first time the first cycle after my HSG,,, pretty sure there was some "dust" in my tubes.

[Aelith]

My DH's tongue swelled up really large last night around 3am and we had to take him to the emergency room. We thought it was just some sort of extreme allergic reaction but now the doctors think he may have some sort of rare genetic disease called hereditary angioedema because DH's reaction didn't respond to any normal treatments for allergic reactions. I googled this and it said that in some people with this disorder that they may react to NSAID medications and it is rare for people to be allergic to NSAIDs. Ky is allergic to NSAIDs and had a horrible reaction a couple years ago and his face was swollen for about 4 days even with benadryl, claritin, and an epi-pen, so now I'm worried he may have this disease and maybe Elle. There is a 50/50 chance. So I'm thinking I may have to brace for my stress year.

Erin

Hi, sorry to pop in where I don't belong but I wanted to tell you I have an allergy to NSAIDs that takes a notoriously long time to react to meds. My face also swells up and it takes 2 - 3 days of Benadryl to go down. My allergist advised me this is normal with NSAID allergy - to have a slow/non-existent response to counteragents like Benadryl and the epi pen. Also, it can come on suddenly in adulthood for the first time (which is what mine did last year) after years of being able to take NSAIDs and aspirin.

[Gwenn]

The other issue with birth control pills is the blood clotting factor. My cousin took BCP to regulate her periods and three months later had a pulmonary embolism, which killed her. Her family was tested and both of her parents have a recessive clotting factor, and her mother had a second clotting factor on top of that. So my cousin certainly had one and may have had two genetic reasons to explain the embolism. I have one of those factors myself so will never take birth control. If you aren't at increased risk for clotting, it's fine, but I would advocate that you test for clotting factors before starting BCP - she never knew she had any increased risk for clotting when she started taking them. And her mother took them for years, so she had no reason to suspect there would be a problem.

[missychrissy]

I'm having a really, really nice time in TX with Abbeysmom right now. Bodhi gets on swimmingly with Abbey. Plus, we made falafel, hummus, tzatziki and tabouleh last night. Oh my flippin' yum!

Oh how fun!!!! I'm so jealous!

My DH's tongue swelled up really large last night around 3am and we had to take him to the emergency room. We thought it was just some sort of extreme allergic reaction but now the doctors think he may have some sort of rare genetic disease called hereditary angioedema because DH's reaction didn't respond to any normal treatments for allergic reactions. I googled this and it said that in some people with this disorder that they may react to NSAID medications and it is rare for people to be allergic to NSAIDs. Ky is allergic to NSAIDs and had a horrible reaction a couple years ago and his face was swollen for about 4 days even with benadryl, claritin, and an epi-pen, so now I'm worried he may have this disease and maybe Elle. There is a 50/50 chance. So I'm thinking I may have to brace for my stress year.

Erin

That's so scary Erin. I really hope this doesn't turn into a stressful year for you.

[missychrissy]

The other issue with birth control pills is the blood clotting factor. My cousin took BCP to regulate her periods and three months later had a pulmonary embolism, which killed her. Her family was tested and both of her parents have a recessive clotting factor, and her mother had a second clotting factor on top of that. So my cousin certainly had one and may have had two genetic reasons to explain the embolism. I have one of those factors myself so will never take birth control. If you aren't at increased risk for clotting, it's fine, but I would advocate that you test for clotting factors before starting BCP - she never knew she had any increased risk for clotting when she started taking them. And her mother took them for years, so she had no reason to suspect there would be a problem.

Good to know. I knew all this stuff about bcp's but have since forgotten all the possible negative side effects. Crap.

[Cosmosmom]

So side note, I really think you should have an HSG. There's a clinically proven increase in pregnancy rates following HSG. I didn't get pregnant once in over a year and a half and got pregnant the first time the first cycle after my HSG,,, pretty sure there was some "dust" in my tubes.

Yeah I know, I have thought about it. Basically I'm kind of chicken and worried about pain and worried about the test causing infection. and the cost of the test is I believe about $1500. And I did look it up and a lot depends on if they use saline or oil based dye. So I worry about doing it and still not getting pg and I could have used the money towards the adoption.
I have basically been told to lose weight...which I do need to do and have been trying.
And I need to get with DH more often. I know some months we had good timing but I do there are a lot where we have been totally off.

And right now we need to just wait a bit because we found out that the place he works is being sold and probably won't know many details for a month or so. This could be a good thing, it could end up being a bad thing. But until we know more, we are on a money lockdown.

but I will think about doing one more in the spring.......

[Cosmosmom]

Erin.

[daylilies]

I just came back from the mall with Josh. I think for the first time in my life I have started Christmas shopping before December, LOL
We were in toys R us and there was an older, grandmotherly like woman there who was looking around near us. I kept cautioning Josh to be careful because he was bouncing off the walls all day and not looking where he was going. Every time the woman heard me say "Careful Josh" she'd say "He's FINE". Ooo it made me so mad! Don't tell me my child is fine when he's not being considerate of people around him.

[missychrissy]

Maybe she thought she was reassuring you? I know I get anxious if Conner is getting out of control near strangers (and he picks up on that and acts worse!). Perhaps she was just trying to let you know that Josh wasn't bothering her?

[Bridget]

I have to say that kind of bugs me too, Kate. But then I've caught myself doing it. Like when kids hang around us at the park or something and the mom keeps calling them away I've changed it from "Oh, it's ok" to, "It doesn't bother us, just so you know."

The thing is people almost always have good intentions but it's still counterproductive when you are trying to get your child to listen. It happened to me twice recently. I was at a good friend's new place recently and my kids along with some other kids kept going upstairs. Well I was telling them I needed them with me and when they came down she was all, "We don't mind at all if they play up there." So they ran back up! I ended up just trudging up and down the steps every 5 minutes to check on them. I don't like my kids where I can't see them at this age. Plus, I don't want them destroying something!
Then when we were at dinner at dbf's client's home they were WALKING on her couch! She had a huge fluffy wide couch and I told them they needed to sit on the couch and she was like, "Oh, it's fine! My dog jumps all over them so your kids can."
Yeah, super nice of you to offer but I don't want them cracking their heads open on your glass coffee table and also, come on. I really don't want my kids going to people's homes and thinking they can just start jumping on the couch!

[daylilies]

I understand what you're both saying. She just was saying it like she was condescending to me for wanting him to be careful. It's fine if he wasn't bothering her but that wasn't the point, I just wanted him to be careful of himself and others.

[Bridget]

No, I get it. It bugs me too.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok so now I'm really thinking of just being brave and going for the HSG (funny but this freaks me out more than the gastric bypass did). Was thinking of waiting until spring BUT I'm changing insurance plans and it would be much cheaper for me to get it done this year.

I figure that I'm back on all the vitamins and even doing some herbal supplements and trying to lose weight...might as well give it a last good shot before starting to pay for adoption things. And I guess if they say it's totally closed up, I can stop getting disappointed every month.

Stacy was it that bad? I made the mistake of looking it up two years ago in the doctor resources and freaked myself out. The NP did say that they would give a shot of high does ibuprofen an hour before and I think she said she would prescribe me a Valium. Too bad they probably wouldn't like it if I showed up after a couple of brandys...that would relax me.

I can do this, right?

[stash]

The HSG was NOT that bad. It hurt like heck for a very brief moment, but it was literally like two seconds.

Birth is much more painful.

[3andMe]

I took hormonal birth control for 20 years (! gah, can't believe I'm old enough to be saying that), including taking birth control pills around the year before they even came out with that kind of schedule, and Depo, starting from age 15. It didn't affect my fertility as far as I know, since I had no difficulty getting pregnant even at advanced maternal age.

My sister has a clotting disorder and has not been on hormones since she was in ICU for clots in 1992.

[Cosmosmom]

The HSG was NOT that bad. It hurt like heck for a very brief moment, but it was literally like two seconds.

Birth is much more painful.

Did you get any drugs for it?
Yeah I figure birth is much worse but I thought I would ignore that until it was too late.

[Bridget]

Quiet in here today.
What exactly do they do at a HSG?

It's cold and rainy here today and I like it. We've just been downstairs warm and cozy all day.
I just sent out 15 emails on care.com trying to find someone to run my daycare. My emergency plan was for dbf to help me out if I couldn't find a sub but that is not an option any longer. Kai was sick yesterday and the day before and dbf did such a crap job taking care of his own son that i wouldn't dare rely on him for anything in that dept.
I'm getting nervous! I have to find someone!

[Ky'sMom]

Whatever happened the hippie mom? She sounded promising.

I was happy DH is better today. He got out of the hospital last night and was excited that since he was admitted we won't have to pay the $100 co-pay. He actually was considering not going to the ER because of the co-pay while his tongue was swollen. I think my cheapness is rubbing off on him too much.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Ugh-I hate that money even has to be a factor when considering whether or not to go to the ER. I was going back and forth with that myself when Jess was doubled over and crying in pain. On one hand, I was pretty sure it was the ovarian cyst, but like her dr said the symptoms mimicked an appendicitis. I still owe about $500 from the last ER visists & I didn't want to add to that, but I seriously do not want to have something happen to her. I get so angry every time I think about how much our health care system sucks.

[Ky'sMom]

Ugh-I hate that money even has to be a factor when considering whether or not to go to the ER. I was going back and forth with that myself when Jess was doubled over and crying in pain. On one hand, I was pretty sure it was the ovarian cyst, but like her dr said the symptoms mimicked an appendicitis. I still owe about $500 from the last ER visists & I didn't want to add to that, but I seriously do not want to have something happen to her. I get so angry every time I think about how much our health care system sucks.

I hate it is a factor as well. We will be really tight this week with money and I had let DH know that so he didn't even wake me up until he could barely breathe because he didn't want us to have to pay for it. It makes me wonder WTF are people talking about when they say that if everyone has health insurance that they will always be at the doctor or hospital. I only go to the doctor once a year and I have great insurance and we avoid the ER like the plague, mostly because I'm afraid of the illnesses there.

I hope Jessica is feeling better. My younger sister used to have cysts pains like that when she was around 14 and went on BCPs and hasn't had any problems since then, she is 22 now and has a 2 year old so she had no sort of fertility problems or anything related to them. The pains started for her when she was like 12 years old and got worse and worse until she got on BCP. Even though I'm afraid of BCP, I'm happy they are around to help those who need them.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Bridget, the HSG is a test where they shoot dye up through the cervix into the uterus and take x-rays to see where it goes. This can show if the uterus is abnomally shaped or if the tubes are blocked. Some think that there is a slight increase in fertility for about three months afterwards but this is mostly when they use oil based dye...and now most places use water based dye that hasn't seen that affect. There is also a 1% chance of infection afterwards leading to PID.

Spent some time this morning looking it up again since it has been 2 years since I decided to not do it....and I have come to the same conclusion again. It's $1500 and they use water here...so not going to see any real benefits and will increase risk of infection. And since I cannot afford IVF, really not a huge point to knowing if I'm blocked or not. We have pretty much got our heads on the adoption track next year. That $1500 is half the cost of my home study.

I work in health care at a hospital....and yet I avoid see the doctor as much as possible. I have to go at least once a year to get my thyroid tested and meds renewed. But yeah when you add in copays and deductibles and coinsurance.....it adds up! And that is on top of what we pay each month in premiums. My DH will only go like once every few years. Obviously if something was an emergency, we would go.

[3andMe]

Claire has pneumonia. The twins have been sick all week, but Claire has been extra sick and I was particularly worried about her when I took her back in for a recheck today. She hasn't eaten in days and is having a hard time breathing and her temperature climbs to 102.8 the second the Ibuprofen starts wearing off. I feel so badly for her.

[stash]

Oh no Lydia

[Gwenn]

Oh, poor Claire! Pneumonia is awful.

[missychrissy]

I'm so sorry Lydia

[daylilies]

I'm sorry Lydia I hope she's better soon

[Cosmosmom]

Oh no I hope Claire starts feeling better soon. Poor thing and poor momma.