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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #14401

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    Walmart lady is hilarious!!! OMG I can't imagine what one of my kids would say if we were behind her in line (Ky especially).

    Speaking of Ky though, I confess I had a parent teacher conference last night and I almost cried when they were telling me what a great kid that Ky was and how he is so imaginative and energetic and eager to learn. I am getting choked up thinking about it right now. They even spoke how he doesn't let other kid's behavior influence how he acts, he's always the same sweet guy. I just love him, he is such a wonderful person. Sometimes I am worried I don't convey that to him enough.

    In DH news though, they did say that Ky talks too much in school, his only "needs work" skill. DH has now been harping about it and I don't understand how he can just focus so much on the one negative and not be amazed at how great our son is. He even was going on and on about it this morning and trying to sound all stern. He thinks Ky should strive for perfection, his words. I guess we don't see eye to eye about it. Nobody is perfect and really IMO he is perfectly himself so what standard of perfection should he be striving for. Something I guess to make one go "hmmmmmmmmm."

    Erin

  2. #14402

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    Oh, wow. That Walmart picture is too much. Did you get a look at her(?) from the front? I'm picturing way too much eye makeup and hot pink lipstick.

    Erin, that's awesome that Ky is doing so well. I don't think "talking too much" is exactly a fault or most kids would be guilty of it! I know in school you're supposed to mostly listen but that can take a while to enforce, right?
    Good luck with Rich, Chrissy.
    I think you should get behavior training for Koa, Bridget. Even our most laid back cat who just loves everyone lifts his paw up to swipe when Josh gets too close or touches his tail. It's a reasonable reaction, I think. I think it's good for kids to learn in a controlled environment that animals will react when provoked so that when they encounter an unfamiliar animal they know not to get too close.

  3. #14403

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Oh, wow. That Walmart picture is too much. Did you get a look at her(?) from the front? I'm picturing way too much eye makeup and hot pink lipstick.
    Erin, that's awesome that Ky is doing so well. I don't think "talking too much" is exactly a fault or most kids would be guilty of it! I know in school you're supposed to mostly listen but that can take a while to enforce, right?
    Good luck with Rich, Chrissy.
    I think you should get behavior training for Koa, Bridget. Even our most laid back cat who just loves everyone lifts his paw up to swipe when Josh gets too close or touches his tail. It's a reasonable reaction, I think. I think it's good for kids to learn in a controlled environment that animals will react when provoked so that when they encounter an unfamiliar animal they know not to get too close.
    Mimi from that Drew Carey show!! I could SO see that

    One of A Kind

  4. #14404
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I just came home from my dinner with dad and bro to dbf telling me that our dog, Koa bit Kai. I went to check him but he's sleeping and I don't want to wake him. Dbf says he has as small Mark on his cheek. Koa thought Kai was taking his bone from him, maybe Kai was. Not sure. But he BIT KAI.
    I'm kind of freaking out. I don't know what to do. We can't keep him. Can we? We can't. He's normally a sweet, eager to please dog and I love him very much.. I'm just torn up about it. Last week he did growl at Savana when she reached for a puzzle piece close to his face when he was chewing his bone. But it was a low growl and he didn't lash out or anything. I expressed concern to dbf about it but that was it.

    I can't risk his biting the kids.
    I think that it sounds like in this case it's the kids, not the dog. Pretty much all dogs I know and have had will growl and even snap if you get between them and their food/bones.
    Even Cosmo who is part cocker and the sweetest girl ever is protective of a bone and I've spent the entire 7 years we have had her working on that. If she realizes you are going to take it and tell her to give, she will. But if you just snatch it from her unexpectedly, she will growl.
    I had always assumed that we would have a baby when Cosmo was maybe 2-4 years old so as a baby and even today, I pull on her ears, pull on her feet, get up in her face and take away her toys/food/bones. But yeah without much warning, she will growl. And when she does, she gets corrected right away as she knows better.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #14405

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    Oh my big hairness! Wow. I almost spit out my drink.

    Bridget, it does sound like the doggie situation needs lots of attention. I agree with kate that it's an opportunity to teach both Koa & Kai. I don't think I'd be ready to part with my dog if something like that happened, but I can appreciate what a tough choice you have.

    Erin - go Ky! He sounds awesome. And I love chatty kids.

    Chrissy, I think you would do extremely well and be happy on your own. That's not to say you shouldn't work at it all you want with Rich, but I just wanted to say that, from here, you seem to have much going for you, and Rich could maybe stand to lose your presence from his life even for just a little while to recognize what he has. Whatever you do, I hope you don't stay because Rich might "fall" without you. I'm perhaps focusing too much on my own experience and not on the reality of your sitch, but I am in a real "let them stumble and learn" place in my life right now, particularly with all the recent messiness with my sister. Your mention of Rich's drinking reminds me of my sister's drinking. I have been trying in various ways to "save her" for 20 years now. I think she's surrounded by enablers.

    Hawaii was really awkward with her, btw. That part stunk. But we only spent a couple days with them (she was sullen and quiet the whole time. thankfully.) The rest of the time was lovely. Hung out with my parents, friends who live on the islands, including one mama from my Jan due date group I met over there last year. It's funny how millions of tourists go there every year, and I suspect we all come away from it feeling a deeply personal connection to Hawaii. It does feel like home when I go each year. Cool place.

    Oh yeah, and I lost my job contract largely on account of my travel schedule. I wasn't that thrilled with the work anyway, and we're likely moving 45 min away soon, so I'd have had to give it up anyway. Am stoked to be home.

  6. #14406

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Congrats!!

    Kate, sunshine helps with depression too. If you can get in direct sunlight, I highly suggest it.
    We do get out and about quite a bit, but I'm worried about the winter. It's always a low point for me. I also get very tired and demotivated when it so much as gets cloudy out.

    Quote Originally Posted by patti_jim View Post
    Mimi from that Drew Carey show!! I could SO see that
    Yeah, something like that! LOL

  7. #14407
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    Bridget, was the bone like a rawhide one? Is Koa posseive over other toys and regular dog food?

    I have always had cockapoos...Cosmo is more poodle like but my dog before was very cocker like. He was a good dog, great with kids....i did a lot of babysitting babies/toddlers with him and he was great with them and later my little cousins. But if you gave him a rawhide and tried to take it away or come near him until it was gone....OMG, he would be downright nasty about it.

    My parents have a 3 yr old bichon/shih tzu mix...Cosmo is 7. They get along just fine....until one day we we gave them each a new toy. All heck broke loose and it was like the two both got possessed or something. I had never seen either of them act like that before. So no more new toys until either we go home or Charlie goes home with my parents.

    So I'm thinking maybe no bones for Koa or at least no bones unless you are there to closely supervise him with the kids....and see if that helps or he shows any other signs of aggression.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #14408
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    Myles, welcome back! So, you're still staying in the neighborhood?

    Bridget, I don't know what I'd do about your dog situation. I can say that we have one cat that has scratched both twins on several occasions and even nipped at them when they have pulled her tail or her fur or grabbed at her, after warning indications from her. I didn't consider getting rid of her, and I'm wondering what the difference between our situations is--because if you've seen Jenny's Ronin and his cat attack, there can be significant damage from a cat, too. Each time, I talk to the twins about what the cat is doing (putting her ears back, growling, trying to move away) and what they're doing (not being gentle, pulling hair, hitting) and how the cat is trying to protect herself because she's so much littler than they are. I've been using it as an opportunity to learn.

    I do know this cat, also, and out of our three cats, she is the one who is willing to put up with them petting her and she's the friendliest one, so it's not like she's mean. She just has boundaries. I think in Jenny's case, she got rid of the cat who attacked her Ronin because that cat had a lot of issues and in addition to the fury of that one attack, was probably likely to attack again.

    I don't think you can take a single isolated incident and determine an entire animal's future based on it, but I also think you have to base it on the animal, the child, and figure how often the child and the animal are going to be left alone together (or relatively unsupervised).

    Man, that was a really long answer for "it depends."

    Kate, I also get very unhappy when the days get shorter. Even if I get outside all the time. In fact, I get depressed just THINKING about the change of seasons. I have been thinking about ordering full-spectrum lights for decades, actually, and have never gotten around to it. Just in the past two weeks I've noticed a significant change in the time of sunset (there isn't much time to go play in the park after I pick up the kids from preschool) and I'm finding that very disheartening). When I lived in Wyoming and worked in a department without windows, there were entire days I didn't see the daylight in the middle of winter, and I hated that.


  9. #14409

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    The bones are gone now. But we've had Koa for almost a year and this behavior is new. He never got possesive of bones or food before.
    I just don't know. A lot of people are advising to try different things and see if it works but the only way to see if it works is if he bites again and what if it's worse?

    And the kids don't take his bones from him. They know not to do that. These incidents happen when they are just near him and he "thinks" they're going to take it. They are getting to the age where they can follow guidelines but we have a new one coming who will not be at the age for a few years yet.
    This sucks.

  10. #14410
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    Do you know how old Koa is?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #14411

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    He is about 2 years old, give or take a few months.

  12. #14412
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    Hmmm, I have found that in generally dogs get crabbier as they get older. But than again we both ended up with a few accidental bites from Cosmo especially when she was younger and playing and she got overly excited and misjudged the distance between her toy and us (usually hands).
    How bad was the bite again?
    If you decide not to keep him, I might have a home for him. DH's mom has been talking about getting grandma and grandpa a dog again...they have had ones before and miss having one but do not want to deal with a puppy. They enjoying babysitting MIL's springer spaniel but he's a bit bigger dog than they would like. Grandma and Grandpa are older and in decent health but if they couldn't take care of a dog anymore, MIL would take it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #14413

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Hmmm, I have found that in generally dogs get crabbier as they get older. But than again we both ended up with a few accidental bites from Cosmo especially when she was younger and playing and she got overly excited and misjudged the distance between her toy and us (usually hands).
    How bad was the bite again?
    If you decide not to keep him, I might have a home for him. DH's mom has been talking about getting grandma and grandpa a dog again...they have had ones before and miss having one but do not want to deal with a puppy. They enjoying babysitting MIL's springer spaniel but he's a bit bigger dog than they would like. Grandma and Grandpa are older and in decent health but if they couldn't take care of a dog anymore, MIL would take it.
    It's mostly scratches. Like, four of them on his cheek but one spot where the tooth went through his skin. So he has a scab about the size of Koa's tooth, like a puncture almost.

  14. #14414
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    I think that you can really be the only one to decide. It's hard because I'm sure that the kids would be pretty upset to lose their dog and growing up with animals is great for little kids immune systems.

    I don't think that I would do it....I cannot imagine living without a dog as I have had them pretty much my entire life. It would have to be a pretty vicious attack for me to remove a dog that was mine.
    Of course that is said with the whole I don't have kids thing so I possibly couldn't understand. I do plan to have one at some point though and can try to imagine.....but really dogs are in our blood. My aunt has three (and my cousins are little), I always had one or two and there was always a lot of kids around my house. DH grew up with a dog too.

    It doesn't really sound like this is a serious problem that cannot be overcome with a bit of training, correction and removing of trigger items. But you have to the one comfortable with the decision for the family.

    Cosmo scratches us by accident kind of often but we hold her a lot and those little legs just sometimes move unexpectedly. When she was little we called her vampire Cosmo. And two years ago, she stepped in my eye and scratched that and I missed two days of work and had to see the eye doctor.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #14415
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Chrissy, I think you would do extremely well and be happy on your own. That's not to say you shouldn't work at it all you want with Rich, but I just wanted to say that, from here, you seem to have much going for you, and Rich could maybe stand to lose your presence from his life even for just a little while to recognize what he has. Whatever you do, I hope you don't stay because Rich might "fall" without you. I'm perhaps focusing too much on my own experience and not on the reality of your sitch, but I am in a real "let them stumble and learn" place in my life right now, particularly with all the recent messiness with my sister. Your mention of Rich's drinking reminds me of my sister's drinking. I have been trying in various ways to "save her" for 20 years now. I think she's surrounded by enablers.
    I get what you're saying but I don't believe I'm going to save him. I don't even want to try. He's on his own with this one. In fact, I'm a little irritated because I know as a supportive wife I probably should refrain from having my own alcohol in the house...but I don't see that happening.

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Hawaii was really awkward with her, btw. That part stunk. But we only spent a couple days with them (she was sullen and quiet the whole time. thankfully.) The rest of the time was lovely. Hung out with my parents, friends who live on the islands, including one mama from my Jan due date group I met over there last year. It's funny how millions of tourists go there every year, and I suspect we all come away from it feeling a deeply personal connection to Hawaii. It does feel like home when I go each year. Cool place.

    Oh yeah, and I lost my job contract largely on account of my travel schedule. I wasn't that thrilled with the work anyway, and we're likely moving 45 min away soon, so I'd have had to give it up anyway. Am stoked to be home.
    Boo on things being awkward, but I guess it could have been worse. Sorry about your job.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #14416
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Kate, I also get very unhappy when the days get shorter. Even if I get outside all the time. In fact, I get depressed just THINKING about the change of seasons. I have been thinking about ordering full-spectrum lights for decades, actually, and have never gotten around to it. Just in the past two weeks I've noticed a significant change in the time of sunset (there isn't much time to go play in the park after I pick up the kids from preschool) and I'm finding that very disheartening). When I lived in Wyoming and worked in a department without windows, there were entire days I didn't see the daylight in the middle of winter, and I hated that.
    Me too. I hate the fall almost as much as winter just because it's an indication of what is coming.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #14417
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    Erin, Ky sounds like an awesome kid-good job on raising such a great kid!

    Chrissy, I hope things turn around for you and Rich!

    Kate, how are things? Have you gone back home now?

    My news of the day-I found Whoppers in a little sweets shop in our neighborhood! Woot woot! I love when I can find nice American food here...the other day my friend brought me some Mt. Dew as they've started selling that here only it's a different formula (something to do with the ingredients not being allowed here in the UK?)and doesn't taste like the real thing but I'm addicted to it now! LOL

  18. #14418
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    Oh, and I know about the dark nights bringin ya down...it's dark here at just after 5...in December, it will be dark by 4....I hate English winters! They last way too long!

  19. #14419

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    See, I guess I was meant to be a wisconsin girl. I love love loved living in Hawaii for all the sunshine weather but I don't mind hunkering down in the winter time. It gets long I admit but I actually really like playing in the snow with the kids. I think winter can be beautiful.

    And when spring comes it is the most glorious feeling ever!

  20. #14420
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    mmm...now I'm suddenly starving for Whoppers! I haven't had any in years.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #14421
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    See, I guess I was meant to be a wisconsin girl. I love love loved living in Hawaii for all the sunshine weather but I don't mind hunkering down in the winter time. It gets long I admit but I actually really like playing in the snow with the kids. I think winter can be beautiful.

    And when spring comes it is the most glorious feeling ever!
    Never been to Hawaii but have been to Florida. We couldn't do it either. I just wish that I didn't have to drive on days it snows....if only I didn't have to work, winter would be fun. It really could be just a tad shorter though!
    I don't even mind those bright sunny days in Jan where the sky is that crisp blue and everything is sparkling with snow....than you go out and wham, it's -10. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #14422
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    I hate the cold, too. Even if the inside of the house is 75 degrees, if the outside is 50 I'm still cold. The corners are still drafty. It drives dh crazy because he's completely the opposite. He gets all sweaty if it's above 60 degrees, and he's happy wearing shorts and sandals in the coldest weather. Fall and winter make me glum for many reasons.


  23. #14423

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    I was always bored with Hawaiian weather. All sunshine and rainbows all the time, blech. I loved when it rained for 43 days straight. It was great!

  24. #14424

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    Quote Originally Posted by stephmama View Post
    I was always bored with Hawaiian weather. All sunshine and rainbows all the time, blech. I loved when it rained for 43 days straight. It was great!
    OMG I remember that! I loved it too. My brother was visiting so he wasn't thrilled but I was loving just staying inside reading all day. I loved not feeling obligated to go out and enjoy the weather!
    I still can't believe we were in Hawaii at the same time. AND you came to the bar where I worked.

  25. #14425

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    Remember the raw sewage spilling into the ocean then? Gross! I felt so bad for anyone visiting. Hawaii was all rain with a brown ocean and deadly beaches. Fun!


    I know! You probably served me a drink or two. Oh Waikiki, I had many ridiculous nights there. Many I don't even remember....
    Last edited by stephmama; 10-22-2010 at 02:56 PM.

  26. #14426

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    That was awful. The Ala Wai was a nasty little channel of water to begin with but then add raw sewage to the mix..

    I had way too many nights Waikiki that I may or not remember in all of their entirety.
    God that was fun.

  27. #14427

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    Too bad we didn't know each other pre-kids.

  28. #14428

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    I know what you're saying about fall, Chrissy!
    I'm back home. Dh was not receptive when I got home. He was pissed that I left without any notice (even though I did stay overnight and most of a day before I left). He had to use his sick days so he could stay with Josh. His mom could have watched him though, or he could have asked me for our sitter's number.
    So he was cleaning when I got home and after about 20 minutes he finally asked me what was up. I ran some things by him that I'd like to see changed and he said they seemed do-able. He said that he's going to give himself more credit and not just stay with me for Josh's sake. If I take off on short notice again he's not going to let me come back. So I guess we have a lot of rebuilding to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by patti_jim View Post
    Mimi from that Drew Carey show!! I could SO see that
    Totally what I was expecting too, but her make-up was quite tame... Maybe she ran out, cause she did buy quite a bit... lol

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    See, I guess I was meant to be a wisconsin girl.
    We have to watch Food Network in the cafe at work (per corporate). Today, Sandra Lee was talking about growing up in Madison and I totally thought of you.

  30. #14430

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    Quote Originally Posted by stephmama View Post
    Too bad we didn't know each other pre-kids.
    Who knows. Maybe we ran into each other one night and neither of us remember!

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