So, you guys, ugh. Major drama over here. My sister has a history of both mental illness and infidelity. She's had to be committed before, and the last time she was caught cheating, I think she sort of faked or at least exaggerated another mental breakdown so everyone would be sympathetic for her. Her DH already forgave her for it that time, and for years we thought she was all better. However, about 6 months ago, she made a comment to me about a male friend of hers and I suspected right then that she was cheating again.
We are currently renting the house we live in from her. It's much nicer than what we can afford, and she's doing us a favor, charging us half of what she pays in mortgage for it. I had a talk with DH back then about what we'd do if it turns out she really was up to her old tricks again, and we agreed we'd move out (on the basis that we can't be accepting favors from someone who would do something as awful as that). Long story short, she came over last night, distraught, needing to confess to me because this guy won't leave his wife and twin 4 year olds for her and she was heartbroken. The oversimplified version is... I told her she needed to tell her husband, that I think what she did was wrong, and now we were going to move out. That's when she basically whipped out her box of s#!+ and started flinging everything she could think of at us to try to hurt us. You should have heard her; apparently I'm cold for not supporting her, I'm self-righteous, we're too naive to understand her situation, we're lazy for living in her house (you have to understand she had begged us to move there), I married beneath me, her own husband can't stand us, and oh yeah, we're cruel to my parents because we don't pretend to be religious for them.
She was really starting to say delusional things, and there was absolutely no point in arguing with her. So the last 10 minutes were literally her ranting at us while we sat there waiting for her to be done, saying nothing so she would just leave.
So now we're looking around for new places to live, and the most f'd up thing? We are going to be sharing a condo in Maui with my parents and her and her DH two days from now to celebrate my parents' 40th anniversary. We're supposed to be posing for family portraits on the beach and having a special time as a family for the sake of my folks. She has made it clear she doesn't want us to say anything to her husband about it ("let me figure out how I'm going to handle it"), and DH & I don't think it's for us to tell him the truth anyway. So we just responded to her 4 e-mails we got from her this morning with 2 sentences: "It's not our place to tell C the truth. However, we will not lie for you about anything."
She (while getting on a plane with her DH for a wedding on Kauai already) then responded with an e-mail that sounded like her will - leaving 75% of her assets for us. We texted her DH just asking if she was ok. He texted back (having been told by her that we fought with her over the house and my parents) that she's "rough but ok". Clearly, she hasn't told him yet and her suggested suicide threat was another bluff.
There's so much more that's still going to play out. I have told only 4 other people ever(besides my parents) about my suspicions. This whole thing just makes me sick. I don't know what I'm going to say to my parents, what I'm going to say to her DH when I next see him (he's inclined to believe her negative reports about us). I don't know if I'll have a relationship with her anymore after this. I don't know if she's going to have another psychotic episode while we're on vacation.
The silver lining, I guess, is that DH & I felt total solidarity with each other during and after that ordeal. And we're a little bit excited to find a place to move again. We might even go back down to Southern CA. We miss our old surfer lifestyle. It's sad that it takes seeing someone else self-destruct to make us realize how goofy and unimportant our fights are.